I'm sorry this is so short and has been taking me so long! Stress, brother moving, college, working, and hospital visits have been keeping me unmotivated to just sit and write.
This isn't ideal of what I wanted to put out. But ya'll deserve it.
Enjoy.
This weekend left me restless. I could not sleep, for every time my eyes closed, I could only see the look on Kevin's face from that Friday night. The look of being broken and of sadness. A look, I was all too familiar with. Something I never wished to put anyone else through.
But what's done is done.
It was now Monday morning, I slept only few hours during the night. As soon as my feet met the floor, the day already felt like it was dragging on. My normal morning shower did little to energize me like it normally would. My replacing my usual green tea with a strong dark coffee did little to wake me up. My mind, my body, and my soul were depressed. I knew it, but I would not allow myself to accept it.
No.
That morning I still ate my normal and silly breakfast like everything was okay. I still picked out my normal and stupid tie for the day. But instead of wearing the one I picked out for the day, I picked out a certain peach colored one that caught my eye. I am not certain why I made the change... Or, possibly I am... I gave it no deep thought as I put on my usual dress shoes and took my bag in my hand. Grabbing my keys off the usual spot on my dresser, and heading out the door.
It was like every other morning. I did everything just like I did everyday so lovingly and excitedly. Being about to face a new day of knowledge for my students was always exciting for me. Today did not have that flare. It was like getting soaked in the rain when only the sun is out. Impossible, but that's how I felt.
Kevin's face, his voice, and his scent became stronger and stronger as I drove closer and closer to the school. The anxiety in my body was now overcoming the depressing state I was in.
What if I see him today? What should I say? Should I say anything? Should I ignore him and avoid him? Should I seek him out and apologize? Should I act like Friday night never even happened? There was so many questions flooding through my mind at an overwhelming pace.
Red light.
I pressed my forehead against the rim of my steering wheel, letting out a long and loud groan, wishing it would scare the thoughts away. It did not. My mind was now over flowing with new thoughts.
Will I be able to handle myself when I see him? Will he still look as hurt as he did Friday night? Does he not care about me anymore? Should I care about him?
"EDDWARD ENOUGH!" I hit my forehead firmly against my steering wheel, as I yelled at myself.
"There is no reason to be so caught up and childish over a good for nothing...trouble making...cocky...gentle...kind... Son of a bitch."
Another groan escaped my lips as my forehead repeatedly hit against my steering wheel. How could I let this redhead make such an impact on my life already in such a short amount of time? This was dangerous.
BEEP BEEP
My eyes glanced up and the light was now green. Taking in a deep breath, I sat myself up straight, have a polite apologize wave, and went on my way to Peach Creek High. My new dreaded hell of Peach Creek.
•••
Each click of my shoe against the floor of the school hall, was one of the most frightening sounds. My body was tense, waiting to see that redhead pop out of any corner in these long halls. Though I knew it was too early for his liking to be at the school.
I do not even think he would be awake at this hour.
I sighed, letting my mind travel back. To those beautiful green eyes, that were tainted by sadness. That freckled face that lights up every time he smiles, now was dull from his frown. If it was even possible, I could even say the fire left his beautiful red hair. That would be overdoing it.
I came to my classroom door and put my key in to unlock it, like every other day. I would normally look forward to this, to see if the man that was becoming very important to me had left me a gift. But today I was dreading it, because I knew there wouldn't be any apples or apple themed treats awaiting for me on my desk.
I slowly pushed the door open, trying to delay this moment for just a little bit longer. I closed the door behind me and turned on the lights.
And I was right.
There wasn't an apple.
There was those green eyes, that freckled face and firey red hair sitting at my desk.
There was Kevin.
I did not know what to say or do, I just stood there like a fool, staring at this man in disbelief.
"It took you long enough to get here! You should've been here twenty minutes ago!" Kevin got up and started walking his way over to me.
My heart was beating fast and my head was spinning. I didn't know if I wanted to stay frozen or run for the hills. "W-what... Why are y-you here?"
His green eyes were dancing again, his face was alive with that smile again. I was too memorized to even realize that only an inch of space, kept us apart. "Listen Edd, I don't know the guy that hurt you so bad that you're still fucking afraid of love. But I'm not him. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to let you fall, I can't promise that I won't disappoint you at times. But goddamnit Edd, this weekend was the longest weekend without you, and I don't want to spend anymore days like that. Give me a shot and trust in me. You can trust me, okay?"
A whole new set of emotions came crashing in, washing away all the sadness that was consuming me. Each word that came from his lips I hung onto, taking in all of their harsh beauty. I felt like crying, but not because I was sad, but because I was relieved. Even though I was afraid, my heart knew I could start trusting him.
I gently nodded my head and said in almost a whisper. "Okay."
His smile sent chills down my body and he stepped closer to me. The space almost closed between us, as he picked up my peach colored tie in his hands. "You know I hate this really ugly tie, right?"
I smiled as I lost all will to fight back my emotions anymore. And let these tears fall down my face, leaving wet trails of happiness. "I know.. That's why I picked it out."
Kevin pulled me by my tie, closing the gap between us. "Smartass." His lips pressed into mine, and my body melted in joy. This was were I was suppose to be. This is where I felt like I belonged. Strong arms wrapped around me, my hands tangled in the firey red locks that I adored, and my lips dancing with the sweetest lips I've ever had against mine.
I won't refuse these feelings for him, anymore.
