Next couple of months were a blur, I managed to break up the status quo and get everyone involved with each other now the safe heaven feels more like a community. Rock was impressed with everyone talking and coming together, more people saw out Megan asking her for her advice as a counselor, while Chad and Dj help everybody learn the basics they need to survive. My classes heavily weighted on them working together and playing too each other strengthens to hide their weaknesses. Eventually, I break them down into groups at least one of each formally mention groups came together and I gave them a challenge, create a trap or a defense mechanism for the base as their final project. While my teaching skills were striving personally I was facing a completely different monster entirely. PTSD, anxiety disorder, night terrors, alongside my auditory and visual hallucinations that still somewhat effects me in and outside my sleep. Megan believes this is all do that camera that I attached myself too, almost like that was a weight that's drowning me, but I can't let go of it and I refuse to let her watch any more of it. One day I left it alone in the room and she almost broke it so against her wishes I started carrying it with me everywhere. I don't see Maria as much anymore but I can still hear her from time to time telling me that I 'forgot' the reason I stayed alive that I 'forgot' about her. Nevertheless, I continued training my students after a while more people showed up joining our community but still that couldn't even change the fact that one day Terrence's words will become reality.

"Hey did you guys find anything?" I asked

"Nope! Who's idea was this anyway for us to scavenge at this busted up ass mall?" Chad asked

"Well I'm sorry but last time I checked Dj can't live off pain meds and water. He did well for his first time out without you still he hit his head pretty hard." Megan said

"Yeah, I know I'm just glad he woke up like what the hell was he thinking bomb rushing in like that." He said

"He was thinking about the others. Not many people would've had the balls to go back for somebody else especially when they were being attacked by hunters no less." I said collecting a few cans

"At least nobody died this time the worst injury was the hit on the head with DJ till than everybody was okay thanks to somebody's training." She said

"Hey this is interesting, " I said holding up a box, "Yo Megs ever used hair dye before?" I asked

"Yeah but I don't why that's important now we need food and more weapons." She said

"Well lucky for us there was a hunter's shop here that I happily raided. A lot of blades and arrows but nothing good enough for an all-out attack especially since the blades isn't made for throwing so long distance combat doesn't come to mind with these type of weapons." I said

"Hey! We should get moving there's nothing here." Chad said

"What about that store pass the rubble on the second floor?" Megan pointed out

"I got it hopefully it has more food," I said running towards the edge of a leaning floor climbing my way up to the second floor

The dim lighting in the room barely allowed me to see the items around me. A couple of broken down selves some empty shells old dried blood on the floors it was nothing new to me during our scavenges, but what was new was the Illuminati symbol eerily drawn on the walls in blood it was a pyramid with spider perfectly symmetrically aligned and center within the pyramid. I walked over staring at the symbol before placing my hand over the spider.

"You know it's gonna happen sooner or later right?" Maria whispered

"As long as it's not today. Can you answer something for me?" I asked

"Shoot." She said

"If I hadn't taken the deal would somebody else have?" I asked

"Sadly enough I can't answer that." She said

"Of course you can't but I'm moving past this one day at a time," I said wiping the spider off the wall before looking around once more

I grabbed a couple of cans and found a few jugs of half-opened water before noticing something odd. I crawled up to the third floor more blood covered the floor even leaked from up above dripping into a small pool under the cracked surface. At this point, it was clear to see that this blood was coming from a fresh victim or victims. Normally I'd ignore it but my curiosity had gotten the better of me as I climbed up to the third floor, the bodies smelled rotten slowly decaying under the rubble but the wounds were from something or someone else. I'm not proud of it but I grabbed the bags of supplies off the bodies along with their weapons before heading back down.

"Did you find anything?" Megan asked

"Ummmm yeah, I found a mess. We should get out of here where's Chad?" I asked

"Hotwiring a car," Megan said, "Now about that hair dye you came across earlier need help putting it in or no?" She asked

"Well duh, I wouldn't have asked if I knew how to put it in and there's another thing I need to do and I need your help with it," I said

"What is it, Erica?" She asked as I held out the camera

"Help me bury my grief help me let go of my past," I said

"This is a really big step, Erica. Are you sure you're ready to do this? Are you sure you're ready to give it up?" She asked

"For me to truly move on there are some things I must confess to and you're the only one I trust so...help me out with this one?" I asked

"Of course." She replied

"Goddamn Bring Your Asses The Engine Won't Run Forever!" Chad yelled

When we got back to the camp we had an idea to build walls around us to set up some kind of perimeter around the warehouse. Some of the groups used my old traps as safety measures some actually found some tennis machines and repurposed it to shoot off BBs' and beanbags. They set up some great defenses for the base it made me proud as a teacher to see them grow and evolve into a community but as a person hiding who I really am, I felt ashamed. I went around the warehouse waving and smiling at everyone dropping off the items we had found as normal before going to my room sitting down the camera in front of me before taking a sit myself.

"Are you sure you want to forget?" She asked

"I'm not forgetting I'm honoring and letting go," I said

"Are you going to watch it?" She asked

"One last time, but for the first time I'm not going to watch it alone," I said just as Megan opened the door

"Which one first? Your hair or that annoying camera?" She asked

"Sit down with me?" I asked

She nodded and grabbed a seat beside me I played one of the early videos on the camera when I was happy when I was in love when I was at peace more often than I have been in the recent years that have past. Maria was often holding the camera putting it on me while I lightly smack it away or cover it up telling her to stop it joking around. When the camera was on me I was often caught on my phone looking away from her and the world she saw at one point she took my phone and ran off with it. I chased her down only for her to throw it into an ocean before turning back to me I looked pissed looking over the railing before looking at her grabbing the camera and turned it off.

"Wow. She just wanted to spend time with you, you do realize that right?" She asked

"Yeah. I do now umm next video." I said grabbing the camera putting the next video on

We were on a road trip I was driving still mad about my about phone she turned the camera out the window before I grabbed her attention we had made a deal about me using my phone while we were together. I, of course, accepted the deal and we made up over a few miles of car karaoke and a few puns and cheesy jokes I looked happy she was happy we were happy.

"You guys look cute and happy." She said

"Yeah. She was the only person to have that effect on me especially the car karaoke. Like, do you hear my voice I sound terrible!" I said

"You sound fine, compare me you sound like an angle." She said smiling lightly nudging me

"Alright alright alright thanks still the best is yet to come," I said

The next few videos were just of Maria and I enjoyed the city enjoying life and being around each other. I was laughing and smiling holding her hand walking on the beach dancing like an idiot to impress her. We did everything together and I couldn't be happier neither could she after a few videos of us being together it was time. I had a beach dinner set up it was sunset and I gave somebody else the camera after eating and talking I proposed and she to my surprise she said yes. The next video was the wedding set on the same beach we got engaged on a few months later an exchange of vows and rings a simple dance feeding each other cake slightly smacking each other in the face with a slice only to laugh it off.

"She was so beautiful that day I didn't deserve it. I still don't she deserved so much than what I gave her. God if I had just one more day to keep her close but I can't. I want to show you the last video tomorrow in the morning when we head out to the waterfall until wanna get started with the dye?" I asked

"Yeah but why tomorrow?" She asked in a slightly sadden tone

"Because you've already seen some parts of the video. I know you have it's alright but I don't think you've seen the whole video if you have you wouldn't stand me." I said

"I highly doubt that but I'm glad you're getting better and you're taking your treatment seriously still I never thought musical therapy and just talking would work." She said

"Yeah, I don't even have anxiety attacks anymore the night terrors decreased I don't suffer from my PTSD anymore," I said

"But you still have your auditory and visual hallucinations right?" She asked

"Yeah, she still whispers in the back of my head but I rarely see her anymore," I said standing up looking around for the dye and a towel

"But you still see her you still see her over me sometimes, don't you?" She asked glancing away

"As I said rarely more and more time I spend with you the more I see you for you so yeah it's getting better," I said confidently trying to mask my lie, "Now can you help dye my hair and tell me whatever happened between you and Rock?" I asked wrapping the towel around my shoulders

"Oh God, that's a long story." She said

"I got time," I said leading the way to the shower

"Okay okay grabbed a sit and untie your hair. Did wash your hair beforehand?" She asked

"No, we just got here remember?" I asked taking down my ponytail and untangling my hair

"Oh yeah, I guess I can do it for you now about Rock." She started leaning me towards the sink turning on the water, "When I first met Rock he was obsessed with finding and killing Tarantula. His story isn't complicated after the death of President Roan the ones who advocated for the Purge went on the killing spree like a free for all. He had kids one boy and girl that he obviously loved dearly he told me that a couple of people ransack his house made his kids watch as they torment him that's why he has those scars. Anyway, they tried to get him to kill his own kids but he wouldn't do it so they forced him to watch as they killed them. He had a tuff time getting over it to the point where he thought controlling everything around him would make things better than he didn't have to lose anybody else." She said rubbing her fingers through my hair

"What does that have to do with you?" I asked

"Like I said he thought controlling everything was a way to keep everything but once he started controlling people. He became blind to the fact that well no one was happy this camp felt more like a dictatorship a prison even. I knew I had to do something so I got close to him and created a bond but I also found out that he had a shrine dedicated to finding Tarantula blaming them for what happened to his family. Eventually, I got him to take it down and he started to relax more allowing people in and out of camp he was becoming the leader you see now. At one point I really did love Rock but after a while, I couldn't put up with his controlling behavior after finding out the truth and helping him, he realized that we shouldn't be together so we broke up. I understood it was a mutual break up after a few days we got better after a few weeks we became friends but than Terrence showed up and I fucking hated his decision-making skills ever since." She said

"That makes sense. So you don't hate him you just hate some of the choices he makes?" I asked

"Hate the sin love the sinner. He tries his hardest to look out for everyone and sure his made some mistakes but he's human. Not to sound biased but he gave me a second chance it's only fair that I look out for him." She said raising out my hair

"What was it like living with the monsters of the Purge?" I asked

"It was like walking on consist eggshells they allowed me in certain rooms with barely living victims inside. Blood was everywhere screaming would echo down every hall those monsters strive on madness mayhem and chaos. I wouldn't want that suffering on even my worst enemy people are toys to them some even consider people a food source. No one is sane and those that are sane chose to live in madness until it consumes them." She said

"Why did you leave?" I asked

"That's another story for later and you're done." She replied drying off my hair

I sat up warping the towel around my head, "Sorry if I asked way too many questions but there's one more thing I need to know." I said

"What is it, Erica?" She asked

"What if hypnotically you met Tarantula, what would you do?" I asked

"I'd asked why? What was going on in their head? Do they regret it?" She asked

"You'd give them a chance? You wouldn't be mad or hateful?" I asked

"Of course I'd be mad but I'd give a chance to speak their peace because I feel like this is something they didn't see coming. That they're suffering from this just as much as anybody else and I'd be no better than those monsters if I didn't." She said

"I should get going you know I got a class to teach," I said leaving

She knew she probably always known but I was so careful about keeping my secret keeping my identity hidden that I basically made it obvious to her that I at least know something about Tarantula. I couldn't fully focus on my class blanking in and out of my own idea process her words echoed in my head 'speak their peace' speak my peace. I stayed up later than normal just walking around camp asking myself if I'm really ready to go through with this. I sat down under a familiar tree staring at the sky pulling the camera out my jacket pocket.

"I honestly wish it was me over you, but they clearly wanted me to die. This idea of revenge isn't you, it's my excuse to keep living but it's not working anymore. Nothing ever worked and all of this is my fault cause I wanted better for you for us for a life that I never thought I would have only to realize it's a life I'll never get. I just want a reason to stay here but I've had enough after tomorrow you'll get your wish. You hear me?" I asked

"Just a little while longer," Maria replied, "Stay alive a little while longer."

"Give me a reason just one cause everything I do cause tragedy I'm not dumb they know I'm alive and they're coming for me and...I just want to die so no one else has to go through this." I said

"You love her, don't you? Killing yourself isn't going to protect her it's only going to hurt her even more. She knows your secret stop running because at this point she's just waiting for you to tell her." She said

"Why? She should hate me and let's be honest what if I'm just some experiment to her?" I asked

"Heh, you are so stupid, think about the way she looks at you and how she reactions when you bring up your visual hallucinations. She cares about you deeply just like how I once did just tell her and maybe I'll just leave you alone." She said

"What!?" I said looking to see nothing there

I tried to talk to her one more time but she wasn't coming back no matter how hard I tried calling out for her. I walked back to the warehouse and into my room noticing Megan sitting up against the wall I smiled knowing she tried waiting for me before dozing off. I covered her up with a blanket and laid her down gentle brushing her hair out her face before going to my mat until I felt a light grip on the sleeve of my shirt. I turned around to see her pulling my arm towards her chest carefully holding onto it like it was a stuffed animal. I laid down on the floor with my arm in her grip I couldn't really get it back laying my head on her mat pulling the cover on my bed with my feet I eventually nodded off.