t.r.u.t.h..o.r..d.a.r.e

"Ugh," Castor scoffed, handing in his scotch for a sip of water. "I hate this game."

And for the fifth time since sitting down, wiped his mouth roughly with the sleeve of his coat.

Frau barked a laugh. "You've been getting it easy, thanks to that one there," he pointed to Teito who noticed the gesture from the corner of his eye.

The teen opened his mouth to protest, realized that it was true, and instead shifted around to glare at the blond. "I'm sorry my imagination isn't as crude as yours," Teito remarked once he thought of something to say.

"It's not that difficult to think of something," Frau protested. "Let's list off the stupid shit I've been put through today, shall we?"

"Stop your whining! I was forced in twenty-something dresses for your amusement!"

"It wasn't just my amusement," he muttered, to which Teito narrowed his eyes. "Although," he chuckled, "you in that ruffled pink number did look " Frau paused, noticing the promise of pain in the teen's green eyes and finished with a carefully said "…cute."

"When did this happen?" Ayanami asked with a strange mix of timid curiosity, causing Labrador to "Awwwwww" and answer the man's question, explaining Castor's impromptu Fashion Show and some of the more memorable outfits the brunet wore.

"We have pictures," Hakuren supplied innocently, purposefully ignoring Teito's scalding glare.

"I wanna see!" Hyuuga clapped happily, prodding Castor for pictures until the puppeteer snapped at him to stop.

"We have some Polaroids," he lied. Castor had more than shoddy, grainy pictures of the Fashion Show hidden away. But they didn't need to know that. "Labrador, you had them last."

"I did?"

"Yes." He tried not to sound exasperated. Didn't know if it worked.

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally?"

Castor frowned, eyeing Labrador suspiciously before snatching the gardener's drink. There was protest, and even an attempt to take it back, but the russet had a simple time keeping Labrador at bay. He sniffed the drink, and if that alone didn't tell him what it was, he took a sip for good measure.

"I thought you were drinking apple juice!"

"But I wanted some," Labrador whined.

"You were falling down drunk not two hours ago!"

"You're not my father," he pouted. "I can drink whatever I want."

"Anyway," Hakuren pulled out the small stack of pictures from Labrador's pocket and presented them to their guests. "Here they are."

"Don't show them!" Teito snatched the stack before Ayanami could take them from the older teen.

"Yeah, hold on," Frau interjected, taking his turn to snatch the pictures. He shifted through them, smirking and chuckling at some, shaking his head at others. And after choosing his favorites, he handed the rest over.

"I want to see all of them," Ayanami frowned though still took the rest, much to Teito's dismay. The teen didn't have the courage to snatch anything away from the Chief of Staff.

"Mine," Frau shrugged.

"Ooooh!" Hyuuga grinned, taking the pictures and flipping through them. "You even Cosplayed! Is that supposed to be Rin from Vocaloid?"

"Which ones did you take?" Ayanami continued to press the matter, Frau simply shrugged his shoulders again.

"I hate you," Teito hissed at Hakuren.

The blond-haired teen simply smirked.

"Fine then!" Castor shouted over everyone, drawing attention to a conversation already well in. "If you're not lying, then remember that time "

Labrador tsk'd, quickly glancing to their now listening audience, and made a face that obviously told Castor to muddle the details.

"…with the thing. A-and the other thing," Castor snapped, finding his anger again and pushed forward. "What was that thing you didn't want to tell me?"

"I'm not answering that!" Labrador glared.

"Don't have much of a choice. It's Truth or Dare and you picked Truth."

"I know," he grounded out. "I was there."

"Well?" Castor prompted, trying to frighten the gardener into talking with another glare.

"What's going on?" Teito whispered to Frau who stared in mild confusion, head tilted curiously to one side before the blond snapped his fingers.

"Oh, was this the time when you woke up to find Lab naked in your bed covered in peanut butter and no recollection of what happened the day before?"

"No!" Both Castor and Labrador replied, scandalized.

Frau pouted. "Oh, figured that was it," he told Teito with a shrug. "Oh, wait! Was it the time at Aiko's party with the thong"

"You stop talking," Castor hissed, venom dripping from his words.

"Oh, no wait," Frau continued. "I bet it's that stupid thing with Labrador's darkest secret or desire or whatever crap, right?"

Castor slapped a hand over his forehead.

"It is that," he grinned. "It is that," he repeated to Teito.

The teen stared at Frau in disbelief, wondering why the blond was still grinning like an idiot. Was he waiting for a pat on the head and a job well done?

"Fucking shit," Labrador muttered under his breath, rising to his feet and walking around Hakuren to Frau. The blond received him with a raised questioning eyebrow, and suddenly found himself choking on his cape as the gardener took him and dragged him away to the "changing area".

"I'm guessing he took penalty," Hakuren commented unnecessarily.

"Oh look! It's the Night Class girl uniform from Vampire Knight!" Hyuuga squealed. "Kaname Kuran is amazing."

"No he's not," Castor scoffed before he could stop himself. And once every eye turned to him, he figured he might as well continue. "Zero Kiryu is a far more likeable character. He is kind, loyal, respectable, and not some conceited aristocrat who's in love with his sister."

"Shut up! That's not true," Hyuuga covered his ears, going lalalalala for a good few seconds before he stopped and glared at Castor. "Not like I like him with Yuuki anyway. At least he's not some emo wannabe!"

"Kaname has an emo fringe! Who are you calling emo?"

"Oh, and Zero with his daddy issues isn't emo?"

"Zero doesn't have daddy issues!"

"No, he has sibling issues, apparently."

"His parents were killed by vampires, what do you expect?"

"Naruto's parents were killed by a giant fox, did he turn into some sobbing emo child with anger issues? No. He did not. He's fucking Hokage!"

"Don't bring Naruto into this!"

"Seriously," Frau heavily stressed the 's', looking on with disbelief. He was dressed back in his suit, emerging from dressing while fixing his tie. "You guys are arguing about a Shojo manga? And not a very good one at that."

Castor rolled his eyes but kept silent, Hyuuga wisely chose to do the same.

For all of five seconds.

"It kicked ass, so shut up."

"Looks like you two do have something in common," the blond continued as he reclaimed his seat, happy not having to worry about how to properly sit. "You're both creepy Otakus."

"I actually have to agree with the priest," Ayanami pressed before Hyuuga could get a word in. "It's one of your more disturbing qualities."

Hyuuga looked like a wet kitten. Adorable yet pathetic.

"That's your definition of disturbing?" Teito asked incredulously. Something like that sounded completely innocent in comparison to what he had just heard come out of Hyuuga's mouth just minutes ago.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Okay, get your laughter out of the way," Labrador proclaimed, throwing the sheet aside to reveal his outfit, adding again to the constant swiveling of heads and distracted attentions.

Staying in theme with his earlier outfit, his gown was of the same location and era. It constricted and flattened the chest with a corset, cinched at the waist, and flowed out to the floor. There was lace and frills and it was a soft lavender color.

"You look cute," Hakuren commented offhandedly after taking a quick glance.

"It actually…suits you," Castor added, sounding bewildered.

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel better," he bit, sitting down stubbornly between Frau and Hakuren, a bit behind to make room for his poofy skirt.

"So where's your smartass comment for Lab, punk?"

This was directed to Teito from Frau, the former merely rolled his eyes and wondered when the blond would get over it.

"Just like you tease Teito because you like him," Hakuren began seriously, almost scholarly, ignoring Frau's indignant protest. "He teases you because he likes you."

"I don't like Frau!"

"By tomorrow," the blond teen sighed helplessly, a smirk curling his lips as he shrugged, "they'll be a stupid, happy little couple."

"I give it a week," Castor added his opinion. "They're both dense enough to dance around the issue until it slaps them in the face."

"I don't like the brat!"

"No," Labrador caught his chin in hand, critically analyzing Frau. "I give it a couple hours. This one has that look on his face."

"What look?"

"Like that time with the Rose woman," the gardener grinned.

"At Chase Plaza!" Labrador and Castor finished together, laughing at a shared memory.

"We agreed: the Rose Incident cannot be used against me to win any argument," Frau growled, glaring at Labrador from the corner of his eye before shifting to do the same to Castor.

"What's the Rose Incident?" Hakuren asked.

"It's " Labrador began since he did not have Frau's glare of death pressing on him. Until it was on him like a goddamn heat missile. "Nothing. It's nothing," he told Hakuren with a slight frown, waggling his finger as if chastening the boy for ever bringing it up.

"You know I can't take you seriously when you're wearing that, right?"

Labrador glared at Hakuren.

"He's mine!" Teito shouted, pointing to Hakuren to specify exactly who, especially after the earlier talk about who he supposedly likes. "I'm going to get my revenge on him first, Labrador-san, so I ask that you Dare someone else."

"Fine," the gardener shrugged, setting his sights a bit higher. "Ayanami-san."

"Yes?"

"Truth or Dare?"

Ayanami smiled something small and innocent. "Dare, Labrador-kun."

"Alright. Lemme think," he pressed a forefinger onto his temple, glaring down to the many folds of his dress. His first plan was to force the Chief of Staff into Penalty, then realized that might not go over to well. Teasing Frau into a dress was one thing. He doubted anyone in the room would live to see another day if Ayanami was threatened into a dress. But he didn't pick Ayanami for that purpose anyway.

If his plan worked, he would be out of the dress by the next turn.

With a snap of his fingers, as if he just thought of a dare (though he had been saving it for someone, preferably Frau or Castor, but that didn't matter now), Labrador smiled innocently and folded his hands on his lap.

"I dare you, Mr. Chief of Staff, that at the end of every sentence every statement, question, fragment every and any, you must end with nyaa~ For one turn, I guess," he added as an afterthought.

The room was silent as they digested this, Ayanami especially. He watched the gardener with a blank face, betraying nothing. Then slowly he opened his mouth, thought for a moment and closed it again. He thought a little bit more before replying: "Nyya?"

"No, nyaa~"

"What's the difference?"

"You spelled it with two Y's; it is two A's."

"And you know this how?"

"Do you accept or not," Labrador huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "It is a pretty straightforward Dare, I do not know how you can possibly be unable to accomplish it."

"Nyaa?"

"And you have to do the squiggle."

"The what now?"

"The squiggle~"

Ayanami stared at Labrador as if he just descended from another planet fascinated yet a tad terrified.

"Squiggle~"

"He's drunk," Castor sighed tiredly, visibly slouching as he closed his eyes. "Just ignore him."

"No," Frau interjected, eyeing Labrador seriously. "I think I get it."

"No you don't," Castor replied stubbornly, clearly annoyed and preparing for an incoming migraine.

"Squiggle~ right?"

"Oh my god, Frau! You did it!" Labrador smiled, patting the blond bishop's arm.

"Squiggle~?"

"Teito did it too! Yay!"

"Squiggle, squiggle~~"

"Hakuren did it twice! Yay!"

"I don't know what's going on," Castor dropped his face into his open palms.

"Shit, I've been squiggling for years. That's amateur work," Hyuuga dismissed them with a wave of his hand, his rolling eyes clearly sending pity their way.

"Okay, Mr. Know-It-All," Frau glared, arms crossed across his chest. "Let's see what you got."

Hyuuga spared them all a smirk, except Ayanami, of course, before clearing his throat unnecessarily. "Now, my story begins in the 12th Century~" he smiled.

"Don't," the Chief of Staff shook his head. "Just don't."

"Awwww," he pouted, jutting out his lip adorably before giving a sigh of defeat. Then that moment passed and he saluted. "Okie-dokie-lokie~!"

Frau and Labrador looked mildly disappointed while the rest of the crowd breathed a sigh of relief, except Ayanami, because he would never do such a human thing.

"So…nyaa~?" the Chief of Staff asked, disbelief clear on his face.

Labrador smiled and nodded. "Unless, of course, it's too difficult a task for you to carry out…?"

"I'll accept your dare."

"I'll accept your dare…?" Labrador circled his wrist, silently asking for more.

Ayanami sighed. He was human, after all. And if anyone dared to say otherwise, he had a pretty little pistol that he wasn't above using. Preferably shot pointblank, but anywhere would do. "I'll accept your dare… nyaa~"

Hyuuga gave a frightful squeal and immediately slapped a hand over his mouth to smother it. Frau coughed obviously into his hand, avoiding eye-contact with the Chief of Staff. Hakuren giggled silently, biting into his bottom lip to stop the grin stretching across his face. Castor scratched the back of his head and interested himself with the labels on the alcohol bottles. Teito closed his eyes and nodded, arms crossed over his chest and attempted nonchalance.

And, finally, Labrador smiled widely and clapped. "Good job, Aya-san!"

"Yes…nyaa~" Ayanami coughed into his hand, looking distinctly uncomfortable but seemed determined not to let that bother him. In fact, he would make someone else even more uncomfortable. "Teito-kun."

Labrador cleared his throat, giving a sleepy sniff before looking down at his dress, picking at the folds and just, overall, looking occupied.

"Teito-kun…nyaa~."

Hyuuga squealed again, quieter this time around, and bit his fist, shaking with mirth and completely oblivious to the aura of death radiating around his superior officer.

"U-um, y-yeah?" Teito flinched, suddenly terrified by the nyaa~ and the fact that they were coming out of Ayanami. He shouldn't be laughing; laughing could only get him a death sentence. But at least now he could get out of this dare of sitting on the man's lap.

"Truth or dare…nyaa~" Ayanami gave a pointed look towards Labrador who nodded, satisfied.


A/N: WOW. Who knew our sweet, innocent little gardener had it in him to make Ayanami do something like that, eh? I couldn't help myself. I think I'm starting to entertain the idea of the two of them together… God, some thing's wrong with me.

Anyway.

Miss Dragon Mistress, luck of the draw, I've picked one of your ideas again xD Labradoodle in a dress. A Miss (Mr?) Anonymous also asked to see Labradoodle in such a way, so, whoever you are, you should go make friends with Miss Dragon; you two have much in common. Yayubaru1, thanks for the idea of "animal speak". I know nyaa isn't technically animal speak, but in my world that's what kitties say so that's that :3 And I could've sworn someone asked for a "dark secret", I just can't seem to find who... So, if it's you and you want credit, I know it was just a mention, but Labradoodle just doesn't seem like the type to give such a thing away so easily. I mean, it's Labrador. He's all sweet and innocent, he can't ruin his reputation! ...where was I going with this? Oh yeah, if you want credit just tell me and I'll do it next chapter :D

Now…what else was I going to say?

Oh!

THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE, GUYS c: I'm really tempted to start replying to reviews even though I'm such a lazy butt… But you guys are just so funny, and incredibly awesome, and amazingly spectacular, and sweet, and your reviews make me smile, especially the ones where you guys tell me your favorite parts of the chapter xD I would hug all of you if I could, and I don't hug frequently because of my unsocial prowess, but since I can't I guess I'll just keep updating this story just for YOU, (insert your penname here). I would like to list all of you, but I think I've written enough. I know, I'll just put everyone's initials!

Next chapter.

In which kitties show their claws, people get stripper names, and in which a spontaneous contest is created.

Wiggle~ :D

Disclaimer - I don't own Vocaloid, Vampire Knight, Naruto, Tokyo Mew Mew, Soul Eater, or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (if anyone caught the last two references, good job! *thumbs up*). They were added for my amusement and for extra word count