I had way more fun with this chapter than I probably should've. It's pacing is kind of weird too.
Note: Tomoe's kind of OOC, but the circumstances are different than they were in the manga/anime and they dated for longer, too. Just keep that in mind. Plus it's modern, and modern affection works differently.
Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.
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For a moment, Kenshin forgets that breathing is a good thing.
Then his lungs begin hurt and he remembers and says, "That's not funny."
"I'm not kidding. She's actually in my living room right now."
Katsura sounds freaked out too much for this to be a lie and suddenly he needs fresh air. So he pushes open a widow and shivers despite the still-warm October breeze. "B-but how?" he asks, hands beginning to shake. He catches sight of himself in the reflection of the window and the light reflects off his eyes in the worst possible way. "I—Katsura—"
"Kenshin," the man says and he's started to grow twitchy, not noticing that he's scratching again. "Kenshin, I need you to stay focused for a moment. Think, what happened that night?"
That night? "Blood," he answers. "A lot of blood. And—and snow and fucking—I killed her."
"But you couldn't see, couldn't hear, and you passed out from blood loss." Yeah, like he really needs to be reminded of this when he finds out that his dead ex-girlfriend's been alive for two years.
"But, Enishi—"
"Exactly." Even without Katsura explaining, it begins to click. "They'd already removed the body by the time you woke up. Turns out she was in a coma for a year. Woke up, family her you'd been killed. She goes to BC right now and is currently freaking out in my living room while my wife tries to calm her down."
Hell, because that's exactly the sort of thing her family would do. Self-loathing making him more suicidal in the past two years than he already was? Yeah, and this makes what he does look saintly, which is possibility one of the most selfish thoughts that's ever passed through his head. But the truth is that he's still a person and that has to count for something.
As evenly as he can manage, he says, "Put her on the phone." There's no please or politeness because by this point, he's having trouble simply standing there. His legs are shaking and the scratching stops the moment he feels blood on his fingers.
"Hold on," Katsura answers and though it's muffled, Kenshin hears him say, "You can talk to him, but you need to calm down. The two of you will just make each other worse."
On normal days, he might find this a little condescending, but right now he gets. He gets that the entirely of their problems have always worked off together too well. He hears the phone shift hands.
Then, suddenly, "Kenshin?"
It's like everything disappears in this moment but Tomoe's soft, hopeful voice that sounds like a dream. "Yeah," he answers, and slides to the floor because the chair is too far away. "Hi, Tomoe."
There comes the unmistakable sound of her crying and he's a step away from doing that himself. "I thought—" She cuts herself off, takes a shaky breath. This has to be a dream. Maybe even a nightmare. "They said you were dead."
"Said the same thing about you." His shoulder his bleeding and he should really take care of that but he doesn't think he ever has the capability to move at the moment. "So you've been in Boston, two hours away from me."
"Yeah. I live five blocks away from this apartment."
Five blocks. Since August they've been separated by five blocks. And Kenshin's pretty sure he's never hated someone as much as he hates Tomoe's parents in this moment. He goes to say something but all that comes out is, "Jesus Christ."
There's a pause, a hesitation. "Do you…want to meet up?" she asks cautiously and he's officially a wreck. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too." That's nowhere near a strong enough way to put it but words can only do so much. "We should. I can come up this—"
"I have a car," she cuts in and they've always had a problem with interrupting each other. It feels almost normal except that they're crying and that's usual for both of them. "I only have a morning class tomorrow. I can come up right after. Or skip it and just come now."
Tomoe's probably the only person in the whole world who can go from a coma to Boston College, he thinks. "Tomorrow works," he says. "Don't miss class for me. Ask Katsura for directions."
"Okay, okay." There's no way this can be reality. He's psychotic anyway, isn't he? Maybe this is him finally snapping. "I'll be there by one, roughly. Ikumatsu's given me your number. The fact that you have a cell phone is weird, Kenshin."
"Pretty weird for me too. And that works." Suddenly he remembers the fact that he has friends and, most importantly, a roommate. "You'll probably end up meeting some people since this is a small campus."
He can practically hear her smile when she says, "Ikumatsu was telling me that you've made friends. That's great, I'd love to meet them. But I get you alone first."
When she actually gets here, he'll have to give Tomoe a heads up that Kaoru—Or, no, because it's been two years and maybe she has a boyfriend. He's been dead after all. But he shakes the thought out of his mind. "Deal," he answers.
For about the millionth time his life, Kenshin thinks his life makes no sense.
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Though his mind is screaming at him to keep it a secret like everything else, Kenshin knows that isn't possible. She's showing up, she's inevitably going to meet everyone, and they're going to need some sort of warning. It's only fair. And besides, Katsura pointed out in the beginning of the year that friends tell each other things and as long as classified information isn't leaked, he should at least give them something about himself.
As if the word "friends" isn't surreal enough.
This is how all five of them end up in his and Sano's dorm room and it's blatantly obvious that he's even twitchier than usual.
"So you're saying that the girl you said was dead is actually alive," says his roommate and Kenshin leans back in his chair, hand twitching slightly. His shoulder stings from earlier, covered in a mass of band-aids and he's bitten his nails for the sole purpose of getting himself to stop the scratching. "How exactly?"
He can't explain everything so he quickly sifts through his mind as to what he can use and what he can't. "We were in the woods," he says, though he leaves out why and where. "And…I don't really know. I don't actually remember all of it. But there was an explosion. I covered her ears and she shut her eyes but that left me completely open and the light and sound blew my sight and hearing. I was in shorts and a t-shirt too and it was the middle of winter so I couldn't feel anything either. But then I got stabbed straight through the stomach and slashed in the face and I have no idea why anyone went after me. And I guess the guy went in for another attack.
"Tomoe jumped in front of me. I don't know why. I caught her but collapsed myself. My eyesight started coming back and it was just one blur of red and black and white. I wanted to try to get her out of there but I passed out. When I woke up, I was in a hospital in the middle of surgery to remove a bullet from my lung. Her brother was there. Told me she was dead. It's a long story, but her family's always hated me."
In all of this, he's only told one lie and it's tiring. He hasn't talked this much since the emotion meltdown he had on his godfather when he was ten. And especially not about this subject this sensitive and painful. For the past two years, Tomoe's basically been an avoided subject. His psychotic breaks starting getting worse after that and Katsura, one of the few people he talked to, probably thought he'd have one if he tried to talk about what happened.
This, before he got himself medicated, was one hundred percent true.
Since everyone's still looking at him with shock, he continues, "Anyway, turns out she was in a coma for a year and her family told her I was dead after she woke up, so I guess their intention was to get her with someone acceptable or something. Odds are she's freaking out on them over the phone right now. They were never on good terms and I feel horrible about this, but being with me made everything worse."
He was fifteen, she seventeen, and the relationship was so impossible it never should've happened in the first place. But it did and it still amazes him that after she found out what he did for a living, she told him how much she loved him, partially just to remind him to stay sane. For the longest amount of time he thought that was the only reason, but after she "died" he read her diary and finding out that everything she said she meant was almost too much to handle.
Right now he's trying not to wonder if that's changed.
After a moment of silence that makes him squirm, Kaoru says tentatively, "Did you ever find out who it was? In the woods I mean."
"Yoshida Noburu," he answers and there's a flash of recognition through everyone. The serial killer reached infamy throughout the world. What he isn't telling them is that Yoshida was literally hired to kill him. "I'm the reason he's dead. After stabbing Tomoe, he must've stabbed himself and committed suicide." This is his second lie, but he isn't letting them know that he's the person who did the stabbing.
"That's awful," Megumi murmurs, looking down at her lap. They probably all think he's a freak, which is something he's spent the past two months trying hard to avoid. "But—I mean, you're alive. That's all that matters, isn't it?"
Okay, or not. Their looks of pity aren't making this moment any easier or less awkward. Sano tells him, "Hey, don't look so depressed. She's alive and you get to see her tomorrow. And keep your head on straight because I don't want to see another panic attack."
"Won't happen again," he says and hopefully means it. Unfortunately right after he hung up, his roommate came in and he feels so bad that someone else had to deal with that fallout. Explaining away why his shoulder was covered in blood wasn't fun and he's pretty sure Sano knows it's bullshit.
Kaoru, who was sitting, stands and he remembers that she still has a class to go to. Almost strained-looking, she says, "I can't wait to meet her," and Kenshin knows he just broke her heart in possibly the worst possible way. And it's only October. "But I've got to go to psych right now." She reaches over, gives him a hug that he returns because he'd feel weird not doing so and she deserves it. Except for Tomoe, he's never dealt with anyone liking him before.
"See you later," he says and she gives a short smile before flurrying off. Today should be the best day of his life, but he's too in shock to really process anything right now. He adds, "Sorry for this coming out of nowhere. I get that it's weird."
"It's not exactly like you have control over the situation," Megumi points out and he's getting antsy but doesn't know how to kick them out. Or maybe he just doesn't want as many people. Right now he doesn't have the capability to deal with all of them at once.
Thankfully, Sano comes to his rescue because he's a thousand times blunter than Kenshin ever will be. "Okay, you two are going to scram," he says, taking him by surprise too. "Too many feelings flying around and I have a Calc test to study for. We'll talk to you later. See'ya."
"What—"
"Let's go, Miaso." Megumi gives Sano a look that blatantly says she knows that's a lie but she'll let it past. With Miaso still protesting, the two girls leave and the awkward tension is so strong it's ridiculous.
After a second of just nothing, he says, "Thanks."
"Don't worry about it," his friend answers. "You looked like you needed it. Do you want me to leave too?"
"No," he says, perhaps a little too quickly. But even though this is really good news, it's still flipping his world upside down and his coping methods aren't the greatest in the world. "You're fine."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
Today is so fucked, he thinks. Sano asks him, "So is that where the PTSD comes from?"
"Yeah," he says, still trying to get his mind around not only the situation, but also that he needed to explain said situation to a group of people that he mostly told the truth to. "I mean, I thought she'd literally died in my arms. There's other stuff too, but I got Acute Stress Disorder right after waking up and wasn't treated on time. Already having mental problems didn't help and I originally wasn't medicated for anything. Can we do something to not talk about this?"
Eventually they end up playing video games because, like most boys, it's the easiest answer to all things problematic.
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Tomoe is wearing a red dress with a white button-up sweater and grey Converse. Her hair is back in a high ponytail and her glasses are slightly slanted and blue. She looks almost no different.
And her kisses are exactly the same too.
"God," she says, pulling away and but leaving her arms around his neck. He doesn't move. "I've been waiting to do that for two years."
So, he thinks vaguely, no boyfriend. "Yeah," he says, reaching up and brushing her bangs from her face. "Yeah, same. I—you're actually here. This is amazing."
She smiles and her eyes look a little watery. "I can't believe it either. And you grew!"
Immediately, he feels his face flood with color, remember that he was only an inch taller than her last time. "Not anymore," he tells her. "I officially stopped, but yeah. I did a little. Do you want to go inside where we can talk?"
"Is your roommate around?" He shakes his head. "Then yes, definitely."
Even so, they spend a moment just holding each other before moving. He's reluctant to let her go, so he holds onto her hand as he leads her along, aware that they look like a perfectly average couple right now. Like nothing is wrong. She laces their fingers together and smiles. He owns one picture of them taken during the aftermath of a "business" trip at a restaurant in Greece and it never really did her justice.
When they reach the dorm room, squeezing past Mark on his way out of the suite and ignoring the look he gives them, his smile comes out lopsided and giddy and she doesn't look much better. During the first few months of their dating, she hardly smiled at all and it relieves him to know she hasn't reverted back to that. They don't let go of each other's hands even as she twists around and says, "That's your side of the room, right? The neat one?"
"Sano's not that bad," he answers and lets her drag him over to the bed so the two of them can sit. The window is thrown open and it's not supposed to be this warm in October. He untangles their fingers and slips her arm around her waist. She does the same, lying her head on his shoulder. It's the one he tore up yesterday and he holds back a wince. "So, do you have any idea what to do right now?"
"No," she says and her happiness is coming off in waves. It's been a long time since he's felt that directed entirely towards him and for once no thought of how he doesn't deserve it enters his head. Because she knows and has always known and for some fucked up reason decided he was worth the trouble anyway even two years later."I just—how'd you end up in college? I got myself into BC to get away from my family, but you don't have that excuse."
Two years is suddenly hard to get his mind around because that tone of voice hasn't changed in the slightest. And since he can't lie to her, he answers, "The whole cutting thing got worse and Katsura found out. Decided that I needed a break somewhere that I'd never be alone and shipped me off here. Exactly what did—"
"You mean it took everyone four years to find out you have a problem?" she asks. "Remind me why I didn't tell Katsura again."
"Because I stopped for a while. Also I'm finally medicated. Thought you'd be happy about that."
From this angle, he can see the scar on her shoulder from where the sword connected. Enishi said he got her in the heart but now that he actually knows where he hit, he knows that there was no way he could've killed her. She says, "I just got myself off the lorazepam I was prescribed when I woke up. It's good that you've finally gotten help."
Since he doesn't want to focus on this subject for too long when there are about a thousand other things to talk about, he abruptly changes it. "So what did your family tell you happened to me?" he asks.
"Well," she says, "that you killed me for one, though last I checked I jumped in front of you so that point is null and void, but I just figured that was the way a fourteen-year-old saw it. I passed out almost immediately so I don't actually know what happened at this point, but supposedly you didn't catch me and Yoshida was still alive and stabbed you before stabbing himself. What actually happened? What did my parents tell you?"
A cloud passes over the sun and throws his room into half a second of shadow. He tells her, "Enishi said that he showed up at the end and my sword went through your heart. I'm not sure how much you remember, but I couldn't see, hear, or feel, so details are fuzzy. My sword did connect with you, though and then I caught you but dropped you and passed out. I did manage to kill Yoshida, but I thought it was at the expense of your life. I've seriously spent the past two years trying to figure out the exact logistics as to how I managed to get you in the heart when we were almost the same height but I guess it all makes sense now."
"Did you ever find out who hired him?"
"Iiruka." He hasn't said the name in at least a year and it feels wrong in his mouth. "But—I don't know. Have you talked to your parents since yesterday?"
Her shoulders tense. "Yes," she says, annoyed. "And thank god my roommates don't speak Japanese or that would've gotten really uncomfortable."
"That bad?"
"I think twenty years of pent-up aggression came out in a half an hour phone call. They still seem completely unable to comprehend that I was actually happy with you. But, you know, why would they want that? I swear, it's like living in the Eighteen Hundreds when the wealthy are supposed to marry the wealthy."
When she was seventeen, she never would've said anything like this, but by the time she was eighteen, she was comfortable enough to rant and he's glad she's more like that than her earlier self. The only thing that can make Kenshin more socially awkward is other socially awkward people and for a while they were both pretty bad. "So no boyfriend?" he asks tentatively, feeling stupid.
"No boyfriend," she answers. "No girlfriend?" He shakes his head. "Okay, cool. Also, Ikumatsu was telling me you were in trouble or something. What's that about?"
In his excitement in seeing her, he'd blanked on his complication. Since no one's around and she knows everything and always has, he explains what's going on to the best of his ability but leaves out some of the less savory details. Besides, Sano will be coming back soon and they need to be quick. When he finishes, she says, "Kenshin, you seriously do have the worst luck."
"Katsura says that too."
"Well, it's true!"
It takes him a moment, but Kenshin realizes he's the most relaxed he's been in a while. In his reflection, he sees that his eyes are their normal blue color without a hint of change. "My roommate gets out of class soon," he says, "which means it'll probably be him and at least one other person. But do you want to go out to dinner later? Just the two of us? The pizza isn't abysmal."
Tomoe lets out the smallest of giggles, probably remembering the pizza they tried in Tennessee. "Sure," she says. "And I want to meet your friends."
"One of them has a crush of me," he tells her. "Just so you know. Her name's Kaoru. Oh, also they all have Japanese names even though only one of them is fully Japanese. All the ethnic kids were shoved into the same orientation group."
"That's hilarious."
"I know, right?"
They sit like that for a while, pressed close and unwilling to let go, terrified of losing each other again.
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Surprisingly, it's not as awkward as he anticipated.
When he sees her, Sano says, "So you're the Tomoe chick."
"Yes," she answers and they're all six in his dorm room, filling the capacity allowed by school rules. Good thing it's five of them normally. "Tomoe Yukishiro, nice to meet you. Sanosuke?"
They all introduce themselves and Kenshin's actively trying not to grin like an idiot because she's back. After having a day to compute this, it still feels surreal but he's completely accepting the fact that her family is worse than she thought and he hadn't killed her which means Katsura is even more awesome than he already had been from stopping him from committing suicide. In these past two years, he never stopped loving her and apparently she felt the same about him.
His life might not make much sense, but sometimes even he gets something good.
"Where are you from?" Megumi asks and everyone's ignoring what Kenshin had to explain to them the day before. "Your accent doesn't sound Japanese."
Tomoe smiles, all grace and poise and socially comfortable. "I pick up accents easily," she answer. "So, this is sort of a mix between English, Boston, and Kyoto. Are you from Osaka?"
Megumi blinks. "Yeah," she says. "It's been years, though."
"We're both from Tokyo, kind of," Kaoru adds, gesturing between herself and Sano.
"And I'm just from Upper State New York," Miaso says. "Bask in the glory that is my boringness."
Kaoru taps into her, shoulder to shoulder in a gesture Kenshin's learned to mean a nonverbal "shut up." Tomoe's sitting very close to him and he isn't complaining about it at all. He says, "I grew up in Scotland until I was nine. Don't worry, you aren't the only one."
"Really?" Miaso asks at the same time Megumi says, "You never told us that."
Tomoe says, "You never mentioned that?"
"I didn't think it was important!"
"God, you haven't changed at all." She's teasing him, something he doesn't experience often. "Most people mention at least once where they grew up."
He rolls his eyes, feeling himself falling back into their old pattern and he knows his friends can see it too. Most likely, he admits, being with Tomoe right now is slipping him into a hypo-manic state. For the past week or so, he's been relatively depressed for acceptable reasons but now happiness is infectious. Sano, who's sitting on the other side of him, ruffles his hair. "Well," he says, "Kenshin's always been a special snowflake."
"Hey!"
"Awkward koala is what I used to call him."
Megumi asks, "Why a koala?" and the two of them just shrug. "Sure. Why not?"
Kaoru is uncharacteristically quiet and he really does feel bad. But not bad enough to keep Tomoe at a distance. It's been two years, he should be cut some slack here and, though he hates to sound sappy, he was in love with her long before that. She adds, "We used to call him Hobbit too. He was five two when he met."
"Okay, now you're starting to hit embarrassing information territory."
"Well, I claim rights to that."
Despite himself, he laughs and he knows the difference must be glaring. For a moment there, everything feels flashback-level normal except with the addition of four others, and he quickly ruins it by moving his left shoulder. Though he holds back the wince, he's now acutely aware that he hurt himself pretty badly yesterday, which he'd originally gotten over by the fourth month into their relationship. Since her sweater is off, her scar is obvious and she doesn't seem to care.
Sometimes he seriously wishes he could do the same thing. Long sleeves aren't fun.
Miaso says, "What's BC like? I got accepted but they didn't give me enough money so my wouldn't let me go."
"I love it," Tomoe answers. "They have a really good pre-med program."
Next to her, Megumi's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Kenshin, you didn't tell me she was a pre-med major."
"Um, I kind of didn't find out until this morning." Everyone is look at him in a way that isn't quite staring, but rather interest. Except for Enishi the first time they met until the rest of Tomoe's family got involved, he's never seen anyone so enthralled in him before. Of course, this is partially because of the "revival" of Tomoe, but the fact remains the same. This is what he gets for never really talking about anything in relation to himself before.
They talk for another hour or so about nothing in particular until it nears six and everyone decides to go dinner. They split, Tomoe and Kenshin off the Luigi's and the other four off the D.C. When the two of them were dating, they never really showed it off in public, but he doesn't complain as she takes his hand. Being back with her is brilliant in ways he can't describe.
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Not long after he bids her goodbye in the parking lot and promises to make it down to Boston next weekend, Megumi corners him in the deserted back stairwell.
He isn't sure what he's expecting—a lecture about being careful with Kaoru's feelings, a discussion on how Tomoe's wound was not made by a normal knife—but what he gets is, "I had a really great childhood. My dad was gone a lot, but my mom tried really hard to make my siblings and me happy. She was abused as a kid and did the opposite of everything her parents did. When I was ten, I found out the only reason she was able to keep her head straight was because she took medication for bipolar disorder. Lamictol, to be specific."
For a moment, he's too shocked to do anything. Then he says, "I'm sorry," trying not to sound confused.
She runs her fingers through her hair. "I cut my finger earlier," she explains. "Sano directed me to the first aid kit. I saw you had Lamictol and a ton of other stuff and I know you don't go to counseling. I don't think you noticed it and Tomoe isn't around enough to, but you were pretty messed up today. Like, manic-level messed up. I thought maybe you'd want someone to talk to."
From what he's manage to gather, Megumi's kind of like him. She doesn't talk much about her own problems, so this all this comes as a surprise. "I was medicated for the first time in the beginning of July," he says feeling strange but, sort of like with Sano, oddly relieved, "so it doesn't take a lot to set me off. I told her about it today, before I was hanging out with you guys. She tried not to show it, but she was really relieved. I put her through a lot when we were together but the two of us weren't really sure what was going on and I was too scared to tell anyone. I was about a step away from ending up in an asylum. Sano unfortunately witnessed a pretty bad panic attack yesterday but I was that times ten before."
"You know," she says, "we're your friends. You can tell us stuff. We all talk to you. I'm taking it you aren't used to that?"
"Yeah." Having people notice him is hard enough; bringing attention to himself is an extra step he doesn't know who to take. "Everyone tells me that. Reciprocation isn't exactly my strong point."
She smiles at him and it's less coy-looking than it usually is. "Don't worry," she tells him. "We'll pry it out of you anyway."
And that's exactly what he's afraid of.
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Review please and let me know whether or not I failed terribly!
