Disclaimer: Dude, if I actually owned any of these series do you think I'd be writing stories I don't get paid for? Whatever.

Author's Note: Been a while, sorry. I'm working on the next chapter as you read this so it will published much sooner than this one. And it's got an honest to goodness fight in it! Bring the pain!

There are going to be some format changes to improve the look of the chapters from now. Honestly, you probably won't notice, but I thought I should say something.


Chapter Nine: It's My Party And I'll Spy If I Want To


Danny Phantom ducked his head as a purple ecto-beam barely missed removing his ear and fired back with a short green beam out of his palm. The shadowy figure that was assaulting him batted away his counter-attack with a flick of its wrist and attacked again, this time the ecto-beam catching the halfa in the gut and knocking him out of the air with a yelp of pain.

He landed hard and rolled to a crouching position on the dark ground, one hand on the ground and the other glowing with ecto-energy. He fired at his attacker's feet only to see his target float above the attack, barely dodging the counter-attack with another roll before taking flight and rising to his opponent's level.

"Very good, Daniel," the figure said. "You've come so far in so little time, any father would be proud to call you 'son'."

"I'm not your son!" Danny said defiantly, even though his opponent hadn't implied that he was.

The figure laughed loudly and malevolently, white canines flashing in the shadows of his face. "Are you so sure, little badger? Who's taught you more, Jack Fenton or I? A father must challenge his children to grow and if I'm anything to you, it's a challenge."

"Shut up!" Danny shouted, bringing his hands together for a double-blast of ectoplasm-only to see his normal human hands instead of the white gloves Danny Phantom possessed. He looked down and saw his regular self seconds before he fell to the hard ground with a yelp of surprise.

He tried to rise to his feet but his body felt like it weighed several tons, barely managing to prop himself up on his arms. The figure landed in front of him and bent over, grabbing Danny by the front of his white T-shirt and lifting him easily into the air. He brought Danny's face close to his; his blue skin, red eyes, pointed ears and V-shaped black hair were that of Vlad Plasmius, Danny's most persistent enemy. "You'll always be twenty years behind me, Daniel, until you realize that although Jack is your human father, I am the only one who understands what you've become. We are freaks to the world, child, they would never understand. I know what it's like to be alone... and so do you."

Vlad flung Danny away from him and the young halfa fell into nothingness, the only light that of Vlad's white cape and suit as he fell forever, the darkness calling his name, Danny, Danny...


"Danny. Danny, wake up, man!"

Danny awoke with a snort, knocking Tucker's arm away clumsily and nearly falling off of Will's couch. It was just a dream, he realized. Just a dream... with parts that were all too real. "You okay?" a concerned Tucker asked. "You nodded off there and it looked like you were having a nightmare."

Danny rubbed his eyes, trying to rejoin the land of the living and achieving partial success. "I... yeah. I'm good. Must have been more tired than I thought."

"Was it a bad one?" Hay Lin's voice asked with earnest concern. Danny winced when he realized the rest of the kids had arrived, along with a new guy with a guitar he realized was likely Matt Olsen, Will's boyfriend. Will herself was looking at him with the same expression he'd worn after she had fainted at the Dragon.

Danny held up his hands and smiled sheepishly. "It's no big deal. I... I was dreaming I was doing English make-up work all summer. Staring at Mr. Lancer will give anyone nightmares." The kids chuckled at that even though they'd never seen Lancer before.

"I made Professor Collins promise not to give us any summer homework," Will said, pointing at Dean.

"Oh... well, history's okay, I like history. The only thing I really hate is math, I mean..."

"When are we ever going to need that stuff?" Danny and Will said together, then stared at each other in surprise before grinning.

"Wow, echo!" Tucker said. "The anti-math sentiment is heavy in this apartment. If you're ever going to be an astronaut, Danny, you're going to need better grades in the M's."

"This is just getting weird," an amused Will said. "Not only do we both hate math, but June wants to be an astronaut, too."

"Seriously?" Danny asked June, who seemed annoyed that she and Fenton had this dream in common. "Do you want to be a shuttle pilot or do space walks?"

"Either one's fine with me," June stated. "So long as I can get off this planet and get some perspective. Maybe we'll be on the same mission, ya think?"

Danny felt a little bad since he had already reached outer space while battling one of his ghostly rogues; sometimes the superhero gig had its benefits. "Maybe we will. Heck, maybe Dad could build us a shuttle when he's got some free time. I test out all my family's equipment, anyway." He held up the Fenton Recorder for emphasis, then used it's camera function to take an impromptu group picture of the kids.

"No!" Gwen yelped, clutching her head like it was about to explode. "My hair!" Hay Lin's artificial breeze in the park had blown it asunder again and after her innocent observation Gwen was worried she further resembled Ben and his messy mop-top.

There was a quiet beep and the Omnitrix turned green again, causing Danny and Tucker to give Ben curious looks. "It's a... it's a timer! Sumo Slammers is on, but it's probably a re-run," Ben added, not wanting to watch cartoons in front of Will. That would be so baby-ish...

"I love that show!" Matt said. "Do you collect the cards? My band mates and I have been looking for a gold one..." Ben's jaw dropped as he realized Will's supposedly cool boyfriend shared one of his obsessions.

"This is Matt," Will said to Danny and Tucker. "Matt, this is Danny and Tucker. Danny caught me when I had a dizzy spell at the restaurant and fell, so he's my hero for today."

"After I think I caused it," Danny quickly added. "Will might be allergic to the chemicals my parents use, my whole house is a lab. Literally."

"No harm, no foul," Matt said as he shook hands with Danny. "Just as long as Will didn't get hurt I don't mind who does the catching. Hay Lin said you knew Danny Phantom, the Ghost Boy?"

"Not personally." Danny's eye twitched again. "And he doesn't like being called the Ghost Boy, he's our age after all." That particular misnomer was starting to wear on Danny, so instead he suggested, "A lot of us are calling him the Spirit of Justice since he's Amity Park's protector."

"Sweet! That would make a good song title. I know Will's obsessed with him..."

"Am not!"

"...so maybe I'll write a song about him. I've always been a fan of Static from Dakota City, but Phantom's pretty cool, too. Flying is... awesome." Jake and Ben nodded to themselves in agreement. "I mean, it would be an awesome power to have!"

"There's a lot of teen superheroes these days," Hay Lin said. "My favorite is the Spider-Man from New York-though he looks a little young to be a Spider-Man. Have you ever seen him, Jake?"

"Uh... yeah, a little," Jake said. "Sometimes." The American Dragon hated not being totally honest with Hay; Spidey was actually a friend of his and had helped Jake during a major crisis last spring. Oh, man... if Hay Lin didn't love him now, what would she do if he got her an autograph from Spider-Man?

"I like those alien heroes," Ben said with a wide grin. "They're really cool!" Gwen rolled her eyes; Ben's many alien forms each had a reputation for heroics and her cousin never tired of the acclaim.

"It sounds weird," Tucker began, "But my favorite superhero is Static's sidekick Gear. That guy has some sweet... uh, gear. I tried to make his rocket boots, but... I kinda made a new skylight for my house instead." June and Matt began to set up their amps as the kids discussed their favorite young superheros.

"I know they're not teens anymore, but the Titans are really cool," Hay Lin said. "They were around before the Justice League and there's so many of them! Nightwing, Cyborg, Beast Boy... I love Beast Boy, he's so funny!"

"Sam likes Raven," Danny said. "That girl with the purple hood? Says she's 'Goth incarnate.'"

"I prefer Starfire myself," Tucker added with a smirk. "Much better costume."

"NYC's loaded with superheroes," Jake mused. "Besides Spidey we got the Fantastic Four, Iron Man, the Justice Force... hey, where's your girl, Danny?"

It took Danny a moment to realize who Jake meant. "Sam? She's in the, ah, she's fixing her make-up. Or whatever Goths do in the bathroom."

"Probably scowling at the mirror," Tucker suggested. "Trying to show that right amount of canine."

June did a few practice cords on her guitar, impressing those who hadn't heard her before. "Nice," Matt said appreciably. "You've got some skill."

"Thanks," June said. "But I can't write lyrics to save my life. Hey, Ben, want to give my guitar a try?"

"Uh... okay." Ben took June's instrument and sat on the couch next to Danny. He was able to play a few notes (Ben hoped no one realized that it was "The Itsy Bitsy Spider") but it was painfully apparent that he was far behind June in skill. Ben winced as he finished. "I'm, uhm, not that good... my dad teaches me sometimes. You're way better than me."

"I get a lot of practice with my brothers," June said. "Don't be too hard on yourself, that never helps you get any better. Here, you hold your fingers like this..."


"Mother-frikkin'... should just shave my head," Sam muttered in the Vandoms' bathroom as she criticized her reflection. After days of being held in her signature pony-tail her hair had become nearly unmanageable; finally, she just yanked out her purple scrunchie and let it all hang down. Her unruly black locks gave her the appearance of a wild animal in human form, the goth thought, or maybe a deranged killer from one of her beloved horror movies. Nice, Sam thought.

Straightening her hair out a little so as to not frighten the others Sam opened the door to the bathroom and nearly ran into a really cute boy with hair as wild as hers, his fist raised to knock on the door. "Sam, right?" the boy asked. "I'm Matt. We're just about ready to eat. Hungry?"

"Ahhhhh..." Sam felt like she had been asked a Jeopardy-level question. Wait, what was the answer again? "Hungry... yes, yes I am." I don't think that was the right answer...

"Cool hair," Matt said in an aside. "Will said you were the girl with the ponytail..." He rolled his eyes. "Like there's that many girls in her bathroom."

Sam giggled like... like a girl, shocking herself. She never giggled like that. Ever. "If there is anyone in there, they're hid pretty well. So..." Sam, who always had a quip ready, had to struggle to find a topic to continue the conversation. "You're in a band, right?"

"Why? You looking to be a groupie?" Matt teased.

Sam made a very rude sound. "Hey! Sam Manson is no groupie, pal. Though if you're looking for a manager I'm good at bossing people around. Just ask Danny and Tucker."

"Yeah, I met them just now. Danny's Will's favorite because he caught her when she fell; I'm glad he did, but I'm a little jealous."

Jealous of Danny? Sam thought. Weird, but... well, I guess I can see that. "Yeah, well, don't worry about it. Danny likes to play the hero." The two teens re-entered the living room; Will and Gwen were setting up a portable table to accommodate the extra mouths. Danny looked at Sam and did a double-take, then grinned and held the Fenton Recorder up to take a picture of his female friend. "Hey, what's with the photo op?"

"Your hair looks cool like that, Sam," Danny admitted.

Sam's pale cheeks blushed lightly at the innocent compliment; likely Danny hadn't thought anything about saying it, but for Sam it had more of an impact than her friend would have suspected. It was a more or less a secret that the two felt the beginnings of a crush between them (Tucker had flat-out stated it to Sam at one point in his typically blunt manner) but neither wanted to make anything resembling a move in that direction. They-Danny, Tucker and Sam-were a tight-nit group even before they became Team Phantom and, to be perfectly honest, none of them had any close friends besides the other two.

Part of it was their social outcast status at Casper High-a status ironically shared by eighty percent of the student body with the jocks and drama queens making up the minority-and part of it was their ghost-hunting escapades which made it difficult to meet new people-that weren't ghosts trying to kill them, of course.

She and Danny had dated other people but the relationships ended rather badly: Danny's troubles with the slightly crazed Valerie Gray and Sam's own fiasco with a poser. At the end of the day they always came back to the group to gripe and bemoan their troubles. Maybe that was why they were still "just friends", because they were the only people they could count on to just be there. Sam ruefully thought that the only thing that could push them to make a move toward a relationship would be a deadly asteroid heading toward the planet; Cue that Titanic song, she thought, but only if it's done by Rob Zombie!

Boys weren't the immediate issue on Sam's mind, though; she watched Hay Lin and Will interact out of the corner of her eye as they set the table with Chinese food and marveled at the concept of girl friends. Sam had done a mental shrug when she found out that W.I.T.C.H. was doing a group thing since girls-except for Sam and maybe Trixie-seemed to stick together like pack animals. Normally Sam could barely muster contempt for the denial of individualism (seriously, an acronym? For crying out loud...) but this didn't seem to be the case for the five girls.

They were nothing if not individuals, each so distinct it was hard to see any of the overlapping traits that accompanied girl-packs like "Ohmigod! I love pink Mary Janes, too!" Each had their defined roles, sure, but they seemed genuinely fond of each other. It was... kind of cool to see girls like that. Most of the ones at Casper High were either hyenas, laughing at an insanely high pitch as they ridiculed others and devouring doomed freaks and geeks with their ravenous critique, or the prey of the hyenas. Sam had her own distinct place on the food chain, a dark-haired raven pecking at the hyena's head with her sharp sarcasm.

Maybe it was all the negative energy ghosts brought over from the Ghost Zone that made Paulina and her ilk so inherently nasty; Sam couldn't say for sure. Most likely it was lax parenting and spoiled daughters. Whatever the case, Sam felt like she had stepped into another plane of existence (been there, done that) into this Heatherfield where people were... people.

Sam told herself to be careful. Next thing she knew, W.I.T.C.H. would be dragging her to a day spa for those advertised "rejuvenation treatments." And... petticures. The thought of someone touching her feet was enough to send shivers down her spine that no inhuman monstrosity could hope to elicit. Except maybe for Danny, who gave really good foot rubs.

June's last few chords were accompanied by a growling of her stomach. "Man... sorry to end the sound check, but I need to down a few more egg rolls. Worked up an appetite carrying all those platters at the Dragon."

"I had some nachos at rehearsal," Matt said as he threw his guitar strap over his head. "I'll strum a little while you guys are eating, a little dinner music with your food."

"Maybe Will can feed you while you're playing?" Hay Lin said. "It's so cute when she does that." Matt blushed as Will smirked at the giggles that followed Hay Lin's suggestion. Despite only eating a few hours ago everyone dug into their food, growing appetites aided by their various labors. Ray Ray had gotten hold of the Fenton Recorder and was filming everyone eating like it was wildlife documentary; June batted him away as he tried to get a close-up on her mouth as she chewed.

Will was staring deeply at Matt when Hay Lin nudged her elbow. "Hey, Will? Let's go to your room for a sec. I got something to tell you." Hay Lin looked side to side to see if anyone was looking at them, then added, "It's a G-U-A-R..."

"I get it," Will said, miffed she couldn't continue Matt-watching. "Be back in a minute, guys." The two Guardians went to Will's bedroom and closed the door.

Over the next few minutes Hay Lin gave a hurried, somewhat confusing account of what had happened in the Silver Dragon's basement; Will tried to keep up with all the transformations and revelations. "So the bottom line is," Will summed up for the Air Guardian, "they know who we are and they're good."

"Basically! Jake is this cool dragon-person-hybid thing-y and Ben's all these aliens..."

"Okay, okay! I get it," Will said, unable to keep from smiling at Hay Lin's excitement. The idea of dragons and aliens being in her house for the summer must have been heaven for the science fiction fangirl. "Let's head back before anyone starts to wonder." Will was about to open the door to her bedroom when someone knocked from the other side; she opened it to find June, Gwen and Ben standing there looking excited about something. "What's up, guys?"

"We have an idea," June said as she hustled Ben and Gwen into the room. "Ben was telling us about his aliens and one of them would be perfect for spying on Fenton."

"Spying on... June..." Will groused.

"Hey, we can't be too careful, right? If I'm wrong, no big deal. If I'm right... it's still no big deal."

"So, the only reason we're going to do this is because your curiosity is killing you and you have to know?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!" June said in exasperation. Will and Gwen laughed at June's admission while Ben tried not to freak out at being in a girl's room-Will's room to boot. Will, who was pretty but not all girly to the extreme like most girls; she was a superhero, too, and that was really cool. Ben hoped she'd be impressed with the Omnitrix-and by extension, Ben. It was too bad the first alien hero she'd see would be his wimpiest. But, judging from all the frog stuff Will had in her room, maybe she'd like Grey Matter since the little alien looked like a toad in a space-suit.

"Here's the deal," June continued. "We're going to get Fenton and his friends alone and send Ben in as his smallest alien to listen in, but before that we're going to start another Danny Phantom discussion-maybe drop a few hints that Danny kinda looks like him. I'm going to fake a..." She looked over at Ben apologetically. "A feminine problem and you girls are going to help me. Matt and Ben are going to pretend to head for the store for snacks and go to the roof; Matt will lower Ben down to your living room window. Jake and his crew will be doing dishes, leaving our targets..."

"'Targets'..." Will laughed at June's annoyed look. "Please continue, Ms. Bond."

"Leaving Fenton and friends alone so Ben can listen in. Okay?"

Will sighed heavily. "Fine. Let's just get this over with and out of your system. Good luck, Ben, and be careful." Will could have asked any of her electrical appliances to spy on Danny for her, but June and the other kids seemed to be enjoying playing Mission: Impossible; who was she to ruin their fun?

Ben tried to laugh confidently, only to end up sounding slightly demented instead. "Hey, I'm so good I don't need luck!" He tried to leave Will's room and walked into the door when it failed to open. "Oh... ha, it swings in. My bad." Ben beat a hasty retreat to the living room.

Gwen tried not to smirk as she said, "He has his good days and bad."

"Is there something wrong with him?" Will asked worriedly.

"He has a terminal case of extreme dorkiness."

Will looked at June for a better answer. "You don't have brothers," June stated. "You wouldn't understand what it's like to deal with a male you're not dating on a regular basis."

"Think again," Will said. "You're forgetting Caleb. And Blunk, kinda."

"Can't forget Caleb, Red!" June said with a lusty chortle that sounded kind of eerie coming from an eleven year-old. "I am so jealous of you guys now; all I have is Ray Ray and the pug!"

"Hello?" Gwen added. "I'm even worse off than you! Ben can be the brattiest, the dumbest, the nastiest..."

"You must love him a lot," Will observed.

"What?!" Gwen yelped. "No way!"

"The more people fight, the more they care about each other," Will said, then remembered her parents and added, "Usually. Cornelia and Caleb fight all the time, but they always come back to each other. You can tell you guys are related when you're yelling at each other, it's like stereo!"

"Ben and I are nothing alike!" Gwen declared as she started to open the door. "Not even a little bit." Gwen frowned when the door wouldn't open, then flushed when she realized her mistake. "It opens inward, okay..." When she was gone June and Will exchanged wry glances.

"Denial..." Will began.

"It ain't just a river," June finished.


Tucker wondered if he could get girls to stare at him like Matt could when he played his guitar. Playing an instrument didn't seem all that different than hacking a computer; both required concentration, a sense of timing and dexterous fingers, all of which Tucker possessed. The one skill Matt had that Tucker lacked-according to Danny and Sam-was a singing voice that didn't constitute air pollution, though Tucker himself thought himself to be a half-way decent vocalist.

Denial wasn't just something Gwen Tennyson indulged in, of course.

Tucker was surfing the net on his PDA for cheap guitar lessons when Will and June rejoined them. While not exactly the bombshell Tucker had envisioned (and hoped for) Will was still pretty cute and seemed fairly nice-a rare combination in Tuck's experience with the opposite sex. And of course she had a boyfriend due to those traits; that was not rare in Tuck's experience.

Tucker was comparing prices on used guitars when a blast of static flashed across the PDA's screen. Tucker raised an eyebrow but was not terribly surprised; ever since the ghost scientist Technus has hidden in his personal assistant it was prone to strange glitches and malfunctions caused by the saturation of ectoplasm in the circuitry. His limited allowance (and almost pathological need for other electronic devices) prevented him from purchasing another one, so Tucker had shrugged it off and took the device's quirks in stride. It was sometimes beneficial as a warning device whenever Technus was in the area and Tucker had enough affection for the device to dub it "Baby" because of his heavy reliance on the device.

While Tucker was running a diagnostic program on Baby, Will was also acutely aware of the PDA for a different reason. Her Guardian powers allowed her to converse with electrical appliances beside the ones she owned and Tucker's PDA was, to her dismay, calling her out.

"I see you there, huzzy!" Baby hissed through electromagnetic fields unknown to regular people. "Trying to catch my man's eye! You best step back, or I'll bust you one like you wouldn't believe!"

Will wasn't the only one forced to endure Baby's rant; Hay Lin, Matt, June, Jake, Gwen and Ray Ray were hearing the PDA as well, Hay Lin and Gwen looking uncomfortable while June and Ray Ray were trying not to laugh. Yan Lin had warned her students about Will's ability and urged them not to react. Unseen by the magically endowed kids, Danny was frowning and cleaning out his ears with his pinkies, trying to figure out where the faint voice of the irate woman was coming from.

Hoping to mollify Baby's possessiveness, Will sat next to Matt and gave him a kiss on the cheek that immediately threw off his playing; Baby's final huff was lost in laughter as Matt made a wince-worthy chord when he fumbled his fingers. "You're killing his music career with your feminine wiles!" June joked, causing everyone to laugh even more except for a doubly-miffed Ben.

Spud was in the process of trying to replicate the Taj Mahal with his food-and having surprising success, the carrot sticks making excellent turrets-when he noticed Tucker rapidly punching his PDA with his stylus. Spud ate his monument to a monument in three bites and sat next to Tucker. "Having problem with the little lady, dude?"

Tucker grimaced as he nodded. "I think all the ghost disturbances in Amity Park have finally pushed Baby over the point of no return. I'm getting some crazy static for some reason; I don't think it's the LCD screen..."

"Self-diagnostic not helping?" Tucker shook his head. "Here, let my bad boy dance with your lady." Spud whipped out his Stacy-Tracking PDA with a flourish. "I designed a program that uses Wi-Fi to check up on and diagnose my other equipment. Should be a piece of cake to interface with yours and see what's all willy-nilly inside the filly!"

"You sure, man?" Tucker asked warily. "I don't want to burn out your drive with a glitch."

"No worries! I back up everything hourly to my laptop. Now, open wide, Baby!" Spud used the wireless connections of the PDAs to begin the examination. Almost immediately, Will and the other magically inclined people were assaulted with the sound of the two digital assistants' verbal battle.

"Hey there, sweetness!" the Stacy Tracker said to baby. "You need a little TLC from Marco?"

"Keep your dirty file folders to your self!" Baby retorted. "We both know that red-headed tart over there-" Will's eye twitched at the slander. "-is the cause of my upsets! You just do what you gotta do and stay out of my hidden files!"

"Ah, come on now, Baby," Marco crooned. "Let me do a little defrag on your bits to calm you down..."

"You stay the HELL away from my bits, you son of..." Baby launched into an obscene tirade that had Ray Ray rolling on the floor laughing while Gwen and Hay Lin blushed fiercely. Danny wondered if his ghost powers had somehow corrupted his hearing as he discreetly covered his ears.

"Hate to say it," Tucker said as Baby's screen dissolved into angry static, "but I think it's getting worse." Will decided enough was enough and reached out with her powers to turn Baby off. "Huh? Maybe it's better that I leave it for now. Next time I see Technus I'm going to have him fix Baby before he tries to take over the world again."

"It must be rough with all those ghosts in your hometown," June said as she began her plan. "Danny Phantom must be pretty busy taking care of them."

You have no idea, Danny thought as he scratched Fu Dog's ears; he'd always wanted a dog, but it wasn't very safe for small animals-or teenagers, come to think of it-around FentonWorks. "Well, there haven't been as many problems lately. I think the ghosts know now they can't handle Phantom." Sam and Tucker rolled their eyes, but secretly conceded that Danny had really come along in his abilities since the accident.

"I love Danny's white hair!" Gwen intoned as her part in the scheme; the normally well-behaved girl found himself enjoying the subterfuge. "And he's so tough, even tougher than those alien heroes!" Gwen smirked when Ben stuck his tongue out at her.

"He's almost as cute as Eric," Hay Lin said, adding her part to the plan. "That's why it was weird when I saw you, Danny, it was like we had already met before. I'm almost as big a fan as Will-well, not that big!" Will rolled her eyes and elbowed Matt when he snickered at her.

"Uh..." Danny wasn't sure what to say; the conversation was drifting dangerously close to the similarities between himself and his alter-ego. "Yeah, people have pointed that out to me a few times, but..." What was the excuse Sam came up with? "Well, Sam thinks it's kind of a joke. Lots of ghosts can change their shape, so we figure "Danny" Phantom has some weird sense of humor to disguise himself as the son of ghost hunters. I met him once at a fair and it was kinda weird, him and me face-to-face."

Even as June's plan was being set in motion, Team Phantom was enacting their own counter-plan. After their lunch at the Silver Dragon Danny and his friends had concocted a contingency in case the others made any more connections; Tucker was able to get Baby back on (the PDA now much more respectful of Will) and show everyone a picture of Danny standing next to Danny Phantom. In reality it was actually Danny's two halves-human and ghost-that were split by one of his parents' inventions.

"There is a strong resemblance," Will admitted. "If it wasn't for this picture, you would think that you were the same guy, Danny." Her eyes darted to June for a split-second, the Te Xuan Ze still not looking convinced since Danny was best friends with an audio-visual geek.

Sam snorted. "Danny, a superhero? Right, and I'm head cheerleader for Casper High." Danny shot an honestly hurt expression at Sam before he realized she was trying to help, albeit by slightly slandering him.

"Really?" Hay Lin said. "Oh, wait... sarcasm. Sorry. I'm sure you'd make a great cheer-person, Sam." Sam mimicked tearing out her own heart at the thought of being in a cheer squad.

"I was in that world for a time," Trixie groused. "It's like the dang Mafia, they suck you in, mess with your head like the Manchurian Candidate..." She paused. "I rocked the uniform, though. Rocked it but good."

"I'd like to see some pictures of that," Tucker said in the most honest statement of his entire life.

June was getting ready to do her big scene-the sudden onset of her "feminine" problem-when a sudden pain made her wince. Trying to identify the source of the pain, June's eyes widened when she realized where it was coming from. Her surprise and shock were doubled when she saw Gwen looking at her with equally wide eyes. Both pre-teens rose and stood tightly as they tried to figure out what to do. Will and Hay Lin looked at them with bewildered expression while Maddie Fenton happened to look into the living room. The more observant of the Fenton parents, she recognized what was going on from when Jazz was younger and rose from the table quickly.

"Something up, buttercup?" Jack said as he noticed his wife's worried look.

"Uhm..." Maddie bit her lip as she tried to figure out a way through one of her husband's rare moments of clarity.. "Yes... I need to visit the little scientist's room. Be back in a min-"

"Is something wrong with the girls?" Dean asked the other adults. Years of teaching had trained Dean to always keep an eye on the children nearby, both for his safety and theirs.

Maddie's impressive intellect searched for a way to spare the young girls-young women, she supposed-further embarrassment. "Uhm, Sue? Didn't you say your oven was acting up?"

Susan looked confused at the sudden attention, then looked at June and remembered a particular episode from Will's life. Realizing what was happening, Susan thought quickly and said, "Um, Jack, Dean? I hate to ask this, but since you two are here, I wonder if you could take a look at my... stove! It's been acting... funny lately." Susan tried to put on her best "damsel in distress" face and nearly gagged at the attempt.

Dean looked doubtful that he could do anything about Susan's stove while Jack was always eager to repair something he didn't break; Susan mouthed, "Bathroom" at Maddie when the men weren't looking. Maddie sent her a grateful look as she hurried into the living room, took Gwen and June gently by the shoulders and steered them towards the Vandoms' facilities.

Will and Hay Lin were still confused as to what was happening until Sam said to them, "Looks like we've got two more members in the Time of the Month Club."

"Oh!" Will winced. "I didn't even think... when that happened to me it was the middle of the night and I screamed so loud I woke up Mom." Will looked toward the bathroom and felt she should do something; after all, June was her friend and a guest in her home. Will saw Matt and Ben getting ready to leave the apartment and realized they had taken June's unintentional cue as a sign to head for the roof.

"My grandma helped me when it was my time," Hay Lin recollected. "She's always been there for me."

"Mine, too," Sam said, then laughed. "You guys were lucky! The only people who were around when I went menstrual were Danny and Tucker! They were so freaked they wouldn't speak to me for hours!"

"I never even told Spud and Jakey," Trixie added. "I figured they was some things Man was not meant to know, y'know? Hey, Spud, you want to help me with the dishes?"

"Not really," Spud said, then changed his mind when Trixie glared at him. "Uhm, yeah, sure. I could use the practice; I've been trying to break my record of thirty plates per minute."

"So long as you don't break any of Miss V's plates," Trixie warned. The two New Yorkers gathered up the empty plates and headed to the kitchen, playing their part in the plan to figure out if Fenton was Phantom. Will and Hay Lin's part was supposed to have been pretending to check up on the "ailing" June; Will was relieved that this was now something she wanted to do anyway and quickly excused herself and Hay Lin to check up on the younger girls. Sam considered joining them-feminine solidarity and all that-but figured the two preteens wouldn't appreciate a complete stranger bothering them at this point.

"Both at the same time... what are the odds?" Sam asked herself.

"You say something, Sam?" Danny asked as he wondered where everyone had gone to.

"Forget it," Sam said as she scratched Fu Dog's ears. Fu Dog got up and yawned, then went into the kitchen to see if he could get any scraps before the dishes were washed. "Men-even if they're dogs, they always leave when they're done with you."

Before Danny could leap to the defense of his gender a voice next to him said, "Ain't that the truth! My dad is a total A-hole, right Danny?"

Danny's eyes widened. "Danielle! What are you doing here?"

"Sorry," Dani's disembodied voice said; the younger halfa was invisible and floating next to her DNA donor. "I got bored. I saw you guys go into this building and thought I'd check in. Did you know the woman below this apartment has dozens of cats? That can't be healthy. Oh, hey, Tucker, Sam. How's it hanging?"

"It's going good," Tucker said. "I heard you kept freezing Danny this afternoon?"

"Total accident!" Dani defended. "I've got the hang of my freezing now-more or less. I didn't want to turn Danny into a Fenton-sicle!"

"Don't worry about it, kid," Sam said. "As many times as we've been on the receiving end of Danny's power practices it's about time he got some karmic payback."

Danny was about to protest again when Dani cut him off again. "Yes! Sumo Slammers is on! Turn it up!" Danny found the Vandom's remote and obliged his cloned cousin. "It's a new episode, sweet!" A small indention formed on the couch cushion next to Danny, the only visible evidence that Danielle was becoming a couch potato.

Danny knew it was risky for Danielle to be in Will's apartment, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her to leave; she had a difficult life and he didn't have the heart to deny her a simple pleasure like watching a cartoon. "Just try to keep it down," he told Danielle. "We'll be in the kitchen, okay?"

"Sure thing!" Dani whispered. Danny, Tuck and Sam took their plates into the kitchen to wash them. "I'm a ghost, right? I'm all about the stealth!"


On the roof of Will's apartment building Matt and Ben were looking over the small concrete safety wall several floors above the Vandoms' apartment. "There's Will's window right there," Matt said. "I know because it's got that dead plant on it she always forgets to water." Matt looked at the extension cord in his hand. "Are you sure you want to climb down this? It looks way too small..."

A green flash of light caused Matt to jump a foot in the air and a second later Grey Matter leapt onto the edge of the roof. "I know," Grey Matter said at Matt's surprised look. "I'm awesome." Matt lowered the extension cord to the window and the tiny alien began to slide down; thought the alien Galvan could have used its sticky hands and feet to climb the wallon its own, the cord allowed it to move quickly and and within a few seconds Ben was outside the window.

"Now to show Mr. Rock Star how a real hero does it!" Grey Matter crowed silently as he hopped onto the window seal and scanned the living room. "What?! Where is everyone, I-"His spying mission already thwarted, Grey Matter caught sight of the television. "The new episode! Sweet! Since I'm already here..." The tiny alien leapt onto the arm of the couch and sat with fists clenched in excitement as the animated warriors clashed onscreen, as oblivious to Dani's presence on the couch as she was to his.

A few minutes of animated anarchy passed before the show cut to the sponsors who wanted to sell toys and gadgets to Sumo Slammers' demographic. "Stupid commercials!" Dani muttered. "Like I could buy any of that stuff!"

"I know!" Grey Matter sympathized. "I'm too old for those things anyway... except maybe for excellent air pressure-powered water projectile launcher." Deep within Grey Matter's intellect Ben was picturing himself firing the water gun he had seen at Gwen.

"It is very cool," Dani agreed. Alien and ghost girl stared at the TV for several seconds before their eyes widened and they looked at each other. Dani saw the small humanoid sitting next to her while Grey Matter's alien eyes perceived enough of Dani to thoroughly freak him out. "Yikes!" Dani flew from her seat and hovered near the ceiling.

"Yow!" Grey Matter leapt back the window. "Who are you?!"

Before Dani could answer June, Gwen and Maddie came back into the living room. The two girls were feeling better and thought that their "diversion" turning real was pretty funny in a trenches-humor sort of way. "Thanks a bunch, Mrs. Fenton," June said with more gratitude than she had ever felt to another human being. "Really"

"Yeah," Gwen agreed shakily; it had taken all of her will power to keep her magical aura from activating and the effort had exhausted the young Tennyson.

"Don't mention it, girls," Maddie said as she rubbed Gwen's back, a gesture she had done with her own children when they were upset. "I know it must be difficult to be so far from your mothers at a time like this, but you two handled it really well."

"Well, I am a Tennyson," Gwen groused. "We're pretty good at handling the unexpected."

Maddie smiled at the statement. "I know what you mean, dear... I need to check on something, will you girls be okay?" June and Gwen nodded and Maddie went back into the kitchen.

"I'm so embarrassed!" Gwen groused. "For this to happen here..."

"But it was a great distraction," June said with a smirk. "Sure as heck distracted me!"

"Yeah, I... Ben?" Gwen had spotted her cousin hiding behind the potted plant on the open window. "Aren't you supposed to be..."

"The couch!" Grey Matter hissed at the girls.

Gwen glanced at the apparently empty furniture. "What about it?"

"It's... it's alive!"

"Wow," Gwen said in awe. "You have finally lost your mind, haven't you?"

"I'm serious! I was sitting there watching TV when it spoke to me!" Dani realized this was probably a good time to be somewhere else, but she didn't want to leave her cousin with the strange creature and almost-as-strange girls.

June walked over to the couch and inspected it thoroughly, having learned to expect any and everything when she became Te Xuan Ze. "Doesn't look enchanted," June said, waving her leather wristband along the seat of the couch; the pink jewel in the band didn't react, strongly indicating Will's couch wasn't magical in the slightest. "Maybe it was a minor spirit or ..."

"GHOST!" Grey Matter cried, pointing at Danielle. June and Gwen looked at where he was pointing but saw nothing; Dani was seriously beginning to consider vacating the premises when she caught sight of a dark shape behind Grey Matter. "Look out!" Dani cried, but only confused the other kids with her disembodied voice.

Grey Matter was still staring at Dani when the powerful talons wrapped around his minuscule frame and yanked him from the window. Ben gave a pitiful shriek as the owl flew away with it's first catch of the night. Gwen and June ran to the window while Danielle phased through the walls to pursue the bird; whatever the little creature was, it was a Sumo Slammers fan and Dani Phantom couldn't stand by while a fellow enthusiast was in danger.

"Ben..." Gwen said, trying to keep from yelling out her cousin's name. The owl was too far away for her magic spells and she was too tired to try anything without endangering everyone in the apartment; Gwen felt more powerless than she had when facing Vilgax.

"I'm on it!" June bounded onto the window sill and perched with unnatural ease. She sighted the owl and the direction it was taking the transformed Tennyson. then pushed off against the building and went soaring across the street, raven hair flying behind her like dark wings. A stunned Gwen watched as June cleared the distance to a smaller building across from Will's and landed on the roof, then took to running and jumping from roof-top to roof-top in pursuit of the bird of prey.

Gwen was still staring out the window when Monroe walked into the living room and asked, "Oy, Gwendolyn, have you seen June?" Gwen stared at the pug, then pointed at the window. "Ach, that's predictable as the sunrise. Thanks, Lass." Monroe went back into the kitchen to see of the Fenton man would share anymore of his food, leaving Gwen to wonder if she would see her stupid cousin again.


Author's Note: Jake knows Spidey? How is that possible? All will be explained in Both Sides of the Horizon, an AmDrag-centered NTY fic set in New York. Matt's line about Static is a little in-joke about him and Richard "Gear" Foley from Static Shock sharing Jason Marsden as a voice actor. First time I heard Matt speak: "Richie?"

Seriously, who wouldn't want Rob Zombie to do a cover version of "My Heart Will Go On?"

Just thought I'd give the ages of the various characters for reference. These are guess-timates from episodes mentioned:

Will - 14 (Confirmed thirteen in "Happy Birthday, Will" and the whole series takes place around a year and a half. The other Guardians are likely from 13-14, Will is the oldest in the comics.)

Danny, Sam and Tucker - likely 15-16

Danielle - Physically 12, chronologically six months to one year.

June - 11-12

Ben - 10-nyson ^_^

Gwen - Either 10 or eleven since she and Ben were born on the same day. If Ben was older, he'd probably rub it in at some point.

Caleb - Likely 16-17 (Confirmed fifteen in "It Resumes.")

Jake, Trixie and Spud - 15 at least (All three graduated middle school in "Being Human.")

Jazz - 17-18

Jack - likely mid-forties chronologically, ten years old mentally.

Fu and Monroe - 600+ and feeling it. (And that's just in human years, agoo!)

Blunk - Crap if I know. He's still a Mama's Boy, though.

Evencio "Corpsey" Gestard - ?

Urn of Belak - Freakin' ancient.

koolkame - Too old to be watching these cartoons! Grow up, man!

The candy bar in Spud's pocket - Expired in 2006.

Okay, I think I need to stop with the ages. If I got anything wrong please don't hesitate to tell me. June and Gwen's situation occurred for one reason: I want them to talk about it when they appear in my DJINN stories. I'm really thinking that far ahead, I can't help it. Like this:

Many years from now...

GWEN: Hey, June, remember when Mother Nature "promoted" us the summer we met?

JUNE: Yeah, and Ben had no idea what was going on?

BEN: I didn't... UNTIL YOU TOLD ME!

GWEN: It wasn't that bad...

BEN: DIAGRAMS! You used diagrams... oh, god... you scarred me for life, you know that?

GWEN: Is that why you're still the Big V, Ben?

BEN: ...

JUNE: ...

GWEN: What? What's up with you two?