Thanks for the great response on the last chapter :)
Thank you to seventyfourmuffins, fancykid, kk, Katerina The Von, JPenn, TaylorUndead, child who is cool, squoctobird, Bananjo, jo, Boysboysboys love em, ANNbeau, Dymond, 0music0lvr0, Vampire-Goth-Girl, Lil Badass Kaulitz, MyWonderLand209, Caibriam, Avii Flynn-Fletcher, ammg, kendallsgirl12, Avenue-Dreams, roxxiepoxxie, kima, japanesecherryboy, 1Avid-reader, MiaCnnr, Carla, Chris Nooley, rainy dayz and silver dreams, LogansWifeyy, CoresomeeCorey, anonymous and HandsomeLoganTV for all the lovely reviews!
This story, along with my other Cargan, Maybe It's Just Me, But You Seem Finally Happy, have actually been nominated for Best Cargan Slash at the BTRSlash awards! I can't believe it! If you wish to vote, you can go here; .net/forum/Big_Time_Slash_Awards_2011/104588/ My Kogan fic, Open Road, has also been nominated!
But yes, on with the story! I hope you enjoy it and please review!
Carlos slammed the apartment door behind him as he barged in. James came rushing out of his bedroom, wanting to know what all the noise was about.
"Carlos? What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing," Carlos spat, pushing past James and trying to get to his room. "Just leave me alone."
James quickly grabbed onto Carlos' arm to stop him, "Oh no, you don't. You're upset. Tell me what's wrong."
"She's such a fucking liar!" Carlos shouted. "I—I mean, he. Shit."
Carlos groaned and tried to pull his hand away from James, but the taller man just held onto him.
"Carlos, what happened?" James asked, softer this time and he had a feeling that he knew what this might be about.
Carlos stopped fighting against James' grip and he let out a heavy sigh. His cheeks were bright red and he purposely avoided eye contact due to embarrassment.
"L-Lola's a man. She's Logan."
"Wow," James' eyebrows rose in surprise. "He actually told you."
Carlos' eyes shot up to stare at James, a frown on his face, "What? Did you…Did you know?"
James' eyes widened, "Shit. Carlos, man, I-"
Carlos yanked his wrist from James' grip, "How long have you known? Have you all been laughing at me this whole time? 'Oh, Carlos is so stupid; he can't tell that the person he loves is a man in a dress.' Have you?"
James quickly shook his head, "No! No, of course not! W-Wait…You love her, uh, him?"
"No," Carlos pouted, defensively crossing his arms over his chest. "I-I maybe thought I did. But I don't. It's Logan. I can't love him."
James sighed and wrapped his arms around Carlos, pulling him in for a hug. Carlos let out a shaky breath and his arms tightened around James' waist.
"I'm so sorry, Carlos. I didn't want you to get hurt like this…that's why I told h-him to stay away from you. I thought it worked, I really did. But then I saw you hanging out with them…"
Carlos looked up at James in confusion, "You told him to stay away? What? When?"
James dropped his arms from around Carlos and he raised one of them to awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck.
"Uh, a couple of weeks back, when you thought she was ignoring you."
Carlos' face fell slightly, "I really thought that she didn't want to see me again. You should have just told me. I feel so stupid. How could I not know?"
"Carlos, don't beat yourself up over it, okay? It's not your fault. He was really good at disguising himself."
"But you knew!"
"Look, it's in the past now, okay? Just try and forget about her. How about we go out tonight and we'll find you a new girl?"
Carlos frowned and shook his head, "No. I don't want a new girl. I want Lola. She was perfect."
Tears were forming in Carlos' eyes and his cheeks were red out of embarrassment and anger. James sighed as he watched him turn and hurry into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Carlos didn't want James to see him cry; he felt humiliated.
Kendall sighed as he walked into the apartment and saw that Logan was still lying on the couch, the same place that he had left him and still in the shorts and t-shirt that he'd slept in.
"Logie," he sighed again, putting the grocery bags on the table and walking over. "I thought I told you to go and get dressed. You've been lying here all weekend."
Logan just shrugged and continued to stare at the TV, "Don't feel like moving."
Kendall rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch, lifting Logan's legs and resting them in his lap. He ran his thumb across the boy's bare ankle and watched his face as Logan looked at the TV in disinterest.
"You can't stay on the couch forever. You have work tomorrow, remember?"
"I'm not going," Logan mumbled.
"Yes, you are. You are not going to lose your job over this. What happened sucks, yes. But you have to move on, Logan."
"I don't know if I can," Logan admitted, his voice shaking. "H-He made me feel beautiful, Kendall. I actually felt wanted."
"I've told you how beautiful you are…"
"I know," Logan sighed. "But you're my best friend. It's different when…You don't think of me the same way that Carlos did."
"You'll find someone, Logie. Someone who loves you for who you are and who thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world. I know you will."
Logan ran his hand over his face, sighing yet again, "Yeah…Sure."
Logan turned his attention back to the television and Kendall watched his best friend. He was worried about him, he'd never seen Logan so down. He just wished that he knew a way to cheer him up.
It was a bit of a struggle, but Kendall was able to get Logan up the next day for work. Once he'd pushed Logan into the shower, he got to work on making them some breakfast, hoping that Logan would feel slightly better after he'd eaten properly.
Logan picked at his waffles, his stomach feeling like he couldn't handle them, but he still cleared his plate to be polite to Kendall. He really did appreciate what Kendall was doing for him; he didn't know what he'd do without him.
"Now, are you going to be alright getting to work?" Kendall asked as he knotted Logan's tie for him. "If I go, you are actually going to go to work, right? Or do I need to drive you?"
Logan sighed and straightened his tie once Kendall had finished, "I'll go. Don't worry."
Kendall smiled and softly kissed his forehead, "Good. I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay."
Kendall grabbed his bag off the table and headed for the door. He turned back to give Logan a comforting smile, "You'll be okay. If you need me, just call."
Logan nodded, "Yeah, okay. See you later."
"Bye, Logie."
Logan sighed when the front door shut behind Kendall and he was alone. He finished gathering his things together and then headed to work. He knew that it would have been stupid to stay at home and risk his job over what happened. Logan also knew that he just had to get over it because Carlos didn't want him. There was no point dwelling on it, he needed to move on.
As the day went on, Logan was thankful that he came to work. The kids in his class were always so energetic and there was always someone to help and it helped him to take his mind of Carlos. He hadn't even thought about the Latino since he'd got to school.
But then lunchtime came around and all the children were out on the playground. Logan was one of the assistants on duty and he lazily walked around, making sure they were all behaving. He stopped when he reached the equipment shed and leant back against it, burying his hands in his pockets as he looked out across the playground.
Logan then felt a small tug on his trouser leg and glanced down curiously. A small blonde girl was trying to get his attention, tears running down her cheeks. Logan quickly crouched down to her level and held onto her hand.
"Tabatha, what's wrong, sweetie?"
"D-Darren called me ugly," the six year old sniffed, trying to wipe her tears away with her hand.
Logan sighed and gave her hand a squeeze, "You are not ugly. You're beautiful. Just forget about Darren, okay?"
"But I-I love him, Mr Mitchell."
Logan gave her a small smile and looked up when another little girl came running over.
"Tabby! Why are you crying?" she asked her friend in worry.
"Darren doesn't want to be my boyfriend. He called me ugly."
"Ergh," her friend replied in disgust. "He's so stupid. Boys are stupid. Oh…sorry, Mr Mitchell. I don't think you're stupid."
Logan laughed softly, "That's okay, Molly. Boys are stupid. You shouldn't be having to worry about them just yet. Tabatha, just ignore Darren. He thinks worms are cool, so he obviously doesn't know anything about pretty girls."
Molly and Tabatha both pulled a face.
"Ew. Worms are gross."
Logan nodded with a smile, "They are. Why don't you lovely girls go and play jump rope or something? Stay away from those silly boys."
They both nodded and Tabatha finally gave Logan a genuine smile.
"Okay. Thank you, Mr Mitchell," she said, surprising Logan by giving him a hug.
Molly then grabbed her friend's hand and they both ran over to the box that the jump ropes were kept in. Logan was smiling as he stood back up, watching the two girls playing happily. He wished that it was that easy for him to forget about someone.
But slowly the pain did start to subside and Logan found himself thinking less and less about Carlos. He never forgot about him though, there was always something that would remind Logan of him; someone with the same smile, someone with a similar laugh, even someone with a mole that would remind Logan of the cute little one Carlos had on his jaw.
Kendall was always there to comfort Logan every time he felt down and Logan was so thankful that he has such a loving best friend. He did feel terribly guilty though whenever Kendall would drop any plans he had just to sit at home and watch a movie and eat ice cream with Logan. Logan didn't want to ruin Kendall's social life and he knew that it couldn't be much fun for him to sit with Logan while he was feeling down. So Logan tried his hardest to stop thinking of Carlos, or to at least hide his feelings better, so that Kendall wasn't brought down with him.
"Hey, Logie. I'm going out for a drink with the team tonight. Wanna come?" Kendall asked, leaning against the table while Logan sorted through a pile of laundry.
Logan glanced up at him with a grateful smile but shook his head, "No thanks. I've gotta do this laundry. You have fun though."
"You sure? The laundry can wait. I can help you tomorrow."
"Really, Kendall. I'll be okay. Go and have a good time."
Kendall hesitated for a moment but then nodded his head, "Okay, well the cab's gonna be here in about twenty minutes, so I'm gonna go and get ready."
"Sure, okay."
Kendall kissed Logan goodbye before he hurried out of the apartment to get in the cab. Logan returned to sorting out the laundry, enjoying the peace and quiet. He hummed lightly to himself as he walked down to the laundry room in their building and loaded up the machine. Then he returned to the apartment to relax until it was done.
Logan was folding up the clean clothes that night, still warm from the dryer, when he came across his favourite purple, A-line dress. He sighed and rubbed the soft material with his thumbs; it had been too long since he'd worn any of Lola's clothes and he really missed it.
Logan continued to stare at the garment in his hand and contemplated putting it on. He glanced around the apartment, knowing that he was alone and so there was no one around to see, then he rushed into his bedroom and threw the dress down onto the bed.
Logan quickly stripped himself of his clothes and rummaged around in his drawers and closet to find everything that he needed. He grabbed a set of black, lacy underwear and pulled them on, inserting the breast forms into the bra cups with a small smile. Then he worked on pulling a pair of dark tights up his legs, his smile growing as he felt the familiar, silky material glide up his legs.
Logan grabbed the dress off the bed and carefully pulled it over his head, tugging it down so that it sat perfectly. He then he fastened the small zip at the side before tying the black ribbon around his middle. He sighed happily as he caught sight of himself in the mirror and then turned to his dressing table to grab his make-up.
At first, he had only planned on putting on the dress but, once it was on, he couldn't just stop at that; He needed to be Lola again. So he started the long process of applying the make-up that helped to transformed him into Lola and when that was finally done, he hurried back into his closet to find his wig.
Kendall wasn't planning on having a particularly late night; it had been a long and tiring week as they were preparing for the game that was coming up fast. But Kendall enjoyed spending time with his teammates and it was nice to relax with them for a bit.
Kendall was having a great time, laughing and joking with the guys. But his mood changed suddenly when he spotted a familiar face having a conversation with one of his teammates.
"James," he growled, stepping over to the tall brunette. "What are you doing here?"
James turned to him in surprise, "Oh, Kendall…Hi."
Kendall grabbed James' arm and pulled him to the side, away from the rest of his team, and backing him up against the wall. James grumbled and pulled his arm from Kendall's grip, not happy with being manhandled.
"What are you doing here?" Kendall repeated.
"It's a bar…am I not allowed to go to bars?" James frowned.
"Well why were you talking to the guys?"
"They started talking to me. They recognised me from the other week."
Kendall crossed his arms over his chest, "I think you should stay away from me."
"What?" James scoffed. "You're mad at me?"
"You and your little friend crushed Logan! Of course I'm mad at you! He's miserable."
"Well Carlos isn't exactly happy either! He really liked her. And you can't blame him for what happened; he's the only one who didn't know."
"Well, he could have tried to handle it a bit better, instead of insulting Logan like that. Logan is not sick."
James raised an eyebrow, "He's not exactly normal."
Kendall stepped closer to James, getting up in his face and glaring, "There is nothing wrong with him. You don't know anything about Logan, okay? So just back off."
James sighed, "Okay…I-I'm sorry. It's just hard, y'know, seeing Carlos so upset."
Kendall nodded, his expression softening, "Yeah, I know. It sucks. But Logan never wanted to hurt him. He was scared and he made a mistake…and it was partly my fault."
"It was?"
Kendall sighed and leant next to James on the wall, staring ahead, "It was my idea for him to hang out with me and Logan. I thought that it if he started to like Logan, then it would make it easier to tell him the truth."
James scoffed, "Yeah, that really worked, didn't it? Now Carlos has lost two people that he cares about."
"What? He-"
"He still really liked Logan…just not in the way that you guys hoped. That's why it hurt so much that he lied to him."
"How do you know Carlos doesn't like Logan in that way? It's still possible…"
James quickly shook his head, "Carlos isn't gay."
"How can you be sure? You didn't see them together…"
"No!" James snapped. "He isn't gay. He can't be."
"Why not? Would you hate him if he was?"
"Well, I…uh. N-No, I guess not…but, come on, weren't you a bit uncomfortable when you found out Logan's gay?"
Kendall raised an eyebrow, "Why would I be? I'm gay too."
"What?" James exclaimed, his eyes going wide.
Kendall rolled his eyes, "Really? You didn't know?"
James shrugged his shoulders, "Carlos never told me. Wow…You don't, uh, you don't seem the type."
"The type?" Kendall asked, his eyebrow rising even higher.
"Yeah, well, you know what I mean."
"Frankly, no. I don't know what you mean. Gay people are just normal people, James, just like you. I wish you'd understand that. Maybe then you wouldn't be such an asshole."
"Hey! I'm sorry, okay? It's just how I was brought up. But, um, how about you let me buy you a drink to apologise?"
"Seriously?" Kendall asked, looking sceptical.
James nodded, "Yeah...I had fun the other week, hanging out with you and the other guys. It'll take me some time to get completely comfortable with you being gay, b-but I still want to try and be friends."
"You want to be friends with me? After everything that's happened?"
James shrugged, "You're a pretty cool guy, Kendall. Just let me buy you a drink, okay?"
Kendall nodded slowly, "Um, okay then."
James gave a small smile and led the way over to the bar to place their order.
When Kendall stumbled into his apartment in the early hours of the morning, he was surprised to see his best friend asleep on the couch. He smiled widely when he noticed the dress and make-up and quietly made his way over.
"Lola," he whispered, sitting down beside her and lightly nudging her shoulder. "Lola, wake up."
Lola's eyes slowly started to open and she smiled sleepily when she saw Kendall's grinning face.
"Hey you," Kendall smirked.
Lola sat up and rubbed at her eyes. They shot open when she saw the make-up on them and then looked down at her dress.
"Oh shit. I—I…"
"Hey, no, stop freaking out. You look beautiful."
Lola hung her head in embarrassment, "But I said that I wasn't going to do this anymore."
"Well that was a stupid idea. And I've missed you, Lola."
The brunette smiled and leant up against Kendall's side, resting her head on his shoulder, "Love you."
Kendall wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head, "Love you too."
"Did you have fun tonight?"
Kendall thought about the night that he'd had and how much he had enjoyed hanging out with James and he nodded with a faint smile, "Yeah, it was good."
"Yeah?" Lola smirked at Kendall's smile. "Something happen?"
"Huh?" Kendall quickly wiped the smile off his face and shook his head. "Nope. Nothing special. Just hung with the guys."
Lola looked at him sceptically for a moment but then relaxed back against his side with a yawn.
"Aww, someone's tired. You should go to bed, sleeping on the couch isn't good for you."
Lola sighed, "Yeah, I guess."
Kendall watched as Lola looked down at her dress and fiddled with the skirt. He ran a comforting hand down her arm and kissed the side of her head, his lips lingering by her ear while he spoke.
"You don't want to take it off, do you?"
Lola sighed again and dropped the fabric from her fingers, "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have put it back on."
"Don't be silly. It makes you happy and I like seeing you smile. Friday night, we're going out."
"Not like this…"
"Yes. You are going to get all dolled up and we're going dancing. No excuses. It's not fair to keep you hidden away."
"Kendall…"
"What did I say? No excuses. You're coming out."
"Fine," Lola grumbled, making Kendall grin.
"Good! We're gonna have a great time!"
"Uh-huh. Sure…"
Kendall was surprised that Logan didn't protest much on Friday night about going out; it probably helped that Kendall had bought Lola a new green dress that Logan was excited to try on.
Lola was looking forward to going out again, but her hands still shook with nerves as she curled her hair. Kendall had reassured her that everything would be fine and that they were going to have a great night. Lola wanted to believe him; she'd always had so much fun going out with Kendall before she met Carlos. She loved to dance and flirt with the guys in the club, some of them knowing who she really was and others having no idea, but it was fine because it never went any further than dancing. Lola missed it and so she happily linked arms with Kendall as they walked down to grab their cab.
"Are you having a good time?" Kendall asked with a smile after he'd just twirled Lola again on the dance floor.
Lola nodded with a grin, "Yes. Thank you for making me come out."
"No problem. So, seen any cute guys?"
Lola blushed and shook her head, "I'm not here for that."
Kendall raised an eyebrow with a smirk, "Well that guy over there has been checking you out since we got here."
Lola looked around in surprise and saw the tall brunette eyeing her up. She gasped and turned back to Kendall.
"B-But I can't…after what happened with C—"
"Forget about him, okay?" Kendall interrupted. "Don't let him ruin everything for you. You're allowed to have fun…and you're about to. Look, he's coming over."
Lola looked panicked and Kendall chuckled lightly, winking at her and then he disappeared into the crowd of dancing people.
"Kendall!" Lola exclaimed. "Don't leave me!"
She frantically looked around, trying to spot Kendall in the crowd, but he was gone. She sighed in defeat but jumped when she felt a soft touch on her arm.
"Hey," a smooth voice spoke in her ear.
Lola nervously turned to face the other man and she immediately blushed over how good-looking he was, "Hello."
"That wasn't your boyfriend, was it?" the man asked, referring to Kendall.
"What? Um, no. No, we're just friends."
"Good," he smiled. "So he won't try and beat me up if I ask you for a dance?"
Lola smiled shyly and bit on her bottom lip, "N-No, he won't."
The brunette man smiled and stepped slightly closer, staring into Lola's eyes, "So, will you dance with me?"
Lola slowly nodded her head, "Y-Yeah, sure."
Lola's breathing hitched as she felt his hands on her hips and she was pulled closer to him.
"Name's Alex."
Lola smiled up at him as she moved along with him, "Lola."
"Pretty name. Suits you."
Alex chuckled as Lola blushed deeper and bit back a smile. They kept dancing and Lola eventually found the courage to put her hands on Alex's shoulders. He smirked at her and pulled her even closer, so that she was pressed up against his front. Lola gasped and her grip on his shoulders tightened. She was even more surprised when Alex dipped his head and pressed a kiss to her neck.
"Whoa," she inhaled sharply. "W-What are you doing?"
Alex backed up slightly, "What's wrong?"
"Y-You, uh, you know I'm not really a-a—"
"A girl?" Alex finished. "I know."
"Oh. Then why…?"
"You're cute."
Lola's eyes widened slightly and she smiled. Alex smiled back and leant his forehead up against hers.
"Can I kiss you now?"
Lola seemed to have lost the ability to speak, so she just nodded slowly, gasping as Alex's lips came into contact with hers. She sighed; it felt nice, but she couldn't help thinking that she shouldn't be doing this. But Lola still kissed back, trying to push that thought out of her head.
They pulled apart to catch their breath and Alex didn't miss the look on Lola's face.
"What's wrong now?"
Lola sighed and stepped back, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear, "I'm sorry. I—I can't do this."
"Why not? Do you think I'm not good enough for you, or something?"
"No!" Lola quickly replied, shaking her head. "You're lovely. I just…I can't. I just had a-a bad break-up."
"Oh."
Lola smiled apologetically, "I really am sorry. This is…it's just a bit fast for me."
"I understand," Alex said, looking disappointed. "But hey, why don't I give you my number. If you ever want to get together, just call me."
Lola was slightly taken back but shakily took her phone out of her bag, handing it to Alex for him to put his number in. She accepted it back with a smile and sighed when he kissed her softly on the cheek.
"I'll see you around."
"Bye."
Lola was mentally hitting herself as she watched him walk away; this was her chance to move on, but she'd blown it. With a sigh, she straightened up her dress and then set about trying to find Kendall, needing to tell him what happened and hoping that he wouldn't be too annoyed over her not taking the chance.
I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, even though there wasn't much Cargan in it.
This story may be coming to an end soon, I can only see a couple more chapters - unless I have a sudden burst of inspiration!
But please, review and let me know what you think :)
Thank you for reading!
