Chapter 9
Rachel sent her fathers home that night, despite their reluctance to leave her. She assured them that she was fine, that she had just needed some rest. They didn't want to leave, she knew that, but Daddy had patients and she knew Dad had some work to do as well.
Daddy had brought up her laptop and she sat in the family lounge late that night, doing research on bone marrow transplants. She googled everything she could possibly think of related to the procedure and by the time her eyes finally started drooping closed around 3:00, she had caught herself up on the procedures and complications.
Her sleep wasn't restful that night, the chair awkward and not really conducive to sleeping. But she was able to get a few more hours in and by the time she woke up at 7:00, she felt a little bit more rested than she had yesterday.
She immediately garbed up and entered her son's room. He was still sleeping and she took her spot beside his bed, watching him. His chest rose and fell rhythmically and his face was the picture of innocence. Her little man.
He was still sleeping when the door opened slightly and a blue-clad figure stepped in. Noah.
"Morning," he said quietly.
"Good morning. I thought you had to work today."
He shrugged a shoulder. "Called in. Can I talk to you?"
"Sure."
"Outside?"
She gazed at him in confusion but followed him out into the hallway. "Noah, what is it?" she asked, reaching up to remove her face covering.
He removed his as well. "Don't be mad."
She narrowed her eyes slightly. "What did you do?"
"Nothing bad," he assured her. "At least, I don't think so."
She put her hands on her hips and stared him down. "Noah Puckerman, what did you do?"
He took her hand and led her down the hallway to the family lounge. Seated on the couch was his mother. And beside her sat a serious looking Finn and Quinn.
She turned back to Noah. "You told them?"
"Yes."
"Noah, why would you do that?"
"They're here to be tested," he said softly.
She blinked. "Tested?"
"Yes."
Her eyes filled with tears. "Really?"
He nodded, still unsure if he was in trouble or not. "They're, uh, all coming to be tested."
"All?"
"The gleeks. Called them. They're all coming."
She pursed her lips but a few tears slipped out anyway. "Noah," she whispered.
He pulled her to him as she cried. "I know you never told anyone, but I figured it was worth a shot. Maybe one of them can help, you know?"
"I don't know how to thank you," she whispered, choking out a small sob.
"Don't thank me yet. Let's just see if it works."
Finn and Quinn approached them hesitantly. "Rach," Quinn said quietly.
Rachel pulled away from Noah and gave the blonde a small smile. "Quinn. Finn. It's good to see you."
Quinn pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "We'll do whatever we can, however we can help."
Rachel was unable to talk over the lump that had formed in her throat but she squeezed the blonde, hoping that conveyed her thanks. Quinn squeezed her back and Rachel thought maybe she'd understood.
She hugged Finn as well as Nora Puckerman. "Thank you all for coming," she said, swiping at her eyes. "I can't ever thank you enough."
"Let's just see what we can do, dear," Nora said kindly. "How do we go about getting some blood drawn around this place?"
Rachel laughed and took them down to the nurses' desk, explaining to Debbie that they wanted to be tested as donors for Christopher. The nurse's face lit up as Puck explained how many more people were coming to be tested as well.
"That's wonderful!" the nurse exclaimed. "Let's hope one of you is a good match for him."
She took the three down to the lab and Rachel and Puck were left alone. "Noah, thank you," Rachel breathed. "So much."
"Seriously, stop thanking me until it works," he said. "This whole thing might have been pointless."
"But there are so many possibilities," she mused. "They're really all coming?"
He nodded once. "Yep. Kurt and Mercedes are flying in from New York, Tina from Boston, Matt and Mike from Chicago. Brittany sounded really confused but Santana assured me they would catch a flight out of Miami as soon as they could. Tina said she'd get a hold of Artie and let him know as well. His phone was busy every time I tried."
Rachel shook her head in amazement. "I just can't believe they're all coming."
"Believe it, babe," Noah grinned. "And they're kinda pissed at you, just to let you know."
"What? Why?"
"Because you never said anything sooner," he told her. "Mercedes said they would have kept you company in New York if you had said something."
"That's why I didn't say anything," Rachel pointed out. "Sitting around in hospitals is depressing and exhausting. No one needs to do that if they don't have to."
"Sometimes people just want to be there for someone," he said softly. "Sometimes people just want to help."
"There's nothing anyone can do, unless they can give him marrow," Rachel said.
"Well, we're gonna find out, babe. We're gonna find out."
33333
Testing on Finn, Quinn and Nora went quickly. Nora left to go back to work in Lima, and Rachel took Quinn and Finn to meet her son. She and Puck helped them into the gowns and various coverings and Rachel felt her heart flutter nervously in her chest as she pushed the door open. This was it, this was the moment they'd get to meet her son. She realized she was nervous, not for herself, but for her son. Would they accept him? Would they look down on him or judge him for being sick? She didn't know.
Christopher was awake and watching cartoons when they came in. He smiled at her from the bed and she couldn't help but notice that it wasn't as bright as it should be.
She placed a gloved hand to his cheek, sorry she couldn't touch him skin to skin. "How are you feeling this morning, Bug?"
"Did you bring the bike?" he asked, looking up at her lazily.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Bike?" She glanced back at Noah. "Bike?" He shook his head, gazing at Christopher in concern.
"Mommy, who's that?" Christopher pointed a finger at Quinn and Finn.
"These are friends of Mommy and Noah," she told him. "This is Quinn," she pulled the blonde forward, "and Finn."
"They were in glee club with us too, buddy," Noah said from the other side of the bed.
"Did they sing Sweet Caroline too?" he asked.
Quinn smiled at the little boy. "Nope, that was a song Noah sang just for your mom."
"Your names rhyme," Christopher said. "Mommy, can we go to the playroom today?"
"Sweetheart, we can't go to the playroom anymore, remember? We talked about this. There are germs in there that can make you very sick."
"I want to watch Sponge Bob," he said. "Noah, can you find Sponge Bob?"
"Uh, sure, buddy," Noah said, exchanging a glance with Rachel.
She studied her son closely. His skin had a pale tinge to it and his eyes looked a little droopy, but he seemed ok. She stepped closer, hand reaching out to touch his shoulder when he shuddered and vomited all over her and himself. She sighed and hit the call button.
It took Debbie a little longer to come in because she had to gown up. Noah had moved Quinn and Finn to the back of the room and Rachel and Debbie moved Christopher quickly to the bathroom. He was crying and clutching at Rachel.
"Mommy, they're coming," he sobbed. "Don't let them take me."
"Who's coming, sweetheart?" she asked as she and Debbie showered him off.
"Mommy," he cried over and over.
Debbie narrowed her eyes. "Has he been like this?"
"Since he woke up. He seemed confused. He asked me if I brought the bike."
"I'm going to get his temp when we get him back into bed," the nurse told her.
Christopher registered a slightly elevated temperature and his doctors were paged immediately. "We're giving him antibiotics," Dr. Stevens told Rachel. "An elevated temperature is the first sign of infection and we're not taking any chances."
"He just started the drugs," Rachel pointed out. "How could he get sick so quickly?"
"It could have happened for two reasons," Dr. Ingram told her. "He could have already had the bug in his system or his immune system could be so weak it didn't take many drugs to suppress it."
"But you can fight it?" Noah asked, placing his hand on Rachel's shoulder.
"Yes. That's why we started antibiotics immediately. We want to treat it at the first sign, before it gets stronger than his immune system."
"We also wanted to let you know that we got the test results," Dr. Stevens said. "There are no strong matches."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing as strong as we'd like," the doctor told her. "We can use Quinn as a donor if we can't find anyone else, but we'd like to see a stronger match for him."
"Me?" Quinn said, stepping forward. "I was a match?"
"A weak one," Dr. Ingram said with a nod. "But we believe we can find a stronger one, either in the donor registry or among your friends. But if worst comes to worst and we can't, Quinn is the closest."
"What would happen with a weak match?" Rachel asked.
"It may not prove to be much help," Dr. Ingram said sadly. "A strong match gives him a 50-50 chance. A weaker match would lessen the odds and prolong the recovery time. We'd have to keep treating with strong doses of chemo, stronger than we'd use if the marrow were a good match. It's harder on his system, especially after his immune system has been suppressed."
"If you need it, take it," Quinn said firmly.
"If it comes to that, we will let you know," Dr. Stevens said. "For now, let's just check out all of our options. If you have any more questions, Rachel, please page us."
The doctors moved into an elevator and were gone. Finn glanced down at Rachel's vomit-covered gown. "Maybe you should get cleaned up."
"Rachel, there's a shower in the nurses' lounge you can use," Debbie said. "We don't want anyone using the bathroom in Christopher's room anymore."
Rachel nodded. "Thank you," she said. "How fast do you think the antibiotics will kick in?"
"It depends on how long the virus has been in his system, how ingrained it is," Debbie explained. "But if I had to guess, I'd say soon. He was fine last night and he didn't have any symptoms until this morning. I would say a short recovery."
Rachel nodded, thanking the nurse before turning back to her friends. "I'm going to go take a quick shower," she told them.
"Take your time, we'll be here," Puck assured her.
They waited until she walked away before Finn turned to Quinn. "You know finals are coming up, right?"
Puck glared at Quinn. "Look, if you're serious about this, great. If not, then tell her now, don't jerk her around on this. She can't take that."
Quinn shook her head. "No. I fully intend to follow through on this if it will help him."
"And finals?"
"Screw finals," she said definitively. "I'll take make-ups, talk to my professors, whatever. This is more important."
Puck's gaze softened. "Thank you," he said softly.
They walked down the hall and took seats in the family lounge. "She's really having a hard time with this, isn't she?" Quinn asked.
Puck nodded. "She's trying really hard to be strong but she's scared. She keeps saying this is different than last time and she's afraid."
"Why didn't she ever say anything?" Finn wondered. "I mean, no one even knew she had a kid."
"She said she kept in touch with Kurt and Tina and never told them," Puck explained. "I think it was easier. She didn't have to deal with anyone else on it, she just got to focus on Christopher and getting him better."
"I get that," Quinn mused. "Think about it. She's Rachel Berry. She was always on in high school, never really let anyone see her vulnerable. She told me once, right before we graduated, that her mantra had always been 'Never let them see you cry.' She was always so composed, so unflappable."
"She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her or putting their lives on hold for her," Puck told them. "She said that's why she never told Tina or Kurt."
"There's a difference between people feeling sorry for you and people wanting to be there for you," Finn said.
Puck nodded. "I think she's starting to see that."
"I'm glad she's here," Quinn said. "And I'm glad she has you."
"Me too. I'm glad she lets me be here." Puck shook his head angrily. "I get so pissed every time I think about her sitting in some hospital in New York, by herself."
"I can't believe Christopher's father just ditched them," Finn said seriously. "Who the fuck does that?"
"Mine did," Puck reminded him.
"You weren't sick," Quinn said. "I don't understand how you can have a child, love them and raise them for two years and just walk away because they're sick. I couldn't live with myself."
"Me either," Puck agreed. "I just don't get it."
"Don't get what?" Rachel asked, rejoining the group. She had changed into a pair of yoga pants and a hooded sweatshirt. Her hair was wet and pulled back into a ponytail.
"Socks with sandals," Quinn said smoothly. "Why would anyone ever think they look good?"
Rachel shook her head. "Beats me."
"Have you eaten yet?" Puck asked her.
She shook her head. "No. I'm not that hungry."
"You should probably eat something," Finn told her. "You're like really skinny now. And I know girls like that but you're almost too skinny."
She wrinkled her nose. "I really don't think I could stomach more hospital food right now."
"Why don't we run out and get something?" Puck asked.
"No, I don't want to leave him."
"He's sleeping now," Puck said. "There's a lot of different places close to the hospital, we won't go far away."
"I think we should, Rach," Quinn put in. "It'll do you some good, getting out of the hospital for a little while. We won't be gone long."
She cast a glance back at her son's door, hesitating. "Ok," she consented. "I guess we could. Let me just find Debbie and let her know."
"Right behind you," the nurse said. She was clad in her clean suit. "I was just getting ready to go check on him. If you want to leave your cell phone number at the desk, I'll call you if something happens."
"Yes, thank you," Rachel said gratefully.
"I know how you worry about him," Debbie told her. "You need to get out, get some fresh air. It'll be good for you. And then you can come back and breathe our recycled air again."
Rachel smiled and jotted her number down on a piece of scrap paper. "Noah, I'm going to leave yours too just in case they can't get a hold of me."
He nodded. "That's fine."
They all headed down to Puck's car. He opened the passenger door for Rachel before rounding the car to the driver's side. He ignored the looks he got from Quinn and Finn.
They picked a restaurant not far from the hospital and Rachel pulled her cell phone out immediately, setting it on the table before making Puck do the same. "I don't want to miss a call from the hospital because I can't hear it ringing," she said.
They talked while they waited for their food, Quinn and Finn catching Rachel up on their lives and asking her questions about New York. When their food came, they ate silently, enjoying the meal. He watched Rachel subtly and was glad she was actually eating her meal and not just shuffling it around her plate, which is what she usually did in the hospital cafeteria.
The place was crowded and after they finished, they had to wait on the waitress to bring the bill. Rachel shifted beside him in the booth and kept glancing at the clock on her phone. He knew she was anxious to get back. When the waitress finally brought the check, he reached for it but Finn was quicker.
"I got it," the taller boy said.
"No, it's ok, I was gonna get it," Puck said. "My suggestion we all go out, after all."
Finn waved him off. "Don't worry about it, man."
"Finn, really, you don't have to," Rachel said.
"Yeah, man, listen to Rachel," Puck said.
"Well, Noah, I was going to tell you the same thing. I am more than capable of paying for my own meal."
"Rachel, shut up," Puck and Finn said simultaneously.
She blinked. "Ok."
The waitress came back for the bill and Finn pressed his credit card into it before Puck could protest. "Next one's on me," Puck said.
Finn grinned. "Definitely."
"Thank you, Finn," Rachel said. "You didn't have to pay for all of us, but I appreciate the gesture."
Rachel's cell phone rang on the table in front of her and she froze, staring at it before picking it up quickly. "Hello? What? Is he ok?" They waited anxiously as she listened to the person on the other end. "We're on our way back now. Thanks."
She hung up the phone, throwing it into her purse. "We have to go. Now."
"What's wrong?" Puck asked. She scooted toward him, trying to make him leave the booth. He touched her arm lightly. "Rach? What's wrong? What happened?"
"His fever got higher, they moved him to Intensive Care. We need to go. Now," she repeated, her voice an octave higher.
Quinn pushed Finn out of the booth. "Go find the waitress, sign the damn slip and let's go." He ran off and Rachel exhaled shakily. "We'll hurry, Rach," Quinn said.
Rachel nodded absently and Puck knew she'd never be leaving the hospital again as long as Christopher was there. He felt more than a little guilty about that.
Finn came back, credit card in hand. "Let's go," he said seriously. They ran to the car and Puck pulled up directly in front of the hospital.
"Go," he told them. "I'll park the car and meet you inside."
Rachel scrambled out and Finn and Quinn were right behind her, the blonde grasping her arm tightly. Puck pulled the car around sharply and headed down to the parking garage, heart pounding rapidly.
He found the Intensive Care Unit easily once he re-entered the hospital. Rachel was standing with Finn and Quinn beside a large desk, talking to Dr. Ingram.
The doctor nodded at him as he came up to the group but continued her conversation with Rachel. "It's a serious infection," she told her. "We're giving stronger antibiotics and monitoring him closely. We have him on a heart monitor and a machine that monitors the oxygen level in his blood."
"Can I see him?" Rachel asked softly.
Dr. Ingram nodded. "Of course, but just you for now. Follow me."
Rachel turned to her friends. "I'm going to go sit with him," she said.
Puck reached out and took one of her hands. "I'm so sorry," he told her. "Hang in there."
She nodded, dropping his hand as she followed the doctor down the hall to her son's room.
Puck dropped into a chair. "Fuck."
"It's not your fault," Quinn said softly.
"How do you figure that? It was my idea, wasn't it?"
"We all supported it," Quinn said firmly. "And this would have happened whether she was here or not."
"She'll never leave him again," he said. "She hasn't been taking care of herself as it is and she's going to be ten times worse at it now."
"We'll watch her," Finn said. "We'll make sure she takes care of herself. She has to."
"Puck!"
He turned at the voice to find Tina, Kurt and Mercedes hurrying down the hallway toward the group. "You guys made it."
"We went upstairs," Tina said, slightly out of breath. "One of the nurses said he was brought down here. What happened?"
"We don't really know," Puck admitted. "He had a fever this morning and they gave him antibiotics but they said it got worse and they moved him down here."
"They said he was really incoherent, not making sense," Quinn told them. "They're concerned that the infection is serious."
"Rachel's with him now?" Kurt asked. They nodded. "Good," he said.
"Did you guys get tested yet?" Finn asked.
"No, we came right down here when they told us," Mercedes said, taking a seat beside her friends. "Man, I can't believe Diva has a kid and never told us."
"How is she doing?" Tina asked.
"She's scared," Puck said truthfully. "Really scared but she's trying to hold it together."
"Did you expect anything else?" a voice said from behind the group. They turned to find a grim looking Matt and Mike. "Seriously, it's Rachel," Mike continued. "She's not just gonna fall apart."
Puck stood up to greet his friends. "Thanks for coming," he said quietly.
"Wouldn't be anywhere else, man," Matt said simply. "We're a family, remember?"
"She'll be glad to see you guys," he said. "She's in with Christopher right now."
Matt nodded. "That's cool. We'll help any way we can."
"Artie should be here this evening," Tina said. "He had problems getting a flight but his dad's going to pick him up at Hopkins Airport and bring him straight here."
"How will he get home?" Finn asked.
Tina shrugged. "He said he'd figure it out later."
As he watched his friends chatting quietly, some about Rachel and her son, some about their lives, Puck felt a surge of pride and happiness that all of these people showed up for Rachel. They may not always have been the closest group, but they were there for each other when it mattered.
He glanced curiously down the hallway in the direction Rachel had gone. He glanced back at his friends, but they were engrossed in their own conversations. He wandered down the hall a little ways.
He wasn't looking for Christopher's room, not really, he was just feeling restless and needed to move around. But when he got to the end of the hall, before the corridor turned, he saw Rachel through a window. She was sitting in a chair pulled up beside a large bed. Stepping closer, he saw Christopher. The little boy was sleeping. He was hooked up to so many machines and had an oxygen mask over his face.
Rachel glanced up just then and his heart clenched at the sight of her red eyes. She turned back to her son, pressing a kiss to his forehead before exiting the room, closing the door softly behind her.
He opened his arms and she came to him immediately, crying softly against him. He held her tight, resting his chin on the top of her head. Her hair was still damp against his skin.
He held her in the hallway for a long time, doctors and nurses giving them sympathetic looks as they passed. He knew what it looked like: two parents comforting each other over their sick child. That's how it should be.
She pulled away and he produced a pocket sized pack of tissues from his pocket for her. She wiped her tears and he waited patiently as she composed herself.
"I'm sorry," she said hoarsely. "I didn't mean to cry all over you."
"No big deal," he told her. "How's Christopher?"
She shook her head slightly. "He's very sick. The infection is serious and it's impacting his kidneys. They stopped the drugs to suppress his immune system and they're giving him medication to fight the infection but the chemo's made him weak and they don't know how much good it will do."
Puck gaped at her. "Are you saying…are they saying…there's nothing they can do?"
"Not yet," Rachel admitted. "They're still trying to be optimistic. But I'm reading between the lines."
"The doctors are still optimistic, which means you should be," Puck told her firmly. "That's your little boy in there, which means he's stubborn and he's a fighter. Don't stop hoping yet, Rach."
She shook her head again. "I'm not. I never will. I'm just telling you how sick he is right now."
"He's sleeping a lot," he commented, his gaze moving back to the little boy.
"It's the medication," Rachel explained. "The nurses told me that the medicine makes him comfortable so he can rest and his body can fight."
"Almost everyone's here," he told her. "Matt, Mike, Tina, Mercedes and Kurt. Britt and Santana should be here soon and Tina said Artie's flying in tonight."
"I should probably go say hello," she said, her gaze straying back to the still form of her son.
"They can wait," he told her. "They'll understand. You can go back to him if you want, I don't want to keep you."
"Will you come sit with us?" she requested. "You've been here all along, it doesn't feel right making you wait outside with everyone else."
"If that's what you want," he agreed.
She led him back into the hospital room and she perched on the side of Christopher's bed. "Hey, Bug," she said in a low voice. "Noah's here to see you. And Mommy's other friends are all outside, waiting to meet you. So you have to get better real soon, ok? Because everyone's waiting to meet you, baby." She turned back to Puck. "You can talk to him, if you want. The nurses think he can hear us."
Puck stood behind Rachel, a steady hand resting on her shoulder. "Hey, buddy," he said softly. "You need to get better really soon, ok? I don't have anyone to watch Sponge Bob with and I can't make the Patrick voice if you don't make the Sponge Bob voice."
Rachel reached up and laced her fingers with his, blinking away her tears. "I hate seeing him so still," she whispered. "It's so not Christopher."
Puck didn't know what to say so he said nothing. She leaned back against his chest and they watched her son sleep, the rise and fall of his chest, the steady beeping of the heart monitor their only comfort in the moment.
