Hey guys… Not as long in between updates huh??? Just to warn all of you, I am a Sammy buff, so I've been waiting to put him in a chapter, and I tend to lean towards squee moments between the brothers…(Even if Sammy is unconscious.)

By the way... This chapter is dedicated to Faye Dartmouth because I think there are a few very strong aspects in this chapter that she loves...

But anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and if you do, tell me so, if I missed something, tell me…

Thanks again to my wonderful beta, … And thanks to all of you that review…

Enjoy!

XxXxX

Chapter 9:

It took a while, but after three straight hours of begging, Dr. Scarlet finally agreed to let Dean go to ICU to see his brother. Granted Dean had to sit in a wheel chair the whole time, and he was only allowed to see Sammy through the glass window of his room; but at least he would get to see his little brother, to know that he was still there, that he was still alive.

His nurse Katie had, with the help of two big orderlies, gotten him settled in a wheel chair, and had promised to come back soon and take him to see his brother. Dean only had to wait ten minutes for the petite nurse to come back to the room, and as she wheeled him Dean was left feeling a combination of fear and excitement.

Afraid to see his once strong and agile brother lying there unmoving and pale, hooked to so many machines, telling Dean just how injured his little brother was. Excited to see that even though Sam was hurt, that he was still alive, that Dean hadn't lost the last member of his ever shrinking family.

Katie stopped at the doors to the ICU, and pushing the big blue square, she stepped back over to Dean, and waited for the automatic doors to open. Once Katie wheeled Dean through the doors and up to the desk, she left him there for a minute to check with another nurse, to see if anything was being done to Sam right then that she needed to worry about Dean seeing.

After talking to the nurse for a few minutes, (Cherry, Dean had heard Katie call her) Cherry told Katie that Sam had just gotten over his tests, and that Dean was welcome to see him. Katie nodded and thanked her softly before going back to Dean, and resuming her trek down the hall towards Sam's room.

"Now Dean, I don't want you to get excited, you need to keep your blood pressure in check, but I talked it over with the supervisor and Dr. Sinclair, and they said that it would be alright if you spent a little time in Sam's room." Dean looked up at her, shock and hope lining his face, and she smiled at him.

"Wha- really?" He asked, as if the fact that he could see his brother was a cruel joke being played on him.

"Yes Dean, really. Now you can't be in there too long, only about fifteen to twenty minutes, but we figured you would like any chance you could get to see him." Katie told him softly, and Dean nodded.

"Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me." Dean told her as she wheeled him in the room, and Dean felt his breath catch at the sight of his vulnerable little brother.

Sam lay there, so still, limp, death-like. There were so many machines and wires attached to his little brother, that Dean wasn't sure what was what, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. There was one thing that he couldn't take his gaze from, no matter how he tried, all Dean could see was the endotracheal tube, threaded down Sam's throat.

"Now Dean, I know all this equipment looks bad, but it really is all just to help Sam, and to tell us what to do to help him." Katie told him quietly.

"Yeah," Dean breathed, never taking his eyes off the body lying so still in front of him. Sammy was never still, not even when he was sleeping, and yet here he was, unmoving and so damn pale…

As Dean scanned his brother, he noticed the c-collar around Sam's neck, and not knowing why it was there, he asked Katie just as she walked toward the door to leave. "The brace is to keep him from moving, so the ET-tube doesn't move; just like the restrictive device in his mouth keeps the tube from moving." Katie told him quietly, and though Dean still looked concerned, she could see a little relief in his eyes. "Believe me, there was no injury to his neck, it really is just to help him."

"Thanks," Dean said, turning his full attention back to his brother.

"It's no problem," Katie told him as she walked out the door.

Reaching out while being careful of all the wires, Dean lifted Sam's hand in his and drew it close to himself. God Sammy, why does this always happen to you? Why does everything always happen to you?

"Hey Sammy, how you doing little brother?" Dean asked quietly, trying for all the world not to cry; not that there was anyone there to see him, he just had to be strong for his Sammy. "You took quite a hit there little brother. But the way you took out that thing was bad-ass! I am so proud of you, dad would be too." There was no response, not that Dean had expected any, he just couldn't keep himself from hoping.

"Since we were little, I've tried my best to take care of you, to keep you from everything bad in the world… Well, it looks like lately I've done a pretty shitty job, doesn't it?" Dean's confession went unanswered, but Dean pulled Sam's hand to his forehead and went on. "I couldn't stop Jessica from dying, or keep you from the pain it caused. Mom, Max, man even dad; I couldn't keep you from the pain, and god Sam I am so damn sorry!

"If there was any way for me to take your place, man I would in a heart-beat. I would do anything for you Sammy, anything. I just wish this had never happened, I wish I had been paying more attention on that hunt, god I wish we had never even gone on that hunt!" Dean felt the inevitable tears flow down the side of his nose, and with Sam's lax hand still pressed to his forehead, Dean laid his head down on the bed next to his brother's stomach.

"Please be okay Sammy, I need you to be okay. I can't lose anymore family." Dean's voice was muffled, but the words and the tone behind them were clear. This wasn't something Dean would joke about, something that he could joke about, and it was clear that he wasn't.

After a few minutes, Dean sat up, his body protesting the movement, as pain in his ribs made itself known. Dean ignored it, and stood, deliberately ignoring Dr. Scarlet's orders.

There was nothing and no one on the earth that could make Dean do anything when it came to Sammy.

Letting Sam's hand go, Dean gently reached out and stroked his brother's wayward bangs away from his eyes, trying his hardest not to let his attention fixate on the tube that jutted from Sam's mouth, or that soft click and whoosh of the ventilator, as it forced Sam to breathe.

"You fight Sam, whatever you do, just don't give in." Dean told Sam as he sat back down. Please just don't give up…

The door opened, and Katie came back in, looking sorry for all the world to see, and Dean looked up at the clock. He was surprised to see that almost half an hour had gone by while he had sat and talked to Sammy. Katie had let him have his time with Sam, hell she had given him more time than she had promised, and for that Dean was grateful, he just hated to leave his brother.

"Do I really have to leave?" Dean asked, his voice child-like and pleading. He couldn't bring himself to care about what he sounded like, right now all that mattered was Sammy, and he would do anything for his little brother.

"I'm afraid so Dean, I already let you stay longer than I should have; and though I am sorry that you have to go back to your room, and away from your brother… I am not sorry that you are going back to your room. You were hurt Dean, and I know that Sam is your top priority right now, but you also need to take care of yourself." Katie told Dean, and walked over to stand behind him.

"I know, and thank you for your concern, but I can't just leave him alone," Dean pleaded, as Katie let the brakes off.

"I'm sorry Dean, but you have to for now." He could tell that the young nurse really was sorry, and he felt bad about playing on her sympathy, but he needed to be with his brother. Katie must have seen the look on Dean's face, because before he could even open his mouth to argue, she shushed him. "Look I'll talk to the Supervisor, and see if he will let you back in later to see your brother, but only if you let me take you back to your room, and you get some rest."

Dean thought about the offer for a moment, and deciding that limited time with Sammy was better than no time with Sammy he reluctantly acquiesced Katie's request. The woman breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, a smile that Dean returned, albeit not as big, but a smile nonetheless.

The trip back to his room was uneventful, and Dean found himself glad that it had been that way. He didn't think that he could take anything more at the moment, the sight of Sam, and the talk he had with him, had been draining.

Katie decided to forgo the orderlies that had helped her with getting Dean into the wheelchair, and she helped Dean into his bed, making sure he was comfortable before she moved away. "Is there anything else that I can get you before I leave?" She asked, her voice telling Dean that although it was a question she had to ask, she would try to help him in any way that she could.

"No, I'm okay for now," Dean answered softly, already feeling the dredges of sleep pull at him. "Thank you." He told her as he felt the rest of his resolve, dissolve, and succumbed to the pull of sleep.

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A/N: So I hope yah'all enjoyed the chapter… And if you did, push the little purple button on your left, and I will wuv you forever…

Take care and review often,

OSS