MANDANA

"Do you think you have room for some more?" Hanah held up the porridge pan and Finn nodded vigoursly.

"Yes, please grandmi," he grinned and held out his bowel, which Hanah filled with a chuckle.

"I have never known anyone eat as much at breakfast than you do, Finny Ashton." She ruffled his hair on the way to returning her pot to the stove and Finn continued to eat his porridge as if he was starving!

It was early morning in the Tanger house and most of the household were up and getting ready for the day ahead. Hanah had crept out of Lilly's bed when the rooster's first crow sounded. Lilly had finally fallen asleep just before dawn after a night of tossing and turning as she battled her migraine. She barely stirred when Hanah left so she let her sleep on and stepped into to get her grandson ready for school, happy that her daughter was getting much needed rest. Sergi was readying the horse and cart after seeing to the animals and she and Finn were enjoying a leisurely breakfast together.

"So, Finn." Hanah sat at the table and poured herself a cup of tea, "what will you be doing at school today?"

"Well..." Finn thought for a moment or two. "Is today the last day of the week?" He frowned.

"Yes my love," Hanah smiled and sipped her tea.

"Well, because it's the last day of the week," Finn continued, "we normally learn about the animals with Miss Genaral," he grinned and spooned another spoonful of porridge into his mouth.

"You obviously like Miss Genaral."

Finn nodded and reached for his milk. "Yeah, she lets us feed the chickens," he said, drained his drink and then wiped his milk moustache off with the back of his hand. "And she lets us collect the eggs and then she cooks the eggs for our lunch."

"So, you don't need me to pack you anything to eat today?" Hanah stirred her own porridge and blew it before eating it.

"Nope. Not on the last day of the week. The last day of the week we have eggs and special bread that the older kids make," Finn smiled. "I like the last day of the week."

"I'm sure you do," Hanah returned the smile and then carried on with her breakfast. Finn seemed so much happier today and she was glad.

"If you have finished your porridge, you can get down and get your things together," she told her grandson as he placed his spoon in his now empty bowl and he quickly hopped off his stool and grabbed his backpack off the back of the door.

"I won't be long, grandmi," he smiled as he skipped into the lounge.

"Good boy," Hanah called after him, quickly finished her breakfast and then started to clear the table.

She was just pouring some hot water into the sink when she heard Lilly slowly coming down the stairs. "Oh, for goodness sake," she grouched to herself, wiping her hands and going to see if her daughter was all right. The sight of Lilly hanging on to the banister for dear life as she took the stairs one by one, told her that her daughter was far from recovered and shouldn't be up.

"What are you doing out of bed, young lady," she scolded and held out her hand to steady Lilly as she wobbled on the last step.

"I have come to see to my boy," Lilly sighed and allowed her mother's help.

"He is in hand." Hanah shook her head and tutted as she walked Lilly into the kitchen. "You should have stayed in bed."

Lilly gingerly lowered herself into a chair and rubbed her temples. "I wanted to say goodbye," she shrugged and then picked up the glass of water her mother quickly placed in front of her.

"Well," Hanah tutted again, her voice rising in annoyance at her stubborn daughter. "You look awful and should have stayed in bed. Finn is just fine."

"Please, ma. Don't yell – I have a headache," Lilly groaned before taking a sip of water.

Hanah shook her head as she sat at her side. "I'm sorry, Lilly," she apologised "but we discussed this last night – your father and I will care for Finn until you are well enough and you are certainly not well enough this morning."

Lilly turned to face her with tears brimming in her eyes. "I just wanted to say goodbye to him," she sniffed.

Hanah hung her head, feeling sorry for shouting and then grabbed Lilly's hand. "I know you do, my love, don't upset yourself," she soothed.

When Finn then came skipping back into the kitchen with his coat on and back pack in place, both women looked up and smiled at him.

"Mami!" He grinned and ran to his mother and gave her a hug. "I'm glad you're better," he gushed.

"Me too," Lilly lied as she returned the hug, glaring at her mother when she rolled her eyes at her lie. "Have you got everything?" She then asked as she held her son at arm's length and inspected him from head to toe.

"Yes, mami," Finn nodded.

"Have you washed?"

"Yes, mami."

"Behind your ears?"

"Yes, mami."

"Cleaned your teeth?"

"Yes, mami," Finn sighed heavily, obviously becoming fed up of his mothers questioning.

"Lunch?" Lilly asked and then turned to her mother. "Does he have any lunch?" She repeated.

"Not today," Hanah grinned knowingly and winked at her grandson. "Today is egg day isn't it Finny."

"Yes, grandmi," Finns grin was as wide as his grandmothers. "It's egg day today!" He confirmed with a nod of his head.

"Oh, yes," Lilly sighed as she rubbed her temples again. "Silly mami, of course it is egg day," she smiled at her son who bowed cheekily.

Hanah chuckled at his antics as she cleared the rest of the table and then returned the wave that Sergi gave her when she glanced out of the window. "Come on Finny, grandpi is waiting," she turned and told her grandson who quickly hugged and kissed his mother before skipping to the door.

"Have a good day," Lilly called as he opened the door.

"I will," Finn turned and grinned before hurrying out to his waiting grandpi.

As the door closed behind him, Lilly rested her head on her folded hands on the table. "I feel dreadful," she admitted with a groan.

Hanah walked over and rubbed her back. "Then go back to bed my love."

"Sofa," Lilly mumbled into her arms. "Fed up of bed."

"I don't care where you go just as long as you sleep." Hanah gently eased her to her feet and led her into the lounge where she helped her lie down.

Lilly turned and buried her head into the back of the sofa and Hanah grabbed the throw off the back and gently tucked her in. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," she whispered and planted a kiss on her daughters head.

"'kay," Lilly mumbled, shifted slightly to get more comfortable and then willingly gave into her exhaustion.

Hanah crossed and drew the drapes, shutting out the dark miserable day and then tip toed out, leaving Lilly to rest.

Soon the sound of soft snoring drifted into the kitchen and Hanah continued with her morning chores, happy that her daughter had found some peace and quiet at last.

Xxxx

"Han?" Sergi called when he returned for lunch. He'd dropped Finn at school then travelled on to Cara's to check the Wenton family were alright before going to his office to organise his workers.

"Hanah?" He called again and when his wife didn't reply he strolled into the lounge where he found both his daughter and wife.

"Shh," Hanah looked up from her sewing and placed her finger on her lips. "Don't wake her," she whispered as Lilly groaned and turned onto her side.

Sergi knelt in front of his daughter, tenderly brushed her hair out of her eyes and straightened her covers before turning to Hanah. "How's she been?" He asked, rocking back on his heels.

"Groggy but sleeping most of the morning," Hanah nodded and picked her sewing up again.

"Good," Sergi smiled.

"Did Finn get off alright?" Hanah asked as she re threaded her needle.

"Yes, no problems."

"Everything alright at Cara's?"

"I think the girls kept them up most of the night so they're having a quiet day, but, apart from that they're doing fine."

"Good." Hanah continued her embroidery, inching closer to the lamp she had to light as the drapes blocked out most of the natural light.

Sergi cleared his throat. "I don't suppose there is any lunch?" He asked.

"In the pantry. It is just cold cuts today. I'll cook later," Hanah smiled as she sewed.

Sergi stood, grimacing at his creaking knees. "Do you want anything?" He offered.

"Not at the moment – I'll eat with Lilly when she wakes."

"Okay," Sergi nodded and stretched. "I'll just eat and get back to work – it's a busy day today."

"Don't forget to pick Finn up."

"I won't."

As Sergi went in search of his lunch, he was struck by the familiarity of what had been normal family life before the girls left home and realised how much he missed those days.

He was really going to enjoy having Lilly and Finn staying.

xxx

Normality reigned at the Tanger house for the rest of the week. Once Lilly started eating and drinking her migraine finally disappeared leaving her feeling as though she could cope with things better.

After a few days of resting, she had to return to work as Conrad had fallen sick himself and she found herself covering his shift as well as her own. Her parents had been wonderful, as had Finn. They had made sure she rested when she could and supplied her with good healthy food to help her through her long days at the hospital.

Niall had stepped in and taken over the farm duties from Sergi, allowing him to give his grandson all his attention and the young boy had really enjoyed his time with his grandfather. Fishing trips were arranged for after school and at the weekend Sergi had taken him to Wenton farm where he'd helped Niall with the ploughing.

Although Lilly saw little of him, she knew that he was in good hands and any time they had together was quality time, normally spent reading. She had dispatched her father to collect a long list of books from her library and she and Finn soon found an adventure story they both liked and had lost themselves in it as much as time allowed.

For a while, she almost forgot about her missing husband as work and family kept her occupied but, in the middle of the night, like now, she longed for him so much that it almost hurt.

Giving up on sleep that she knew wouldn't come; she threw her covers back and grabbed her robe. A vivid dream had reminded her off better days, of days spent in the orchard – of a father racing his son and she physically ached for that time.

She knelt at the side of the bed and retched for her memory box she kept under it. The trinkets and photographs she kept inside were the most precious things in her life, a part from her family. As she opened the box, she felt so dreadful that she hadn't thought about Ben all day.

Reaching in she removed a locket that contained a lock of Finn's hair, the bracelet that Mari Quinn gave her after his birth, a farewell card given to her by her Earth friends when she left SGC to return to Mandana and the dried roses from her wedding bouquet. All wonderful memories but she needed to 'see' her husband, to feel closer to him and she plucked the pile of photographs she kept in there and slowly untied the ribbon she had worn in her hair on her wedding day she had use to bundle them together, and carefully examined each one.

She smiled softly at images of her husband. How he grinned as he watched her down the aisle towards him on their wedding day. How he beamed as he pointed towards their new cottage after he'd renovated it and how proud, but tired he looked as he cradled Finn moments after he was born.

These were snippets of time that would never be reproduced and Lilly found tears filing her eyes as she flicked through them. She missed him so much and wished she could tell him how much she loved him right now.

As the cockerel crowed the arrival of morning though, she quickly wiped her eyes and tucked her memories away again until next time.

One more week. She had to get through one more week before he contacted home again. She could do this – she had to.

Xxx

EARTH

"Tell me about London."

Ben and Conner were sat enjoying the spring sunshine in Cheyenne Canon Park. The kitchen staff at the Mountain had rustled them up a picnic and they'd spent the morning leisurely walking through the woods before settling down to enjoy the meal.

The past week had been difficult as Conner had been exhausted but today was a good day, he felt stronger and in a much better place mentally. The brothers were determined to make the most of today.

"London was the best decision I made," he rested his head back against a tree, feeling fit to burst. "I found myself in London."

"Oh?" Ben was kneeling, clearing away the plates and containers after thoroughly enjoying the feast that had been provided.

"It's so laid back over there, so small in comparison. Nothing was done in a hurry, life was sedate and I found time to discover myself and, I suppose – grow up."

"I thought that London was all hustle and bustle," Ben shrugged as he buckled up the picnic hamper. "It's such a huge city."

"Ah, well. The base was out of London, more in the countryside. Lakenheath was in a village – well, it was a village inside of a village, so to speak. It was a small community and that was something I loved. I felt comfortable there, people looked out for me and I quickly became part of a team, an equal part."

"I can understand that," Ben sighed as he joined his brother. "The Air Force was my family for a long time too."

"Yeah," Conner agreed with a sigh. "I owe them so much," he continued softly. "I learnt a trade, made new friends, discovered a new country and felt that I belonged. My life was mapped out in front of me; I had direction and thought I knew where I was going. That was until I found I couldn't keep up with physical side of the requirements. I would be exhausted after just a 3k run and I started failing that side of the programme. It was so frustrating – I had always been so fit. In the end my C/O insisted I got a full medical, my weight had started plummeting, even though I ate like a horse and I struggled to stay awake during lectures. Within a week of the medical, I was diagnosed and it was as if my whole world had imploded."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"What could you have done?" Conner shrugged. "At the time the prognosis was hopeful. I just needed a couple of rounds of chemo and a course of radio, which I got. The treatment wasn't too bad; I didn't even lose my hair and was back at work within three months, believing that I'd kicked the cancer. Life went back to normal for over a year, my career was back on track and I even had a steady girlfriend but, one day I woke up feeling dreadful, my whole body ached awfully. I put it down to too much beer the night before and tried to ignore it but the pain didn't go away. In the end I went back to the Doc, thinking he'd give me an antibiotic or some pain pills but he ordered a blood test straight away and they confirmed the worse."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah – so was I. This time I was hospitalised for more treatment. Cycle after cycle of chemo and radio. I lost my hair and most of my dignity but fought it so damn hard. Again, I was told I was in remission but even then, deep down I knew the bugger would come back someday and, three years later, I was proved right. This time I refused treatment, there was no way I could go through that shit again. This time I ran from it, well ran straight for the booze to lose myself. God I was a mess. I slept with as many women as I could, figuring – what the hell, I was gonna die soon anyway. I was on a downhill slippery slope for many months – as sick as a dog and not caring what happened but Alison changed all that."

"Alison?"

"Alison Hardy," Conner turned his head and smiled softly. "God she was beautiful, Ben," he sighed. "She was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. She was also the bravest person I'd ever had the privilege to meet. Alison was my treatment buddy. She had been diagnosed with leukaemia around the same time. We met in the hospital while we sat in the chemo chairs and hit it off straight away. We were then each other's rocks but she left me. She l-left m-me when I n-needed her the m-most."

"Oh, Con," Ben reached out to his brother but Conner shrugged away his touch.

"When she died," he continued after clearing his throat and wiping his eye. "I was in lay in bed with a stranger – someone I picked up in a pub. I didn't even know her name, she didn't know mine. When the hospital called to tell me that Alison had passed away in her sleep, it was like a kick in the stomach. I just couldn't get my head round the fact that she'd gone. Her death was actually the wakeup call I needed. She had fought so long and hard, for years and years. Nothing stopped her – her will to live was incredible and I knew that if I didn't sort myself out she'd be so pissed with me so I checked myself back into the clinic and started treatment again. This time I was lucky enough to find a perfect bone marrow match and that actually gave me another five years. I thank Alison every day for those extra five years. I went back to the unit and started my life again. I took the electrician qualifications and was found a job round the base. I had a purpose again, something to aim for and started to enjoy living again."

"I'm glad."

"Yeah, me too," Conner nodded. "These past five years have been wonderful but I've always known that I was living on borrowed time and when my symptoms started again I knew that this time there would be no fighting back."

"I-I don't know w-what to say o-other than that I'm sorry that I didn't know or helped."

"It was my choice Benny. I didn't tell you," Conner shrugged.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I thought I could cope on my own."

"No one should be on their own, coping with all that."

"I know that now – that's why I'm here now. I don't want to die on my own, Benny," Conner grabbed Ben's hand and Ben immediately pulled him into his arms.

"You won't, I promise. I will be with you; you won't die on your own."

"T-thank you," Conner sobbed as he melted into his brother's embrace, feeling as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders.

His big brother was here, he had him. There was nothing to fear.

MANDANA

"Morning," Hanah greeted softly as she walked into the kitchen. "Couldn't you sleep?" She rubbed Lilly's back on route to the stove.

Lilly yawned and stretched. "No," she sighed. "Things were just going round and round in my head and I gave up," she admitted with a shrug.

"What sort of things?" Hanah asked as she pumped some water into a pot.

Lilly ran her fingers through her hair and picked up the piece of paper she'd been jotting her thoughts down on. "Things like," she held the paper up for her mother to see, "knowing what to say when I talk to my husband tomorrow." She smiled sadly as she waved her notes in the air. Another week had gone past so quickly but, although Lilly had submerged herself in work and family life, her thoughts were never far from her husband.

"Ah," Hanah tied her robe tighter around her and took a seat opposite her daughter. "A difficult thing to do," she nodded in agreement.

"I just don't know what I'm going to say, ma," Lilly sighed as she placed the piece of paper in front of her again and smoothed out the creases. "I have no idea what is going to happen. My heart is longing for him to come home but my head is telling me that that will not be likely."

"Why not?"

"I don't know but I just have this feeling." Lilly rested her head in the hand she then propped up on the table. "If his brother has passed on, he will need to make arrangements for the funeral and sort out his estate. All this takes time. If his brother is still alive then goodness knows when he is going to return, it could be months. I don't want to add to all his worries by crying about how much I miss him and how much Finn misses him too. I need to be calm and collected but let him know how much we love him and are thinking about him."

"Okay," Hanah walked toward her stove. "You sound like you know what you are doing," she smiled as she poured the now boiling water into the teapot.

"Not really," Lilly shrugged, massaging her temples. "I've gone over and over it and I just don't know how to say what I want to say."

"Well. Let him lead you. Be guided by what he says. I am sure he misses you just as much as you miss him, my love."

Lilly thought for a while as Hanah grabbed some cups and milk. "You're right," she agreed. "I will just go there with nothing prepared and just speak from my heart." She picked up the piece of paper, screwed it up and tossed it on the fire. "Now I only have to worry about my boy," she sighed as she lowered her head in her hand again.

"Oh?" Hanah placed a cup of tea in front of her and sat down again.

"What do I tell him ma?" Lilly asked as she ran a finger round the rim of her cup. "Do I tell him I am going to have contact with his papi because if I do he will get his hopes up that he is returning and if Ben doesn't come home, he will be totally crushed."

"Ah, I see," Hanah sighed as she sipped her tea. "But, if he finds out that you've spoken to him without him then he will be angry."

"Exactly," Lilly glanced up and echoed Hanah's sigh.

"What a mess," Hanah agreed. "No wonder you couldn't sleep, my love."

"Well, I will have to work this all out before tomorrow," Lilly shook her head, grimacing at the tug of a headache. "I have looked forward this day for what seems like forever and now it is just round the corner, I dread it as much as I looked forward to it," she admitted sadly.

Hanah drained her cup and stood. "Why don't you go back to bed and sleep on it? You have no work today and Cara is not bringing Finn back until lunch time."

"I think I might just do that," Lilly agreed as her headache began to worsen. "Thanks for listening ma," she stood and stretched again.

"Anytime, you know that Lilly," Hanah smiled. "Now – off to bed you go, you look really tired my love. I will call you when Finn arrives."

Lilly crossed and kissed the top of her mother's head. "I love you," she told her before she stumbled in search of her bed once more.