Thanks to all of you for your awesome reviews. I'm glad you are sticking with me. So here is the next chapter, hope you like this one just as well.
Dizziness suddenly overwhelmed the young man as he starred at the woman in front of him. The long blond curls, the intensely blue eyes and the beautiful smile that made her whole face light up, there wasn't even a shadow of a doubt in his mind that this was Jessica. His Jess, the love of his life, the woman he planned to spent his life with, the…
He suddenly stopped, as the terrifying truth entered his mind.
"I…I…killed you…"
Sam said the words without emotions, like he was an empty vessel, which no longer had anything to give. His eyes were focused on the wall, too afraid they might meet hers and they might reveal nothing but hate and disappointment to him.
To his surprise she instead whispered, "How? How did you think you killed me? I burned."
He turned away, still unable to face her and his hand went up to cover his mouth as he tried to keep a sob from escaping him, "I had this dream. It came back again and again for several weeks. I saw what would happen."
The spirit stepped in front of him and her hand moved up to his face. Cupping it gently, she pulled him towards her and kissed him tenderly before she said, "You didn't know it was more than a dream.
Seeing the moisture and pain in his eyes, she recognized, he wasn't quite done with his guilt trip. Yet knowing him well enough she was also aware she needed to let him talk.
It didn't take more than a moment for the words to start coming over his lips, "I should have known though. It was my business to know those things. I could have saved you, but I didn't because I ignored the warnings." He met her eyes and no longer could hold back the tears that had been threatening him. Gasping he said, "Jess, I saw you die and I did nothing…"
Her hand stroked tenderly over his hair, sliding back down to his neck and pulling his head close to her. Still trying to regain his composure, Sam buried his face into her blouse, taking in the scent, which was so distinctly Jessica. How could she still be here after everything he just told her?
"Sam Winchester, if you really know as much about the supernatural as you claim to, how come you don't know, that your words are no surprise to me. I have known ever since I died." She pulled his face up again and looked at him, her eyes filled with love,
"No matter what you think, it wasn't your fault."
"But…"
"But what? Sam I know you, I know you feel responsible and I guess nothing will ever change that, but you have to understand, some things are out of your control. No matter, if you would have recognized your dream as a premonition or not, I still would have died."
There it was the reason, why he fell in love with her in the first place. She understood him, knew what made him tick, maybe not as well as Dean did, but pretty close. The young man looked at her and he recognized just how right she was with her assessment.
"Is that why you are here? Because you knew I couldn't forgive myself?" He asked with a shaky voice.
"No Sam, you still don't understand, do you?"
"What's to understand? You're here." For a moment his eyes lit up until another thought entered his tortured mind, "Or did you come because you hate me? I mean I could understand, if you did. What I did was horrible. I robbed you of your future, all the plans you had, I took them away from you."
"Sam," Her voice took a on a tone of determination, "I thought we just went over this. You didn't kill me. You have to let go of this guilt or it will destroy you."
There was incredible sadness in her features and her heart was ready to break for the man who meant so much to her. Oh how she longed to be with him again, to go back and relive the times they spent walking hand in hand or studying or going out with friends. But more than anything she missed his laugh, his tenderness, the looks from his expressive eyes that were reserved only for her, the way he put his arms around her and made her feel safe. She wanted all this back and yet, she knew that there was no way for her to ever regain this time. What was even worse though was watching the man she felt so deeply for, destroy himself with a guilt that he had no reason to feel and that's why she would do everything in her power to change it.
Stepping forward, she pulled him close, kissing him long and deeply until she felt his arms wrap around her also and he returned the kiss with a passion that left both of them breathless. Finally Jess moved back and put her hand on his mouth. Reluctantly he let her go, his eyes still glued to her with longing.
"I love you Jess." He whispered, his hands reaching out to touch her golden curls, happiness written in his orbs that had taken on a soft greenish brown, "I'm glad you came."
For a moment there was a silence between them that seemed to spell contentment, but it was only for the young hunter, as the spirit was fighting for the words she needed to say next. At last she sighed, then held on to the larger hand that was still playing with her hair.
"You brought me back Sam. I didn't come on my own."
"But…I…I thought, maybe Louisa, she…, I mean…" He stuttered, unable to form a clear thought.
"Louisa is gone. She disappeared when Dean and Bobby burned her bones." She explained, still holding on to his hand.
"No, that's not possible, I saw her."
"Sam, it wasn't Louisa, who you saw, it was me."
"But, how…?" Confusion was written not just in his face but over his whole body.
"You saw what you wanted, because your mind didn't allow you to see the truth."
"So this isn't real? You are not really here; it's just a figment of my imagination?" His shoulders slumped and he suddenly appeared so much younger and vulnerable.
"This is real, I am real, but we are not in your world. Sam, I can't come back to your world, I don't have a body left there and you can't come to mine, because you are not dead. This is a dimension in between. You brought me here and saw me as Louisa, but it was always me. I wanted to tell you, but there are rules I have to follow. So I tried to give you hints. I never called you Antonio and I used things we did together to help you would remember, because I knew you would loose yourself more and more the longer you stayed here." She looked at him with tears in her eyes, "Sam, I love you so much, but you can't stay. You will die, if you do. You have to let me go and return to your own world."
Listening to her words intently, Sam felt the peace he had been missing for so long return to his heart. There was no longer a doubt as to what he needed to do.
"No Jess, I love you and now that I have you back, there is nothing that can make me let you go again."
SN SN SN SN SN
Bobby had silently watched the two older Winchesters talking to Sam for the last four hours. They had been pleading, reminiscing, pleading, planning and pleading again. In all this they had told him over and over again how important he was to them. That there lives had no purpose without him. Still, the young man had shown not the slightest indication that he could hear them, nor had there been a change in his condition, at least none that either of the two men could observe.
The salvage yard owner on the other hand had noticed some supple changes in the unconscious young man. He knew he should have told his friends but had chosen not to, because the changes had certainly not been for the better. There was a slight decrease in his breathing, not very noticeable, unless you looked for it, only about one to two breaths per minute. His skin had taken on a paleness that was almost translucent and there was absolutely no resistance when his brother or father picked up one of his hands to hold it. It looked like he was a rag doll rather than a human being and even though neither of the other two had picked up on it, probably because their minds refused to, Bobby did and he knew what these changes meant.
Startled by John getting up, the grizzled hunter looked at his friend.
"I need a shower, gotta clear my head." The elder Winchester mumbled before disappearing into the bathroom.
"You really should take a break, too." Bobby suggested to Dean, who was still sitting, still holding on to his baby brother's hand and still talking.
"Thanks, but I don't think so" The younger man responded, "Sammy needs me."
"Would you mind, if I sit with him for a while? There are a few things I would like to say to him." The older man asked, "And I really would like to say this in private."
Reluctantly Dean got up and took a moment to look down at the quiet features of his sleeping sibling.
Finally he turned, "Alright, I guess I could use some fresh air and stretch my legs in the process."
He gave his friend an understanding nod, before walking out of the front door.
Sighing Bobby repositioned the chair and sat down, shaking his head as he observed the young man on the bed. He really didn't want to do this, yet he had to be sure his assessment was right before he caused unneeded distress to the other two men. Lifting the blankets enough so he could see Sam's feet, he touched them as he visually inspected their color. Covering them again, he moved his hand to the young man's neck and gently pushed his fingers against it, keeping them there for some time, while his eyes rested on his watch. At last he let go and carded his fingers through the dark curls before he let his hand come to rest on the ill boys shoulder.
"Damn it, Sammy, you can't just leave like this. Where in the world are you right now? I know things have been tough for you lately, but you can't tell me that bailing out like this is better." He blinked the moisture from his eyes then continued, "Kid, I've known you since you've been in diapers. Matter of fact, I changed quite a few of them and believe me, just for that I should get a medal. Darn, you've been such a little sprout, always active and always slipping through my fingers. You could hide in the smallest spaces and if it wouldn't have been for your brother, there would have been more than one occasion when we wouldn't have found you before something bad happened. Dean seemed to have a six sense, when it came to you and he always could find you, when no one else could." He smiled at the memory, before he became serious again, "Sammy, Dean needs you. I don't know, if it's too late or not, but you got to come back. Your brother isn't going to do well without you."
"We are loosing him, aren't we?"
The question came from the direction of the bathroom, where John was standing in the doorway, his hands braced against the frame. He was almost afraid to make eye contact with the other man, but when he finally did, he found the answer to his question written there. Taking a deep breath, he walked over and kneeled down beside the bed. Sliding his rough hand carefully through the dark hair, he allowed several tears to escape his eyes.
"I'm sorry Sammy."
"No!" This time the voice came from the other side and it was filled with anger.
Making his way past Bobby and to the bed, the older brother almost jumped onto it. Straddling Sam's body between his legs, he grabbed his shoulders and shook him, "You are not going anywhere, do you understand?" His face was still twisted with anger as he continued to shake the limp body several times, "You are not allowed to die!"
Still working through the surprise over Dean's sudden appearance and outbreak, both John and Bobby were ready to pull the younger man off Sam before he caused any harm to his brother, when after the last words, his tenseness suddenly disappeared and his shoulders slumped. Tears appeared in his eyes and started to stream down his face, as his voice changed to pleading, "Please Sammy, you need to come back. I can't do this without you."
He pulled his brother into his chest and buried his face into the thick dark curls, no longer even trying to hold back the sobs that were now shaking his body as his father and friend stood by helplessly watching.
TBC
So what do you guys think? Sure looks like Sammy isn't gonna make it this time. He made his mind up to stay with Jess. This sure is gonna break Dean and John too. So let me know what you think. Hugs, Vonnie
