disclaimer: no.

notes: huh. i didn't get as much reviews from the last chapter as i hoped. 'twas my favorite one too. oh well. with that note i'd like to say hi to Rainless (i'll even accompany you to his office), ravenrose101, HasiVA, xHeartofBlazexX, and xxxxUnKNoUnxxxx. thanks for reviewing.

dedication: to SparrowEyes. i hope this is to your liking. nah, who am I kidding. i turned this into a parody.

prompt: Sasuke's return to Konoha

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9. The Epic!Homecoming

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It was night when Sasuke came back.

Against the assumptions of Sasuke's epic!return which included and are not limited to: (1) Naruto dragging him back, beaten and incapacitated, (2) ANBU dragging him back, beaten and incapacitated, (3) Naruto dragging him back, dead (4) ANBU dragging him back, dead (5) Sasuke coming back to invade Konoha (6) Sasuke becoming Orochimaru and coming back to invade Konoha, none came true.

Sasuke just came back one night walking casually as if he was not a traitor, as if he didn't try to kill his comrades, as if he was not a wanted missing nin. Not even five seconds into the grounds of Konoha, he was apprehended and brought to the Hokage. He didn't put up any fight, just answered to the Hokage's inquiries and nodded at the appropriate moments. He was sentenced a 3-year probation which included and is not limited to: (1) Naruto dragging him everywhere as his bodyguard, (2) ANBU following him everywhere, (3) D-rank missions, (4) chakra restraints, (5) no leaving Konoha, (6) a substantial amount of financial donation from his inheritance, all of which, especially no. 6, were strictly implemented.

It was also a night when Sasuke met Sakura again.

She had known for quite some time that Sasuke was back but only after months was she allowed to see him. It was a welcoming party of some sorts arranged by none other than Naruto at Ichiraku's. The whole Rookie 9 was there plus Team Gai. Some teachers were present too like Genma, Anko, and Kurenai with her son. Kakashi was late as always.

Besides the assumptions of Sasuke's epic!return which have been mentioned, there was also a circulating bet as to what Sakura's epic!reaction would be which included and are not limited to: (1) Sakura sucker punching him with a chakra infused fist and then confessing how she missed and still loved the teme (Naruto), (2) Sakura bursting into tears and confessing how she missed and still loved Sasuke-kun (Ino), (3) Sakura jumping him and proceeding with Sasuke's 'second goal' (Kakashi), (4) Sakura completely ignoring Sasuke and promptly running into youthful!Lee's arms (Lee), (5) Sakura fainting (Hinata), and (6) Sakura not doing anything from the above (Sakura).

The party was halfway through when Sakura arrived from her shift in the hospital. Sasuke was doing his best to ignore the activity around him when he heard her voice.

"Sorry I'm late!" Sasuke locked eyes with her. All attention was directed at them as Naruto pushed Sasuke into Sakura's personal space. They were awkwardly looking at each other now. Sakura felt the pressure on her.

She didn't know which one to do first: the epic!hug, the epic!punch, or the epic!breakdown. So she settled for the least dramatic and breathed slow. Everyone else, held their breath.

"Welcome back, Sasuke." She gave him the first of her many smiles and she knew this was enough as Sasuke smirked.

"Hn, Sakura." Glad to be back.

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notes: i believe that every scenario of Sasuke's homecoming has already been written. so this is what came out. sorry if you expected drama or something and yes, Sakura won the circulating bet.

reviews, criticisms, flames, prompts, all are golden. :3