"Rose?" He knocked on her door, barely tapping the wood with his knuckles. He didn't make a habit of this, honestly, coming into her room after she went to sleep, but there was an itch in his system; something wasn't right. "You OK?" She shifted, mumbling for her Doctor with the urgency of a fire alarm in a theater. "Shh, I'm here. Not going anywhere."
"I'm sorry, Rose." The Doctor looked at his hands sadly. He'd considered the golden light beautiful once, the particles evidence of his race's resilience. Now it meant death. It didn't matter that The Doctor would come back, alive and vibrant as ever. It wouldn't be him. The Doctor that came back would never be able to love Rose as much as he did.
"Don't go. Please don't go." She was crying—he hated it, hated that he was making her cry and he wouldn't even live long enough to fix it.
She was shifting, sniffling in her sleep. The Doctor smoothed her hair down with his thumb, wishing he could go into the dream and make things right. What was she fighting right now? And why wasn't he there?
"Rose Tyler." He said her name. "Rose Tyler." And again, feeling it, letting it go like the breath before a birthday wish. "I love you."
"And I love you." The particles engulfed his hands.
"I don't have much time. Stand back."
"No." He pushed himself away from her. "No! Don't go! Please!"
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You'll hurt me just by leaving!"
"Rose, please!" She took his hands anyway, kissed both of them before he was fully gone. Tears crawled down her face. Gravity seemed slow here, everything seemed on hold except the regeneration. And it wasn't fair.
"What will I do without you?" But The Doctor never got to answer her question. Light burst from his face, and Rose doubled over. Her Doctor was lost, gone, faded. Someone was taking his place.
"Shh. It's OK, Rose. It's OK." Rose woke up to The Doctor's voice. He'd climbed onto her bed and taken her into his arms, rocking them both like she was a toddler. He looked down at her. "You're safe now."
Rose blinked. She ran a hand along the side of his face.
"It's really you?"
"Of course it's me." Relief sunk in and she let her hand drop. "Rose, what were you up against? What made you so sad?" He whispered to her. She tried to settle, to convince herself that this was real.
"You…regenerated." The Doctor closed his eyes. His Rose, his perfect Rose. The nightmare that haunted her was losing him.
"I'm not letting that happen." He hugged her tighter, resolved to keep her in his arms the rest of this night. "As long as you're around, Rose Tyler, I'm not going anywhere without you."
