Chapter Nine

Finally willing to take the trial somewhat seriously, Deems pounded his gavel, swinging his gaze too the prosecution... Sadly, his grip was less than ideal, and the gavel flopped out of his hands, landing right on the floor. "Uh... As I was saying, may the prosecution call their next witness?" He stammered out, fumbling of his chair. He quickly picked up the gavel, dashing back up to his chair.

Rolling her eyes, Lacy continued, "Yes, the prosecution would like to call Rose Sinesta to the stand."

Rose, with a tired look on her face, approached the stand. Today she was dressed in an oversized green sweater with a new pair of blue jeans. For being a witness in such an important trial, not to mention a millionaire and successful business woman, she sure wasn't dressed for the occasion. Was this a plot hole, perhaps?

"Name, please?" Lacy requested.

"Rose Sinesta." She replied, quite snidely

"And your occupation?"

"I'm a business owner – if it's all the same to you, could we just skip this useless prattle, and get to my testimony?"

Visibly annoyed, Lacy conceded, and gave her the go ahead.

"On the night of Ethan's murder we were sharing a dinner at my house, a delicious wagyu ribeye, as it was. If I had known it would be our last dinner I wouldn't have had such an inexpensive meal..." Rose looked visibly distressed, or at least tried her best to appear so. "Anyway, after dinner we were meant to see a movie together, Ethan's latest film, in fact. But before we left I, quite sadly, had to use the bathroom – to apply some lipgloss... I brought Felicity with me to guard the door outside the bathroom... But, when I came out..." At this point, Rose was in tears. Oh, what a poor girl! "There was Ethan! What a miserable sight! If only I hadn't used to use that accursed lipgloss...!"

"That's enough, Miss Sinesta, I believe we get the idea."

"He was dead!" She sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"That's such a sad story..." Deems sympathized, his eyes welling with tears.

"Hmph, that's nothing! Once, I came in second at a pie eating contest!..." Att declared triumphantly "…It was a very traumatic time in my life, actually."

"You think second place is something to be depressed over, fattie?! I was only seven when my parents got divorced!" Deems retorted, wiping the tears away from his eyes.

"Oh yeah? All of my grandparents are dead! So there."

"BOYS!" Lacy growled, "Need I remind you once more this is a murder trial?!"

"Righteo!" Case interjected, waving about his right hand, "Besides, I win the prize for most depressing backstory: I'm Lacy's partner!"

"Damn, you're right." Deems muttered under his breath, Att following up with a "He's good."

"My boyfriend was murdered right in my own house…" Rose continued, still sobbing.

"Oh, yeah. That." Att stammered, remembering this was still a murder trial. "Anyway, time for my cross-examination, right?"

"No, left-" Case began, waving around his left hand, before Lacy sharply jabbed his side. "I mean, yup, go right ahead. Don't mind me!"

"Alright then. Miss Sinesta, you say on the night of the murder you were having 'delicious steak', correct?"

"Ummm, yes..."

"Hah, a contradiction! How can this possibly be true when I wasn't the one cooking your dinner that night?! What do you say to that?"

"What?"

"That's right! How could you have possibly been eating a 'delicious steak' when I wasn't the one preparing it?! I asked the defendant to cook me some steak-"

"You never asked-"

"-And I can objectively conclude that I feel her steak tastes like trash compared to mine!"

"What-"

But the audience was already abuzz.

"Woah, good one!"

"That is very convincing..."

"Oh snap, talk about a come-back!"

"Order, order!" The judge bellowed, slamming his gavel. "There is only one way to settle this," he began "...With a cook-off, right here, right now!"

And the audience was back.

"Yeah!"

"My money is on the hot one!"

"Mommy, can we go home?"

"Oooooor," Rose interrupted, "we don't, and never mention it again."

"Wow, that's a compelling argument." Deems concluded, "Fine, we'll do it your way: We'll have a bake-off! Best batch of cookies wins the trial!"

"How about we do none of those things, and continue the trial." Lacy interjected, slowly becoming fed-up, again.

"Ugh, fine. What a stale-cookie you are." The judge pouted, "You may continue your cross-examination, defense..."

"I only have one more question," Att began, "How fast can you use the bathroom? Because I bet I can go faster."

"And that's the end of my testimony, folks!"