Chapter Twenty-Five
Everyone watched with a mixture of concern, curiosity or suspicion as Sester was tended to by the Tellaran medical personnel.
Dr. Kendric approached them.
Argus was still struggling with the confusion of concern and a desire towards antagonism as he asked, "How is he, Doctor?"
"We've been able to stabilize him."
For now the concern won out. "Did the drugs do this?"
"Yes. The drugs have a potent combined effect. His mind is in the process of healing itself but it will take time. Normally, with the treatments and drugs we've given him, the healing should have progressed normally without further aids. But we did not anticipate the strength of his mind or we would have kept him here for further observation."
Cally was full of professional, not to mention personal curiosity. "I don't understand. What does the strength of his mind have to do with what happened?"
Dr. Kendric hesitated as if she was uncertain what she could reveal to them. "Unfortunately, that is something I can't tell you without Sester's permission. It's a matter of professional ethics and privacy. I hope you understand."
Avon said speculatively, "Are you saying that there is something about his mind which is causing this?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes."
Vila said, "That's not vague at all, is it? Couldn't you give us a clue?"
Dr. Kendric turned to him, "You would have to ask him when he wakes up."
Cally wanted to know. "When will that be, Dr. Kendric?"
"We've given him a mild sedative to encourage him to sleep and we will be monitoring him carefully. Like Avon, we recommend that he stay under observation. That way we can deal with any problems which come up."
**********
Avon readjusted the bed in the observation room for a sitting position. Plumping up the pillow for his back, he carefully climbed up onto it, stretched out his legs comfortably and crossing his arms over his chest. He watched impassively as the medical personnel wheeled Sester over to a place next to him. Several hours in the examination room under the machines had assured the medical specialists that he would not suffer another relapse.
Having company might have been an annoyance at any other time but having the psychostrategist where he could keep an eye on him was very useful. He won't have to feel useless even though he was stuck here under observation.
The Tellarans had provided a computer terminal that gave Avon access to anything he had a mind to explore. He'd amassed a large amount of information on various Tellaran scientific and technological advances. They had made great strides in many areas that he was eager to explore and see firsthand. He couldn't wait to see how compatible some of it would be with the Justice's technology.
After setting up the various monitors for Sester, the medical personnel left. They were relatively alone now, except for the discreet observers at the other end of the room. Avon looked over at the man he considered his second greatest enemy.
Sester's face still reflected faint tension and at times, his breathing was laboured. In this state, he looked vulnerable; not like the devious, cold-blooded psychostrategist who had broken him with clinical precision.
When Avon looked at this man, it was hard to hold back the burning anger. At times, there were other feelings; things he refused to acknowledge in the daytime but which haunted his nightmares. An underlying fear and panic. This man had pushed him to the point where he no longer wanted to live.
Sester seemed to know him better than he knew himself. He knew the things that haunted him, that drove him and the things that would ultimately destroy him.
Avon hated this man almost as much as he hated Servalan. If he had the opportunity, he would destroy him. Unfortunately, they were both being carefully monitored in the observation room.
Vila and Corinne came in through the open doorway. The corner of Avon's lips twitched briefly. It was the only indication of welcome on an otherwise inexpressive face. It seemed a long time since he'd had the opportunity to talk to Vila.
Vila glanced at Sester before saying, "Corinne and I thought it must be boring for you so we thought we'd come keep you company for awhile."
Corinne gave him a shy friendly smile.
Avon asked, "More magic tricks?"
Vila found them some chairs and they sat down next to Avon's bed. "No. We know how you feel about those so we thought…"
Avon interrupted, "I enjoyed your show."
Vila was taken aback. "You did?"
"You won your bet," said Avon.
Vila still couldn't quite believe he had heard correctly. "Oh. There was a trick that you didn't know?"
Avon looked at Vila and Corinne for a moment. Even to his uninformed eyes, it was clear that they were joined together already. "No."
Vila sounded disappointed. "Then I didn't win the bet."
"You did."
"But if you knew how all the tricks were done, that means you won the bet."
Avon repositioned the pillow behind his back and explained, "You achieved something that I've never been able to."
"I did?"
"The affect you accomplished with the audience was more potent than simple tricks."
A ragged voice from the other bed broke into the conversation. "What he means is that you are the magic, Vila. You and Corinne. You were able to achieve something that Avon is not capable of doing or understanding. You make people laugh and you lift them from the commonplace to a place of magic. You even made him enjoy the show. That is a wonderful magic ability."
Avon glared over at the psychostrategist. Sester had turned towards them and had been listening to their conversation. Avon said in a voice that could freeze the coldest of hearts, "This is a private conversation."
"My mistake. Pretend I'm not here." Sester smiled and rolled onto his back, but then he rolled towards them again. "Oh, before I mind my own business and none of yours, what am I doing here?"
Vila asked, "Don't you remember?"
Sester said, "The last thing I recall was…" He appeared to think for a moment. "…getting some coffee. Argus and I were…attempting to be nice to each other." An amused grin curved his lips. "I don't suppose he tried to poison me in his effort to be nice?"
Vila said, "He'd never do that. Not Argus."
Avon said, "I might."
Sester grinned at him. "And I bet you wouldn't bother being nice first."
Avon had an aggressive smile on his face. "I'll let you know."
Sester grinned, "Right before you poison me no doubt."
Vila asked Sester, "You don't remember Argus carrying you to the medical unit?"
Sester had a teasing look on his face. "Are you sure it wasn't to the airlock?"
Avon said expressionlessly, "Obviously an oversight."
Sester grinned at him again and said, "Like you, he could never ignore someone who was vulnerable or hurt."
Avon snarled and said with tight anger, "Don't presume to know me."
There was a flash of guilt on Sester's face. It was because of his understanding of Avon that he had been able to break him. "I'm sorry, Avon. It was insensitive of me."
Avon leaned towards him and punctuated each word with hostility, "Your apologies mean nothing to me."
"Of course. I'm….I'll shut up now." He faced the ceiling.
Vila tried to defuse the situation. He said jokingly to Avon, "So you owe me a favour now?"
Avon directed a long gaze at him. "It appears that I do."
Vila grinned impishly, "An unconditional one? It was your idea, remember?"
"So it was. What would you like me to do?"
Vila glanced slyly at Corinne before saying, "Can I tell you it later?"
Avon's eyes narrowed, "What are you up to, Vila?"
"Oh, nothing you have to worry about." He added hastily, "Or anyone."
"Now why does that worry me?" asked Avon.
Corinne had been very curious about the interactions between the people in the room. She asked, "Avon, why would that make you worried?"
Avon stared at her for a few seconds and then a with something resembling a twinkle in his eyes said, "You have no idea. Perhaps it's time you learned. I wouldn't want you to be uninformed."
"Hey!" said Vila in mock protest. "Don't listen to him, Corinne. He likes to make trouble."
"I believe that's your province. I seem to remember Space City and…"
"That's not fair! I was…I…I…"
Corinne was very curious now. She hadn't seen Vila this flustered since she had brought up the topic of having children. He had raced out of the room in record time on his way to get some birth control meds. "What happened on Space City?"
Vila sputtered, "I just…well…it was like this…"
Avon said helpfully, "Vila likes having fun." There was a hint of a mischievous grin on his face.
Corinne said with a smile, "Oh, I do too. We both do."
Avon said, "Not this kind of fun."
Vila had a near-panicked look on his face, "Avon…"
"He…" Avon had a roguish grin on his face. "Spent the entire time…playing games with a computer."
Vila's mouth dropped open and then he quickly said, "Yes. I like computer games." He gave Avon pointed look, "Especially the funny ones."
Avon chuckled. "As do I."
Corinne said, "Do you think I might enjoy them?"
Vila said with a grin. It had been a long time since he and Avon had played games with each other. "Maybe we can get Avon to program us some."
Avon glanced shrewdly at him, "Would this be in the nature of a favour?"
"Oh, no. You're not getting off that easy, Avon. You could do it as a nice gesture for Corinne. To show what a nice person you can be sometimes. You know, start off on the right foot?" Vila had a wide challenging grin.
Avon stared at Vila and then the friendly young woman next to him. Corinne had an innocent quality to her that was rare these days considering what she must have gone through on her home planet. She had intelligent eyes and like her mother, had an underlying strength of character. "I will do it as a welcome for Corinne."
**********
After Vila and Corinne left, Avon stared a long while at Sester before going back to his researches on the computer terminal.
Sester asked jokingly, "Have you decided to let me live for now?"
Without looking up, Avon said, "Don't get too confident."
Sester chuckled good-naturedly. He watched Avon work for a while, studying the way he was totally focused on the screen in front of him. "I don't suppose I said anything incriminating while I was out?"
Avon looked up slowly and fixed him with a hard look. "The Tellarans found out something about your mind."
Sester's easy manner did not disappear but his finger traced an invisible circle on the surface of his bed. "Did they tell you that?"
The tension in the air was palpable as each opponent tested the field.
"Yes."
Sester glanced at him briefly. Avon was still fixing him with an impenetrable stare. Sester gave him a calculated grin. "I doubt if they told you anything. That is not the Tellaran way." Invisible circles overlapped each other.
"Then there is something."
Sester's grin turned into an amused smile. "I could hardly deny something we both seem to know."
"What are you trying to hide?"
Sester shook his head lightly. "Avon, do you expect me to answer that?"
Each thrust of words was met with a sharp response. "If you want me to believe you."
Sester's finger stopped tracing the endless circles. "We both know that will never be possible."
"There are differing levels of trust."
"And you are offering the least trustworthy level of trust? In return for what the Tellarans discovered about my mind? That's hardly a fair trade."
An aggressive smile appeared on Avon's face. "Then it must be something substantial."
"Or something I don't think you would believe."
"Or both."
Sester's eyes met Avon's. "I want to tell you the truth, Avon; if there was any chance that you would believe me."
Without a further word, Avon turned his attentions back to the computer.
Sester sighed and went back to contemplating the ceiling and applying his skills to the mystery of his mind.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Corinne snuggled against Vila's shoulder as they looked up at the Tellaran night sky. The moon was like a bright saucer that they could almost reach out and touch. A plush blanket made a nice cushion on the lush grass.
With his arm curled around her shoulders, Vila felt at comfortable and happy. It was an odd but good feeling for him. He had a restless nature; he always needed something to do or people to talk to. It wasn't often that he just sat unless he was in trouble.
Corinne sighed contentedly. "I like it here."
"I do too."
"The moon is beautiful."
Vila looked up at it. It did seem very beautiful tonight but that might have been because of the company he was keeping. "It's reflecting your beauty."
Corinne squirmed around to look at him. "You say the nicest things."
"It's true." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.
A little later, Corinne said, "The moon here is different than on Chandar."
"How's that?" asked Vila puzzled.
"It reflects the light of the sun."
"But Corinne, that's what a moon does. That's why we can see it."
"I know but here, it's like a promise. The light is a reflection of something brighter that's coming. On Chandar, what comes is another day and that doesn't mean a whole lot. At least it didn't to me. But here, a new day on Tellar means something good."
Vila looked up at the full moon again. It seemed brighter somehow and even more beautiful against the night sky. Its silvery glint made their surroundings seem just as magical as their stage had been. He hadn't noticed that before.
He'd been fighting the Federation for so long. It seemed to be a dream that kept moving farther away every time they thought they were getting closer. It was hard to have hope sometimes. It would be nice to have a victory that wasn't temporary.
He said, "I think you're right. It is special here. When I'm here, it feels like there is hope. It's good to know that somewhere, what I've been fighting for can become real."
He brushed a wisp of hair from her face. "It feels real when I'm with you too."
There was a gentle smile on Corinne's face, "That was my thought when first I saw you."
"It was?"
"Yes." She leaned towards him.
**********
"The name's Kerr," said young Avon. He was walking towards two boys. They both looked to be about four or five years of age and Alphas from the assured way they carried themselves. All of the boys and girls in the room had that same look of privilege.
Finally, a memory where I'm awake. It was time to find some answers. As he looked at each of the two boys, Avon tried to reach for the information that refused to be known. He gasped as a stab of pain lanced through his head. The faces became indistinct as he pushed against the pain. Avon realized it wasn't his young self feeling pain in the memory. It was him.
Another lance of pain split his head and the vision began to splinter, making faces impossible to recognize. No!
A vague voice reached him. "Avon, relax. Let the memory come to you. Don't try to control it." Avon could barely identify it as the calming, reassuring voice of Dr. Kendric.
Something was preventing him from identifying the boys. But if he let the vision continue, perhaps he might find some clues. Avon relaxed his mind. The pain slowly faded.
The young Kerr was standing in front of the two boys he had been talking to earlier.
One of the boys asked, "You know what's going on?" Avon recognized the voice. This was the child that kept shaking him in the other memories, the one with the strong hands who had shown concern for him. Avon studied him carefully even as his young self answered. "I don't know for certain but I have a pretty good guess."
The strong boy had short brown hair and was tall and large. Even at this age, he reflected strength and solidity in the way he moved. At times he almost seemed embarrassed by his own size.
The second boy was smaller and had a shock of blond hair and a friendly expression on his face. He always seemed to have a ready smile. His eyes were sharp and intelligent.
The blond boy said, "Well don't keep us in suspense." It was the other boy, the persuasive one who would land him into trouble later on. Avon regarded him warily. He wished that someone would say the blond boy's name. They must have introduced themselves already and he'd missed it.
His young self said, "They're gathering the top Alpha children."
The blond boy smiled, "I already knew. But how did you? I didn't see you talk to anyone."
Kerr said, "I have ears. You only have to listen to know that most of the boys have a vocabulary and grammar far above their ages. I would guess that most of us have been placed years higher at our schools."
The blond boy said proudly, "I'm eight years higher."
Kerr said quickly, "So am I."
They both looked at the strong, brown-haired boy. He seemed almost embarrassed. "I'm only four years."
Kerr said encouragingly, "That still means that you've advanced faster than normal expectations."
"I suppose so." The brown-haired boy sounded relieved.
With a movement of his head, Kerr indicated some of the other smaller gatherings of children. "Some of them clearly aren't but they might have something else special about them that's not apparent."
The brown-haired boy said, "I don't like that loud one. He seemed nice at first but he's a bully. He didn't like it when some of the others didn't agree with what he was saying. He tried to push me."
The blond boy laughed. "I saw that. You pushed him back and he fell down. He must be one of those ones you were talking about, Kerr. He'd have to be to even consider pushing someone of your size, Jack. Or maybe he's one of…what do people call them?"
The Avon inside the young Kerr's mind thought, So the strong boy's name is Jack. This was a good start. Now he just needed the other one.
Young Kerr said, "Regressives?"
"Yes, one of those. Born an Alpha but doesn't grade as one."
Young Kerr said sarcastically, "Yes, either that, or he's blind."
The brown-haired boy said, "I hope I didn't hurt him. I tried not to push him too hard."
Kerr said, "Well, I wouldn't worry about it. He's still standing."
Jack looked over at the loud-mouthed bully. "I guess he is. Do you think I should have pushed him harder?"
Young Kerr and the blond boy stared at him. Jack looked innocently back at them; there was an open and earnest quality to him and then the corners of his mouth twitched and he started laughing.
Young Kerr said, "You had me worried there."
Jack said with a grin, "I'd never do that unless he tried pushing me again."
The blond boy said, "He'd be stupid to do that." He grinned. "Of course, he hasn't shown much in the way of brains yet, has he? Just look at him trying to act nice now."
Most of the other children were standing warily away from him now, not taken in by his smiles and warm manner. Once a bully shows his colours, it's hard to convince anyone you're nice and sincere, especially when your audience is a group of dominant Alphas who are not easily pushed around.
A small group of them were gathered around him though. They seemed to hang on his every word.
Young Kerr observed this and said derisively, "Bullies don't usually come with an abundance of brains. My parents say that violence is a common substitute for lack of intelligence. They say you should never have to resort to violence except in self-defence or if someone is in immediate danger. And even then, you should try to use your brains and only descend to using force if you have no other choice."
Jack said, "I like your parents."
Young Kerr turned to look at him. "You've never even met them."
"I mean, they sound better than…" Jack looked uncomfortable and stuffed both his hands into his pockets, almost as if he was trying to make himself smaller. "…never mind."
Avon was surprised that he could feel his young self's feelings of sympathy for this boy. The young Avon was similar to himself as an adult, but he was also different.
Had he been capable of greater empathy when he was younger and not just on rare occasions? To this young self, it seemed natural, not something he had to work at and remind himself to do. Young Kerr asked, "You mean different than your parents?"
Jack took his hands out of his pocket and he pulled his shoulders back, making him seem even larger. His face had become grim. "I don't want to talk about it."
Young Kerr put an open palm up. "It's alright. I won't talk about it. Let's talk about something more useful. This place must be a special training center of some kind. They want to train exceptional Alphas."
Jack asked, "Why?"
The blond boy said, "It must be the Federation. They want to select the top Alphas for special training. They want to make sure we get the best."
Young Kerr had a cynicism far beyond his years and he wasn't afraid to express it. "You mean they want to make sure that we only work for them. They're taking us young so that we won't have a choice."
"Shhh." The blond boy had a finger to his lips and his eyes darted nervously left and right. "Don't say that too loud. Are you trying to get us in trouble?"
Kerr did not let up on his cynicism but he did lower his tone. "I don't like being used. People took me from my school. They said my parents had put me in a special program. They lied. My parents would never do that without discussing it with me first."
Jack asked, "They wouldn't?"
Kerr said, "My parents are good that way."
The Avon inside the young mind thought, Why don't I remember that? The memories he had of his parents were vague and tinged with negative associations.
Jack said emphatically, "I really like your parents. My…" Avon noticed the young boy seemed uncomfortable again. "Never mind."
The blond boy said jokingly, "Do you plan to say 'never mind' every time you get to an interesting part?"
Jack glared at him.
Young Kerr said, "Leave him alone. How about you?"
The blond boy said, "My parents were glad when I'd been selected for a special program. I was too. They said I'd get much better education. Something that suited my intelligence and abilities. My parents aren't one of the really rich or powerful Alphas. So this is a great opportunity for me. Who wouldn't want that?"
Kerr asked, "It doesn't matter to you that you don't have a choice?"
"But we did."
Kerr's laughter had a sharp edge. "They would have known that you'd want it. It's why they didn't force you or your parents. What do you think would have happened if you'd refused?"
The young blond boy looked thoughtful, "You mean they might have done the same thing to me that they did to you?"
"I don't doubt it."
The blond boy glanced sharply at him, "Kerr, do you think your parents know where you are?"
Kerr said, "I highly doubt it." He looked around to make sure none of the others was close enough to hear and lowered his voice to the barest of whispers. "I'm going to try to find a way to contact them."
The blond boy seemed to find all of this difficult to believe but he whispered, "Are you crazy? What if you're found out? Look what they did to you already."
Jack whispered, "But it sounds like he's a prisoner. He has to contact his parents."
The blond boy said, "This all sounds too fantastic. We're not like some of the lawless border worlds. This is the Federation."
Kerr looked piercingly at him. "Exactly. It's just the type of thing they would do."
The blond boy glanced around anxiously again, his eyes were taking on the look of someone who suddenly found himself surrounded by crazy people. "You sound like one of those rebels. You're not, are you? Because if you are, I don't think my parents would like me talking to you. You're going to get me in trouble and probably kicked out of this program."
Jack's voice was still in a whisper but it had risen slightly, "Is that all you care about? Doesn't it matter to you that Kerr is a prisoner?"
The blond boy snapped back at him, "Of course I do! It's just that…"
Avon could feel that the young Kerr wanted to break up the tension. Kerr said, "I know it's hard to find out the truth about something you've always believed in. My parents say that the Federation is very good at covering things up."
The blond boy said sceptically, "If it is the truth."
Jack said, "Are you saying that Kerr is lying?"
The blond boy was defensive. "I didn't say that. It's what Kerr said, it's hard for me to believe it."
Jack said snidely, "Not to mention you don't want to lose your place in this special program that makes some of us prisoners."
The blond boy's voice rose above a whisper and he said angrily, "Shut up! You're not the only one who's worried about Kerr."
Young Kerr stepped between them. "Stop it. Both of you." He turned his head towards Jack and asked in a low whisper, "Jack, are you a prisoner too?"
Jack grimaced. "Not really. Not like you. My…father put me in this program. I…didn't want to come." His shoulders slowly slumped.
Young Kerr put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Why didn't you want to? Like he said, it is a good opportunity."
Jack looked up. There was misery in his eyes. "You wouldn't understand. I know why I'm here."
"Why?" asked Kerr.
Jack shook his head slowly. "I don't want to talk about it."
The blond boy said, "Kerr, you didn't answer my question. Are your parents rebels? That might explain why you were taken away from them. The Federation might have thought they would be bad influences on you."
Kerr said cynically, "Yes the Federation would call the truth a bad influence. But you might have a point, that may be why they took me."
Jack asked with concern, "Do you think they might hurt your parents?"
Avon could feel his young self's concern, "I don't know. My parents aren't rebels. They don't like them much either. They call them ignorant and violent. My parents respect their intentions but don't agree with most of the things they do. They say the rebels harm more people than they help and their actions make the Federation act even more brutal and oppressive. My parents said we should oppose the Federation but use your brains and try not to get people hurt in the process."
Avon was confused by what young Kerr was saying. He did not remember this about his parents. It was as if Kerr was describing someone else's parents. He needed to find out what happened. Which memories about his parents were real?
Who were these two boys? A tickle of memory touched the back of his mind. Avon felt that he should know who these boys were They seemed so familiar, as if he'd seen them before. Of course he had, they existed in his childhood memories. But there was something else...
There was an explosion of pain in his head. Avon cried out even as the dream receded back into the depths of his mind.
Dr. Kendric's voice told him, "It's alright, Avon. You'll feel better in a minute."
Avon's eyes opened. He recognized the muted mint green hue of the examination room ceiling. The pain in his head was fading, replaced by a feeling of calm. The memories were gone; he couldn't even remember what they had been about. A faint feeling of frustration filled him as he turned his head to look around.
Some of the doctors were at the control panels, stabilizing his condition presumably; making observations and taking readings. There was someone standing behind them. Avon blinked his eyes several times. For a few disturbing moments, his confused mind didn't recognize him.
Sester. A frown darkened Avon's face. How could he forget one of his greatest enemies?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cally repositioned the pillow for maximum support as Avon lay tiredly back on the inclined bed in the observation room. He said, "I can't remember anything."
Cally poured a glass of water for him from the pitcher beside the bed. Even though he didn't show it, she could sense Avon's frustration. What he needed was a diversion, something to occupy his mind. "Avon, when we were back on the ship, after one of your dreams, you woke up and asked me to remember something."
Avon's brows lifted in question, "Did I? I don't recall."
"Yes, you asked me to remember the name Jack. You said that it was one of the boys and that they had done something to you that hurt."
Avon crossed his arms over his chest as he contemplated this. "Did I say anything else?"
"No. I'd almost forgotten it. I meant to bring it up but you didn't seem to remember it later. Avon, do you know anyone named Jack?"
"None in my conscious memory."
A voice came from the other bed, "There's nothing in your files about a Jack either."
Avon shot an unfriendly look at his unwelcome neighbour.
Sester grinned at him, "Yes, I know. I should mind my own business. Just doing that now." He rolled so that his back faced them.
Avon asked, "How long does he have to be here?"
"I heard that," mumbled Sester.
Cally handed Avon the glass of water. "Until the doctors feel that the drugs are no longer affecting his mind."
Avon's lips pulled back in a snarl as he looked over at Sester. "When will that be?"
"It's hard to say."
Avon said dryly, "They must have other rooms they can put him in. I believe there's a storage closet just down the corridor."
With his back still facing them, Sester said, "If you want to get rid of me..."
Avon had a death's head grin, "There are more permanent ways. Unfortunately the majority of them would be illegal on Tellar."
Sester finally rolled to face them. "Lucky me."
Avon said with a grim smile, "You won't always be on Tellar."
Sester flashed him a grin. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Avon."
"But I can always try."
Sester asked, "Cally, you said that Avon was able to retain some memories about his dreams for a few seconds after they end?"
Cally regarded him warily, wondering what he was up to. "That's right."
"It might be useful to have a recording device of some kind or have someone ask Avon questions about what he remembers before he forgets."
Even though she hated to admit it, it sounded like a good idea. "That might be useful. What do you think, Avon?"
Avon asked, "Can you arrange it with the Tellarans?"
"I will speak to them now." Cally went to talk to one of the observers at the other end of the room.
Sester sighed. He wanted to offer to help further but he doubted if they would accept it. He rolled around again and tried to get some rest.
"What do you get out of this?" asked Avon.
Sester sighed again and said without turning around, "Nothing that you would want to understand, Avon."
"You will not gain an advantage from helping me."
"I know."
**********
Young Charles didn't know what to believe anymore. Sester could feel his confusion and fear as the boy turned on the shower overhead and cold water splashed over his body.
He shivered but clenched his teeth as he quickly washed himself. There was nothing warm in this place. He'd better get used to it.
Sester smiled to himself. This was the beginning of his love of luxury and creature comforts. He could remember hating the austere conditions they were forced to endure at first. For a young Alpha child, it was a rude awakening. Things got much better later, but not until after the first year. And only if they learned what they were supposed to learn.
For as long as Charles could remember, his parent had always wanted more. For themselves and for him. They felt very keenly their lack of position in Alpha society. Not all Alphas were equal and dominance was a strong part of Alpha culture.
They were all born to lead, not to be led. But not everyone can lead. It made Alpha society a cutthroat one, with each interaction a jostling for power and position.
His parents had always told him that you had to take whatever advantage you could get. No one will give it to you; they will only try to take it away from you.
Young Charles stepped out of the shower stall and quickly towelled himself dry. He picked up the neatly folded pants, shook them out and began pulling them on.
Despite what he said, he was inclined to believe that the Federation was what Kerr said it was.
Kerr? Sester reacted in shock at the familiar name.
Charles was highly intelligent and observant as a child. He had always been suspicious about some of the things his parents told him about the Federation. There were too many inconsistencies in the way things worked around him.
Sester was only half-paying attention to his young self ever since the mention of the familiar name. He didn't remember anyone named Kerr at the Academy.
There was a blinding stab of pain in his head. Sester could barely manage a thought of laughter amidst a groan. Well, that serves as a verification of sorts.
So I knew someone named Kerr but someone doesn't want me to remember him. Kerr is not a common name. It would be a great, and not very funny, coincidence if it were Avon. Could it be?
Pain split his head.
Charles fell to the ground. It felt as if he'd been hit by a hard object. He put his hand to the back of his head, something felt warm and sticky to the touch. His hand was wet with blood. He felt ill.
A rush of feet surrounded him. He looked up as the bully said, "Get him up!"
Hands grabbed his arms and pulled him to his feet. Sester could feel his young self's anger as he saw the face of the bully. He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't heard them come up behind him. The other boys in the shower hall left quickly. There would be no witnesses or accidental victims. Or anyone to help him.
Sester started with shock at the face of the bully. He recognized this boy. It was the…
Oomph. Young Charles bent over in pain as the bully punched him in the stomach. The bully said with a cruel sneer, "Someone told me that you've been saying things about me behind my back."
Charles gasped out, "Well, if that someone said that you had a brain the size of a pea and an ego the size of…"
The bully punched him in the face. Charles could feel blood escaping from his nose. Even though Charles knew that he should be afraid and not say things to make the situation worse, he refused to be cowed by an ignorant bully. He smiled impudently. "It's good to know I was right."
The bully knocked him hard against the side of the head. Charles felt dizzy. The young bully said, "I think it's time to teach you a lesson."
"I wouldn't recommend it," an ice-cold voice sent chills down the spines of the boys. Even the bully hesitated in mid-punch.
They all turned to stare at the intruder.
Charles gasped out, "Kerr!"
Sester's breath caught in his throat as he saw the face of the figure coming towards him.
Avon? Pain exploded in Sester's head. The memory began to fade away from him. He brought his mind to bear; he refused to let go of this memory.
The pain increased. Sester could hear himself groaning. Avon! He could not let go of this memory.
The young Avon walked into the shower room. There was no fear in his dark eyes, only an icy warning. Each word he spoke was like a sharpened edge. "Leave…him...alone."
Sester cried out in pain. It felt as if something was trying to rip the memories from his mind. "No!" He was straining to breathe. Must…not… let go of this memory. It was no good. There were only fragments now. Young Avon kneeling down beside him, reassuring him. Avon helping him up. Himself joking.
The pain was unbearable. Sester groaned and cried out, "Avon!"
They had been friends and Avon had saved him.
The face of the young Avon blended into the cold, angry older one who hated him.
"No!"
Images of Avon rushed towards him accusingly: Avon lying on the floor, bleeding and biting back a moan as the interrogators continued beating him; Avon screaming as drugs raced through his body like a burning fire; Avon hanging limp in exhaustion as blood dripped down from the angry red marks on his body and Avon huddled small in the dark of the isolation cell, shivering and longing for death. All because of him.
"No!" Sester felt sick. Avon was his friend. He had tortured his friend. "I'm sorry, Avon! I'm…"
Sester screamed in agony. His final thought before his mind mercifully descended into darkness was one last angry and horrified, Did they know?!
