Ok - so I've taken the day off work today because it's my birthday (yay) and what am I doing? writing the next chapter of this because your replies to the last chapter were so bloody great that I felt I had to get this up for you all as soon as possible!

Thanks so much all - really do appreciate the comments...

Hope you like this chapter - little sneaky bit of a preview for you - it gets a lot happier from the next chapter! :))

x


Mac realised straight away what he must have thought…. For a moment she had completely forgotten where she was and what she'd been saying or how she'd been saying it to Mikey… "Oh God Will – it's not what you think…"

Will slammed the bottle of wine down on the sideboard and stared across the room… "I knew it was all too good to be true… Why the hell didn't you just say there was someone else Mac?"

Mac could tell from old that he was about to blow – the look of anger on his face at that moment instantly took her back to the Brian incident years ago… "Will….. Will – listen… it's not like that… you have to listen to me – there isn't anyone else – I swear to you…."

"Funny Mac cause I just heard you tell him that you loved him – MORE THAN ANYTHING MAC…. More than anything. Well a minute ago you loved me…You need to make your fucking mind up."

Mac stood and made her way over to Will and tried to take his hand…. "Will – let me explain - please… Come and sit down…"

He pulled his hand away angrily…. "Why don't you get back to your love huh? I'm only an old friend…"

"Will – don't be so childish... stop this - we need to talk – now… There's something I have to tell you..."

As Mac reached for his hand again Will pushed her away and stormed out into the kitchen slamming the door as he went. Mac sighed loudly and made a move to follow him – this was all her fucking fault – she should have told him about Mikey earlier rather than put it off and now he's gone and gotten the wrong end of the stick. Mac left it a moment and then, with her heart once again pounding away in her chest, followed him out to the kitchen – as she opened the door her heart broke at the sight of Will sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands…

"Will?" she whispered…

"Just go Mac – I don't want to hear anything you've got to say…" Will muttered with his head still buried in his hands….

"Don't push me away Billy…. I'm not going anywhere until we've talked."

"Forget it – we've said everything we need to say if you're in love with someone else."

Mac could see another tear roll down his cheek…. "Will – I'm not in love with anyone else – you have to believe that… You're the only man I love – have ever loved… Do you hear me?"

He didn't reply – he didn't even look up at her but Mac wasn't going to stop now….

"There's something I've been trying to tell you for the past fifteen minutes and I swear I'm not leaving till I do so you need to look at me and listen to what I've got to say before one of us explodes – this is important okay?…."

Will either didn't hear her or chose to ignore her because he wasn't even registering she'd said they needed to speak…. "It's always the same with you isn't it?" Will said his voice laced with bitterness…. "Just go Mac…"

"Will - just listen to me for a minute before you say something you'll regret." Mac pulled out the chair next to Will and lifted his chin but he wasn't having any of it – he pulled away from her and stood up sending his chair flying across the room…

"I'm sick of these games Mac… Just go back to the love of your life" he shouted…

Mac watched him walk away from her again and felt the anger rise up within her... "He's not the love of my life for God's sake– he's my Son" she shouted as he walked up the hallway…. "He's our Son"….


Will stopped dead in his tracks at the door frame, his back was to Mac and she watched as he leant his hand against the wall to steady himself…

Mac, almost in shock herself at the way she'd blurted it out, waited a moment before she stood and slowly walked towards him… "Will?"

Still there was no movement and Mac didn't know how the hell to deal with this… It hadn't come out as she'd planned – not that she'd even planned this but still she'd meant to say it calmly, telling him she loved him, holding his hand or something not blurting it out in anger...

"Will? Say something please…"

Finally Will turned around and stared at Mac – for the first time since she'd met him ten years ago Mac couldn't read him – she had no idea what the hell he was thinking… Mac bit her lip tentatively and reached for his hand… "Billy.."

"What did you say?" Will stuttered – his eyes completely wide with shock…

"Will – come and sit down…"

"Our Son?" Will repeated – his face completely devoid of any emotion…

"Will – I didn't mean to just blurt it out just like that…" She took him by the hand and carefully led him back to the kitchen table amazed that he seemed so calm – at least on the surface – what was going on inside that head of his was another matter… For a few moments they sat in silence – Will with his head bowed and Mac feeling like her heart was about to explode in her chest…. "Billy – that's what I've been trying to tell you... that we have a Son... I… I was pregnant when we split up – I didn't know it at the time but I was..."

The silence that followed was almost deafening for Mac – she wasn't sure if Will had even heard it properly... "Will... did you hear me?"

A moment or two later and Will finally lifted his head and looked Mac straight in the eye…

"Our son? You and me? We have a Son?" he asked simply his face etched in disbelief and his head shaking…

Mac nodded suddenly feeling terrified at what was coming next… "I've been trying to tell you."

"You haven't been trying very hard." Will replied sharply… "Don't you think it's something you should have mentioned like three hours ago? Or even six years ago?"

"Yes of course but I've been trying to figure out the best way to bring it up." Mac replied hoping beyond hope Will would understand just how difficult this had been for her…

"It's easy Mac – you just say it."

Mac half agreed with what he was saying but sometimes something like that is just so much easier said than done - she had to make Will see that… "It isn't all that easy Will – I can't just blurt out 'Oh hello, long time no see and by the way we have a Son'."

"Yeah you can – if something's that important… I did Mac – for six years I've wanted to tell you I still love you and I did – straight away… It's fucking easy when it's important."

Will stood up and starting pacing the room, shaking his head… He had his head bowed again as he walked back and forth muttering under his breath… Mac stood too – for some reason she was feeling more afraid with him standing and her sitting….

The silence was starting to haunt her – where do you go from here what do you say? Maybe an apology was in order? Mac really didn't know… She walked towards where he was leant on the back door and stopped just before him…

"Will – I'm sorry for it to be like this… At first I didn't know what to do you have to believe that…. I spent the first few weeks of my pregnancy absolutely petrified at the thought of a baby – I mean… me a Mother?… I was shocked and I was so scared that I could hardly function… Then you weren't anywhere to be found….. all the time I was terrified what you'd say actually say if I found you – all that on top of the fact I was doing this alone… throwing up every day for six months on the trot and trying to mend a broken heart at the same time. It wasn't all plain sailing you know…"

Mac calmed a little before carrying on… "Look - when I was in DC – I tried to ring you but I couldn't get any answer from the apartment or your cell phone… I even came to New York – but you weren't there – your doorman said you hadn't been home for weeks... I tried for those first three months – I swear I did…"

She stared into his eyes but there was nothing back…. "Then I came over here and…." Mac stopped – she knew from here on in she was in the wrong – she'd always known that for the past five years and she had no idea how to carry on….

Will looked up, obviously waiting for what was coming next… "You came here and what?"

It was Mac's turn to bow her head – she couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes and it was only a few seconds later when he repeated the question and prodded her for an answer that she felt the tears spring to her eyes… She inwardly pleaded with her brain not to let her cry – not here and now in front of him…

"Mac? You came here? and? and decided to cut me out the loop? Yeah? Decided not to let me know probably the most important thing that could ever happen to me?"

Still Will's eyes were burning down into hers and still Mac didn't know how to answer him…. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly, her eyes pleading with him to go easy on her….

"When were you planning on telling me Mac?" he yelled – his shock obviously giving way to anger…. "When? On his twenty first birthday? Jesus Christ…. I don't fucking believe this… I'm a Father…"

"Will – I'm so sorry…. You have to believe that even if you don't believe anything else… I never meant for it to get this out of control… it just did and it's been tearing me apart for years now…. I'm sorry…"

As Mac stood waiting for Will she thought of all the hundreds of apologies she'd made to him over the years and she suddenly came to a realisation – they were doomed – they always had been doomed... any kind of relationship was never going to work and suddenly the tears started to fill her eyes….

"Jesus fucking Christ" Will muttered under his breath, glaring at her - that look of love well and truly gone now...

"Will – I'm sorry" Mac repeated gently laying her arm on his... "I don't know what else to say…"

He shoved her hand off in an instant... "I don't want to hear you're sorry... just get out of my sight Mac – I can't deal with you and your sorry tears right now."

As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them but he couldn't take them back – he was far too angry to even think of taking them back. He took a look at the tearful Mackenzie standing in front of him and as much as he was seething with anger right now he somehow found it in him not to carry on any further with her right now. He had learned a lot over the past six years with his psychiatrists – he was learning not to be such a jerk when it came to his feelings and he was learning he didn't have to hurt people in return if he was hurt. One look at Mackenzie's distraught face and he knew he needed to calm down or there was never going to be a way to fix this. He pushed his was past Mac and stormed into the lounge slamming every door as he went.

"Oh God – don't cry… don't cry" she whispered to herself as tears started to stream down her face – The last thing she wanted was for Will to see her utterly distraught - it was him that should be upset – not her…. She knew that but she also knew she couldn't face him any longer – the look on his face was breaking her heart and making Mac hate herself just that little bit more than she already did.

Mac let her head drop into her hands desperately trying to figure out what to do next... What could she do next? the only thing that she knew how – and that was to leave... She was good at running away – that she could do...

She quickly scribbled a note to Will leaving her mobile number and asking him to call her in the morning if he wanted to talk any further – she owed him that at the very least. She was convinced that things would be better after a good night's sleep and maybe Will would have calmed down a little by then.

Mac made her way into the hallway and grabbed her coat and bag – she couldn't stay here any longer – she felt as if she was suffocating and her world collapsing around her – she knew she'd pretty much bought this on herself but that didn't help right now. She slipped her coat on and then reached into her bag and found what she was looking for. She smiled as she looked at the photo of Mikey in her hand – it had only been taken a month ago at school. She gently traced her finger around the outline of his face and smiled again… What was it about him? He always had the same effect over her – however sad she was, however angry she was Mikey always managed to put a smile on her face. It was Christmas Day and she should be with him and she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms right now.

Digging in her bag further she pulled out a pen and wrote "For My Daddy" on the bottom of the photo and then placed it right in the middle of the kitchen table where Will was sure to see it.