And here we go again, I've stopped watching GH so we should be good in that I won't get too disgusted by it again to continue (though I can't promise I won't break another key off my keyboard or kill where I plug in my power cord again :-P).


Used to Be

"I need you to explain something to me," she said shaking her head accusingly at him.

He was lost in the fire in her eyes, the determination coursing through her body, from the cocky stance she had taken to the precise swing her curls took as she shook her head.

"Sonny!" she snapped at him.

"What do you want to know Brenda?"

"When did I become Brenda?"

His mouth merely opened unable to understand what she was asking him.

"When did I stop being, Bren, Baby, Sweetheart, Darling. When did you start thinking of me as Brenda."

"They're just names."

"No," she shook her head at him, "They're not," brown eyes looked up mournfully at him. "You would have fought the world single-handedly for Bren."

"I would do anything for you," he whispered.

"No," she took a step closer to him; the living room began closing in on him, his heart started to pound with a deliberate beat that signaled she was near. "When did you stop fighting for us?"

"I had to," he shook his head.

"No," she shook her head back at him with tears in her eyes.

"I couldn't risk it. Not you. Never you."

"You didn't want to hurt me, so you let others," her voice trembled.

"I would have never left you if I'd known what was going to happen. You have to believe that."

"You stopped loving me. Passed me off to Jason, let me leave the country."

"I had to!" he yelled.

"Why?! Why did you have to?" she begged for an answer.

"I…" he shook his head.

"Why did you stop fighting for us?"

"I…" his head continued to shake.

"When did we stop being worth it? When did I stop being worth it?"

"You're worth everything."

"I used to believe that."

He rushed towards her and finally she didn't back away, didn't recoil from his touch, his hands half tangled with her curls as he cupped the sides of her face, looking into those eyes, those eyes that he could always see everything, always see them, his past, his future all contained in two perfect orbs. "You," he swore. "More than anything, it's you. Always and forever you."

Her hands lifted and covered his as her eyes once more filled with tears, matching his own.

He leaned in to kiss her when suddenly she disappeared from his grasp…

-x-X-x-

He spun on his heel, desperately seeking out where she had disappeared to, the room had changed. No longer as sign of everything he had with dollar signs screaming their importance, but the apartment of a man trying to be more, not a man trying to prove he was more. Modern, small. Probably the first real home that man had ever had, filled with a family that treated you as family first. Gray walls that were warmer than anything before or since.

"Bren-" her name died on his lips as he saw her walking out of the bedroom, straight hair being pulled back into a sloppy ponytail wearing nothing but a man's maroon button up.

She let out a soft smile and her head softly tilted at him despite her task, just seeing him made her happy, "What?" she questioned as he continued to stare at her.

"I love you," he said striding towards her, his hands once more grasped her face, "more than anything," he repeated before kissing her.

"What did you do?" she asked with a laugh once they came up for air.

"Nothing," he promised pulling back, "I just need you to know, it's always you, it's always been you, everything has been because of you."

Her eyes were a warm chocolate, the kind you wanted to drown in, "I know the feeling."

The front door started to open, "Oh man don't you guys ever stop," the teasing younger man's voice stopped Sonny's breath. Stone.

He turned just in time to see Robin shake her head, "Oh leave them alone, they're happy."

"Thank you Robin," Brenda laughed.

"You know I love him, but sometime's he's a little," she made a joking face as she spun her finger next to her head "sometimes."

"Hey," Stone replied with a faux scowl.

"Aww Stone, don't listen to her," Brenda sympathetic tone reassured him for a brief moment.

"Thank you Brenda," he nodded before shooting an evil glance at his girlfriend.

You're crazy all the time," she laughed and Robin joined in.

"Y chromosome right?" Robin postulated.

"Oh definitely," Brenda nodded.

"Don't even get me started on females," he shook his head, "all of except for my little Ella," he said making a faux jog over to the area next to the counter, to the gray trimmed with green playard. He quickly bent and scooped the white onsie covered baby into his arms with a practiced ease, she rewarded him with a giggle as did the other girls in the room. "Right my little Ella?"

She giggled again.

"Ella, Ella, eh," he lifted her up with each word and every bounce she blessed him with another smile.

"Cute kinda crazy though," Robin admitted.

"They have to be," Brenda said throwing her arms around Sonny's back, "just so the world doesn't die off."

Sonny's hand covered her arm, but his eyes were transfixed by the little girl in Stone's arms. Not more than half a year old, with Brenda's doe eyes, surrounded with lashes he could see from several feet away and wisps of brown hair.

"Okay," Stone said walking over, "Robin and I actually just came in to change, so you know," he smiled, "make me dinner and I'll eat it later."

"We're going out to dinner," Robin admonished.

"I don't know who she thinks she's talking about that I'm not going to be hungry at 2am," he said passing off the baby without much warning to Sonny. "You know maybe you guys should start thinking about having another one, eating on my own is getting kinda lonesome."

"Yea," Brenda sarcastically replied, "thanks for letting me do that by the way because working my ass off for four months after was tons of fun."

"Who said you needed to work it off?" Stone asked with a cocked head and a teasing tone as Sonny did nothing but stare at his daughter in awe, reveling in her sturdy little weight, so frail, yet…so solid. "You were kind of cute for a chubster, Sonny certainly seemed to enjoy it," he smiled. "Isn't that right man," his hand came out and slapped Sonny on the arm, startling him slightly.

Shocked just enough to respond, "Brenda's always beautiful," he answered still barely paying attention.

"Hit him," Brenda ordered with a shake of her head before moving back into the kitchen.

"Oww," Stone quickly replied rubbing his arm from where Robin swatted him. "What was that for?"

"Called Brenda fat?" Robin asked with a roll of her eyes as she turned heading towards Stone's room.

"She called me crazy first," he defended.

"Obviously she was right if you thought it was a good idea to call her fat…" their bickering trailed out of the room.

"Hey," Brenda said popping her head out of the pass through between the two rooms, "are you ruining my dinner because this looks done to me."

He stared blankly at her for a moment.

"Put Ella down Sonny," she ordered as if to a halfwit, "and feed her Mommy."

"Uh," he nodded, "yea." He shook his head as he was walking back around towards the kitchen, his thoughts and actions finally becoming operational, "Ever consider it might be time for you to learn how to cook?"

She met him at the doorway with a deadly look in her eye, "When you can be pregnant and go through labor, I'll take over the cooking duties."

He smiled over at her as he gave the cooking greens on the stove a stir after turning off the oven.

"You love feeding me," she knowingly informed him.

He dropped the spoon on the side of the stove, not caring if it hit its mark. "I love everything you let me do for you," his hand once more cupped her cheek. "Though you know," he huskily whispered to her, "if we're keeping this fair, all of my years cooking for you versus nine months of pregnancy, I'm thinking we might need to even this out."

Her head tilted into his hand, "Oh really? What do you suggest?" Her eyes twinkled.

"Another little girl as perfect as you."

"Already?"

"No time like the present."

"No time like tomorrow," she laughed.

"Just in case Brenda," he brushed a few loose stands of hair back.

"In case of what?"

"There isn't a tomorrow," he soulfully answered.

"Don't ever say that," her hand came up to cover his, her eyes pleading with him, "I couldn't survive losing you, Sonny. Promise me we'll have till we're old and gray."

"Hey no knocking the gray," Joe Scully's voice interrupted them and Sonny shot around to look through the pass-through to where Scully was now holding his daughter.

"No," Sonny whispered.

"This little girl for one, finds gray to be very dapper," he smiled as she pulled at his gray temples, "or at least entertaining." He shifted Ella in front of him, "Isn't that right Princess Ella, you love your Pop's gray hair."

Sonny spun to turn back to Brenda, to chase after Scully and reclaim his daughter, but Brenda was gone and as he turned back so was Joe.

-x-x-X-x-x-

He shot up gasping for air, then clenched his wound in pain from the action.

"Oh my god Sonny!" Kate exclaimed rushing out of the bathroom.

Kate…

"Are you okay?" she asked as she joined him in bed.

He shook his head, "Just a bad dream. What time is it?"

"A little past ten, those pills you got at the hospital certainly knock you out," she brushed the side of his face. "Funny," she told him looking slightly perplexed, "a few minutes ago I could have sworn you were having a dream about us," she smiled, "you had this adorable little pleased smirk on your face.

His heart dropped to his stomach, but he ignored it, "Adorable really?" he broke out the dimples for his question, "You sure it wasn't suave or sexy?"

"Nope sorry to break it to you Corinthos," she feigned seriousness, "it was completely adorable."

"I don't know how I feel about being called adorable, not sure I want you to see me how you see the boys."

"Oh trust me Sonny," her eyes narrowing in on him, "the moment the doctor gives you the all clear, I'm going to show you just how highly rated and completely unrelated to the boys I found that smirk," she promised leaning in to him as he tried, but failed to banish all other thought from his mind.


Stopping here. You should have seen Jason and Brenda shopping and the afters of that in this chapter, but seriously that Sonny part turned REALLY hard to write.

So comments….

(aside from what I'm sure are a multitude of boo boos due to posting at nearly 4am :-P )