We became inseparable over the next two or three weeks, bonding more and more with every realization of how much we had in common. Paul completely forgotten, Bobby had changed shifts and I was never home. Paul must not have been bothered because he never asked. It was crazy how amazing this all was. And I finally got to see his house too. It was humongous! His bedroom alone was practically bigger than my whole house! And he had this full basement with a pool table, and a giant fish tank in the wall, and a professional dart board, and an actual arcade game in it! An old stand up console of Pac man. It was like a Barbie dream house but for guys. We finally got to sit down and watch the rest of Boondock Saints', and once he finished it all the way through, we had to watch it over and over, again and again, until we almost knew it word for word. And if we ever disagreed on anything for more than a few seconds, one of us would shout "fuck!" and the other would shout "ass!!!" and we'd break down into a fit of laughter until we forgot what we were talking about. He was great! Everything about Mitchie was perfect, and the more I got to know him, the more I wanted him. But not with the same feverish frenzy of lust and passion that I had in the beginning. No, this was different. It was changing. I just got to a point where I wanted him beside me at all times. Not neccessarily rolling around or anything. Just there. Him and me, against the world. The thought of it created a side of me that I didn't even know was there. But I liked it and I needed him to make it real.
Naturally, the kids teased me twice as bad at school while my scrapes and bruises healed, making even more jokes about me. Believe me when I say that some days I was a comment or two short of showing them exactly what it's like to get beat up like this! But knowing them they probably had a gang of lawyers on standby for just such a situation. Pussies! So yeah, the other kids did their worst to try to break me. But Mitchie just made me feel so good about myself when I was with him that it just didn't matter anymore. Mitchie even 'defended' me most of the time, telling them to let it go. Or sometimes he'd just put a hand on my shoulder and say, "C'mon, let's get out of here." and walk me away from all that nonsense. It made me want to stick out my tongue and give them the finger at the same time. It was incredible, and for a good little while, I hadn't even thought of him sexually at all. Not that the attraction wasn't still there. Because in my opinion, he was still, undoubtedly, the hottest boy for miles around. And nobody could touch him, not even if they tried.
Our friendship continued to grow, beyond anything I ever would have thought possible in the beginning. Certainly not while I was gazing at him and wishing I had the balls to speak to him. But what surprised me most, was his acceptance of everything that I did. I mean, a few hugs here and there, or a compliment...that I tried to keep as 'masculine' as humanly possible, of course...he never thought it was weird. He never flinched, never backed away. In fact, once I start giving him little hugs and touches, he began to get even more addicted to the feeling than I was. We were reaching a point where we would look at each other and just smile for no reason at all. He was enjoyable, and funny, and sexy, and cool, and just...an incredibly beautiful person. But as much of a nut as I was when he was around me, I never came right out and told him how I felt. For the idea to even cross my mind was terrifying. Instead I fell in love with the idea of him and me...even more than the real thing. Because, let's be honest, the real thing doesn't exist. I'm lucky, but I'm not that lucky!
However, just when I thought that things couldn't get any better, that Mitchie and I had reached that level of 'closeness' where we couldn't get any closer without being involved. There's a certain line of heterosexuality that you just can't cross. Occasionally, you can step on it. You can even DANCE on it if you live overseas somewhere. But you can't cross it. But one afternoon...I got the feeling that Tanner was thinking of pushing that limitation. He surprised me by coming over to my house after school, and he had carried over a big box for me on the bus. I thought it was weird that he was visiting me out of the blue at the time, even more so that he was lugging this 'thing' with him, but I was really happy to see him anyway. "What's this for?" I asked.
"It's a present. For you." He said, straining to set it down in the driveway. He looked relieved to put it down, and it made me swoon to see him look up at me, breathing a bit heavy, the slight moisture on his forehead causing a few wisps of hair to stick to it. He looked so delicious right then.
"Hehehe, why? It's not my birthday." I said, confused.
"Since when did it have to be your birthday for you to get a present?"
"Well it's not Christmas either." I grinned.
"Look I just dragged this huge piece of junk over here on a BUS! So you're either gonna take it, or I'm gonna beat you to death with it." He smiled between huffs and puffs, and I got the message. I walked over and he leaned the flat box against me.
"What is it?"
"Just open it. It's a gift from me to you for being a friend." Mitchie said. I don't know why it hit me so swiftly, or what made it so powerful, but the tone of his voice, the look in his eye, and everything that I had been thinking since day one, struck me like a bolt of lightning. Suddenly weeks and weeks worth of love and sexual thoughts rushed into my head all at once, and reduced me to that scared chicken that used to sit behind him on the bus all over again. I stumbled a little bit, a nervous jumble of emotions making me weak in the knees, and opened the box. I looked inside and almost teared up. I couldn't believe it, and I was kinda choked up as to what to say.
My silence got Mitchie to speak, "It's a guitar" he said, looking at the emotion on my face. I just remember how you used to play in middle school and you said you missed it and I thought you might want it."
I couldn't take my eyes off of it. This was...expensive. I had never gotten a gift like this before, I was frozen. "Mitchie...you didn't....you didn't have to buy me this." I said softly.
"I know. That's the cool part! Out of all the friends I've ever had, you're the only one who doesn't want or expect anything from me other than my company. It's kind of neat to feel wanted for a change." If only he knew how wanted he was. Still unable to talk, really, I think Mitchie started to get uncomfortable. "You know, if you don't like it I mean, if it's too much or something, I can take it back. I can get you something else if you want." He was so adorable.
I walked over to him, still trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in my eyes, and hugged him lovingly around his neck. "I love it Mitchie. Oh my God. I love it."
"Oh...ok. Well..good." He mumbled, and I just held my arms around his neck. I knew that I was probably breaking a whole shitload of 'man rules' out here in the open...and getting ready to cry on top of it, but my arms just wouldn't let go.
"No one has ever done something this nice for me Mitchie. Thank you. Thank you so much."
"Uh....k..." Was all Mitchie said. His voice was shaking now, and I don't think he expected me to be quite so grateful. I felt him tremble slightly in my arms, and I could tell that he was getting really fidgety now. I should probably let him go. I wanted to let him go. But my arms refused. They only held on tighter. I inhaled the sweet scent of his chest, and I could feel his heart beating next to mine. I loved that sensation. It made me pull him even closer to me, and I held on.
Neither one of us said a word, but I could clearly hear him breathing over my shoulder, as I'm sure he could hear mine. I just...held him there. And soon...I felt him raise his arms rise up softly over my back...to hold me too.
Our hug lasted an eternity and I felt this soft, gentle panic race through me as I felt his hands running up and down my back incredibly slow. His fingers had a feather's touch and he was definitely quaking inside. His chest quivered so sweetly against mine and I was suddenly overwhelmed with an attraction that almost made me take him right there in my front yard. I was afraid to let go, because if I looked at him, if I saw those eyes, those lips...I'd kiss him. There's no 'maybe' involved here. I would kiss him. It's almost worth throwing everything for that kiss. Oh man, what have I done? I've come full circle right back to square one. I'm a lovesick puppy again.
I heard Mitchie take a deep breath, and his hands started creeping down back, lower, and lower...ever so softly. Then they sank to my waist, exciting me almost to the point of orgasm. I hugged him closer than before, but was hoping he wouldn't feel the bulge in the front of my pants. And then, his hands timidly traveled lower, trembling madly as it began to cup the gentle rise on the top of my cheeks.
My body reacted all on its own, and I couldn't help but jump. I inhaled quickly and he suddenly jumped back in horror. His eyes were wide and he had a bulge in his pants that he covered up with his hands as he turned away from me. He got extremely flustered, his face a deep shade of red. He started apologizing like he had cut off one of my fingers or something. He was mortified, almost in tears. It took him a few moments to even calm down enough to stutter out the words, "I'm sorry Jack... I... I should go. I've gotta go now."
"No...No don't go. Mitchie, wait..."
"I have to go."
"Why?"
"I just do, ok? I hope you like the gift." He said, using his hair, his hands, his frantic pacing back and forth, to hide his face from me entirely. He just wanted to get out of there as fast as he could.
"I told you, I love the gift..."
"STOP saying that!" He shouted all of the sudden. And we looked at one another in silence, both a bit confused as to what was happening here between us. And how it came to a boiling point so unbelievably fast. "I....I just..." He started, but couldn't find the words.
"Don't leave, ok? Look....why don't you just come on in for a while, we'll talk for a while or something."
"Jack..."
"Just for a little while? C'mon...please?" I begged, and he pouted for a quick second as he turned to walk in through my front door.
We grabbed a soda or two and went into my bedroom. It was claustrophobic in comparison to his and the paint was worn and faded, but Mitchie didn't seem to mind at all. Or even notice for that matter. We laid back on the bed the short way, our legs hanging over the side and tried to find some way to get back to being normal again. But it wasn't going to be all that easy this time around. We started off with that same kind of meaningless 'small talk' that we had indulged in that first day on the bus. A little talking about this and a little talking about that, it was all pleasant, sure. But what I really wanted him to talk about was the scene outside. There wasn't really a way to segue into it, so I just asked him about it point blank.
"Mitchie? What exactly happened out there in the yard? With you and me, I mean."
He paused and then said, "I don't know..." Another short silenced passed and he whispered, "What do you think happened?"
"I don't know either. It was kinda...you know...weird." Not more than a second after the words had left my lips, Mitchie turned over on his side away from me. I reached out to get him to look at me, but he pulled his shoulder back and turned his face down into the mattress. "Dude, are you ok?"
"Leave me alone..." He sobbed.
"Wait...I didn't mean...I just mean it was 'weird' like...well you know what I mean. Right?"
"Whatever."
"C'mon Mitchie, don't be mad at me. Please?" Mitchie slowly rose up onto his elbows, and he was crying. His eyes seemed to drip tears of pure silver as he finally opened a bit of himself to me.
"I want so badly to be like everybody else, Jack. I want so badly to be normal But I'm not. And no matter how hard I try, I just...I can't stop..feeling this way! I just can't make it stop!"
"Feeling what way?" I asked, but he didn't answer. "Mitchie...talk to me. Feeling what way?"
He hesitated at first, as though the words had a huge brick wall to break down before they could reach the surface, but with determination, and a few more warm tears spilling from his eyes, he told me. "I like...I like guys Jack." He said, and once again...I was frozen. "Did you hear me? I said I like boys! Alright! I said it! Happy now! Mitchie, the little teenage heartbreaker with the fat wallet and the big house...is a fag! Har har...you can LAUGH now!"
A cold shiver ran through me. A surreal feeling of disbelief washed over my entire body and I couldn't really understand what I was hearing. Mitchie was the most wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful boy that I had ever seen in my young life. I had been worshipping the ground he walked on since I first laid eyes on him. And on top of everything else, we had become the very best of friends even without the sighs and the glances and the dreamy ideas of what it would be like to be with him. I couldn't have thought up a more ideal love interest if I tried. To hear those words come out of his mouth should be the most amazing experience of my life! And yet, here he was, telling me that he was gay and I was completely lost as to what to do with myself. As it sunk in a bit deeper, layer after layer of comprehension reaching my emotional involvement at last, I found myself turning into a puddle of butterflies. The air around me seemed to heat up about 50 degrees and I felt my limbs go numb as I moved closer to comfort him. He shrugged me off at first, but when I put my arms around him, he wept openly in my arms. I could feel his tears soaking through my shirt, and my care for him kept him wrapped up in a tender embrace.
"Mitchie," I said, my voice trying hard not to crack under pressure. "Liking guys doesn't mean you can't love somebody. We're just like anybody else."
Was it a slip of the tongue on my part? I don't think so. I felt more like an admission. A confession. And it felt so good to actually speak it out loud for the first time in front of someone else. Especially when it's the boy you've been crazy in love with since you met him. Mitchie caught on to what I said right away and he looked up at me with sad, but questioning, eyes. His gray specs glowed with an escalating level of hope and I melted when he said with a hazy voice, "...we?"
"Yeah..." I repeated nervously. "We..." I looked him in the eyes, this time, able to stare at them head on without backing down, without turning away, without so much as a giggle. And with a passion that was rapidly growing beyond my control, I began to lean forward, closer to his lips, instinctively doing what my body was telling me it wanted and needed so badly. But, as I came close enough to him, Mitchie backed away from me.
"What are you doing?" he whispered "You're lying, you're making fun of me, you always deny being gay at school."
"No I'm not lying or making fun I am gay. I just don't want everyone to know just yet. As for what I'm doing well I don't know...but I can't help it anymore..." I whispered, and for the very first time in my life...I kissed somebody my age. I kissed Mitchie delicately on his lips, and I felt myself become absolutely weightless. Mitchie's breath suddenly rushed out of him as our lips lovingly moved together in a kiss that seemed to stop all time! It could have been anybody, but it was Tanner, the love of my life, and the center of my world. It was electric.
We broke the kiss, and exhaled loudly as we remembered to breathe again. We both broke out into this sleepy half cocked grin and we flopped back onto the bed, our eyes staring at the ceiling. Our young hearts were beating 100 miles a minute, and my whole body was tingling. It tickled all over, and after a few minutes of sitting there doing nothing, I reached out and held his hand. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that." I said.
"Not as long as I have, I'll bet." He replied, and it took me by surprise. I turned to look over at him, still so beautiful that it was almost painful to be close to him and not kiss him...and I leaned in for another peck on the lips. I looked into his eyes for a moment and he kissed me again, and again. Our quick pecks soon turned into a slower and passionate lip lock that blocked out every difference that we had ever had, and made us equal in every way. We began to rub and slide against one another as we made out for what seemed like an hour. I couldn't tell if we were breathing or not, and I didn't care. He was an even better kisser in real life than he was in my dreams. Oh my God his lips were honey sweet, and they made me thirsty for another kiss the second he pulled away from me. My hands ran up and down his side, his caressed my lower back as they had outside, but this time, I allowed him to go all the way down. To grab at me, and pull me into him as we lay on our sides. I heard the most adorable whimper escape his lips as we kissed, and it made me kiss him even harder. His hair would occasionally brush accross my face as we rolled over one another, not saying a single word. I thought I was going to explode.
I could feel Mitchie's hardness as he lay down on top of me, and I could feel the pressure as he pushed it forward into my own bulge. His light weight frame was covering me, and his kiss drew my senses right out of me. But below the waist, I was crying for more. I gently rolled my angel off of me, and let my kisses travel down to his soft warm neck. At first, I used my hand to steady myself by putting it on the softness of his young belly, but as the tent in his pants grew more fierce, I let it travel further downward and tenderly gave it a squeeze. Mitchie let out a high pitched whimper and used his hands to hold my head closer to his neck as I licked him there. Mitchie rolled over a bit more onto his back and moaned softly as I continued to grope and massage him through his pants. I used my free hand to lift up his sweater, exposing his two erect nips to me, and I sucked at them lovingly. The tight brown nipple got even more sensitive as I nibbled on it lightly. Mitchie ran his fingers through my hair, and as I looked up, I saw him with his eyes closed, his mouth half open as I pleasured him. So I took it a step further. It's what I had been waiting for. I was able to unzip his pants aftr a few tries, and reached inside. It was soooo hot in there. I felt around as Mitchie gasped out loud, and took a hold of the organ inside. With another few squeezes, making Mitchie squirm and wiggle uncontrollably on the bed, I brought it out of its warm hiding place. The heat was incredible, it was like this thermal wave that passed from him to me though our sensual contact, and just holding it there in my hand was enough to almost push me over the edge.
"Mmmmm....wait...Jack. Lemme take these off.." He whispered, and I let go long enough for him to remove his pants all the way. I was glued to seeing his cute teen body become more and more naked in front of me as his pants and then underwear followed. His ass was beyond explanation. I felt my dick throb just looking at it. The beautiful shape of it, the cute little tan line, and little dimples in the sides. Wow...I'm in heaven. He caught me looking and smiled.
"This isn't a one man show, cutie." He said seductively, and I stood up to take my pants off too, our shirts finding their way to the outer corners of the room, shortly after. We were completely naked with the exception of our white socks, and we met in the middle of the bed to engage in another kiss. It was a bit awkward, trying to lay back down and kiss at the same time, but we managed, and began rolling around, back and forth, all over again. Feeling his smooth flesh sliding against mine, unrestricted, our bodies became one and we began instinctively grinding into each other slowly. His silky skin felt so right, his breath on my cheek as we kissed was such an awesome sensation. I didn't ever want to stop. I switched around and lowered my head slowly, kiss after kiss down his stomach, to my prize as he waited impatiently. The aura of heat around his hardness warmed my face, his thighs wiggling in anticipation, and I kissed the tip of it delicately, reaching out my tongue in a slow lick to get a taste. Mitchie jumped at first, but then silently urged me to go further with pleading eyes. It was then that I took him into my mouth, for one long suck as far down as I could go. Mitchie was delicious, just as I knew he would be, and his flavor filled my mouth, his scent filled my nostrils...I couldn't believe I was here doing this. I couldn't believe any of this was happening!
I took the time to explore every inch of him with my probing tongue. The slightly salty piss slit, the rubbery head at the top of his stiff member, the ridge of his circumcised helmet...it was all candy to me. I let my tongue feel every vein and artery as the texture of his velvet smooth skin slid in and out of my moist lips. I rubbed my hands continuously over his thighs and reached under to grip the globes of his tempting ass tightly as he pushed his hips up into my face. Mitchie was moaning at this sexy high pitch that didn't even sound like him anymore. It sounded more like the joyful noise a five year old would make when he got a new toy! Mitchie was writhing wildly now, trying to keep his legs from moving, trying to find something to do with his hands, burying his fingers into the locks of my hair. I let my head move up and down a few times, and then I would let him push up into my warmth on his own for a few times more. Then, I felt him swivel around with his hardness still in my mouth. I didn't want to let go of it, I was salivating over it, hungry for it. But I let him get a bit more comfortable before letting my lips rise and fall on his shaft again. Then...I felt his hand reach out to gently take hold of my own hardness, his touch surprising me. I moaned in ecstasy as he began to rub his hands up and down, trying to give me back some of the pleasure that I was giving him. God it felt good! I sucked harder and it made him speed up his hand motions as his moans got increasingly louder by the second. The room was beginning to steam over as our sex reached new heights of passion. I sucked for all I was worth, my mouth bobbing up and down as though my life depended on it. And Mitchie began to lean over, trying to reach me with the ruby red splendor of his lips. He couldn't quite lean over far enough, so I slowed down for a second, and I got on top of him in a 69 position, straddling my legs around his head as he began kissing my thighs. He was eagerly trying to get a hold of me, and when I felt my inches plunge softly into the sultry insides of his warm wet mouth, I almost lost it. It was like my whole body had caught fire, and the slippery wetness of his tongue slid across the surface of my sensitive skin. It was mind blowing. I tried to concentrate on the service I was giving him before, But I couldn't. It felt too good, it was all too amazing, and while lost in a sensory overload, I felt my orgasm burn a blazing hot trail through me. I used what was left of my self control to raise up on my knees and pull out of his mouth before it was too late, and he took hold of me again as I exploded. Jet after jet of warm juices splashed across his neck and chest. I whined, cried, and purred as I used my tongue to further stimulate him. The taste of him, oh wow...the taste of him. He suddenly jerked up himself as he entered his own climax by surprise, and with a high pitched moan he sprayed into my mouth. He evidently didn't have time for a warning, and I hadn't expected it at all. It caught me off guard. I had no choice but to swallow every drop. But once the first few squirts went down ok, I greedily suckled at the rest of it as though I had been doing it all my life. And we lay tangled up in each other like that for quite a while. We couldn't move, not after that. Our bodies were spent, every muscle relaxed, our heads still spinning in the throws of orgasmic bliss. I climbed back up into Mitchie's loving arms, and we both squirmed together, not being able to find a spot comfortable enough to rest in while our bodies became more sensitive to touch than they ever had before. It was like every nerve ending had been magnified 100 times and was just waiting for someone to touch it so it could set us off again. But...at last, our teen bodies relaxed and our breath came back to us.
Mitchie looked over at me passionately as I lay next to him. We both were side by side, completely naked on top of the covers. He kissed me on the cheek giggled playfully. "So...what now?" He asked.
"I don't know. I don't care either...as long as we get to do that again, and soon" I answered.
"And again....?"
"And again!"
"And again." We laughed, and kissed again, our tongues intertwined naturally, as we made a very unheard of revelation. Well...unheard of to us anyway. I think this means....I have a boyfriend! Shit! What are the odds?
We laid like that for a while, his head leaning comfortably on my shoulder the way it had been on the bus that one fateful morning. I could still smell traces of the sweet strawberry shampoo on his hair and kissed his head as he ran his hands in small circles over my chest. Did this just happen? Is this even possible? I don't know for sure. I'm still scared that I'm going to wake up all of the sudden and have to change the sheets on my bed. Some things are too good to be true. But I do know one thing. For the first time ever...I felt rich. I had it all, everything I needed to survive...lying right here next to me, touching me, loving me. I kissed him again and he returned the favor. We continued to peck, grope, stroke, and kiss each other until it was time for Mitchie to go home. Bobby would probably be a little....um...catatonic, if he came home and caught us like this all of the sudden. So we searched for our clothes, and I watched him get dressed again, kissing his shoulder delicately as he pulled his pants up. I so wished he could stay I walked him to the door, and said, "Well?"
"Well?" He repeated, and we looked at each other with big bashful grins on our faces. "Hehehe, I guess this is the weird part, huh?"
"Yeah, maybe. But know I want to see you again though."
Mitchie leaned forward a bit, and his hair fell into his eyes like it always did. "Me too." He moved up and kissed me sweetly on the cheek. Ad then he leaned to my ear and he whispered the words "I love you, Jack." in my ear. Every word I would ever hear after that day just wouldn't compare.
"I love you too..." I said, and we kissed again softly before he adjusted himself and left. There was no doubt about it, I was in love, stuck in love...forever. And I've never been so happy to be so out of control.
