I couldn't think of anything else to say or do other than apologise over and over. Kakashi was holding onto me so tightly; as though he thought I was going to disappear. Indeed, I could not believe that this was happening so abruptly.

I couldn't just stand like this anymore. I leaned back so I could look him in the eye, but in doing so, saw that his eyes were closed.

"Please say something. Yell. I'm sorry. I had to go."

When he finally looked at me, his gaze was distant and tired. Despite the shock of it all, I was started to notice the physical toll my actions had taken on him.

"Kakashi…" I pleaded.

He looked different that I remembered. Even just in touching him, I could feel how thin he had become. He looked tired, and older, though he still had his mask on. But despite all that, I knew the moment I saw him that my feelings had not changed. As much as I tried to stifle them over the last few years, they were back in force. Too bad I'd probably ruined everything.

And then he was back; his eyes focused, and the beginnings of a frown began to form. He tugged his mask down, and my breath hitched. He was just as beautiful as ever.

"You should have told me." He said wearily. He let me go, though he didn't move away.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry-,"

"You've said that already."

I almost couldn't bear the edge in his voice, though I knew I deserved whatever anger and resentment he had towards me. I, after all, had been the one to volunteer for this. I took a shuddering breath, and tried a different tact.

"I didn't want you to wait around for me, thinking that I'd be back. I didn't want you sitting around for two years waiting to come and get me; I didn't think I'd survive."

His gaze moved away from my face – he seemed to be looking at my throat. I bent my knees slightly, to look him in the eye.

"Kakashi?"

He glanced at me, but resumed staring at my throat. A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I didn't want to cause you anymore pain,' I mumbled, 'but I can see I was wrong-,"

"How did you get that scar?" He asked flatly.

I frowned and looked down.

"What scar-,"

I suddenly realised what he was talking about. I saw the wound I had inflicted over two years ago with the knife Tsunade had given me. I frantically tried to think of a nice way of explaining it, but drew a blank.

Kakashi, however, seemed to have noticed his own lack of a scar, which was mighty unusual for someone almost stabbed through the heart, no matter what kind of healer had worked on him afterwards. He had worked out what I had done the moment he saw it.

"God, Mai. How could you have been so stupid – you could have killed yourself-,"

He cared. I lunged at him and caught his lips.

He stumbled slightly in surprise, but that only lasted a split second. His arms were back around me in a moment, and he kissed me back just as desperately. My skin tingled at his touch, and I melted into him. His hand buried themselves in my hair, keeping me close.

As if I was going anywhere now.

I hugged him closer, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt – we were going to tear each other apart…

Somewhere nearby a twig snapped, and we stopped immediately. I watched him carefully, and his eyes roamed all over my face. He finally released me, and I reluctantly let go of him.

"Later" He said quietly. He was right; this was not the time or place. I nodded and swallowed hard.

Kakashi moved away, shaking his head slightly.

"There's a meeting point a few miles from here. We should get moving."

"'Kay" I answered. I was embarrassed to realise my voice was faint and breathless.

Get it together, Mai.

I cleared my throat and grinned.

"Okay. Let's go."


I smiled shyly at him as we cleared the thick forest. Maybe everything really would work out. I could have a home again, and perhaps even work things out with Kakashi.

There was undoubtedly a beating awaiting my return on Tsunade's behalf, but after all I had endured, it wouldn't be that bad.

She'd want to know all the details, especially of missions I had avoided telling her about. I'd done things I wasn't proud of over the last two years, and I would need to explain all of it. And then there were the villagers – what would they think?

We arrived at the Wasteland, the meeting point just up ahead.

Though I was deep in my thoughts, Kakashi's flung out arm was unnecessary. I had sensed them before I saw them, and was already screeching to a halt.

"Ah."

Twenty survivors of the Mercenaries stood silently before us, fringing the Wasteland. The rest of Team Konoha faced them, staunch and unyielding. Whatever spell of false peace they were under broke upon our arrival. Many pairs of eyes flickered in my direction, though still no one moved.

Asuma and Gai had their backs to me, as well as six other Konoha Nin. I licked my lips, sorting through the mercenaries mentally. I recognised some of them, though my knowledge on their abilities was somewhat limited – most of these members were from other Akatsuki bases around the world.

Kakashi moved slightly ahead of me, blocking me from sight.

I knew it was hopeless. We would lose this fight; Konoha nin were outnumbered two to one, and after the mass shadow clone attack, I was willing to bet that my rescuers were running low on chakra by this point.

"Unless you are planning to be carried home in pieces, I suggest you leave now." Asuma said calmly as he lit another cigarette. A few of the enemy smiled menacingly at him, though the majority were unaffected.

The tension was palpable, as either side measured the other. I could feel their eyes sweep over Kakashi and settle on me.

"What's the job?" I asked, snapping the enemy to attention. They looked more surprised by my address than Asuma's.

They appeared unwilling to answer, and some shuffled nervously.

"Kisame's orders." A hoarse voice sliced through the crowd. Kade appeared silently front and centre, bandages back in place on his mouth. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Oh. You're still alive. Excellent." I answered dryly. Kakashi's hands tightened into fists.

"Unfortunately for you,' Kade hissed, 'and because you missed your opportunity to take my head, I'm going to take yours. Kisame is quite angry…"

The group started to fan out. Many looked annoyed at Kade's words.

The Konoha Nin remained motionless, though their eyes were alert. Fingers twitched towards kunai holsters, and some braced themselves for attack.

"And the reward?" I asked.

The clash of metal against metal made me jump; Kakashi blocked the offending kunai like lightening, and it clattered to the ground. My attacker remained hidden amongst the mercenary ranks, though Kade's eyes narrowed in a menacing smile. The mercenaries glanced at each other suspiciously, also searching for the perpetrator.

"Your head…For the next place in Akatsuki."

And as though Kade had given the instruction to attack, the enemy ninja leapt at us.

Two of the Konoha Nin I didn't recognise summoned shadow clones the moment Kade finished speaking, which held off the attack for perhaps a few seconds. Next, Asuma and Gai charged in, using Taijutsu to flatten the front runners.

Kakashi's arm swept above my head, and I heard someone choke and crash to the ground as he clothes-lined the ninja who had ran around. A smoke bomb went off somewhere in front of us, and Kakashi began to weave signs. A double appeared beside him, which made hand signs the moment it was created. I stood in shock and disbelief at my situation.

"What the fu-,"

The clone grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the ground. The original Kakashi summoned his Chidori as he ran away through the smoke.

"Take a breath." The clone said to me, before it dragged me below the ground.

It didn't stop to talk again, instead pulling me back in a direction away from the battle. I could hear muffled shouts and thuds above my head. It was pitch black, and I ran blindly after Kakashi; the earth parting for us as we moved. I shut my eyes tight to stop the dirt blinding me later, and I didn't dare open my mouth to ask where we were going.

No matter where we ran, no matter how far Kakashi thought he could take me on one gulp of air, it would never be far enough away from the Akatsuki. Not with a promise like Kisame's.

I frowned in the dark. What the hell had Itachi been thinking? How could he let Kisame do this to me?

Sure, I understood that he had to keep up appearances, but to risk so much and then let me get caught so quickly, what was the point?

Why would he let Kisame send these assholes…

There was an explosion above me, followed by the sound of a destroyed shadow clone. Light pierced my eyelids. I barely had time to blink before someone reached down and grabbed me by the throat.

I was yanked up out of the hole recently created and tossed beside it. The battle was thick around me, though no one seemed to realise that I had reappeared.

Kade stood above me, flexing his fingers, his dark eyes twitching wildly.

"You know, I should have beaten you to death with your other arm when I had the chance." I spat, scrambling to my feet.

"Hindsight is a great thing. But still, too bad." He snarled. He ripped the coverings from his mouth.

I ducked a little too late. A jet of black spewed from his mouth and grazed my arm. I didn't cry out, only barely keeping my wits. My flesh was seared and bloody where his attack had hit. I hit the ground and grabbed at my arm in pain. The wound throbbed angrily; I had been hit with pure chakra. There was no time to reassess my situation; Kade's leg came crashing down on me. This time, I was prepared. I stabbed my kunai into his calf and twisted it viciously.

I whipped around him as he fell backwards and caught his other leg. I twisted his ankle in way it shouldn't, mid-fall, and hyper-extended the joint.

I turned to run, only in time to duck someone else's attack. The Kunoichi did not recover her momentum in time, and I retaliated with a chakra coated chop to her wind-pipe.

But beyond her, others were coming, and the Konoha Nin were locked in battle. Clones were running around, helping where they could, but they were becoming easier and easier to destroy. Fatigue must have been setting in now, and my mouth went dry when one of the Konoha clones disappeared without even being touched.

We were going to lose.

Itachi, how could you let him…

And then it clicked.

It was just one last training match; he thought I could beat these guys. It was like an epiphany; I stood there in shock, staring dazedly at the advancing enemy. One man finally broke ranks and charged. I weaved signs, and used my fire-palm jutsu. I stretched out my arm and the last moment, and caught his face. I pushed him away, making him fall at his comrade's feet. A few looked hesitant; glancing at their teammates mutilated face, but the others took this as an invitation.

I crouched into a battle stance, and started running scenarios through my mind. Within seconds I found the weak-link, and the ones I could take out hard and fast.

But before anyone could attack, a jet of black came from behind, and ripped up the ground before the enemy.

"Get back you greedy bastards, she is mine."

I wasn't fast enough this time; Kade hit me over the head, and knocked out my vision for a moment. I fell forward, hard. He kicked me onto my back. I blinked rapidly, and saw his ugly face bearing down. I tried to roll away, but again black light burned the ground and blocked my escape.

Kade pulled out a kunai at leisure and admired it in his pale clammy hand. He placed a heavy foot on my chest, and bent down. Kade set the blade on my neck, exerting the slightest bit of pressure; just enough to draw blood.

"Now don't look so mad, kid. You always had this coming."

I scowled up at him, though I was oddly calm. I tuned out Kade's menacing words and listened to my slow steady heartbeat. Heat crept through my veins, and hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to kill you just yet. First I'm going to murder your little hero squad there. And that boyfriend of yours, he's pissed me right off. I'm going to slaughter them, Mai. And you're going to watch. Then we're going back to headquarters, and I'm going to give you to Akatsuki. Alive."

I glared up at him. My heart rate was rising, though it had nothing to do with his words.

"No." I answered simply, "No you're not."

He appeared amused, and he lowered himself further.

"Oh? And what makes you think-,"

I jerked up and crashed my forehead with his. His head snapped back, and his grip on the knife loosened. I wrestled it away and plunged it up and under his rib cage.

I sensed the others surge towards me in one unanimous movement when it finally happened. Somewhere deep inside me there was a low crack. Molten energy welled inside my core, before all at once it detonated roared through me with such violence, I was sure I would be ripped apart. My chakra radiated and intensified with every heart beat. I watched the enemy scramble to halt their attack, but it was too late. A resounding pulse of white light signalled the Hou-ou's return; it knocked the attacking ninja off their feet.

My hair blew about my face, though it did nothing to impair my vision. This power, this vast increase in…in everything about me. I had forgotten what it had felt like to be with the Hou-ou – it was as though I had been wondering through a world of black and white and had finally returned to full colour.

My chakra was enormous. With it fanning out from me, I could feel every single person around me. I knew precisely where everyone was, recognised friend from foe, clone from real in a single second. I didn't need hand signs now, clones of my own peeled away from me, and moved silently and surely towards my teammates.

I focused my attention to my hands, and began to concentrate my chakra. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, though nothing else. I had noticed people shouting around me, though their mouths were soundless. It was as if I were trapped in a vortex of my own power; nothing beyond me mattered anymore.

It was easy to make the bomb now. It grew large, hovering slightly above my palm. It didn't shudder anymore, and I knew my days of fearing I would blow off a limb using this attack were over. The others were barely moving now, though their faces slowly moved from expressions of wonder to fear.

Somewhere around me, my clones reached their targets and embraced them. They fanned their chakra over the Konoha Nin, and shielded them from what was to come.

My heart was beating impossibly fast, and my ears were ringing. I thought for a moment I heard the Hou-ou cry, but a new sound cut out everything else. My bomb was starting to screech, and rotate on its axis. I finally looked up, and saw that the enemy had moved to run away, but they were too slow for me now.

I raised my other hand above the bomb, and compressed it down to almost miniscule scale. The screeching increased to an unbearable pitch, and the bomb was almost burning my palms. If not for the Hou-ou, I'd have killed myself by now…

I smiled down into my precious attack, and thought of all the pain of the last few years. Of what I had done for Akatsuki and Konoha. The nightmare my life had slipped in and out of.

I opened my hands, and watched the bomb uncurl before me.

My last thought before the wall of fire hit was of Itachi – I sure hoped he had been right.


Kakashi watched a crater rupture beneath Mai's feet and threw earth into the sky. She did not flinch at the explosion, though she stood in the middle. His Sharingan caught the path of the impact of the bomb, and his heart nearly stopped when he saw the impact turn to fire. She disappeared amongst the flames, and he lunged towards the spot on which she had stood.

Strong hands dug into his shoulder blades and pressed his arms to his sides. A clone had appeared in front of him and held him fast. His vision was entirely consumed with whiteness, though he sensed the wall of fire approach. It swept over him, and though he felt the heat hit his face, he was entirely unharmed.

And then it was over, the clone disappeared, and he heard the sound of several others dissipating.

The battlefield was silent, apart from the odd cough in the distance. Smoke hung about him, though Kakashi could sense still sense movement. He hurried silently towards the enormous crater Mai had created, stepping over the odd charred body of mercenaries. He could hear others moving towards Mai, and cast a cursory glance over the area.

He recognised his teammate's chakra instantly, and continued.

Gai was at the edge of the crater looking down. Kakashi reached him, and followed his gaze. Asuma was already in the pit, checking Mai's pulse. She was entirely uninjured, and her colour had returned to normal.

Asuma sighed, and fell backwards into a sitting position.

"She's asleep."

Some of the smoke cleared, and Kakashi could see that it was the truth. Mai lay curled in the middle of the pit in the foetal position, with a small smile on her face.

Gai swallowed hard.

"…Holy Shi-,"

"Yeah." Kakashi murmured.


"Ooooooow."

Everything was black. I couldn't remember where I was, or where I had fallen asleep. Where was Itachi? Surely it was time to get up now…Why did they have to pick such a crappy place to stay before the Pact, I had no idea what the time was in this darkness.

"Mai"

A voice floated somewhere above me.

Was someone in my room?

I winced, trying to focus on where the voice came from. Surely it was one of the mercenaries who had snuck in when Itachi went to sleep. I tried to lift myself out of bed, but found that my limbs were like lead.

I groaned involuntarily. God, I was so tired…and sore. My muscles felt three times their size, as though they had been systematically pounded.

"Mai, can you open your eyes?"

My eyes are open, dumbass. You should just hurry up and turn on the lights, I thought bitterly.

Still the location of the voice eluded me, but I could hear other, quieter ones around me now. How many people had managed to sneak into my room?

Suddenly a new voice emerged, deep and familiar.

"Mai…wake up." It ordered. Who did they think they were? Bossing me around like that. I must have scowled, because someone else spoke.

"Ha, look at her face, she remembers you then" A man said cheerfully. I could smell smoke…and disinfectant. Where was I again?

I clawed my way to full consciousness, though it brought even more pain to my limbs. My head throbbed angrily, though I was able to think slightly clearer.

I was lying on something soft, but I wasn't outside. I could feel sheets beneath my finger tips, and there was a stabbing pain in the crook of my right arm. I could hear the breathing of several people around me.

I concentrated all my energy into opening my eyes, and was momentarily blinded by the fluorescent light above my head.

Gai, Asuma, Kurenai stood around my bed. Kakashi was further away, leaning against the window sill.

My words died in my throat. I was in hospital; surrounded by…I was back in Konoha?

I looked quickly towards the window; my neck clicking as I did so. I ignored the pain, as I looked on in awe at the sprawling village before me. I was home.

There was a sudden cry to my left, and a weight was dropped on my stomach. Gai had thrown himself on me, sobbing hysterically.

"Mai, you stupid girl! I thought you were gone for good! I saw you that night! I should have dragged you home, but I was too wrapped up in my own prospects! Don't you ever do something like this again!"

I stared at him wide-eyed, unsure of how to react. Asuma looked embarrassed, and patted Gai awkwardly on the shoulder. Kurenai smiled gently at me.

I couldn't look at Kakashi.

How foreign it felt to be around these people. I realised how long it had been since I felt affection for a comrade, and I wasn't quite sure how to react to the friendly nature of their presence.

I cleared my throat, and tried to speak.

"Has Tsunade been in yet?" My voice was raspy and thin. The effort exhausted me; I wanted to go back to sleep.

"Yeah, she was here when we brought you in. What have you done to yourself?" Kunerai asked.

"Nothing" I answered confusedly.

"Aside from your most recent battle wounds, there are several from your past endeavours that have not been healed, and you are suffering from malnourishment, exposure, exhaustion and severe dehydration." Kakashi finally spoke. His mask was off, and he looked how I felt.

"Oh" Was all I could manage. Tsunade was definitely going to kill me.

There was an awkward silence, though no one seemed keen to break it. Aside from Kakashi, everyone was watching me eagerly.

"Er…so what happened?" I finally wheezed. "I remember making shadow clones and then the rest is a blur."

Strangely, everyone visible relaxed. Kurenai's smile was back and Asuma laughed

"You blew Akasuki to hell. It's nice to know that you did some good during your time in the wilderness, nice attack, Mai."

Even Kakashi looked somewhat proud for a moment.

There was sudden movement in the doorway of my room, though I couldn't see the person over Asuma's shoulders. The colour drained from Gai's face. Kakashi jumped up off the window sill like something had burned him.

"Oh thank god you're back! I was so worried when I heard that Akatsuki were involved…"

I looked between my friends in confusion. Who was that? What was going on?

A blonde woman finally appeared, walking straight to Kakashi and hugging him around his neck. Our eyes finally met, and the look he gave me filled me with dread. The woman detached herself from Kakashi quickly, sensing the mood and looked around.

Her hands lingered on Kakashi's chest, and I understood at once.

Kakashi cleared his throat and spoke wearily.

"Mai, this is Hana."

I've had some fantastic reviews for this story – thank you so much for putting the time into giving me feedback, its great to know that you're enjoying the story…thought it puts me on edge – "Will they like this chapter? Will they hate me?"

Ah well, hope you enjoy : )