Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer.
Sunrise
Chapter Ten: Predictable
The school day progressed in a relatively slow fashion after that morning question to Bella, and the talk I had with Alice and Emmett. I was anxious for lunch to come so I would be able to see Bella again.
One part of me was exuberant in anticipation of going to Seattle with Bella, of being able to spend a day with her – knowing more about her and learning more about this unusual human was a promise to myself that I meant to fulfill.
But the other part was filled with fear – for her and of myself. I was terrified that I would hurt her, that I would loose control of myself and kill her. In that way, I was also scared for her, for her safety.
The mere thought that I would hurt her was painful to think of. Resisting as I was, it would also be unforgivable for me to hurt her after being so contrary to my vampiric nature for so long as I had.
The delicate balance in my mind between what I knew to be right, what she deserved, was undermined by my selfish need to be near her, to speak to her, and to know more about her than I really should.
After all, how is it safe for a human to be around a vampire, never mind the fact that her blood scent drew me especially: like a shark to blood-drenched waters. Worse, because I could trap her in ways that no other creature could.
I had had to warn her against me, plant the seed of suspicion in her mind, as I left from her appealing, luscious fragrance. Even though she did not seem to notice how I was attracted to her, I needed to try and get her to see that she should not be near me.
I was a danger to her that she had no conceivable idea of. She would never fully understand exactly how dangerous I was to her, and had been last week when I had first caught her scent.
There was plenty of time to think all of this as I circulated through my classes that morning, waiting for the bell to ring to release the hordes of students to the cafeteria for food.
When that time came, the loud clang of the bell was accompanied by the frantic footsteps of the student body and the thoughts that went along with them. Sometimes I got lost in the minds of humans, caught up in their trivial dramas of life so as to try and regain some type of humanity.
It never worked; I was an inhuman creature, no matter what I attempted to do. But still, listening in on human thoughts kept my family a step ahead of any danger we could be put in by a curious human – curious like Bella.
This time, I blocked them as effectively as I could and sought out my path to the lunchroom. Humans moved out of the way for my instinctively, their hidden basic senses telling them to move away from the vampire that walked amongst them.
Pausing for a brief moment inside the doorway, I considered going to my family's usual table to eat. Then I realized that the presence of all five of us would be very intimidating to a human, even if she weren't like all of the rest of the flock.
Despite the fact that I knew it would be safer for her to be nowhere near me or any of my family, my main reasoning for not wanting her to be uncomfortable was derived from that same base want to keep her happy: the same feeling that I still could not name.
Skipping over the lunch line, I made my way to a table that was across the room from the usual one I sat at. One day without a lunch would not be too suspicious – after all, we never ate in the lunchroom anyway.
Sitting alone, I watched without interest as the room gradually became filled with beating hearts and gurgling stomachs. Bella would take a short while to get into the room – I had watched her for a while without her knowledge – and I waited for her.
Moving alone, nearly silent and aloof to the general human populace, my brothers and sisters traveled gracefully down the line and then to their table. They didn't glance towards me once – but they knew where I sat.
The gossiping minds of the student body wondered why I had chosen to sit alone – whether I had had a fight with my family or some other such thing. I ignored them; they weren't at all imaginative, and I was still searching for Bella.
Listening to my family as my eyes scanned the entranceways to watch for Bella, I took in what the key beings that made up most of my non-existence thought, both to themselves and to me.
Jasper was monitoring the family and not thinking of much else except that Rosalie was fuming, Emmett was incredulous, and Alice seemed to be exceedingly happy about the proceedings of things.
It was obvious to me that Rosalie would be extremely unhappy with the way things were going; she didn't want an outsider in on our family secrets. But Alice's happiness confused me even though I could hear her mind.
It wasn't as if she was thinking the exact reason for her exuberance. She was just – happy. Herself. It amazed me at times how she could be so jubilant about things when she was as confused or angry as the rest of us.
I decided to put her joy out of my mind for the moment, still searching for the interesting human girl to come through the doorway. And the exact moment she came in, I knew it.
Even though I could not catch her scent in this room, I knew as she walked in with her apparent friend, Jessica Stanley. The murderous thoughts that Jessica was still thinking made me, once again, want to jump between the two for Bella's protection.
Jessica's mind had gradually become less venomous over the course of the last few weeks as she got to know Bella more, but after Mike's hesitance in accepting her as a date to the dance, she had begun once again to gossip about Bella behind her back with Lauren Mallory.
The protectiveness I felt over her during those times when I heard in the girls' minds all the things being said about her was paralleled to any rage I had gone into before. I wanted to defend her, but I couldn't do much of anything, having never been in the right place to put a stop to it at the time.
Bella glanced straight to the table I usually ate at with my family – and her shoulders sagged. She turned around and went into the lunch line with Jessica, taking only a bottle of lemonade.
My forehead creased slightly as I observed her from a distance for what might have been the first time – the first time I could actually look up and see her, that is. Before, as I sat with my family, I had surreptitiously watched her without realizing it but now, I could freely look.
Her delicate shoulders were outlined in the long-sleeved shirt she wore, which an open black raincoat was layered on top of. Unlike many of the females of this day and age, she did not have those disturbingly tight pants on but instead a pair of jeans that were almost new.
And likewise, the rainboots she had on were definitely not worn as much as they should have if she had lived in Forks for a long while. The boots were flat, non-heeled, but she definitely walked uncomfortably in them.
Because she came from Phoenix, I knew that she would not have had clothing like we had to wear here, in rainy, cold, and cloudy Forks. Still, the obvious newness of her clothing made her stand out more so here than she already did.
The black of the coat she wore made her pale, transparent skin stand out more so than it already did; her dark mahogany hair, length that went a good six inches past her shoulders, was pulled up into a ponytail. I saw that her dark, expressive eyes were sad as she walked through the line with Jessica.
She has to be anorexic – there's no way she can stay so thin otherwise. Besides, look at that; only buying a lemonade bottle. Ha, she probably thinks she needs to loose weight. I hate people like that, like her. Venom equal to my own spewed from Jessica without warning.
She rolled her eyes behind Bella's back and glanced around the cafeteria for herself. She looked at the Cullen table first, of course – wait, Edward Cullen isn't there. Where is he? Over there? But why is he sitting alone? And staring at HER again?
The way she blurted out, "Edward Cullen is staring at you again," suggested that she hadn't thought it out before stating it. But I was grateful that she noticed.
I had forgotten that I would have to have Bella actually see me in order to know that I was waiting for her. Mentally hitting myself for forgetting, I allowed myself to smile as I heard Jessica continue, "I wonder why he's sitting alone today."
Bella's head snapped up at that moment, and she followed Jessica's gaze straight to my own. My lips were curled into a small smile before her eyes managed to make their way to meeting mine and I kept the grin in place as her eyes widened at the sight of me.
Raising one hand, I motioned with a single finger for her to come forward. A multitude of emotions flew across her face – shock, surprise, and disbelief – before settling on definite interest. I thought; I couldn't be precisely certain about what her feelings were from her face without hearing her mind, and that wasn't accessible to me.
As she simply stared at me, I had to smile wider; she certainly looked very adorable with her eyes so wide and uncertain. Winking at her, I waited on a tentative, anxious moment to see what she would do.
I had no idea why I was so pleased that she was embarrassed and confused about whether I meant her or not, but I did know that I wanted her to come over and sit with me. This plan had popped into my mind out of nowhere, the idea that if I couldn't be with her in class, and then I would be with her before it.
The thought of her looking nice, cute even was another foreign concept to me. Why I kept feeling this way was a new thing to feel and be; the emotions that swirled in me now, as I waited for her to do something, anything, was odd in it's own right.
In all practicality, I should not feel anything other than neutrality towards Bella Swan. She was a human, something that I was designed to eat. But, at the same time, I was curious to know her in ways other than a strange human that I had to resist as a meal.
"Does he mean you?" Jessica Stanley asked incredulously. How can he show interest in her too? I tried for so long to get his attention and I never did! The only good things that come out of this are that I can get a chance with Mike, if he gets the hint that no girl in her right mind would ever give up a chance on THE Edward Cullen.
I tuned out her mind again, automatically reaching out towards Bella's in an attempt to hear her yet again. But nothing came from her head, not a whisper, except for the words from her mouth.
"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework." The excuse sounded false to me from where I sat. Her cheeks had a faint outline of pink on them, as she gazed out across the sea of students to me. "Um, I'd better go see what he wants." She then set out across the cafeteria to me, leaving her 'friend' behind.
She's a slut, but at least I might get a chance with Mike now that she seems to be interested in Cullen. Jessica soothed herself as she flounced off to her table after staring at Bella's back for a few brief minutes. The group there immediately began bombarding her with questions, and watching as Bella made her way to me.
I, too, watched Bella as she carefully moved across that floor. Aware of her clumsiness, she walked a tiny bit slower than average for a human – but I knew that if she tried to move faster, then there was a higher likelihood that she might trip.
Pausing in front of me at the table, she blinked steadily down at me, hesitant and uncertain. I attempted to block out the minds of my siblings, where they sat discussing this in terms of what could be wrong with me. Although I wasn't quite succeeding, I asked gently, with a smile, "Why don't you sit with me today?"
Almost automatically once I had finished the last syllable, Bella dropped into the chair, her bag landing on the floor with a dull thud. Keeping my smile carefully in place, it became difficult after a moment as I waited for something, anything, to come out of her mouth.
You know, Edward, to have a conversation with someone you might actually have to say something, tittered Alice as she listened intently for any words. My sister was really too curious; and the rest of them weren't much better.
It was harder to focus on Bella's body language with them offering their own interpretations, although they weren't intended for me to hear. Rosalie was simply fuming, but Jasper wondered, Why is she not anxious or nervous or – something? All I sense is curiosity, Edward.
But I didn't have to say anything, for she did at that moment. "This is different," she offered, obviously not knowing what else to say to me.
I knew what she meant, for this was unusual in more ways than one. And one of those ways was that this was something I never would have figured I would do, drawing a human being closer to me than any I had ever met before.
We, the immortal blood-drinking beings, soulless as we were, would likely be headed to hell for the lives we had. How can a creature that kills humans go to heaven? But this would undoubtedly push me much further into hell. It must be a sin to be involving an innocent human, however vaguely, into the world of a vampire. That I was doing just by talking to her.
"Well…" I attempted to word my thoughts as well as I could. "I decided that as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." The explanation wasn't just for her, although she wouldn't know that; my family also understood what I was saying and became angry with me for it.
Oh, Edward, that isn't true! How can you think that, even after all this time? You shouldn't poison her thoughts against us, against you, so much! Alice was the most 'vocal', you could say, about it.
The rest of my clan was simply disappointed that I thought so little of myself, even though they had known for a while that this was what I thought of our non-life. It was my opinion that, as vampires, we were soulless demons and although they thought I was on the right track to a point, they disagreed with my single-mindedness.
I was most worried about what Bella would think after I said it. Mentally hitting my forehead, I reviewed the words I uttered and prayed that she wouldn't draw much from it. That was the point Rosalie was making. You idiot! What if she guesses something from what you just said? You better hope you didn't just give something away!
The minutes went by slowly and agonizingly. I watched her eyes carefully and saw the intelligence sparkling there. But right now, it was sullied in confusion. Her words confirmed what I had seen. "You know I don't have any idea what you mean," she raised an eyebrow at me.
"I know," I replied, smiling. Deciding that it might not be the best idea to continue along that vein of thought, I tried to think of some other subject to switch to.
Remembering that Jessica was still regaling gossip to the table through my mental hearing capacities, I thought up something to say. "Your friends are angry with me for stealing you." Mike Newton certainly was; while the rest of the table, save gentle Angela Webber, gawked at Bella's back, that boy was glaring blatantly at me. I pretended not to notice.
"They'll survive," she said shortly. I wondered if she really did know about her supposed friends' treacherous thoughts and gossip; from the way she was acting about it, it was possible that she knew how awful they really were.
I couldn't help but state a dark joke. "I may not give you back, though." Seeing my reflection on her wide, mirroring eyes, I noted the gleam in them, a glint that was slightly hard. I hoped I hadn't scared her too much, although I knew that it would be best if she were scared into staying away from me.
The gulp as she swallowed was obvious to me, not so much to a human. But I teased anyway, "You look worried." A small laugh came out, surprising me a bit but not by much; I knew what I was going to do, and my siblings didn't. Their surprise made me want to close my mind completely for possibly the millionth time.
"No," she scoffed even as her voice cracked. Clearing it slightly, she added, "Surprised, actually…what brought all this on?" There was no hint of underlying apprehension around her; she was utterly at ease here, with me.
The joy that thought sparked almost made me miss her question, but I caught it. "I told you – I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." My smile was in place without too much difficulty, but I was utterly serious.
"Giving up?" Bella was obviously confused by my response; the crease I had noted on her forehead the first day she had come to Forks High School that was always there had deepened. Her brown eyes stared up at mine, and I continued on my vein of thought almost without regards as to what I was admitting.
"Yes – giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." A hard edge crept into my voice near the end of the sentence, when I realized too late that I had just given out more information, as I got lost in her dark eyes. My smile disappeared and I hoped that she hadn't gotten what I meant.
"You lost me again."
I grinned in relief that she hadn't understood what I was telling her. "I always say to much when I'm talking to you – that's one of the problems." One more of the problems that arose around her, around Bella.
The scent, I could control my response to. The inability to hear her thoughts I could overcome as she spoke her mind aloud. Even being able to deal with other's thoughts of what she had said indirectly was something I could handle, to a point.
But the fact that I was beginning to say too much to her, that she noticed too much around me, was definitely not a good thing. She shouldn't get so caught up in this, because then it would be too late to turn back. It couldn't be, yet, but I saw no way out as we dug ourselves in deeper and deeper.
She muttered wryly, "Don't worry – I don't understand any of it." The indent between her eyebrows grew as she frowned at nothing in particular, her eyes straying from mine in what appeared to be thought.
"I'm counting on that," I replied as my eyes once again scanned her face for any clues as to what she was thinking. I saw nothing in her eyes; they were as blank as her mind was to me.
Bella was uncertain, I could tell, as she asked, "So, in plain English, are we friends now?" The nervousness I could see in her eyes made me want to hold her close.
That made me pause for a moment longer. I was not the type of person to hug another; I preferred no contact at all with anyone else. Yet, here I sat, wanting to comfort someone else – not just anyone, but a human girl!
And, try as I might, I did not see friendship being what I wanted. "Friends…" That didn't seem like what these new emotions I found in myself indicated. In fact, I did not even know what it was I felt for her. How should I know whether or not we could even safely be friends?
"Or not…" she murmured. I could hear a definite edge of disappointment in her voice as she said it. The fact that she didn't seem to just want friendship made me happier for some reason – but I couldn't really tell if that was what she felt or not.
Once again, I wished that I could hear her mind and find the answers that she hid from me. No matter how many times I spoke with her, I had a feeling that I would never really understand what went through her head.
"Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." I made sure that she could see the warning behind my statement, but she might have chosen to ignore it for all I could gather out of her face.
"You say that a lot," she surmised, scanning my face; I couldn't discern whether it was in concern for her safety, like a part of me hoped, or if she was trying to figure me out as I was trying to solve her.
"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me." I wanted her to understand what I meant; it wasn't clear if she did know or not that I was attempting to dissuade her from being around me in her own self-interest.
Her eyes narrowed on me as she took that in. "I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear, too." Ah, so she was mad about my slight at her intelligence. I simply smiled apologetically to her – the actual words were ones I couldn't come up with.
If I told her the real reason behind that, then she would have to know exactly what I was. And that was something she shouldn't know. Not only because it was a secret we had to keep, but the knowledge would place her in danger from us and from others.
"So," her frown deepened in what appeared to be thought, "as long as I'm being…not smart, we'll try to be friends?" That was a logical explanation for our exchange and what appeared to have been decided – although I wasn't too sure how it came about.
"That sounds about right." Instead of looking at me as I answered her guess, she looked down. I was partly relieved that she had – the sight of her throat, pale and bare in front of me, was a lot to take in during our talk and extremely distracting.
The vampire instincts that controlled me during hunting wanted for me to do nothing more than lunge across the table in front of me and sink my teeth into that throat. Trying to distract myself, I focused once again on the blank wall in front of me – her mind.
There was still nothing there: if I didn't hear her mind, the only way I would know what was running through it would be to ask her what was. "What are you thinking?" I was genuinely interested in what her thoughts were about; she looked deep in thought.
Her deep brown eyes met mine, slightly glazed over; and she answered what appeared to truly be on her mind. "I'm trying to figure out what you are."
Freezing fear swept through me as though an internal hurricane was taking place. My siblings were stiff as well, their own minds running through scenarios and possible ways to get out of this trap – a trap that I had gotten us into.
I was foolish, wasn't I? Blindly trusting a human to keep something so important a secret. She hadn't threatened to tell anyone, though – in fact…
Bella had said that she was only trying to find out what I was. Didn't that mean she only had theories as of late? I heard Alice telling the others that same thought as my jaw tightened; with some difficulty, I kept the smile up on my face although I wasn't certain at all about anything.
It was another wild gamble that trusting Bella had been. Swallowing hard from old instincts, I tried to sound disinterested. "Are you having any luck with that?" But even as I feigned an uninterested front, my eyes scanned her face for any clues as to what she was truly thinking.
"None too much," came the reply, and I was relieved momentarily. Anxiety trailed it, however, as I realized that this meant she had to have some type of thought as to what I, what my family, was.
Her blatant admittance that she wasn't too far along in discovering what I was made me laugh a slight bit before I prodded more. "What are your theories?"
The blush that spread across her cheeks amazed me to no end; it was a beautiful pooling of blood that came so easily to her. I wondered what she was thinking of that caused her to feel embarrassment about her thoughts.
Alice giggled across the room. Oh, that theory is too funny! I hadn't paid too much attention to her thoughts and missed the vision that she had sought. I ignored my family and focused on getting Bella to tell me what she had thought up as a reason for my differences – I had been interested before, but from Alice's thoughts I was now more so.
"What are your theories?" I asked, tilting my head to the side as I smiled at her. Humans found our physical appearance appealing, and I was attempting – likely uselessly – to use what the majority of female humans found 'attractive' against her.
It appeared to work a little bit – she blinked a few times as she looked at me, and shook her head. "Too embarrassing." I knew it was embarrassing – she had blushed – but I wanted to know why.
"That's really frustrating, you know," I complained; I wanted to understand the workings of her mind without having to go through all of this twisting and turning of words and trying to pry hidden meanings out of her mouth.
Soon enough, however, it appeared that I had said the entirely wrong thing to Bella. Her back, which had been slouched slightly before, straightened indignantly as she glared up at me. Tightening her jaw, she squared her shoulders.
"No, I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all – just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean…now, why would that be frustrating?"
Understanding what I said too late, I could do nothing more than try to understand that which she felt. And I did, to a point – I knew the frustration of not knowing what I wanted to all too well. Sympathizing was one, thing, however, while understanding was something else entirely – and she did not need to know what I hid from her.
Bella wasn't done yet, though. "Or better, say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things – from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating."
That was the end of the line for me. She did not fully understand what I was keeping from her – which was the point – but she had no right to berate me for it. "You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"
"I don't like double standards." She wasn't smiling, but neither was I. Although I had double motives for remaining stone-faced: my family was, once again, thinking about me and this time was decidedly more annoying than most.
Ha, the human told off Edward! This is almost as good as those TV shows! Emmett was laughing at my expense along with Jasper and Alice. I felt like walking over to them and giving all of them a piece of my mind about their amusement at a semi-private talk with Bella.
Rosalie was still being mutinous in her thoughts. I can't believe she did that! And she's guessing at what we are! If she gets it right, then we're in trouble. Edward is going to pay for this; I'm going to make sure of it.
Tuning them out again as I tried focusing my 'gift' on Bella again, I intercepted thoughts from her usual lunch table. Looking up towards it, I saw Mike Newton shifting in his seat anxiously. From his head, I heard, Maybe I should go over there. If I talk to her now when Cullen is bugging her, she'd appreciate it. That would be a good way to get in her good point of view.
He was bugging me more than I should let him, really. Letting out a short laugh, I focused back on Bella in time to hear her ask, "What?"
"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you – he's debating whether to come break up our fight." The words were chosen carefully but nevertheless, conveyed the drift of what Newton was thinking to Bella. Snickering again, I waited for her reply to that with slight anxiety.
My fears abated at her comeback, her frosty reply making certain that there was no doubt of her disinterest in whomever I spoke of. "I don't know who you're talking about. But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."
Almost laughing again at the irony of her last sentence, I said, "I'm not. I told you, most people are easy to read." I could hear most minds and their thoughts.
"Except me, of course," she muttered, not quite focused on me although she was looking at my face. The truth of her statement shocked me a bit – never mind the fact that I had told her she wasn't easy to read. It surprised me that she remembered what I had said to her at all.
"Yes. Except for you. I wonder why that is," I mused aloud. Asking myself the same thing numerous times had never gotten me an answer. There weren't any theories that I could think of as to why her mind was impenetrable, and no reference point for me to work with.
My eyes bored into hers with an intensity that was likely very deep, as I tried to pry into her mind once again. I never learned how to use my power; it came to me naturally, like Jasper and Alice. It had been something that I had from the moment of my new 'birth'.
The ability to hear a person's thoughts inside their head projected to mine and sounding as if they spoke directly to me, had just constantly been there. Attempting to control my powers was something I had not had to try before, and I wasn't entirely certain I knew what I was doing.
In fact, I probably did not know, for I wasn't able to hear anything from her mind at all. So I settled for watching her movements as she looked at the tabletop, unscrewing the cap off of a bottle of lemonade to take a small sip.
All at once, I realized that she only had that bottle and no food in front of her. Didn't she need to eat right now? It was lunchtime, after all. "Aren't you hungry?"
"No," she answered mindlessly. "You?" Again, irony struck. The prey was asking the hunter if he was hungry, while holding off of food itself.
"No, I'm not hungry." My smile grew with the humorous irony of yet another statement about hunger. These really were too many jokes about hunger, and mine grew with every moment I spent with Bella. I would need to feed later today.
But it was manageable for the moment as I spent time with her here. Watching her, as she seemed to think about something wasn't too large a toll on my resistance. It was wearing down, but I was keeping it up for the time.
"Can you do me a favor?" Her hesitant question made me wary; she already knew a lot more than she should. What type of favor would she ask?
"That depends on what you want." It was the safest thing I could think of to say. My siblings waited as anxiously as I for her to answer me.
"It's not much," she assured me. Still, I simply waited for her to tell me what she waned. As much as I trusted her, despite the warnings of my family – and they were still continuing even as I spoke with Bella…no matter how much I trusted her, I still needed to hear what she wanted.
She looked down at her lemonade bottle as she spoke. "I just wondered…if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." Her pinkie finger traced circles, drawing me into a trance like daze as I watched it circle the opening of the bottle lazily.
Her request made me want to laugh – in what, I didn't know. Maybe it was just the fact that she wanted to know if I would decide something for her own good that got to me. All she wanted was to know that I wouldn't purposefully ignore her again; she didn't ask for more information about me, or my family.
"That sounds fair." It was something I could attempt to do for her, and try and give her without complications arising because I was…what I was. Then I realized that I could work with this, use it to gain an answer that I desperately wanted – not just me, but the rest of my family. I hid a chuckle as she looked up.
"Thanks," she said quietly.
I demanded, "Then can I have one answer in return?" This would be too simple if she just agreed before knowing what I wanted from her. I waited for her to answer.
"One." And it came. She didn't even look at me, but at the table as she had for most of our conversation; but I could see her eyes looking up at me through those long lashes. In a way, I was glad that she was looking down – it hid her throat from view. But a part of me wanted her to look at me, even though I knew that could be a danger to her.
Exposing her neck in any way was a temptation to the demon lurking inside me, and I wanted her to remain safe. If she didn't tell me what she thought she knew about me, then she was in danger from my family. "Tell me one theory."
I knew that she was smart, and yet was a little surprised when she immediately shot back, "Not that one." Not expecting it to be easy, though, I knew that I would have to wheedle what I needed to know out of her.
"You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer," I reminded her gently. If I worked at this, maybe she would tell me what she was thinking and had thought up as an answer to the ways I was different from her.
She was intelligent, however, I had to give her that. Avoiding my question while answering it at the same time, she reminded back, "And you've broken promises yourself."
That was something I didn't like to think about – having never really dismissed a promise before like I had with her, I felt guilty for leaving her in the dark after agreeing to reveal it to her.
But I had other pledges to keep, other things that must be kept secret. So I had to find out if Bella knew the secret I was guarding, not just for my sake, but hers – she was in danger if she knew. Not just from my family, but from the royalty of the vampires – the Volturi.
The ones who would send an agent out here if it meant that our secret was in danger of being uncovered – and I knew that they didn't always just kill the humans that knew. Sometimes they made them vampires.
The mere thought that Bella might be forced to go through those fire-filled, painful three days was excruciating: that they might force an angel like her to loose her soul and become what we were was unforgivable. I pressed on, trying to discover if she did know or not. "Just one theory – I won't laugh."
The laughing was meant as teasing her about it, but she took it seriously. "Yes, you will." That was interesting – did that mean that she wasn't telling me out of embarrassment over the fact that she thought I would laugh and dismiss her?
Even if I did laugh at a ludicrous theory, it wasn't to make fun of her, specifically. More likely than not, she would take it that way, however. If it were simple embarrassment that was holding her back, I mused, then I would have to take her mind off of it.
How to take her mind off of her inhibitions was something that I had already tried before, I realized. But when I used my vampire appearance and gifts to make her answer me, it wasn't quite as intense as it could be. So I tried something new after a moment's pause in deciding.
My siblings watched anxiously as I looked down at the table thoughtfully. In a sudden movement, I glanced up at Bella, my head slightly tilted down as I leaned forward, drawing in a deep breath. Letting it out smoothly and long, reaching across the table to her nose, I breathed a simple, "Please?"
The effect was quite amusing to watch – her eyes glazed over and her breathing became slow and deep. Blankly meeting mine, it seemed as if her mind was actually clear at that moment. She was frozen as a statue, staring at me and apparently trying to work through a fog that had clouded her mind.
I tried not to grin triumphantly in success – this was interesting to watch. Emmett was laughing at the table; my family was caught between berating me for using talents like that, and amazement that I had been able to. After all, I was the stony, silent, unapproachable Edward – how did I know how to daze the human girl like this?
She let out a soft, "Er, what?" as she grasped that I had asked something. My lips fought a grin as I breathed out more, hoping to keep her docile.
"Please tell me just one little theory," I tried again to get the answer from her mind, to no avail. But it was almost there, I could see, and her lips parted slightly as she gazed up at me. Before I knew it, she had actually answered.
"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"
It was so absurd! "That's not very creative," I scoffed, fighting the laugh that was erupting inside of me and not coming out like it was with my siblings. She was blushing very slightly, coming out of her trance-like phase.
She sniffed. "I'm sorry, that's all I've got." She was apologizing for not having a more creative reason for my strangeness – that, I found more strange than anything else. Bella was truly a unique person, I knew.
Not being able to resist a bit of fun – for once in my eternal 'life' – I teased her with, "You're not even close." Really, spiders? That was from a human comic book! I would have thought that she would get somewhere near the truth, for all her intelligence.
"No spiders?"
"Nope."
"And no radioactivity?" Well, that was one that she hadn't mentioned. I had to laugh more at that – she thought I was a superhero? The sheer absurd notion that I, a vampire, could be compared as a hero to her was making me struggle not to laugh.
"None."
"Dang," she sighed, looking a bit dejected – likely that her far-out ideas had been proven false. Not being able to help myself anymore, I began to laugh as softly as I could, not let loose in the cafeteria with a mighty roaring sound.
"Kryptonite doesn't bother me, either," I told her, making sure she saw that I got the superhero theme of possible explanations about me.
"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?" She sulked slightly, and I tried to stop the laughter that was welling up inside me. Unable to get off of the comic book theories, I was drawn sharply back when she warned, straight-faced, "I'll figure it out eventually."
She shouldn't do that. It was dangerous for her to even be in the same town as us, never mind trying to pursue us, to chase me, for an answer to something that she would be safer not knowing. "I wish you wouldn't try."
"Because…?" She was challenging me, trying to find the reasons behind what I was telling her. Just like I was doing, I mused. She was doing the same thing that I was doing, by trying to dig through my words for meanings.
But Bella was more dangerous because of that. If she took the right meaning out of my warnings, she would be put in more danger just for letting her mind do the work to pull out the things I meant.
She was in more danger because of me – I had already known that, but actually thinking it to myself was something else entirely. Even with all that I though in the space of time I had, I spoke without putting my words through my mind first to search for anything she could take out of them. "What if I'm not the superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"
Alice began berating me for saying that I was evil, but stopped short when Bella's sharp intake of breath was heard. A spark in her eyes, nothing more, and then…
"Oh, I see."
Instantly I realized that what I hadn't wanted to do, I had done – the words I had said were easily interpreted, far too easily the meaning discovered. For a strange moment, I glanced over her and waited for her to run away. But she didn't – she simply looked at me. "Do you?" I asked, afraid that she had indeed seen.
"You're dangerous?" Her pulse increased at a steady rate, pumping fast as she stiffened slightly, eyes scanning me now in search of anything to – to what? Prove her wrong, or prove her right?
At that moment, I felt such sadness as I watched her. She was afraid, of me; that was something that I had wanted, counted on, even, to keep her away from me – but now that it was here, in my face, I didn't want it.
I did not want her to be afraid of me, to shy away from me. This was excruciating in its own right, waiting for her to say something as she scanned my face for a hidden clue to something I couldn't discover just by looking at her. She wanted to know something, and I didn't know the answer.
The next words she spoke made my siblings shocked – although Alice was beaming in joy at them. "But not bad," Bella whispered, shaking her head and staring up at me. "No, I don't believe that you're bad."
The purpose of those words was to make me feel better – it had to be – and they worked to a point. That she wasn't afraid of me was something I had never expected of her; I had thought she would be terrified. But now, I saw that she was willing to tell me that she didn't think I was evil.
As the relief swept away, it was replaced by a sadness that I knew my siblings saw permeated through everything to me. And it did. Quietly, I replied, "You're wrong."
Because she had to be. I was a soulless vampire, doomed to wander the earth for eternity alone. How was that not evil? I had killed humans before, taken lives that were a great number to count, large and unforgiving. Murderer, vampire, soulless…those words described me.
With a quick grab, I secured the bottle cap from Bella, spinning it on its side between my fingers. I was an evil creature, bloodsucker, leech…the things the werewolves called us, all true and all condemning.
Bella only thought differently because she didn't know exactly what I was. And a part of me wished I could tell her, so that she could know why I was evil – while the rest of me rebelled at the thought; not only would that put my family in danger, but also…I didn't want her to know.
Not wanting her to know why I was evil, merciless, soulless…all of that tied into the things I felt about her. And she would not know those, either – there was no 'unless' about it. This was out of interest in her, I told myself. It was because I was interested in her, as a human that I was trying to know about her.
She moved suddenly, leaping out of her seat. "We're going to be late," she said. Most of the students were out, I heard – in fact, it seemed that my family was the last group left in the cafeteria.
Not making a move, I replied, "I'm not going to class today." Twirling the lid so it was a blur, I sensed her watching me. But I wouldn't look up – her throat was so easily exposed right now. And since there were no humans in the room, the monster in me thought that now was a good time to strike, bite, and drink.
"Why not?" I caught the tone of interest in her voice.
I chance a quick smile up at her, trying not to attack as I saw the pale skin of her throat. "It's healthy to ditch class now and then." It was especially healthy for her for me to ditch class today.
"Well, I'm going," she said quietly. She sounded as if she wanted to say something else.
It was harder for me to sit her while she stood over me – fighting the being inside me that wanted to reach up and grab her throat to bite, I looked back at the cap that I was transforming into a top at the moment. "I'll see you later, then."
The dismissal was a bit harsh – but I needed her to leave. I was swallowing venom almost constantly right now, and it was extremely uncomfortable to hear her heart at the moment. Through my siblings, I saw that her mouth opened as if to say something.
Bell ringing, she walked away quickly – to look back once from the door as she moved through it. I had stayed in the same position I had sat down in; straight-backed and stiff.
I found myself watching her, as well. The way she moved, hesitantly and yet surely, spoke of her clumsiness and her own character. But I found myself watching her out of more than the interest of learning more about her – it was because I wanted to. Shaking it off, I waited for my siblings to move.
Alice skipped over to me, first in the family to move over. "So, Edward…" What do you think of Bella? Is she something special to you?
Blinking at her, I replied warily, "What do you mean?" Her question confused me – it was like she expected a certain answer. Not knowing what to make of it, I got up swiftly; after a second of hesitation, I slipped the bottle cap into my pocket as I grabbed the school bag that had lain by my feet.
She giggled, seeing me do that. "So, she is something different, hmm?" After all, I don't think that you have just developed a special attachment to bottle caps as of late, Edward. She interests you.
"Of course she's interesting, Alice," I answered smoothly as I walked out of the cafeteria. Our siblings were right behind us, thinking their own thoughts on the subject. "Are you telling me she isn't interesting to you?"
"Not in the same way…" You want her as more than a friend, Edward. I saw the look on your face when she asked you if you were friends or not.
Emmett clapped a hand on my back as we turned down the hallway, out of the building. I had sent a dirty look to Alice, not understanding what she meant by that. I didn't even know what I wanted, myself! "Eddie-." I growled low. "Fine, fine…Edward, was lunch interesting?" What does he think of her, I really wonder?
We headed toward the building where they branched of to split into two separate ones – I was further down in another building, where Bella now was. "Even though I tried to attempt the semblance of privacy for her, you heard everything we said. What more do you want to know?"
We paused in front of the building – except Rosalie. She stalked off, and after a quick hesitation in which Emmett considered what he wanted to know and whether Rosalie would be angrier with him or me, he took off after her. Jasper and Alice stood for a minute watching them while I impatiently waited for them to talk.
Alice snapped out of it first. " Well, Edward, I do hope you realize that she is special to you in some way." Does he really not see what I mean by this? Has he really been alone so long that he cannot figure out that there is something going on with him?
Sighing, I replied tiredly, "Alice, I know that I'm confused about her and I know that something is drawing me to her – but that's all I know. Please, stop bothering me about this." If she really wanted to know what was going on in my mind around Bella, then she would just have to wait until I sorted out my feelings.
Because, as I had known and thought over and over again, this was all new and uncovered territory with me. My footing was unstable, my directions and map unclear and cloudy. I had nothing to work on, no idea what my goal was: wandering aimlessly in the mist as I was, I should be asking the others for help.
That went against who I was, however – I was Edward, the silent 'older' brother, who kept himself locked up most of the time. It was something I had never thought much about; it was who I was, to my siblings. So, only now it made me realize how isolated I was. Bella made me realize I felt alone, always.
Jasper clapped a hand on my shoulder for a moment, and said, "You're hungry." I'll go with you after school, if you want. I know you and Emmett made plans already, though... Touching as Jasper's offer was, I felt slightly reluctant – he wanted to talk, and I wasn't much of a confider.
I nodded shortly to him, however. This gesture showed that he was more comfortable with our family; an offer to hunt, with him, was something that I had not expected. Jasper, the new one to our family, had never really shown concern for going on hunts or being with anyone other than Alice. It was a small step.
Alice beamed and took his hand. "Well, go sit in your car, then. We'll see you later, after school!" They left, Alice thinking about how wonderful it was that Jasper was actually attempting to reach out to the family – I smirked as I went to my car, flipped on the music, and began to think.
Bella was something like a newcomer to this life in Forks. From observing her and from the first time we'd spoken, I knew that she had moved up here to be with her father, Charlie, while her mother was in Jacksonville with her husband, Phil.
Bella's decision to live here was something I didn't fully understand. She was adamant that she sent herself here to let her mother have the life she wanted, but I was simply confused about it. How could she be so selfless for someone?
Vampires weren't selfless creatures by definition, yet I believed Carlisle to be a selfless as they came. It never mattered to me what reasons he had for changing me – only that he hadn't done it out of spite. He wanted a companion, and I was one for him. I was his son, in most senses of the word.
But I had seen how that wasn't quite enough – and then, he's found Esme. It was like gaining a mother, and I was glad that he had found her. When he changed Rosalie, to be a 'companion' for me, I had refused it, knowing that I could only see her as a sister.
She had found Emmett, and Jasper and Alice came to us. Through it all, I stayed by myself. Even through those dark years when I went off on my own to hunt humans for a time, I had never found anyone else. Nor had I crossed paths with any vampires – I steered clear from them.
It was easier to be alone, by myself, than it was to go anywhere near others like me during that dark time of my life. The reminders of who I was, who I had been, what I could become…in the end, that's what drove me back to seek out Carlisle. The darkness pressing around me needn't be as it was – he offered a slight escape from it, refuge from at least the killing of innocent humans.
Why Bella would ever want to be anywhere near something such as I was a complete and utter mystery. I was a demon to her angelic lightness, her innocence from the knowledge of all things dark and evil like me.
Why was I insisting on being near her, I wondered as I looked out towards the school building; she was in that one, there, likely talking to Newton – my dead heart shuddered in anger at the thought – or some other male whom she could trust to not want to eat her at every minute of the day.
I should have stayed away from her, for both of our sakes. She might be out of danger right now, living her normal life – I saw the fascination in her eyes when she sat across from me at the table, her expressions during our conversation. Interest, and cunning, but no fear for herself.
Maybe I should leave now, I though. In fact, I was preparing to move the car out of the parking space when I heard someone coming my way. Well, I helped her out of the room, maybe she'll be thankful. I wonder what she was talking about at lunch today – I should have gone over there to her and Cullen. Whoa, she doesn't look very good.
My eyes zeroed in on the moving shapes coming along the path – heading toward the office. Puzzlement and confusion swept through me; what was Mike Newton doing out of class right now? Taking someone up to the office? If that was so, why did the second figure need his support to walk like that?
She wants to sit? Well, okay, but on the sidewalk? I wonder what's wrong with her – it was just blood testing. So this human was sickened by the blood testing, were they? I turned off my car quietly, interested in listening to this conversation without interruption from my stereo system.
Humans who were sickened by the sight of blood were something that amazed me; a vampire took it from other organisms to live, and I have grown accustomed to that. But humans have that very thing which repulses those few inside them – how was it that they grew sickened at the sight of it?
I watched as Newton helped the person sit on the curbside – and then they leaned over onto the concrete. That wasn't right; I frowned – why would they prefer the freezing pavement to anything else? Was the cold helping somehow? From my medical studies, I knew that that was not a usual habit for people with aversion to blood.
Climbing out of my car, I moved to the front to watch them. Wow, she doesn't look so good right now. I heard Newton say, "Wow, you're green, Bella."
Bella. Bella was the one lying on the ground with nauseous feelings about seeing blood; she was the one who needed to get up to the nurses' office. I began walking toward her without a second thought – thinking only that I could help her far better than Mike was at the moment.
I saw what he was seeing, and his eyes were focused solely on a few parts of her that she would believe him a pervert for thinking of. I, for one, wanted to growl at him to scare him off right now, but that would have caused more trouble than he was worth. "Bella?" I called as I moved.
That was why I only heard one mind, I realized; hers was still as blank as ever. Mike's was running with thoughts, however, at my sudden appearance as I came forward. Damn, here comes Cullen. What's his problem, anyway? I can handle this fine; he doesn't need to be here.
"What's wrong – is she hurt?" My concern was raised as I approached and she made no movement, nor sound. What happened to her; surely if it was just blood testing that fazed her, she would be at least moving or something. I watched her carefully for signs of breathing.
Mike was stressed as he said, "I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger." She probably fainted, but I don't know why; how wimpy of her. Well, at least she's hot – that redeems her a lot.
So she had an aversion to seeing other's blood – and I had confirmation Newton was a horrible person. What a wonderful day, I thought sarcastically as I knelt down to look at her face. At least she's still breathing, but can she do anything without getting in trouble somehow? I counted this as trouble. "Bella? Can you hear me?"
Her nose scrunched up, as she groaned, "No. Go away." I had to laugh a bit at that, even though I was relieved that she was all right.
He can't just waltz up here and demand to talk to her like that! "I was taking her to the nurse, but she wouldn't go any farther." Newton was beginning to get on my nerves from this absurd chatter he insisted on pursuing in his mind.
Still smiling at Bella, I told him, "I'll take her. You can go back to class." I knew he wouldn't like that, but frankly; I wasn't concerned with that at the moment. Taking her up to the nurse's office meant that I would have to carry her there but I wasn't sure how I would be able to handle her body so close to mine.
"No, I'm supposed to do it," he glared at me, even though I couldn't care less and didn't even look up at him. He can't just walk in here and take her with him! I hate Cullens; they all think they can do what they want. He grumbled about it even as I reached forward to pick her up; he knew he wouldn't change my mind. Pigheaded. No, I replied in my own head; that would be Rosalie.
Lifting her up was absurdly easy to do, but I supported her farther from my body, supported entirely by my arms and not cradled to my chest like I was finding I wanted to. Shaking off that feeling, I stood with her in my arms; watching her face, I saw just how pale she really did look.
Up until that moment, I was ignoring her scent – but with her this close, it was harder to control myself. The monster inside me growled angrily as I ignored it and kept my control. Looking at her green-tinged cheeks I saw her eyes fly open, deep brown blinking frantically. "Put me down!"
Walking before she could finish the last words, I heard Newton's last, "Hey!" and Jerk; she wants to be put down, to be with me! Of course that's what she wants, by asking him to put her down. I hate him. I was grinning as I looked down at her. "You look awful."
"Put me back on the sidewalk," she moaned; her face was very pale, but I suppose that since she was as close as she was, it was a good thing for the moment.
I savored the words for a minute as I said them. "So you faint at the sight of blood?" How interesting; one more thing about Bella that I hadn't known. Given how unusual she is, it shouldn't have surprised me that she would faint at the sight of that which I needed to smell in order to exist.
Irony, in every particle of it: I had developed a fascination with someone who would be sick if she knew my feeding – or rather, hunting – habits. She clamped her lips together at that moment – like she heard what I thought – and squeezed her eyes closed.
I couldn't resist one more poke at her as we neared the office. "And not even your own blood," I smirked to myself; yes, that would be problematic if she ever knew how I 'lived' and ate.
Not that she would, I hastily reminded myself – it was in the interest of knowing more about this confusing creature in my arms that I had thought of her knowing that major secret.
Approaching the door, I heard someone moving toward the door – the office receptionist Ms. Cope – to grab a soda from the teacher's lounge, from her thoughts. Waiting until she was opening the door, I slipped inside with Bella in my arms.
Ms. Cope blinked for a minute – Edward Cullen? Carrying Bella Swan in his arms? Wow, this is like a romance novel – then gasped, "Oh my." What happened to her?
"She fainted in Biology," I explained, trying to keep my face blank as she ran through her trashy novels in her head, comparing me to every hero – and Bella to every heroine. It was rather tiresome to hear that every time she saw me – and I moved toward the nurse's office as Bella's eyes opened.
Sweeping her into his arms, he – oh my goodness, Edward Cullen! And – what happened to, oh, what's her name, Bella! Bella Swan – what happened? The nurse, Mrs. Hammond, was in the middle of reading a novel just like those that Ms. Cope spent some time reading.
Really, what was with the conspiracy these two women had going against mind-reading vampires who had no interest in such situations?
I swung Bella onto the vinyl bed and moved back against the wall – her scent permeated through everything in the room at the close range she was in. She really has no idea of the danger she is in, being so close to me, I thought as she lay there, eyes open and looking at me carefully.
I wondered what she saw in my eyes, before realizing that she likely saw gleams of the predator inside that wanted, thirsted, for her blood. Turning to Mrs. Hammond, I told her, "She's just a little faint. They're blood typing in Biology."
She nodded. "There's always one." I wonder why Bella, though – maybe she wanted the chance for Edward Cullen to sweep her off her feet – literally, in this case. Trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the thought – she would probably like nothing better than to run from me if she knew what I was – I watched her again.
She looked so weak and fragile lying on the vinyl substitute for a bed. Her breathing was slow as she attempted to calm her nausea. "Just lie down for a minute, honey; it'll pass." Oh, the poor dear looks so weak.
"I know," she sighed; already, I noticed that her color was returning, but she still looked far too pale for my liking. But it wasn't what I wanted, I reprimanded myself – it was what she needed. And that goes for a lot more than this passing queasiness.
"Does this happen a lot?" I wonder if the poor girl suffers from just the sight of blood some of the time or all the time – I only get queasy if there's a lot, but could she be the type that feels sick with just a single pinprick? Or did she not even prick herself?
"Sometimes," Bella answered; I noted that her cheeks gained the tiniest amount of red, and hid another laugh. She was embarrassed by the fact that she did, actually, faint from the sight of blood; and not even her own!
Mrs. Hammond turned to me. Oh, he's still here; it's nice that he's concerned, but he should get back to class. "You can go back to class now."
"I'm supposed to stay with her," I answered with complete confidence, knowing that she wouldn't force me to leave. Sure enough, she pursed her lips but decided not to argue.
Turning to Bella, Mrs. Hammond said, "I'll get some ice for your forehead, dear." Hmm, ice, yes – and a quick talk with Ms. Cope about Edward… Off to gossip: typical.
When the nurse was gone, Bella let out a moan and seemed to collapse, like she had been tense before but now relaxed; closing her eyes, she murmured, "You were right."
"I usually am – but about what in particular this time?" My mood had been good, but now I was reminded of that nightly activity I had pursued –sneaking into her room – by how Bella looked, her eyes closed and her posture relaxed completely.
"Ditching is healthy," she muttered, controlling her breathing again to calm it. I could hear her heartbeat from where I stood by the wall; she wasn't panicked by being alone in the room with me.
I tried to figure out what to tell her – and settled on telling her one truth that my mind had conjured up in the few moments before I realized that she was still alive, if lying on the concrete. "You scared me for a minute there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."
"Ha ha." Her eyes were delicately closed, her skin still eerily similar to mine, but she was gaining the blush back in her cheeks every minute.
"Honestly," I smirked, "I've seen corpses with better color." I had, too, I thought darkly – in those few rebellious years, I had seen many corpses and dead. "I was concerned I might have to avenge your murder." Although, since it was Newton, it would have been one I would have condoned, had it been my rebellious years.
"Poor Mike," she sighed. "I'll bet he's mad." Her perception of Mike was interesting – I believed she saw him as a friend and nothing more, despite his own feelings for her, but she could also see that he had thoughts like the ones I continually overheard.
"He absolutely loathes me," I admitted cheerfully. I had no concerns for the feelings of human teenage boys towards me, and couldn't care less what the thought of me.
She argued back, of course – I was beginning to see that she could be very stubborn in some things, this included. "You can't know that."
"I saw his face – I could tell." I also heard his mind, Bella, but you can't know that. You should not know anything that could put you in danger.
"How did you see me? I thought you were ditching?" Her question almost caught me off guard, despite the fact that I was expecting it. Of course she would ask what I had been doing so that I would have known where she was when she was – Bella was extremely observant, after all.
Lucky for me, I already had formulated an answer. "I was in my car, listening to a CD." She seemed to either accept that answer, or intuitively know not to ask while Mrs. Hammond was in the room – she came in just after I answered. Bella's eyes opened to see her come in with the cold compress.
"Here you go dear," she said, lying it on Bella's forehead. "You're looking better," she added, carefully eyeing her. She certainly looks like she has more color in her cheeks. Maybe she just needed to rest for a minute – she certainly looks fine now.
"I think I'm fine," Bella answered, sitting up on the doubtless-uncomfortable mattress. I wanted to tell her to lie back down, and Mrs. Hammond agreed – but then I heard the unmistakable thoughts of Mike Newton, accompanied by Lee Stephens. Ms. Cope stuck her head in the room; "We've got another one." Poor Lee…
I just bet that Cullen is still in here with Bella. I hope he gets kicked out of there – he wasn't even in class. Maybe I should drop a hint with Ms. Cope that he ditched – but I bet Bella doesn't like snitches.
Oh jeez, I feel awful. I really hope that I might be able to just lie here for a long time, because I don't think I'll be able to get back up. Mike isn't helping much – I bet he's still obsessing about Bella Swan. Honestly, I can tell she doesn't like the dude. She probably is into Edward Cullen – oh, jolt, jolt, stomach upset oohh…
I was holding back a grin at Lee's thoughts as they came into the room, and Bella hopped off the cot. "Here, I don't need this," she said, handing the cold compress back to the nurse.
Then the two boys staggered through the door – I had to agree with Lee, Mike was doing hardly anything to help support the poor boy – and I drew back further against the wall, trying to stay out of the way of them.
The scent of exposed blood hit me, although it wasn't nearly as strong as Bella's.
"Oh no," I muttered, mainly to myself – I had to get out of here, now. But if I did, Bella would be suspicious – Bella! She would faint again at the sight of blood. "Go out to the office, Bella."
She looked up at me, confused as to what I meant. "Trust me – go," I told her, not knowing what else to say to get her out of here.
The fact that she spun around and darted out after a strange look crossed her face shocked me. Did she really trust me when I asked her to do something, or was that because she had caught on to what was wrong with Lee? I followed her, trying to puzzle it out. "You actually listened to me," I marveled; imagine that, the prey obeying the hunter.
I did not expect her next statement. Wrinkling her nose, she stood there, looking slightly paler again and said, "I smelled the blood." Her color whitened a bit at just the thought of it.
My mind was completely blank for a minute before I said, "People can't smell blood." It was impossible for a human to catch a scent of blood – vampires smelled it differently, but it was still utterly impossible for a human to smell it at all.
"Well, I can – that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust…and salt." Her description of the scent didn't sound like what I smelled whenever I hunted – to me, the scent of blood in any creature was especially good. But for a human to smell it at all was unusual, I reminded myself. It was strange that she could. Another strange thing about her.
"What?" she asked, looking up at me in confusion. "What is it?"
"It's nothing," I told her, setting it aside for now. I could ask her questions later, but at the moment Mike was coming out of the nurse's office and seeking Bella. I would rather not look at him any more than I had to today – or any other day, for that matter.
Out of all the annoyances humans offered, he was one of the worst at this point in time, bothering Bella as much as he was. Jealousy was not an emotion I liked very much, I mused as I stood there patiently, Mike glancing from Bella to me – with pure loathing – and back.
I moved towards the counter, standing beside it as I kept my gaze away from the two of them, trying to stay out of the conversation – I had no reason to want to know about it, and I shouldn't care to hear whatever Bella chose to talk to Newton about.
My mind was, instead, occupied on what she had said about the scent of blood to her. Even though she shouldn't be able to smell the blood of anything, she did – and it repelled her, like a vile stench she couldn't escape.
At least, that's what I gathered – from her aversion to it, the nausea, and the fact that those two things she described it as – rust and salt – would not really be a pleasant combination to endure. Where had this trait come from, I wondered, this thing she had that made her shy away from the scent of blood like this?
It could be a genetics thing – it could be anything, really. Another thing about Bella Swan that was out of the norm: she could smell blood, her mind was blocked from my reach, and her scent was so appealing to me that it was torture to stand where I was and not dive towards her, sinking my teeth into her lovely, pale throat.
As much as I was attempting to stay out of their conversation, I still caught the drift even as I blocked the verbal noises from my mind; the mental thoughts of Newton came through like they were being spoken aloud, and I had not found a way yet to block anyone's thoughts. Bella was her own category of person, though.
Newton had apparently invited Bella on a beach trip that their group of friends was going on this weekend. Mentally, I frowned; I was going to be gone this weekend, hunting again like I was wont to do more often now that Bella was around.
Clearly not wanting me to come, I could sense Mike's body language from where I stood – not to mention his thoughts were venomous of me, as he mentally told me to stay away. I almost laughed at the irony of it – I could actually hear him telling me to back off, even though he didn't know it.
When Mike left the room, I turned to Bella once again, moving forward quietly. Ms. Cope had come back to her desk anyway – she was turned around, thinking about the schedules she had to organize for some fundraiser or such, and hadn't seen us standing there yet.
Bella's face was clear for a few moments as she obviously thought over something – and then turned to a strange mix of horror, disbelief, and reluctance. "Gym," she moaned as if she were being sent to hell itself.
Pursing my lips, I considered a plan that had begun to form in my mind – I knew that she still didn't look well enough to stay around for the rest of the day, and decided to take this matter into my own hands. I could drive her home – I knew where her home was, of course, I shamefully winced. It was in Alice's vision, when I had driven us home that day before leaving for Denali.
Nevertheless, if she was so averse to the joy – sarcasm deeply meant – of a pathetic gym class, then why should I not offer her escape from it? Admittedly, I wanted a chance to ask her more questions about anything, everything, I could. Merely a cover, a ride home to get her away from the class could be easily arranged.
I wondered if she would want me to help her at all. Maybe she would prefer that I not help her in the slightest; but I had to take a chance, didn't I? The dangerous implications of offering were not lost on me, however – alone with her for an indeterminate amount of time? No one else around us to interrupt and no one to know I had gone with her?
The monster in me growled in anticipation of pushing me over the edge; I could smell her from right where I stood, even with no air pushing that tantalizing scent this way.
Mrs. Cope bustled behind her desk, chattering to herself in her head about schedules and other various things. She would know, I told myself forcefully. There is that safeguard; at least that one person would notice if Bella Swan went missing after Edward Cullen took her home.
I was selfish for this, I told myself as I silently moved closer to her. But it was a strange need that could not be denied; I wanted desperately to spend at least a short time talking to her, although she seemed not to know it. Outside, the bell sounded to signal the next class start, too faint for us in the office to hear: the staff only knew that students had to go to their next classes by the clock on the wall.
Moving deliberately slowly so as not to startle her too badly, I muttered by Bella's ear, "I can take care of that." Her heart let out an unsteady beat anyway, as she had been startled by my 'sudden' appearance. "Go sit down and look pale."
The anticipation that half of me felt, wanting her not to listen to me, failed as she obeyed silently; relief flashed over her face, and skepticism, but she sat in a chair by the wall, leaning her head back. Throat exposure like that I could not handle for too long, so I looked away – but she looked pale and faint enough that it just might work.
"Mrs. Cope?" I quietly asked as I moved to the front desk, behind which she was perched, sorting through papers and things.
I really must get those new schedules done – oh, my, Edward! I wonder if there is a problem; didn't the next class already start? "Yes?"
Innocent expression aside, I looked straight at her, convincingly, as I told her our excuse. "Bella has Gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you can excuse her from class?"
Oh, of course I can! The poor dear does still look rather ill; I do hope she feels better soon! "Do you need to be excused, too, Edward?" Mrs. Cope marked it into the computer system the school had set up.
"No, I have Mrs. Goff, she won't mind." My Spanish teacher would definitely not mind – honestly, the minds of some human women were so petty. She would let me get away with skipping class for no other reason than my physical appearance – and this was the type of person who taught the human youths!
Of course she won't mind, Mrs. Cope grumbled in her mind, knowing exactly the reasons that she wouldn't. "Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better, Bella," she called to her over the counter before resuming her work.
Turning around to see her, I smirked as I saw only a brief, weak nod and no other movement. For a moment, I was concerned – was she really faint or was she acting – before I noticed that she seemed to be holding herself upright surprisingly tightly for a 'sick' person.
"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" I couldn't help but tease her, sarcasm evident in my voice. To think that she, an innocent human girl, would want me, an undead creature, to even touch her was preposterous.
The faint blush on her cheeks as she stood surprised me; why would she blush when she shouldn't want me to carry her? Or was it the suggestion that embarrassed her? Holding open the door for her, I watched as she delicately waked out into the slightly misty day with the thoughts of all the reasons she should not seem to feel so comfortable around me as it appeared she did.
She headed out to the parking lot as I followed her. "Thanks. It's almost worth getting sick to miss Gym." So she really disliked the class, hmm? I wondered if that had anything to do with the apparent clumsiness that plagued her.
I could not look at her as I walked, my strides now carrying me along beside her. With her head tilted up like it was, I was given quite a clear view of her throat, pale and delicate. "Anytime." The rain fell enough to confuse my eyes: vampire eyes, specially designed to catch small movements and now swamped with seeing each raindrop fall individually to the ground.
A brief silence was broken when she asked hesitantly, "So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" If I hadn't been able to multi task in the office, it would have missed me that Newton had invited her to some type of beach trip with a crowd of other juveniles; obviously, I had been able to hear him talking, never mind vampire hearing.
It was not that I had no wish to spend more time around this fascinating human, Bella, but that it was a beach trip in itself. I could simply imagine the horrors that could ensue if one of them so much as got a paper cut – a bloody rampage, me being a murderer without even a hint of control over myself.
The risk in itself was great, and there was also the fact that my family and I distanced ourselves in order to keep humans from noticing too much about us and what we were. Add in Bella to the equation and the simple trip would be deadly.
Something tugged at me, and then in a flash I realized that I had forgotten our location in the world. "Where are you all going, exactly?" The only beaches I knew of around here were off-limits to us, the Cullen family.
"Down to La Push, to First Beach." Instinctively I knew her eyes were watching me and I attempted to control myself, but my eyes still narrowed the slightest bit at her venturing into…their territory. Werewolves; I wished I could tell her not to go, but I knew that nothing I said wouldn't be suspicious.
Looking down at her from the corner of my eye, I saw that she was trying to puzzle something out in her head while waiting for my answer; wishing to cut off her thoughts but knowing I wouldn't with my reply, I said it anyway. "I really don't think I was invited."
She sighed in deep-set annoyance. "I just invited you." Her logic shouldn't be making me want to go with her; I longed for the days of my past when everything wasn't as confusing to me as it was now.
Everything she said made those feelings I never felt before twist inside me, and I found myself wanting to abandon reason and go with it, just this one time in my life; I clamped down on myself hard as I gave Bella a smile, imagining what I replied. "Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap."
Under her breath, she muttered, "Mike-schmike." But I saw that she was now brooding over something else: this human would never cease to interest me with all of her lapses into silence that eventually led to some insight.
As we neared my car, she suddenly veered off to the left, heading towards her monstrosity of a truck. I caught the back of her jacket with one hand, pulling her back on track – I had expected different things about her from the moment I first spoke with her, but this defied explanation.
"Where do you think you're going?" My voice was quite angry even though I was controlling myself, but I still waited impatiently for her answer as she stared at me in confusion, her large brown eyes blinking up at me.
"I'm going home," she replied slowly, saying it as if it was obvious. My anger simply flared at the thought of her driving by herself on wet roads in the forest area that is Forks.
"Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home?" I knew this was more abut me questioning myself than her not trusting me to control myself – but wait, she didn't know that. She just thought I had offered to take her home and thought she was declining the offer. "Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?"
"What condition?" Was she just out to make me antagonized or was she really clueless as to the fact that she was still swaying lightly underneath my grasp – I felt the fabric tug very lightly as my fingertips, the only way I knew she was only just wobbling. "And what about my truck?" she complained.
"I'll have Alice drop it off after school." Towing her towards my car by the jacket, I was thankful that at least she wasn't putting up a fight – although I did have to wonder wickedly to myself what Newton would be thinking if he saw me practically dragging Bella towards my car.
"Let me go!" she insisted, even as she moved her feet to keep from stumbling – she wasn't meekly following, but she wasn't fighting either. She staggered sideways until I released her, wincing as I heard her thump against the car door. At least I didn't break her bones, I reminded myself as she pouted and crossed her arms childishly. "You are so pushy!"
"It's open," I told her. Getting a grip on the anger that raged within me – a serious problem for me by all accounts, my family amongst them – I slid into the driver's seat and waited for her to get in.
"I am perfectly capable of driving myself home!" she retorted, fuming in the rain, as it grew harder; her hood was down and she was getting soaked. This was completely ridiculous.
"Get in, Bella." I leaned across the car to look at her as I rolled down the passenger's side window. The expression on her face told me all I needed to know, surprisingly; she was contemplating making a run for it.
If she did that, then I was going to have to jump out of this car and run after her. "I'll just drag you back." She took my threat seriously and climbed into the car with a sulky expression, soaked although not yet shivering.
"This is completely unnecessary," was all she had to say. Not bothering with an answer – she wouldn't listen to me if she was pouting like she was now – I shifted the control in my car, turning the heater up for her and, sadly, my music down.
If I had a beating heart, it would be pounding unsteadily for the proximity of her to me in this car. Alone for the time being, I wondered about her silence – her face was sulky yet she still intoxicated me, inconceivably – and I wondered what to say.
A chance to really know her, as I know Esme had wanted for me to attempt, and I could think of nothing to ask. All I could seem to sense was she, her warmth and how close she was to me at this very moment – nothing else seemed to matter as I drove in silence, at a comfortable speed.
The scent was enveloping around me in the tight, closed car – my siblings would be slightly annoyed that the car had a human smell in it now – and the monster in me was begging me to take a chance and drink. But I couldn't do that to her, to Bella – not Bella.
Words that I had said before that car would have crushed her, killed her right in front of me. Was there really something strong here, I wondered for a brief minute, before I dismissed the thought: she was an interesting human to me, and this was more an information experience than anything else. No special interest except for why I could not hear her mind.
She startled me with speaking first and with what she asked. "Clair de Lune?" My eyes flashed to her face quickly; she seemed as surprised as I was. But I was surprised that she knew what it was more than she must wonder why I listened to this music.
"You know Debussy?" A strange sense of – something – it had to do with the fact that she knew something that I, too, enjoyed; her, a human girl, had an interest in music that was good! I nearly laughed at the humor of it – my family was not much of a musical group, and here I had found a human girl who knew Debussy!
"Not well," she admitted, and her cheeks gained a very faint blush. "My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house – I only know my favorites." This was one of her favorites. I stored that away in my mind: 'Facts about Isabella Swan'.
"It's one of my favorites, too," I replied lightly as I stared out the windshield. Bella knew about classical music – not at all like most teenagers in this day and age. I was finding that more and more were leaning away from the older music types that I had grown up around and moving forward to newer artists and still-living people.
It happened all through the time I had lived, of course. Things went in and out of style, each generation bringing their own influence. It was a rather amusing process to watch, I had to say to myself. The fact that people could change things so much over mere whim was astounding; what some people did to gain was horrifying.
Music had been one thing that ground me to my human life. My family all was occasionally wistful in thinking of their old human lives – in Rosalie's case, much more than 'wistful' – and I was no exception. My last memories of my parents were when they were sick, and I had gaping holes missing from the pain of transformation and the wearing of time.
But always, I had the memories of music – playing the piano, hearing my parents play together – one composition that my adoptive parents, Carlisle and Esme, didn't know about me the first time I played was that I remembered the tune from my mother. She had played it to me once; I played it only once for them.
After that, I realized that I had to let go of my mother – and besides which, it was only a small portion of the tune, a bit of trying out on a new piano that they had just gotten for me, for the house. After that, I worked on my own things, finding it much more relaxing to put my feelings into the music than to play something I simply remembered from my old life.
It lead to me thinking of what Bella thought about her parents. She lived with Chief Charlie Swan here in Forks – but whom did she leave behind in Phoenix? Her mother – hadn't she said her mother remarried someone named Phil? And she came here to let her mother have her freedom – at the expense of her happiness.
Bella had a large heart to give something like that to her mother; what, I wondered, type of person was her mother? I could barely remember mine, but the pain no longer hurt anymore – she was gone, and that was that. But Bella's mother was here, alive. "What is your mother like?"
I found myself watching her with curiosity in my eyes. She looked up at me, startled but not overly shocked. "She looks a lot like me, but she's prettier." My eyebrows rose; how could anyone be prettier than her? She was beautiful herself, I found myself thinking. "I have too much Charlie in me. She's more outgoing than I am, and braver. She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend."
From her voice, her expressions, I saw that her mother seemed to be everything she was not – in her opinion, of course. She looked sad after she was done, obviously missing the woman very much. But I could not help but feel a trifle irritated.
She was such a complex person; it was hard to believe she was only a senior in high school. From her description of her mother, her mind functioned at a very high level. "How old are you, Bella?" Maybe she was older than high school age. Parking the car I stared back down at her, frowning and trying to solve the mystery.
"I'm seventeen," she answered; was it just my imagination, or did she seem confused again?
"You don't seem seventeen." All I could puzzle out about her was that she had a strange mind, which was already obvious to me, and I knew it – for someone with so much intelligence, how could her mind be blocked from me? What were the reasons, the purposes of that?
She laughed; my curiosity grew about her. Her laugh was beautiful to listen to, I had to say, but I saw no reason for it. "What?"
"My mom always said I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year." Her small sigh and soft addition were tinged with sadness. "Well, someone has to be the adult."
So was that it? She acted as the mature on out of the two women, and that made her feel less about herself? The reasoning was strange; I had to work on this more. Her next observation called for a distraction from this train of thought. "You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself."
Making a face, I shifted to the next topic in line. "So why did your mother marry Phil?"
Brief surprise flitted across her face – I wondered what it was for. "My mother…she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him." She shook her head, obviously thinking about something.
I wondered what her head shaking meant. "Do you approve?"
"Does it matter? I want her to be happy…and he is who she wants." The 'giving' bit of her nature was very prominent according to everything she had told me. That she would simply only want her mother to be happy with whoever she wanted to was something I had not come across in many people before.
"That's very generous…I wonder," I mused aloud. The attraction I felt towards her was obviously very strong, and although I did not fully understand it, I had to admit that I was very curious about why I felt such a strong connection to her; I had only known her for an incredibly short time.
"What?"
"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?" My eyes were once again focused resolutely on hers, trying to find the answer in her mind. I told myself that it was merely because I was…concerned about her; that was all this was, a passing interrogation because I was beginning to see her as family in some twisted way.
"I-I think so," she stuttered, hesitant and uncertain of footing as I stared relentlessly down at her. "But she's the parent, after all. It's a little bit different." The surprise I felt at the spurt of relief was not much compared to how anxiety flung itself back at me.
"No one too scary then," I teased, unable to stop the nerves gathering in the pit of my stomach at the thought that she would likely go to whatever suitor she pleased, never mind whether her mother approved or not; if I was right, she would probably talk her into giving her the same treatment or acceptance Phil received.
Her grin was pleasing to see; "What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?" I bit back the retort that those types of things would have labeled someone in society as a scoundrel back in my – no, in my parents' day.
"That's one definition, I suppose." Especially in 1901, yes, that would label someone as scary. But I was not thinking about someone like that – I shocked myself deeply when I realized I meant fear of something like me.
Like she had read my mind, her reply came then. "What's your definition?" All I could consider at the moment was the fact that I had asked something in order to know if she would ever consider me to be someone of interest in the ways that my siblings and parents had each other.
Well, too late to back down now. I ignored her question and asked another of my own with a deceptively calm grin. "Do you think that I could be scary?" I knew that it wasn't truly to late to step out of this before I asked that but now it certainly was.
She debated something in her mind as I waited on pins and needles to find out what she thought about that. Conflicting wishes made me happy and exasperated at the same time when she said, "Hmmm…I think you could be, if you wanted to."
That wouldn't do for one reason; I was dangerous. Vampires are not meant to be friendly to their prey, and here I was chatting to one like there was nothing different about me at all. "Are you frightened of me now?" I asked, blanking my face completely – it wasn't that hard; I wanted to know what she really thought.
I heard the unsteady heartbeat and saw her eyes widen ever so slightly – but she snapped back, "No." The reply came too fast for her to actually mean it; the common sense part of me was pleased that she had the same sense and I smiled again, knowing that she had at least some caution.
If I hadn't paid attention, I wouldn't have caught the slyly understated tone of her words, "So, now are you going to tell me about your family? That's got to be a more interesting story than mine."
Instantly, I was on guard – it was nothing more than a reflex for when people wanted to know more about our families than they already did. "What do you want to know?"
She started simple, verifying what school gossip had told her. "The Cullens adopted you?"
Easy enough. "Yes."
Her brief hesitation before, "What happened to your parents?" told me that she wasn't certain if it was all right to ask about them.
I wasn't sad as I answered, "They died many years ago," because it was pure fact – I had had more, much more, than enough time to come to terms with the fact that they were gone.
"I'm sorry." Her mumbled apology and the blush rising made me feel the need to comfort her for thinking she had done something or said something wrong. These blasted feelings were very annoying – if I could just solve the puzzle as to what they were everything would be so much easier.
"I don't really remember them that clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."
"And you love them," she stated simply, like it was fact. And it was; how she had been able to cut straight to that was an accomplishment, I have to say.
"Yes," I smiled. "I couldn't imagine two better people." It was a tragedy really; we were likely deemed to be going straight to hell if we ever died, by the Volturi's hands or another vampires'. None of my family deserved that fate.
"You're very lucky." I had to remind myself for a moment that she just meant I was lucky to have my family, my adoptive siblings and parents.
"I know I am."
"And your brother and sister?" This conversation was getting trickier by the minute. Alice was going to ask me what I had told her, and if I said much more Rosalie was going to pounce on me before she even stepped into the car.
Glancing at the clock to try and buy some time, I saw just how much of it had slipped away from us – class would be five minutes over by the time I got back to school. "My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."
"Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go." She seemed hesitant to leave the car and get out into the rain, which still steadily poured down.
"And you probably want your truck back before Chief Swan gets home, so you don't have to tell him about the Biology incident." I grinned, knowing that would make her move faster; not that I didn't want to stay, but I was going to be in large amounts of trouble as it was with Rosalie. Might as well decrease the minimum amount of pain she could cause.
"I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks," she sighed; I laughed at how ironic it was that she was talking to one of the 'people' with the largest secret out there.
"Have fun at the beach…good weather for sunbathing." The rain pouring out the window seemed to contradict that statement for now, but I knew – via Alice – that the weather would be very nice indeed this weekend.
We had made plans already – Emmett and I – to go on a hunting trip; I needed it and he offered to come with me. The small excursion with Jasper after school today was more of a walk in the woods, not an actual hunting expedition; he mostly wanted to talk. That was how I knew he did, for he only really hunted with Alice.
"Won't I see you tomorrow?" Bella caught on to the fact that I was saying goodbye for the weekend – on a Thursday.
"No. Emmett and I are starting the weekend early."
"What are you going to do?" She sounded disappointed that I wasn't going to be there tomorrow; my heart leapt at the thought for the fault of those blasted indiscernible emotions. That she was asking – the prey I most wanted to hunt – was something I couldn't escape the irony of, either. There certainly was a lot of irony floating around her, wasn't there?
Nevertheless, I answered as well as I could, trying not to fidget as I saw the time again – it wasn't that hard not to, however, as I did partly want to stay with Bella. "We're going to be hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier." Which, of course, meant hunting there.
"Oh, well, have fun," she said; she was trying to be enthusiastic, but it fell flat. I tried to stop smiling at her unintentional well-wishing for me to have fun on my hunt with my brother.
Thinking of hunting, however, reminded me that I wasn't going to be here for a while – not until Wednesday, at least – because of good weather. Panic swiftly flew up; she could kill herself any number of ways if I wasn't here to keep herself from danger.
I couldn't stay, no matter how much I wanted to. But surely she could try to keep herself safe. "Will you do something for me this weekend?" My eyes locked onto hers, her deep brown eyes wide as she voicelessly nodded.
"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So…try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" Smiling slightly, I watched her face to see what I logically predicted I would – indignance that I would say something directly about her clumsiness.
For once, I was right as she glared up at me. "I'll see what I can do," she snapped as she shot out of the car into the pouring sheets of rain. Slamming the door behind herself, she stomped up to the door and turned to glare back at me.
Smiling as I drove away, I recounted how I had been able to predict her reactions just this once – maybe she wasn't as different as the female humans as I thought. Bella was still insulted by my mentioning that she wasn't particularly graceful.
Glancing at the clock again, I noted how I would be well over five minutes late by the time I got back to them – most likely, I would be ten minutes past the school release bell. My strangely joyful mood lessened before growing again as I thought of how I had just spent a good chunk of time learning more about Bella.
The only good thing about me being late, I thought, was that there would be virtually no humans around the school anymore – probably not even the staff would be there anymore. No one would be there to see Alice take Bella's truck back to her – which would likely be in the way that only a vampire could.
A/N – Don't kill me.
Please don't kill me.
I moved the A/N down here so you all could immediately start reading the chapter (since I took so much longer than I thought I would on it). I really have nothing to say for myself – not really.
I just got so caught up in writing the story plans for two other stories of mine! I COMPLETELY finished the 'Desecration Smile' story plan (H.P. Fanfic) and the story plan for 'Curse' (Twilight Fanfic). That is VERY good news, right?
Of course, I was going to completely write those stories before posting them, because I want to be able to regularly update – which I often can't do on the stories I have going, because there is so much other crap going on at the same time! I am SO sorry!
Well, this chapter I made a tiny bit extra long, hopefully you liked it! I also have to say, that never listen to non-stop repeat while writing an entire (yes, this ENTIRE) chapter: 'Eye Deh A Mi Knee' by Sean Paul if you don't want to be singing it while typing, singing in the shower, singing while out of the house, singing while eating…trust me, it's possible. I did it. :)
Anyway, I now have my right hand raised and my left one on the book 'Twilight' and here are my words verbatim:
"I, BlueSea14, will never make a promise about updating a Fanfiction of mine unless I have already finished the next chapter and plan to release it on said date like I am planning for the Fanfictions that I was working on when I should have been faithfully following this chapter of 'Sunrise'."
In all seriousness, I DID just actually do that. Authoresses promise.
On another notice, I would like you all to be informed, in the hopes that you will not get mad at me, that this entire chapter is 38 pages on Microsoft Word. So, you don't have to kill me for putting up some pathetic dinky chapter and will nicely review now, right?
…Right?
