A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.
WARNING: ANGST, DRAMA, FLUFF, WAFF, SUGGESTIVE THEMES
Chapter 9: Scorched
Serph expected everything from her; he had expected for her to slap him…to punch him, to scream at him or to just simply leave him…
But she had defeated all of his expectations as she did the only thing that he didn't expect her to do.
She held his hand in hers.
With a small smile and kind understanding eyes, Argilla softly encircled Serph's hand in hers and spoke just as softly, "There…That wasn't so bad. Right…?"
Serph's nodded and cast his eyes away from her, ashamed.
This had been a first for him.
Sure, he had felt attraction towards other women and had come to appreciate beauty…but never did he let his feelings get this attached…and out of control. Before he had met Argilla, his priorities had been his job and his denial of his soon-to-arrive arranged marriage.
But no longer.
Now, he had succumbed to this strange and foreign feeling that had found its way within his system and invaded it.
Now, there was no more denying anything.
And from the voice of his companion, he couldn't help but ask whether or not she knew and expected of his confession or not.
"You…you knew huh…?" he asked, still hanging his head low, defeated.
Argilla, continuing to hold his hand and her own small smile, shook her head slowly as she closed her eyes, "No…You're wrong. I didn't."
She wasn't angry with him; nor was she disappointed and upset.
No.
As she had pointed out to him earlier and countless of times before that, their friendship meant everything to her. She knew and accepted the fact that it wasn't Serph's fault should his feelings for her had evolved into something deeper.
No.
She believed that each and every person was free to think and feel the way they deemed. How would anyone control their feelings anyway…?
Sure, adhering to religion, laws and culture was one thing. People shape and redefine their behavior so that they may fit society's criteria for the labels of "model citizen" or "normal" or "accepted".
But up to what extent can behavior be curbed…?
And that wasn't the real question…
Behaviors can be and are artificial. People act the way they do to fit in and blend with the crowd. Hence, most human interaction in public is curbed and in the extreme, is orchestrated.
At times, laws, religion and culture prohibited the growth and progression of certain feelings, desires and urges…
Emotions are thus tailored and shaped…
Hence, the real question was revealed.
Up to what extent can feelings and emotions be wrought…?
'They just…can't…' she thought sadly as she felt a painful prick within her chest. She felt overwhelming sadness now as Serph's silver eyes hung upon her gaze…desperately. He had been hanging onto his religion and culture too much that he had most probably had done everything to mask, deny, change and eliminate his growing feelings for her…without success.
As she imagined what it had been like for Serph to hold his feelings, she couldn't help but feel sad and deprived.
That was why she wasn't angry with him.
That was why she would still continue to be his friend. She wouldn't abandon him or think that their relationship had turned sour and strange enough so that she may leave him.
No; if she did that, then she had no right to claim that she had ever been once his friend.
Not ever.
"I didn't." she said again, whispering, still smiling at him, "I had suspected that you had someone. But I know better than to ask you. I had hoped that you would tell me sooner…but you didn't. I still wouldn't really have asked except that…tonight I just felt that I just had to ask. I knew that I might be treading upon your sense of privacy but I just had to ask…"
"Why…?"
Argilla bit her lip, "Because I also knew that whoever this woman was…she was hurting you."
Serph cast his face down.
She did…know him better.
And because of that, he was falling in love with her all over again.
"Argilla I…"
"Don't Serph. Don't tell me that you're sorry. Don't tell me that you didn't mean for any of these things to happen…or that you wish you could turn back time. It isn't your fault." she explained.
Serph's looked at her and blinked.
Argilla's cheeks then began to flush pink as he continued to gaze at her. Shaking her head, she continued the more "rational" explanation of Serph's sudden affection for her rather than just the emotional parts of it.
"What you feel…is perfectly normal. You…you spend a lot of your time with me. And me being the only female in your inner circle, it's most probable that…"
Serph shook his head.
Argilla may be perceptive and may be capable of reading him, but there were times that she read too deeply. At that moment, there she was once more, rambling on and on about technicalities and hiding the real explanation within the pages of her collegiate psychological technical jargon and mumbo-jumbo.
And what was more…was that, this time, she was wrong.
"Argilla."
The woman, who had now been rambling about the roots of behavioral psychology, suddenly froze.
This time, it had been him who had held her petite hand in his and spoke firmly, "I love you…as a person, first; as a human being. And it doesn't have anything to do with you being the only woman in my life right now. Other women just don't…compare to you. I love you because you are the only one who understands me the most…You know exactly how I feel and…you accept me for who I am."
Argilla was speechless; she couldn't speak. What was she to say now…?
Serph shook his head as he closed his eyes before opening them once more, staring deeply into the woman's pink orbs, "I…I love you."
"And I'm not asking for you to return that." he finished for her, "I just…I just…"
Argilla smiled weakly at him as he found it hard within himself to suddenly articulate himself before her.
And so, she decided to aid him.
"You just feel the need to release what you feel Serph; nothing more. Because you as well as I know that if you didn't…you'll explode and go crazy. Right…?"
Serph laughed at that, "Yea. You're right." At that point, he suddenly bolted upright and started to spew out his words, "But…but it's not that…I erm…eh…What I mean is… I ah…"
Argilla giggled; well it looked like that nothing had to change after all.
"It's okay Serph. We'll still be friends. Just like the way we were this morning! Nothing has to change…! I promise…!" she beamed.
"Yea. You're right." he affirmed, smiling weakly.
'Nothing has to change…?' he thought to himself.
That was a lie.
She knew it as well. But for the sake of maintaining their friendship, she dared not say it. No; and it wasn't because she was going to avoid him or run away. No; it was because she wanted to protect their friendship and act as if nothing had happened.
And at least, for that purpose, he appreciated her gesture.
xxxx
Argilla lay on her bed comfortably, making sure that she buried her face within her soft pillows. It had been a tiring day and an even tiring evening…
In more ways than one.
She groaned as the thought of the previous hour flooded within her mind. Serph had confessed his hidden feelings for her. And what did she do? Nothing.
And why should she do anything differently…?
Suddenly as she saw a flash of silver rush through her mind, her body tensed and her heart skipped a beat.
She knew of what she had promised to Serph; that nothing in their friendship would change…However, she also admitted that that wasn't completely truthful. There were bound to be changes in their behaviors…
Argilla groaned and turned around so that she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, "But that doesn't mean I'll just leave him…He's my friend after all. That's all that matters."
She then shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes, "Besides, it's just like being sick. For a few days you might feel a little bad and under the weather…but then plenty of rest and chicken soup will fix you right up! And Serph is no different…One day, he'll just wake up and laugh to himself…telling himself how silly it had all been to think that he had ever been in love with me. Hehehe…"
That was the way the girl had viewed the notion of love. Sure, she believed in the philosophy of everlasting love…however, she believed it in as much as she believed in God.
Just because that she believed in God did not mean that she would believe each and every Tom, Dick and Harry dressed in robes who called themselves as the Second Coming of Jesus Christ…!
And the same went through for the idea of love.
Love was something she always imagined and fantasized about…But it was never something that she could ever believe to be real…even if it were.
xxxx
"He told you huh…?"
Argilla nodded slowly.
It had been a special day. It had been another month that they had been together. It had been a quarter of a year now since they had ventured upon a relationship and Argilla was content…
That was why he had asked her for a special dinner. That was why she accepted. And now, they found themselves within an Italian restaurant.
Heat leaned back on his chair and spent a few moments in his thoughts before responding.
"And what did you say?" he asked slowly, his eyes intent on hers.
Argilla's gaze rose to meet his and blinked, "What is there to say? I can't just turn him away. He's practically my best friend Heat." she ended with a smile.
"Nothing has to change." she said offhandedly, "Besides, he isn't the lovesick romantic Casanova type of guy anyway."
Heat raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
Argilla sweat-dropped as she read skepticism and doubt within her boyfriend's countenance, "Reaaaallllyyyy Heat." she drawled, "The guy's practically married to his job."
Still having his eyebrow raised, the redhead crossed his arms and retorted, "Just like when you said that he was so much of a workaholic that it was unthinkable for him to fall for a girl."
Argilla's confidence plummeted at that statement.
He was right.
Despite that realization, the girl shut her eyes and her mind, refusing to hear any more. 'Serph's not like that. He told me about his feelings…and that's all there is to it. No more.' she internally reasoned, dismissing any further thought on the matter.
"Annyyyway," Argilla drawled, "we didn't come here to talk about Serph all night Heat."
At that, the redhead scratched the back of his head and gave the girl in front of him a sheepish smile, "I guess not."
"But one last thing though Argilla." Heat began, making sure to point out his thoughts before she started onto another topic.
"Yes Heat? What is it?" she asked, leaning slightly forward.
"Just make sure he knows where he stands with you. Alright?" Heat told her sternly.
Argilla blinked and leaned backwards before waving her hand dismissively, giggling a bit, "Sure, sure Heat. You don't even have to worry about that…"
xxxx
Argilla grabbed the phone and started to dial the number when she stopped midway. She blinked and looked at the number she had begun to dial…
It was Serph's number.
She didn't use to hesitate dialing his number whenever she had a doubt in her bank's policies…but now…
'Maybe I should just ask Yuni for clarification…' she thought as she bit her lower lip.
She froze however, as the sound of her own voice resounded in her head and she recalled her own previous dialogue.
"Nothing has to change…"
Right. Nothing had to change; nothing had to change between her and Serph. She then felt disappointed at herself. If that were true, then, why didn't she want to call him now? Why was she hesitating…? Why was she even having this internal debate?!
She sighed and shook her head. She had given her word that nothing between them had to change; the least thing she could do was honor that.
She nodded, "Right."
"Besides, there isn't a part of this that is personal anyway. This is purely about business." she spoke to herself sternly, steadfastly.
With renewed confidence, she dialed his number without hesitation and waited…
"Hello?"
"Serph…!" she chirped cheerfully, "Good morning."
"Good morning Argilla. What can I do for you?" he asked politely.
Argilla blinked; 'Too politely…' she thought suspiciously.
"Erm, account check please." she spoke.
"Alright. Give me the account number please."
"It's 001-78932-12." she breathed out, half caring on what her processor would say about the status of the account number that she had just given and is more intent on his tone of voice instead…
"Customer's name is…Montgomery…?" asked the processor.
"Right. And…?" Argilla frowned; something seemed to have changed in Serph's voice. She couldn't quite place it…but somehow, in one way or another, something had changed.
Sure, he was still exuberant in aiding her and was still polite…However, it would just seem to her that the whole thing seemed…artificial.
"Regular salary transfer, no liability…no nothing. It's clean. Propose the case." Serph told her, rousing the girl's thoughts from her daydream.
"Ah, alright. Thank you…" she trailed off, half hoping that Serph would take her hint and ask if anything was the matter…
"Alright. Bye."
The phone went dead even before she could speak. Now she was certain that her silver-haired friend had acted aloof about her. She frowned at that.
'Nah…It's just that the month-end had begun. There's a lot of pressure from their end.' she told herself.
'That seems plausible…Or it can be that he's avoiding you like the plague.' another part of her chimed in.
Again, she frowned.
It didn't matter what it was she thought. She would get the answer from Serph; in one way or another. She would strangle it out of him if she had to.
xxxx
The conversation had just ended and although he knew that the previous dialogue had been purely business, he couldn't help but feel the sting of embarrassment. It had been less than seventy-two hours since his confession to her and again, humiliation flooded his mind.
'My god. Just what have I said to her…?' he asked himself in shame.
He knew better than to actually reveal his secret. Unfortunately, she had caught him in his weakest state. That night had come with many issues that before he knew it, he had been spilling his guts out.
He sighed, massaging his temples and closed his eyes as he recalled the evening…
All the issues about Heat, Harley and the pressures of month-end had culminated into one very powerful and emotive moment for him that he could no longer hold himself back. She had been correct when she had stated that he had merely needed to release whatever pent-up frustrations and feelings that he had…
And in the end, his feelings had bypassed all of his inhibitions and internal restraints…
He told her what he felt.
And to his small amount of glee, it would seem that she had a premonition about such an event.
He didn't make a mistake though; she did know him…inside and out.
'Argilla…'
Truth be told that he would love nothing more than to speak more with her…like the way he used to do even after she had clarified her doubt. Before, they would goof about on the phone and joke around. But not now.
'And most probably not ever again.' he thought as he sighed.
"Oi. What's wrong with you?"
That was Yuni's voice from the next desk over.
Serph's eyes bolted, "Nothing. What is it?"
Yuni rolled his eyes, "I was asking you for the stapler."
"Right." the silver-haired man shakily reached for the aforementioned stapler and tossed it over.
'Right.' he repeated inwardly; he really should get back to work…
xxxx
Argilla looked at the calendar that lay on her desk before her. It was the weekend. She would ask Serph out. She knew that it was the month-end but she didn't care.
'Bear has been working there all week for more than twelve hours a day!! Surely that can't be good for him! He needs a timeout!' she steadfastly rationalized her sudden feeling of exuberance towards the prospect of liaising with her silver-haired admirer.
'Admirer…?!' she internally screamed.
'No, no…Friend…! F-R-I-E-N-D…!' she internally screeched.
Well, regardless, she would see him that evening. By hook or by crook.
She then grinned as she thought up the perfect excuse.
'The team needs more files right…? Well, then, he'd want these files. Hehehe…' she laughed within.
xxxx
He rubbed his eyes sleepily, stretching his muscles a bit as he felt the all too familiar tug of fatigue beginning to take hold of his body. He had been in that bloody office for over ten hours…
He sighed; it had just been him in that processing room. Yuni and their other colleagues had already left for the night while he remained.
Mortimer had specifically asked of him to remain and finish as much work as he could. And knowing himself and his predilection for the compulsion for the completion of his tasks, he found it impossible to refuse.
And so, it was just him and Mortimer who was in his office, monitoring the team's progress in the achievement of its target.
'Thirty million Macca by the end of the month…' he thought sleepily.
'Just a bit more and the team will reach it…Lesseee…' he drawled within, 'First set sent…Twenty-nine point six…and booked…?'
At that, he groaned, 'Booked is…Twenty-six million.'
'We still have a ways to go.' he thought as he stifled a yawn.
"Ne, ne…! Where do you want me to dump this crap boss…?" a cheerful and energetic female voice erupted within the room next to his.
'Argilla…?' he thought as he whipped around, looking at the doorway, 'She's here…?'
Without his consent, his heart leapt. However, as he realized his behavior did he once more scold himself.
He froze as he heard Mortimer's distinctive laugh. He chuckled at that. There was only one person who laughed like a hyena crossed with a boar. And that was their one and only team leader.
He then shook his head.
There was only one reason why Argilla was there. It was to deliver the files. What she talked with Mortimer about was none of his business.
He shrugged his shoulders as he heard more laughter and giggles.
He frowned as he found his curiosity mounting.
'None of my business…' he kept repeating to himself…
But, if that was so, then what was he doing standing outside Mortimer's office?
'Damn…' he cursed himself.
He turned around and took one step forward when he stopped when he heard the voices within the office.
"What perfume are you wearing?"
Serph raised an eyebrow; that was definitely Mortimer.
'Why would he want to know…?' he asked internally, frowning a bit.
"Erm why…?" a female voice responded; skepticism laced in her words.
Serph smiled a bit at that; Argilla wasn't exactly the woman who took compliments as they came…
She was usually cautious whenever people would give her such comments.
'Too cautious…' Serph thought.
"It's a damn good one…!" Mortimer responded as he chuckled.
Serph raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
"Erm…okay…Don't worry boss. I'll get you one so that you can wear it too!" chirped the girl which made Serph smile; wait, was she being sarcastic?
He shook his head and started to walk away once more when Mortimer's voice stopped him.
"Serph!" he bellowed from his office.
Serph immediately turned around and walked up to the door and knocked. He poked his head in and there met Argilla's pink eyes before his stare shifted over to Mortimer's black eyes, "Yes Mortimer."
"Take a look at Argilla's files and make sure they leave for the morning shift or you can toss it back at her face if there're discrepancies…!" he said jovially, laughing.
"Hey! That's mean!" Argilla pouted.
Serph chuckled and there looked at her, "Come. Let see those first and second sets."
She nodded and turned to Mortimer, "Later boss…!" she said cheerfully before leaving the room as she followed Serph.
Serph stopped as he reached his desk and there turned to face Argilla. He smiled at her, "How are you?" he asked politely, his lips set upon that tight smile that she knew full well as a façade.
She smiled back, "I'm fine. And yourself?"
He addressed her with a curt nod and responded, "As well as can be expected."
Right.
Argilla was disappointed; he sounded…robotic.
"Here are your files Serph. Three first sets and five second sets." she breathed out, still smiling.
Serph nodded and took the heavy envelops from her, "Alright. I'll just check them and make sure they leave in the morning shift."
Argilla bit her lip as she watched Serph turn away from her, his eyes glued onto the files that he had taken out from the envelops.
She knew that he had a lot on his mind and still had a lot of work to do…However, the month would not end for another three days. They still had time…!
'Rushing like this is crazy…!' she internally screamed; he shouldn't be there working…
"Oi! Guys, I'm turning in! See you guys tomorrow…!"
Both Argilla and Serph turned to see Mortimer wave at them as he turned and left.
"Goodnight boss!!" Argilla called on after him.
Soon, it was just her and Serph.
She looked around and noted the surroundings. Nothing had changed since she had left the office. She turned her attention back to Serph as she noted the deafening silence that had surrounded them.
"So…up to how long are you going to be here…?" she asked slowly, cautiously, as if she were treading upon thin ice.
Without looking up from the files that he was scrutinizing, Serph answered her flatly, "As long as I have to."
Argilla was getting irked.
His reply was something that was asking for a response from her side; a negative response.
"Let's go out." she said suddenly, shutting all the voices in her head that commanded to strangle her workaholic of a friend.
Argilla's vein popped out from her temple as she realized that her words had fallen over deaf ears.
"Serph, let's go out. Now." she said once more; her voice, this time, being commanding.
At that, Serph looked at her with a perplexed expression, "Pardon…?"
Argilla growled and grabbed onto the fabric of his polo shirt's sleeve, "I want to go! Out! Now!"
Serph, still wearing his confused look, stood and blinked, "You want me to escort you downstairs…? Alright."
"Ack!" Argilla exclaimed, thinking that she had gone half-mad, "Are you being an idiot again?!"
Serph shook his head, "Come again…? What exactly is it that you want…?"
Without waiting for his response, Argilla closed all the envelops and tugged at the male in front of her, "I want to go out with you. Right now…!" she whined.
At the sight of her desperate and eager facial expression and as he listened to her whiny and needy voice, the façade of cold indifference that he had been wearing thus far had finally crumbled and subsided, becoming his comfortable and honest self with her once more.
"Now? As in right now?" he asked, wanting to affirm what it had been that she had asked of him.
"Yesssss…!" she hissed, leaning towards him, "Right now!"
"But-"
"But nothing! Boss is already gone…! And the month wouldn't even end until three more days! You have plenty of time to check these files…!"
"Argilla…" he breathed out.
Argilla knew that he was going to spit out another of his lame excuses and so, she again interrupted him, "Yuni and the others are here to aid you, you know!? And the bank isn't going to close down just because you decided to take the night off…! And which, might I remind you, is your right!"
Serph sighed; she was right. Perhaps he could use a bit of fresh air…and a change of scenery…
He smiled a bit though as he looked at her; gladdened at her demonstration of genuine concern for him.
"Alright." he responded, conceding, "Where shall we go?"
Argilla smiled back at him; finally things between them were getting better.
"Anywhere but here."
xxxx
The two had gone out for dinner and were headed back home…Well, in Argilla's case, he was taking her back to the parking lot at the bank where she had left her car when they had decided to leave together.
Serph's car slowly rolled onto a stop as they reached the aforementioned parking lot and there again, the two were surrounded with silence.
"Serph?" and again, it had been her who had broken the thin veil of solitude.
"Yes?"
"I had a good time tonight." she whispered.
Serph, who had thus far been looking through the glass of his windshield, turned to his companion and flashed his endearing smile, "I had a good time too. Thank you for that…"
Argilla giggled, "Anytime. Besides, you really needed it…"
"Aha…!" he chuckled.
"Besides," Argilla grinned, "I knew you'd be here…and I needed an excuse to see you."
Serph shook his head as he continued to laugh, "So you used the month-end pressure to accomplish your objective." he stated as-a-matter-of-factly.
"I guess you can say that…Besides…" she trailed off, now fiddling with her fingers as she cast her head downwards.
Serph tilted his head to the side, "Besides what?"
She sighed and looked at him once more, "I really missed you."
The gentle smile that had graced the silver-haired man's lips slowly began to fade as he heard her words and felt the heavy tension and anxiety imbedded within the aforementioned words and sighed, "I…I missed you too."
"Yea right!" the female suddenly chirped, taking a one-hundred-eighty-degree turn from her previous demeanor that would've caught any other man off guard…! But not him; never him.
"Huh…" he breathed out, closing his eyes as he shook his head, "You…you think in that way…?" he asked slowly, whispering the last word.
Argilla crossed her arms and huffed defiantly, "Think nothing! Boy I know it!"
She knew that he was taking it way too seriously but she was there in order to give him relief from stress; not induce it further by reminding them of their emotional conundrum…
'I'm just teasing…' she thought as she stole a peek at him.
"Argilla I…" he started to say but stopped as he peered deeply into her eyes; reading them.
Argilla blinked, "Serph…What is it?"
He shook his head, "Nothing. Well, have a good evening. I'll talk to you tomorrow." he said, turning to his side; away from her questioning stare.
Argilla nodded; he was sending her away. She wasn't daft; she could feel the apprehension rise within the cabin of the car. And she could feel the thick air and the heavy pressure of the emotions that seemed to pour out of them both…
And it would seem that neither he nor she can tolerate it.
"R-right…" she stammered as she turned on her right side and reached for the door's handle, feeling a prick of mixed pain and disappointment.
She had opened the door and began to push out when his voice stopped her.
"Argilla…!"
Turning her head back to face him, she gave him yet another perplexed glance, "Hm? What is it Serph…? Something I can do for you?"
Totally lost within her sparkling pink pools and letting his emotions be his guide, the silver-haired man leaned towards her slightly and spoke in a deep and low voice, "Can I…can I hold your hand…?"
Argilla blinked; she had heard him clearly alright. But she was…astonished.
A part of her wanted to laugh at the man in front of her as she reckoned such a request to be unbelievably…unbelievably…
'Unbelievably lame…' she thought.
But at the same time, as she looked and peered into his silver eyes that were filled with need and so much desperation, she couldn't help but concede to his strange yet endearing request and slowly extended her hand in order to meet his outstretched one.
Serph's lips slowly tugged upwards as he felt her hand in his. His eyes then traveled downwards and he looked at their intertwined hands, before whispering once more, "Thank you…"
She didn't know what she was making him feel at that moment. He knew how ridiculous he must've sounded in her ears…But he could only pray that she understood why he asked for what he had asked for.
At that point, as their skin touched did he feel the affinity between them. He knew that it was a simple act, but to him…it meant the world.
Argilla smiled in return, feeling her heart sink and warm up as she saw the unadulterated gratefulness and appreciation in his eyes…
But that wasn't all.
She smiled because she saw happiness within them.
'It's not lame…Not at all…' she thought as she realized the very essence of his request.
It may have been an insignificant thing for her. Hands that touched were common…and not even worth mentioning about. But it was different for them. It was different for him.
It was astonishing for her to learn how such a trivial gesture as the touch of her hand could incite such powerful feelings of pleasure and happiness within the man…But as she thought more of his background and his culture, the more it made sense…
And once more, as she felt Serph's hand tighten its hold on her hand did she repeat her thoughts, 'It's not lame…Not at all…'
xxxx
