Die Tonight, Live Forever

Chapter 9: Give It Up To Me

EPOV

Sometimes, I think God is laughing at me.

I think he does this shit on purpose, just to force me to suffer further than I already have. Apparently, I am his play thing, with which he feels he can do whatever he wants in order to entertain himself. I could live with the fact.

What I could not live with, however, was the fact that Bella Swan was less than a foot away from me, with her hot, fresh blood pouring from her veins and being washed away with the rain. What a waste. I worried that I would cause a scene, as the urge to lick the concrete beneath her rose within me, desiring to salvage every last drop I could. This was a tragedy, if I had ever seen one.

The pain that was being inflicted on me in this very moment was unlike anything I had felt before. The fire in my throat rose as the venom in my mouth fueled the flames. Her blood sang to me, taunting me, as she writhed in agony over the laceration that had so mockingly appeared right between her collar bone and neck.

Along with this pain caused by the fire of her blood, was an unmistakable feeling of self-loathing, beating me over the head once more. The incessant rapping continued as I fell to my knees, praying to whatever God would listen, for the strength to save her rather than injure her further in pursuit of the most glorious taste ever known to me.

I held my breath.

"Edward?! Edward, are you listening to me? I need help! Now!" Her voice, stricken with panic, helped to ease the temptation of her blood. It reminded me of what I stood for.

I was not a monster. I was just a sick man, who would give anything to have his soul back.

Ten seconds passed.

Twenty.

Thirty.

I knelt in adoration of the river flowing before me. My throat ached and my teeth remained clenched, coated in a thick blanket of venom that began to pour uncontrollably.

Forty seconds.

I gulped the venom down my throat, adding to the burn.

Fifty.

Isabella Swan's body began to shiver as she took a deep breath and her eyes screamed with the energy that she no longer possessed.

One entire minute had passed. If I could make it this long, I could make it another minute.

Right?

"What do you mean, 'Fuck the hospital'? We're going! We have to! Take me to a hospital, right now!" She was frantic.

"I…I can't do that, Bella. But I can help you," I said, my voice sounding more rational than I planned for it to sound. Apparently, the vampire within me craved to startle her further. I let my gaze run over her figure.

It was dark. The grey concrete the lay beneath her was soaked with the down pour that made this so much harder than it should have been. Her hand, which she vigorously applied pressure to her wound with, was soaked in a mixture of sweat, blood, and rain. And her body may have been the most torturous of all. Not only did the silk slip she wore cling to her body, but it outlined ever muscle, every toned plane of her abdomen, every bone of her rib cage and hips, and the taut nipples of her breasts which called to me, louder than her blood in this second. The combination was paralyzing.

I shook my head. Another two minutes had passed, and I had said nothing. I hadn't killed her, and I had made a conscious decision that I would not. Suddenly, her voice surprised me as it came through another roar of thunder. Her pain was audible this time.

"You…you really are…" Bella look up to me, and her big brown eyes, circled with a thick layer of streaky eyeliner, widened in horror as they met mine.

"Yes, Bella. Say it."

"You really are…a vampire?"

It was more of a question than a statement, but at least it was acceptance. I stared at her for a long moment, doing nothing.

"Are you scared, Bella?" I asked, now officially toying with her. I was the cat, and she was my mouse. It was time to face facts. She lay on the sidewalk, nearly motionless, still holding pressure to her injury, and whispered her response.

"A little."

"Are you afraid that I'm going to kill you?" I couldn't breathe, but I was able to speak if I focused. Bella's heartbeat was picking up pace as I spoke. It was the only clear sign that she was nowhere near death. Her blood was attempting to coagulate under her fingers, but the scent continued to drive the frenzy within me.

"No. No, that's not it. I'm afraid that I'm going to die, because you can fix this, and you aren't doing anything at all." She was three steps ahead of me. She wasn't afraid that she would die because of me, but because of the wound that was continuously draining her blood.

Bella Swan was insane, and her next statement was simply confirmation.

"Edward, what the fuck is wrong with you? If you are a fucking vampire, you're not doing a very good job. You have to either save me, or kill me. Right now. Please. Just do it. I want you to. You have my permission. Ahh!" she winced in pain as she finally admitted, in front of God and everyone, that she had been an idiot for laughing at me that night in my bed room. She believed the truth.

Closure was sweet. I was suddenly feeling rather incorrigible; daring. I actually felt the right side of my face tighten into a smirk as I whispered, remembering the scars on her wrists from the self-inflicted wounds.

"I thought you enjoyed feeling pain, Isabella," I teased, aware that it was inappropriate, but unable to resist. Her heartbeat quickened again.

"What?!" the shock in her face became panic as she realized what I was speaking of.

"You knew…you…what the fuck?! This isn't the time or place, Edward! Help me! Please? I'll do anything."

"Anything? You'll do…anything? Is that right, Bella?"

"Anything," she wept, tears filling her eyes.

I had gone too far. But she was willing to allow me anything I desired in the moment, and I felt victorious. Rather than stand still and boast, I knelt to her level and extended my hand to her. She eyed it incredulously and began to hyperventilate. Her breath in the rain drove me further down the path of destruction. I wet my lips in preparation.

"Give me your hand, Bella."

"What? Why? I'm going to die. You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

"Silence," I muttered, growing impatient, "Your hand."

Confusion spread itself across her features as she removed her hand from the injury, allowing the blood's scent to slap me in the face, and extended it to meet mine.

I allowed myself ten seconds.

After they passed, so did a fraction of my self control.

Too forcefully, I pulled her arm further towards me, startling her. She clenched her teeth and shut her eyes, wincing as my fingers laced themselves with hers.

Her small, fragile, warm hand was coated in blood, a centimeter away from my lips.

That was when Bella Swan began to pray for her life.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is…"

She continued to recite the Catholic prayer for another round before I rolled my eyes.

"Do you mind?" I asked, my eyelashes fluttering, mockingly toward her. She scoffed in horror. How sarcasm had the worst tendency to show up at all the wrong times, I will never know.

"Excuse me?" she stuttered, "You're about to kill me, and you're telling me not to pray?"

"Oh, would you cease with all the drama, really Bella, I'm not going to kill you. Relax. I'm having a moment here, if you don't mind."

"You're going to save me, then? How?"

I was becoming agitated with all of her questions. Here I was, trying to enjoy the delicious taste that awaited me, and she was interrupting me.

"If you'll shut up for five seconds, I'll show you. Do not move, Isabella. Your life depends on it. Do you understand me?" My voice became surprisingly commanding, almost frightening.

She nodded in agreement, and slammed her lips shut. I closed my eyes and focused on her hand in mine, covered in her glorious blood. Slowly, carefully, gently, I lifted one finger from her hand toward my mouth, breathed in deeply, and let the flames lick their way down my throat.

My own personal Hell was before me. I would get through this. I would prove to myself and to Bella that I was better than any vampire could be. I was her knight in shining armor, and she needed me to live.

It felt like hours had passed, but it had only been a few minutes that Bella had been before me, her blood exposed. I opened my eyes and stared at the black polish of her index finger nail, which she was also watching like a hawk.

"What are you…"

"I said, silence, Bella. This will only take a second."

I knew if I didn't do it now, it'd be too late. I had to taste her. I had to. Her blood called to me, taunting me in every way possible, declaring my weakness, my monstrosity, all of my flaws, in every cell. I had to do something, but I could not kill her.

In a sudden moment of courage, I directed her finger to meet my tongue, and with it, the world stopped.

The air seemed fresher.

The thunder of the storm grew louder.

The lighting that shattered a nearby tree grew brighter.

My feelings for her, in this moment, grew deeper. And so did my deathly lust for her.

I felt my arousal growing against the denim of my jeans as I sucked delicately on Bella Swan's finger, feeling like every cell in my body would explode instantaneously.

It was only after I heard her moan that I realized I had allowed a fraction of my teeth to sink themselves into the skin of her finger. She pulled against my strength, as if it made a difference, and flinched in pain. Her finger, and her whole body, for the matter, stayed in the same place I held it. My eyes fell on her face.

"Ahh!"

In that moment, I realized, I was not a monster.

Because I stopped.

BPOV

Even in this moment, I had no idea how turned on I could be in my life.

I was scared to death. My blood was flowing all around me, blending in with the red of my slip, and soaked in with the rain on the sidewalk. I felt my pulse beating in the wound on my neck, and I felt the pain in my finger as Edward's teeth sunk into my flesh. I clenched my teeth in response and shouted as his tongue danced on the wound he had inflicted upon me, suddenly making it feel overwhelmingly better. I sighed.

"I thought…you weren't going to kill me."

"I won't. But Bella, you are simply irresistible. I can't tell you how long I've waited for this." His eyes took on a new, bizarre shade of orange, as he mumbled between slurped at my fingers and hand. His cool tongue felt amazing on my skin, and I struggled to keep my thoughts clean, just in case he would kill me.

If he would kill me like this, I would die a thousand times.

"You…you taste incredible, Bella. I want so much more, but I…"

"You what? You can't kill me? Why not?" I wondered aloud, not really expecting a legitimate answer. He sucked at my palm, closed his eyes in reverence, and then opened his eyes to me.

"You already know the reason, Bella. Don't toy with me."

"Why not? You're toying with me. I'm going to lose enough blood to be dead in a few minutes. You have to fix me. Do what you did to my hand….here," I extended my neck, feeling the hot blood seeping out of me, and the feeling of dizziness lulling me into unconsciousness as I made an effort to move closer to him. My head spun.

"Do it, Edward. Enjoy it. Save me," I heard my voice mutter as my eyelids fell, suddenly becoming heavy. Edward's strong arms came around my waist.

"If you insist, Bella, but you must know, if things don't turn in our favor, I love you."

"What?" I asked, stunned. Did that really just come out of his mouth? He loved me?

"I love you."

"Shut the fuck up." I refused to believe it. It was probably something he said to every human before he killed them. My heart fluttered in my chest, screaming that it was true, that I should believe that because he loved me, he would not kill me.

He laughed, whole-heartedly, before surprising me as his icy lips met mine. I closed my eyes and my body argued with the instinct of survival. My breath picked up as I urged him closer to me, wrapping my arm around his body despite the pain in my neck. I felt my hips thrusting toward him, as I tasted him again. He tasted different. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was my blood on his lips. I wasn't sure, but the change was for the better, and made me crave for the kiss to last longer. He broke away after another second.

"I can't believe this is happening," I mumbled, breathless. He nodded in agreement.

"Hold still, Bella." I held my breath as he tilted his chin to the left and followed the trail of blood up my body. His tongue played over my left breast sopping up the remaining blood there before creating his own trail of coolness up to the offending source. One swift graze of his tongue, and the pain subsided. The horrible stench of my blood was gone. A feeling of calm washed over me as I raised my hand to touch the would-be wound and found nothing.

"It's…gone," I whispered, astonished.

"Yes. Vampire venom heals most human injuries."

"Do doctors know about this?" Edward laughed at my question, seeming my light-hearted than I had ever seen him. His voice rang of cheerfulness; as if he was very satisfied that he hadn't murdered me.

"I hope not. Humans don't believe in vampires, remember? We're just role-playing characters and sexual fantasies," he mocked me, and I deserved it, having laughed at him before this incident had forced him to provide me with proof.

"Oh. I see. Edward... I…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For saving my life."

"It's nothing," he responded, his beautiful smile haunting me as I was struck with a realization.

I didn't need to cut myself anymore. His teeth could do that part for me.

The blood I hated smelling was the most appealing thing in the world to him.

The venom that coated his teeth could heal me so that I wouldn't die.

He was strong, fast, powerful, sexy, and beautiful; the list went on.

He did amazing things with his tongue.

And I was what he desired most.

Everything I had been looking for was inside of Edward. I only hoped that what he wanted was inside of me.

"Bella…your slip…"

"I know, it's filthy," I noted, observing my figure and all the red fabric that hugged my body, drenched in rain, sweat, and blood.

"No. May I have it?" He asked. The lighting struck again as he helped me to my feet.

"The blood?" I asked, knowing it was the reason he wanted it.

"I…umm. I guess so, yes," he seemed a bit ashamed of himself. I smiled for a moment.

"If that isn't flattery, I don't know what is. You want my dirty laundry," I laughed to myself for a moment.

"Hm. Well, you know."

Edward was becoming awkward, and it startled me. Even when I thought he was about to kill me he was charming and fluent. I decided that I should inform him of my realization.

"You know, we could have it all."

"I know," he said, as if reading my mind.

"What do you mean by that, exactly?"

"You first," he insisted, turning to face me, letting his hand graze my cheek gently. I felt my face lean into his touch. I craved it so. I looked into his eyes.

"You have everything I want," I said circumspectly. He scoffed.

"I'm a monster."

"Well, maybe, but…we could help each other. You realize that I…"

"You're self-destructive, and I'm a tool that you can use."

"And you're a vampire. And I have…good blood." Edward's smile rose up his face again as I looked up at him.

"You have the most delicious blood I've tasted in 100 years…and I'm so happy I didn't kill you." My heart melted under his gaze as his square jaw line shifted again.

"Yeah, I'm happy about that too…you know, this is all very unrealistic," I muttered, stating the obvious.

"So we can be of some use to each other, then, is that what you're saying?" Edward asked, moving the conversation along, was if I was distracted.

"Give it up to me," I smirked, "I'm all yours."