woah...when was the last time i updated this...? well this is old but i rediscovered it and decided to upload!


&& ashfur x squirrelflight {shattershipping}

how to save a life / the fray

"Ashfur...Ashfur, just listen!"

"Listen to what, Squirrelflight? Will you say 'I'm so sorry' or 'StarClan needed us to be together'? Because they didn't, if you'd...if you'd been mine the secret would've been water under the bridge, you know it just as well as I do. StarClan, Squirrelflight, I loved you, why Bramble-"

"Don't ever say his name!"

Twilight blue meets forest green.

"Why not?"

( quiet, sad, threatening - )

"Be...because...you'll-you'll ruin everything, won't you? You plan on telling, right? So...when I hear his name, I don't need it to be from the mouth of such a-"

''-traitor? Who are you, of all cats, to plague me as a traitor? If anything, you lied, Squirrelflight, to your family, to three cats who never did a wrong in the first place. You're the traitor, not me, you betrayed everything StarClan gave you, while they left me..."

Claws dig into the earth, breaths become labored.

"...what happened to us, Ashfur?"

"You broke my heart, remember."

"But...but you didn't need to take it so far! You saw Whitewing's glances at you, didn't you? But, in the end, even she gave up on you and went to Birchfall! She could've...oh, I don't know, she could've loved you! Why did it have to be me, of all cats? I already said I didn't return your feelings, but you just sat in the corner and yowled your grieves like a kit! Or, at least, we could've still been friends...I would've listened to you, Ashfur, no matter what. I would've listened to everything you had to say, about me and Brambleclaw. Because you know what? I cared about you. I wanted to stay friends, so I would've accepted you without a word, but you ran away and ignored everyone who tried to help.

"Ashfur, I always loved you. I always wanted you-"

"But not in the way I wanted you! I loved you so much it hurt, Squirrelflight, I thought that if I couldn't have you...

"I - I thought, then I'll just take someone away so there's room for me."

"...A - Ashfur - "

"Th - that's so smart, right, Squirrelflight? Hawkfrost helped too, you know, he was such a genius, more so than me, even! And then Brambleclaw killed him. Squirrelflight, why is your mate a murderer? Hawkfrost was smart and nice and great, so much better than his half-brother - Brambleclaw killed his half-brother! I wonder why no one ever looks at it that way, and goes 'a cat that killed his kin, doesn't deserve to be deputy, no, no, no...' Especially Firestar, he should really choose better subordinates, don't you think, Squirrelflight?"

And then paws thump upon the ground and the grey-flecked tom is suddenly on his back with the flame-pelted she-cat pinning him down, glaring hard at him with sad, angry green eyes. The grey-flecked tom just stares back through dull dark blue eyes, smirking faintly as the she-cat cuffs him hard over the ears with her one white paw. She sounds choked and furious, sobs hitching her voice so that it barely meets his pricked ears.

"Ashfur, what happened to you?"

The grey-flecked tom can hear heartbeats drone by in his ears, and he doesn't answer right away, just looks up at her and once again notes what a beautiful shade of green they are. The same eyes of the cat Hawkfrost tried to kill with a fox trap, the same eyes a small black cat stared at him, horrified, with, flames reflected in the grassy orbs as the secret he'd tell fell out and stopped his heartbeat, and the same eyes that never once looked as sorry as they should have when they murdered his dreams and ingnited the revenge they rightfully deserved.

"You broke my heart, remember."