Chapter 9

A hot time at the old Town tonight

DAVE

I had never seen Mindy this excited. She had absolutely no patience as she practically dressed me in my costume, because as she said I was to slow. Goddamn it Mindy...

When I was dressed I took my bowie knife from the display as well as my three bladed trench knife and after I sheathed them, I walked to the door, taking care to hit the button in the closet and the display was hidden once again. I walked past Mindy who was still fangirling and picked up the shotgun from my bed. After I holstered it I moved to the door with Mindy following me.

"Wait you smiling asshole, we can't use the front door."

I smiled in my mask

"Not to worry... There is no one leaving in this floor except me." I said pushing into the elevator.

"Seriously dude,... We're in our costumes, what if someone calls the elevator from another floor?"Mindy hissed angrily.

I didn't answer, I just took out a key from one of my pouches and pushed it into a key hole which located above the bell button. With that the elevator just started descending.

Mindy just looked at the key, in glee, and then back at me.

" You made an express elevator?? That's fucking awesome man!!"she said all giddy.

I chuckled.

" Actually Todd helped me install this. It wasn't cheap neither. I had to bribe the landlord a pretty penny. But nothing compared to what you are about to see. "

"Explain!!" Mindy said half crazed with excitement. She really knew she was in for a treat.

"Well this is an old building and it had an underground garage which the landlord had shut down years ago. Mindy didn't speak but I could tell she was ready to burst.

" So" I continued, "I payed some workers and had the garage tunnel go about a mile and surface at the local junk yard so nobody could trace my cars back to me. "

" Cars? " Mindy breathed, jumping up and down. Just then the door to the elevator opened. I pulled the key off the elevator keyhole and smiled at Mindy.

" Welcome to the Kick-Cave, Hit Girl. "

MINDY

I squealed as I walked in the garage. It was huge!! It was the size of a football field. At one corner I could see a gun range, at the other a rather massive training mat with punching bags. At the third corner there was a remote control door that led to the exit tunnel. I could also see a couple of cars. I raced over there as fast as I could. There was a four-door black pick-up truck with regular plate numbers. It didn't take a genius to figure out this was Dave's regular car. Then my eyes turned to the large nylon black blanket. I pulled it off and I almost fainted out of excitement.

Under the blanket was a green 1969 Charger!!!Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!!! It was fucking RAD!! Upon closer inspection I found out that the car was also armored. The windshield, and all the windows were bulletproof and black-tinted. The front of the car was filled with sharp spikes. AWESOME! I looked back only to find that Kick-Ass wasn't behind me anymore. I looked around and I saw a huge truck container, with a half opened door. I walked over there while passing another nylon blanket, this time covering something much bigger as it was truck sized. However that would have to wait. I pulled open the door and I almost fucking pissed myself out of happiness!! The container had laboratory lights, air-condition, and last but not least a huge variety of guns, blades and grenades.

"Welcome to the Armory Hit Bitch." Kick-Ass said laughing.

I was speechless as I took in all the guns. It wasn't as big as my armories in my previous safe houses, but it was still awesome. There were AK 47 rifles, AR 15 rifles, various submachine guns, pistols, and a massive selection of shotguns. There were everything from Ithaca shotguns , Benneli M-4, SPAS-12,SPAS-15, Remington, Saiga and even AA-12 fully automatic shotgun. I looked at Dave, who was getting his trusty Sig Sauer p226 pistol with a threaded barrel, down from the wall and holstering it.

"So, you have a prefrence Mr 12 Gauge!"

Dave chuckled.

"OK I confess, I am a shotgun guy". He laughed

"I noticed." I smiled

"So, did you pick your poison?"

I immediately looked around and picked a micro uzi and a Beretta Px4 Storm Sub-Compact. That was when Kick-Ass laughed.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Glad to see you're not carrying a pair 25 caliber pistols no more." he said laughing his ass of.

I turned red immediately.

"I had small hands OK?? They were better for me to grab onto!!"

Dave just stopped for a second and started laughing even more. It took me a while to figure out the sexual innuendo. I was furious. The fact that the stupid fucking voice changer was altering his laugh, made me all the more angry. I hopped on Dave, sending both of us to the work bench and then I proceeded to struggle him while banging his head onto the wall. Of course with the helmet he wasn't feeling much and continued to laugh like there was no tomorrow.

"Shut the fuck up, you bastard!!" I said but laughed anyway.

"I'm sorry it was pretty funny."

Then he lifted me up, and with me still on him he opened a small box which was glued to the wall. Inside were various keys. He took out the one which had a small folding knife attached to the key chain and waved it in front my face.

" Wanna drive? " I grabbed the keys and run to the car so fast, I think I left a trail of fire behind me. And I was giggling again. I'm ashamed of myself...

I opened the door and hopped in giddily, as I put the key into the ignition and starting the car.

" Hurry up, you smiling asshole!" I shouted as Kick-Ass got into the passenger sit. The seats were all purple!!

Dave must have sensed what I was thinking so, he beat me to it.

"Yes that was another thing I did to remember you." he said.

"Now, punch it gorgeous!!"

I put my foot down and sped through the tunnel and out the junk yard. I noticed in the rear view mirror, that the door had closed automatically ;a door on top of which Dave had superglue enough rusty metal pieces, to make it look like it was part of the scenery. God he really had his big boy pants on!!

"So where are we going partner?" I asked.

Dave, typed a location in the GPS. "I've been trying to track the Goddess down ever since that fucking bitch, sent a Hit Girl wannabe to kill me." he said

I found out that she owned a bar that is pretty much a hangout for a bunch of mobsters. We can get some information there and also have some fun. Together."

I smiled but then remembered something. "Hey, didn't fake Hit Girl try to hump you? Please elaborate."

Even with his mask on, I could sense that Dave was blushing like mad. And I absolutely loved it.

"Well... It was... I mean... You know what, change the subject."

"Like hell I'm gonna change the subject!! Tell me!" I said smiling like mad as I sped through the empty road.

Kick-Ass groaned and finally spoke.

"Well I was at my father's place picking up some stuff, when she pushed me onto my bed and started kissing me...She must have entered via window. She never said anything, so I thought it was you... Then she pulled a knife out of her boot and tried to pull a Basic Instict on me. I broke her arm took the knife and cut her goddamn throat. "he said rather quickly. Shy bastard.

" The same happened to my Safe House back in San Paolo. A Kick-Ass imposter walked in my Room and tried to go all sweet with me before he spoke and gave himself away. His voice was different. Whoever the Goddess is she obviously wanted us to die with a final pleasure. "

Then I grinned at Kick-Ass.

" Glad, I got to kiss the real one. "

Kick-Ass placed his hand on my thigh.God,that made me go crazy...

" Oh we did more than just kissing Hot Girl... "

My face suddenly felt very hot.

I decided, I wanted to change the subject now.

" So what's with the drawn on smile."

Kick-Ass, took some time before he answered.

" I wanted to look like the Mask."

I blinked..." Please tell me you didn't fuck up your helmet because of a Jim Carrey movie." I said rolling my eyes.

Kick-Ass then looked at me." Of course not! "he said.

" The Mask from the comic book which was a killer and absolutely horrifying. "

" Wait! The Mask was a comic book? "

" Yes, a dark, violent and extremely mature comic book. "he answered filled with pride.

" OK, in that case you are forgiven, and I really need to read it. "

" We're here, Hit Girl. "

I parked the car a block away from the bar and got to the back door of the building. There was a skylight.

" OK Purply , how do you want to do this?"

"Call me Purply again and I will rip your fucking balls off!!" I growled.

Then I had an idea... "I'll go through the skylight, and you go in heavy, through the door."

Kick-Ass studied me for a minute.

"You just want to use my grapple gun don't you?"

My possessed smile seemed to have told him everything.

"No."

"Why the fuck not???"

"You don't know how to use that thing"

"Oh kiss my ass, since when did we let that stop me?" I pushed.

"Oh fine... Just don't scream this time." he said with a chuckle.

After flipping him off, I took the gun and aimed it at the fire escape. Then I went up... Really, really fast.

I almost screamed out of joy! That fucking thing was awesome!! This was as close as I could get, to a Batman moment.

"OK you masked beauty, you see the fucking asshole behind the bar?" Kick-Ass asked over the comms.

I smiled, from ear to ear at the compliment and scouted the room through the skylight. I saw a wannabe gangster in an orange suit, having drinks with the bar woman. There were also a bunch of assholes playing poker on a very-conveniently-placed-under-the-skylight table.

"OK, I have five assholes at the poker table, and that orange cunt."

"Good, now we need Mr Orange alive... For the time being..." then I heard Kick-Ass drawing a long breath and saying :"Go get them Hit Girl, I missed watching you work."

God, keep saying things like that, big guy and I'll need a change of UNDERWE-STOP IT MINDY!! Work now play later...

I jumped through the skylight, perfectly landing on the poker table, raining sharp glass, down with me.

What the fuck!!! One man screamed, a large glass piece embedded itself in his hand.

"You assholes missed me?" I quipped while drawing my swords and decapitation the two men were in front of me, while stabbing the third through the chest, practically splitting his left lung along with his heart in two.

"Holly fuck!!! She's supposed to be gone!!" Another one screamed as the last remaining three raced for the door. I smiled. I knew what was waiting for them... Tthe door literally exploded in splinters and I saw the massive form of Kick-Ass 2 in all his glory, trench coat and all. I stood there like a fangirl watching him, drawing his p226 and shooting the first one in the fucking head . The other one picked up a broken piece of wood and tried whacking him to the head. Big mistake if you ask me, since Kick-Ass just seized his arm and broke it. And I mean BROKE IT! He punched his elbow in and the bone came out through the forearm veins. It made a sickening crunch sound too. AWESOME. Then Kick-Ass took the wooden piece and drove it, up through his chin and out that cunts motherfucking eye!! Holly shit!! I was starting to get dump again. He left the body drop to the floor and drew his trench knife. The last man took out a 38 snub nose and shot Kick-Ass 4 times. He just, shrugged it of, picked him up and plunged the 3 bladed weapon into his jagular coming out from the other side of the neck. Then he TWISTED the knife and pulled it out. Warm blood splattered everywhere, some even got me in the face. Fuck, I missed the feeling of that... Dave was fucking spectacular! His voice snapped me out, before he grabbed, and dove behind a pool table. Heavy machine gun fire came from the bar ripping chunks off, our cover.

"The fucking bar bitch has a cocksucking machine gun!!"

"Yeah and you have armor piercing rounds..." Kick-Ass said gesturing towards my holsters.

I blinked.

"Oh... Oooooohhh... You beautiful bastard!" I said grinning like mad and drawing my berreta. I fired half a dozen rounds at the lower section of the bar. The woman screamed in agony, dropping the M16 and dissappearing behind the bar.

"I got her legs!" I yelled as I raced towards the counter with Kick-Ass hot on my heels. The bitch had received 2 bullets in her leg and one in the stomach. The other 3 had missed.

The orange bastard hopped on the counter to escape but he shot back, crashing into the glass shelves, cutting his back rather badly.

"Nice kick, Kick-Ass." I laughed.

"Thank you." Kick-Ass growled, stepping behind the counter with us.

"Have we got your attention, motherfucker? I growled.

" Fuck you bitch! " the man screamed.

Kick-Ass pulled an old fashioned blender from beneath bar the and smashed him in the face, leaving the blender with only the blades attached as the glass was buried into the asshole's face.

" The lady asked you a question." he said.

"Jesus Christ, you fuckers!!". He screamed in pain. "I'm not telling you shit!!"he shouted.

" OK enough I said grabbing his jaw making him look at me. "I want you to watch what I do closely." I said. "If you don't talk you get the same."

"I grabbed the whimpering bar woman, which had been shooting at us and sawed him my middle finger with the razor sharp metal nail. Then I placed it on her throat and violently pulled, slitting her throat from ear to ear. Blood shot onto the screaming man while he tried to move out of the spray, but Kick-Ass held him in place.

"Noooooooo, please!! Stop it!! I beg of you!" He whimpered.

I grabbed him by the collar and placed the same nail to his throat.

"Give me what I want and you have my word. I won't kill you."

"Anything, please."

"Who the fuck is the Goddess?" I asked

"I don't know, I'm just an underling. I take my orders from a guy named Eddie, he lives over at 5TH AND J. He is one that knows some of her lieutenants. I also know that she has history with both of you."

I looked at Kick-Ass and let the scumbag go. "Thank you. " I said

"You want to have this one? I did make him a promise, and I'd love to watch you work."

"What??!

Kick-Ass picked up the remains of the blender, which at this time was only blades attached to a plug in.

" Hey scumbag, what's your favorite metal band?" Kick-Ass asked.

" Please, noooooooo "

" Mine is Motorhead. " he said, and with that he stuck the blender into the top of the fucker's head and then plugged the blender into the power. The blender turned on making smoothie of this guys brain and splattering blood and brain matter everywhere.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. In all my years as a vigilante I never, killed someone like that. I just couldn't stop watching.

Kick-Ass pulled the plug when the blades had cut so deep into the man's skull, that his eyes fell off. Oh God!! That was magnificent.

"Let's go Hit Girl." Kick-Ass said

I was silent and just followed Dave to the car, looking at him with glee in my eyes, from the moment he started it, to the moment we were putting our suits back to the display in his closet. That was when he called me on it.

" Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Like what?" I asked with a dreamy voice.

"Like you want to pounce on me, and fucking devour me..."

"Well..." I said dropping my underwear and lying on the bed "... You tell me."

Dave smiled and joined me, our bodies touching under the duvet, making me all tingly.

We kissed the rest of the night away.

Author note : hey guys u think I'm done with my tests so I'll be uploading more often. Also I corrected my mistakes in the previous chapters. Feel free to read them. Enjoy and let me know how you like this one.