CHAPTER 8:

PRIESTS AND PAIN

During the trip back, Loki learned quite a bit about Kirei Kotomine. Loki knew a little about the Executors from the book Zelretch had given him, but Kirei helped clarify a few points. Effectively, Kirei was, like Kiritsugu, an assassin trained and retained by the Church as an assassin, mostly of vampires and rogue Magi, as well as heretics. Kirei was extremely skilled for a human being, and Loki had the feeling that Kirei had the edge, physically speaking. Loki may be stronger, but Kirei seemed to be more agile, and one had to be the best of the best to go up against Dead Apostles.

"Why do you desire the Holy Grail, Loki?" Kirei asked.

"Who said I desire the Grail?" Loki said.

"Master or Servant, nobody enters into the Grail War without a desire. I am guessing that you are a Master, despite the apparent lack of Command Seal on your hand. You also implied knowing Zelretch, and it's more likely he knows Masters than Servants. And the Grail cannot summon deities as Servants. Demigods and gods who fall from grace like Medusa are exceptions to the rule(1)."

"Well, to rebut your point, when I came here, Caster was about to be summoned by a man by the name of Ryuunosuke Uryu. He was a vile serial killer who seemed to think he was summoning a demon, not a Heroic Spirit. He didn't know a thing about the Grail. There is no desire on the Grail I want that I cannot fulfil myself, and even then, I have to be somewhat sceptical of the wish-granting ability of it. You have heard of the term 'monkey's paw', haven't you?"

"Of course. So you participate in the Grail War because…"

"Zelretch suggested it. He said I could take some upstart mages down a peg or two. And given what happened to me recently, well…I need a holiday, of sorts."

"And do you consider me a potential victim?"

"I don't know. I'm curious about you. What's your desire for the Grail?"

"I don't have one. And yet, the Command Seals appeared on me three years ago."

"Which means the Grail chose you because of a desire," Loki mused.

"I believe that one of those who has the answers I seek is Kiritsugu Emiya. He's an assassin, driven and lethal. Sometimes, it's like looking into a mirror. And yet, he confuses me."

"He's not confusing at all. I overheard his wife and Servant discussing him. He's an assassin who's torn up by his own guilty conscience. Maybe he's looking for absolution in the Grail."

Kirei scowled quite impressively. "He believes only the Grail can grant his absolution?"

"I'm only speculating here. He has a conscience, and seems to be devoted to his wife. She said something about how he can never allow himself to be happy, because it causes him pain."

They continued walking in silence up the path they were taking to the church where the Kotomines resided. After a time, Loki asked, "What do you actually desire, Kirei?" Kirei remained silent. "Not from the Grail. Do you have any actual desires in life to fulfil?"

"Why would I want to indulge in anything so sinful?" Kirei snapped, irritably.

"I never said anything of the sort. I know priests take vows of celibacy and temperance, even if they don't always keep them." Loki realised that he had hit a sore spot for Kirei. His question was intentional, true, but he hadn't been expecting this kind of effect. "There are material desires I'm sure that the Catholic Church does not object to, and spiritual desires that they would endorse." He blinked when he realised what he had asked…and how Kirei had answered. Do you have any actual desires in life? Why would I want to indulge in anything so sinful?

His desires are of a sinful kind, an abhorrent kind, Loki realised. He hates himself.

After a moment, Loki said, "I had many desires myself, once. I was son to Odin, and brother to Thor. Adopted, as I later found out. I wished to have them acknowledge me, but…Asgard values brawn over brains. Magic is considered a thing for old scholars and women. I wanted to be king. But now…I know what a damned fool I was. They'd never let me be king, not with accursed blood running through my veins."

"That of a Jotun or Frost Giant," Kirei said. "I know something of Norse myth."

"I didn't learn until recently," Loki said. "Can you imagine what it's like, being told tales since your childhood of monsters like Laufey, only to find out you were one yourself?"

Kirei's expression was pensive, betraying his thoughts. He seemed to be thinking that he himself was a monster, if Loki was any judge.

"Having my desires shattered one by one…that is what I suffered. My so-called family and I had something of a disagreement. Even now, I'm not sure what is lies and what is truth. Ironic, is it not? I'm called Loki Liesmith, but I cannot tell how much the love I had been shown by my family was sincere. About the only one I believe did show me any true love was my mother, Frigga. And given how I treated Thor, I'm not sure she would welcome me back." Loki scoffed, and quoted, in Latin, "Pater peccavi." Father, I have sinned. The traditional opening of a Catholic confession.

"I don't do confessions. Not normally," Kirei said. "Giving or taking them."

"Well, do you believe in God, then?"

After a moment, Kirei admitted, "It's sometimes hard to believe when He creates someone like me."


Kirei wouldn't be drawn on that remark as they finally approached the church. The man that greeted them was old, albeit indeterminably so, but apparently very fit for their age. Loki could tell that beneath the priest's garb, the man was a physical powerhouse. This must be Kirei's father. Risei Kotomine seemed wary of Loki, until a look from his son had the man relaxing a little.

"You shouldn't venture far, son. You have claimed sanctuary in the church…" Risei said.

"Which is why I've brought your prodigal son back to you," Loki said with a smile. "I know Assassin is still alive. But to tell the truth, I don't really care. I am not here for the Grail. I am here to cause a little mischief, shaking up the Grail War, adding a certain spice, a piquancy, to the whole affair. You two seem to be doing just fine on your own."

Risei looked at Kirei, who said, "He seems to be an associate of Zelretch, father."

"Hmm. I wondered if that Dead Apostle would ever get involved, even if by proxy. Are you really Loki of Asgard?"

"That was my home for many centuries. That is why I introduced myself as Loki of Asgard last night."

Risei peered at him. "Are you from another universe? I know Zelretch has access to other universes."

"You are perceptive. Yes, I am."

"So you are not a Servant, but a Master. And not a god."

Loki held up a hand. "Asgardians were mistaken for gods back home. I am not of their number, but I am certainly not human."

"We could tell, given what Assassin saw of your fight against Lancer," Kirei said.

"So, why did you come here with my son? You are an enemy Master, of that I am almost certain, even if you have the wit to conceal your Command Seals. Attacking us here risks your censure, and even if you aren't human, the Church has people who deal with things like Dead Apostles," Risei asked.

"Curiosity. About your son more than anything else. I could care less about why you are colluding with Tokiomi Tohsaka, and I am not going to attack you. Not physically. I may taunt you, though. I haven't yet decided. Well, this has been an interesting little discourse. You are, indeed, a most interesting person, Kirei Kotomine. Should I find out exactly why Kiritsugu Emiya wants the Grail, I will relay it to you posthaste. I hope you find what you're looking for in life, with or without the Grail."

"May God be with you, Loki," Risei said. It seemed that the old priest was not without a sense of irony.


As he walked through the forest, he heard Medea speak through their mental link. "Loki, I believe I have found Berserker's Master. He is in the dock area, not far from where last night's battle was."

"Hmm. Anything of note?"

"He seems physically unwell, to say the least. A side effect of whatever magecraft he uses, perhaps."

"Hmm. I get the feeling there's more to this than meets the eye," Loki said. "Medea, before I come to Ryuudou Temple, I'll go and see Berserker's Master. At worst, I have found someone new to torment. At best…"

"Loki, I can teleport myself there, and disguise myself as you."

"Well, perhaps we should go together."


Once he was far enough away from the Church, Loki summoned up Medea, who appeared in a swirl of robes. They were in amongst some trees to conceal them. They soon used Medea's ability to head down to the warehouse where Medea spotted Berserker's Master.

As they approached, Medea having changed her apparel into modern clothing, she asked, "Loki, is this wise, bearding Berserker's Master in their den? Berserker has the most raw strength of any Servant, after all. The only reason I agreed to this was because keeping Berserker manifested is a drain on mana reserves, more than any other Servant."

"Which is my point. He can't risk having Berserker manifested unless he needs to. Keep in mind that Berserker attacked Archer first."

"You think that was deliberate. I noticed that as well. I see what you're getting at. You believe he may be open to an alliance?"

"Yes. Even if he isn't, I may have found an interesting victim to play around with," Loki said as they entered the derelict warehouse, the door creaking loudly as they entered.

In the dim light, they saw, in a corner, a shape stirring. A pained groan emanated from the shape. As Loki's eyes became accustomed to the gloom, he realised that he was seeing a man in a tracksuit, struggling to his feet. His hood was down, revealing a face riddled with vein-like markings, his left eye milky, his skin pale, and his hair a shock of white. He looked vaguely like a stroke victim, the left side of his body limp.

Loki held up his hands in a placatory gesture. "I am not here to harm you, Master of Berserker. Not yet. I believe you recognise me from last night."

The man looked him up and down, and scoffed. "You're Loki, of Asgard," he rasped. "And you are burdened, so you claim, with glorious purpose. Who talks like that?"

"You believe that was pretentious? You should hear the rest of Asgard speak," Loki said, subtly casting one of his compulsion charms, designed to relax and loosen the tongue of the man.

The man looked over at Medea. "I thought so. You're the Master, and she's the Servant. Caster, I presume."

Medea gave a slight bow. "You're very ill."

The man laughed, though the mirthless sound degenerated into pained coughing. "Dying. I just haven't got the time to yet. I like what you did with Tohsaka's Servant," he said to Loki. "That's the only reason I haven't called Berserker yet. So, why are you here?"

"Curiosity. What is your name, Master of Berserker? I believe you are a Matou, by process of elimination. Am I right?"

The man laughed again, bitterly. "I wish you weren't. I'm Kariya Matou. And you want to know about me, out of curiosity?" This last question had a disbelieving edge to it.

"Yes. Believe it or not, I personally have no desire for the Grail. I was sent here by Zelretch mostly to cause some discord. But I have found myself intrigued by the people participating. I have to wonder, what happened to you to end up in such a…degraded state?"

Kariya scoffed. "Crest Worms."

Medea gasped next to Loki, who looked at her sharply. "Crest Worms are considered the lowest form of familiar," she explained. "Crest Worms are parasites that feed on the body and act as Magic Circuits, feeding you prana in return. In men, they feed on marrow and nervous tissue…but in women…they feed on the lining of the womb and carnal secretions. They deliberately cause sexual excitement in their female victims."

Loki gaped. He couldn't help it, he openly gaped in horror. He thought he had heard of every potentially depraved and vile thing, in his world, and others. But this…

Kariya scoffed. "So, you haven't heard of them before? Now, imagine that done to a girl not even six years old. Raped by those things."

Loki turned back to Kariya, who winced, obviously not intending to let that slip. But then, after a moment, he said, "You said you have no desire for the Grail, Loki. But would you help me save a child, abandoned by her father, told lies and made to undergo torment by her adoptive family?"

"You're quick to trust me," Loki said quietly. The compulsion charm certainly shouldn't have worked this well.

"I'm desperate. And desperate men do desperate things. That bastard Tokiomi…he gave away one of his daughters, Sakura, to that worm I am forced to call a father. Zouken Matou, a decrepit old near-vampire who uses those worms to ensure his immortality."

Medea scowled. "Did Tokiomi Tohsaka know about the Crest Worms when he gave his daughter away?"

"He had to know something," Kariya said. "He may not know everything about what our family does, but he'd suspect it, and he allowed Zouken to have his way with her. Or rather, his worms. I saw her in the pit, worms writhing all over her. In exchange for the Grail…she is freed from the fate Zouken has in store for her, so Zouken claims."

"He sounds even less trustworthy than we are, which is saying something," Loki said. He felt disgust at what new lows humans could sink to. And something resonated. "Why did Tohsaka give his daughter away in the first place?"

"To prevent a dispute over the inheritance of the Tohsaka Magic Crest, so Aoi, his wife, told me," Kariya said. Loki noted the way Kariya spoke of Aoi's name. The man was clearly infatuated with her.

Loki looked at Medea, before he turned back to Kariya. "I have no personal desire for the Grail, though I'm not sure I can say the same for Caster. Zelretch sent me here to stir things up for the Grail War. And if your patriarch is disgusting enough to defile a young child with Crest Worms…there are many things that offend my sensibilities, Kariya Matou, but despite my only knowing of them for a short period, Crest Worms have quickly become one of my most detested things. So, what would you do if I were to deal with your pater familias and rescue Sakura?"

Kariya laughed painfully. "If you manage to pull that off, I'm definitely converting to your religion. It'd be a deathbed conversion, but…"

"Very well. I cannot promise success, as I am a busy man. But as what you told me about Zouken has managed to disgust and anger me more than I have been for quite a while, I am giving it not inconsiderable thought. Should I succeed…I will bring her to you."

Kariya nodded tiredly, before he said, "If you manage that…look, I need rest. I won't get my hopes up, but if you do…you'll have my lifelong gratitude…not that my life is that long now…"


As they left the warehouse, Medea asked, "Why are you so interested?"

"Humans are interesting in of themselves. It's something I've come to realise in my time on this world. I can see why Thor fell for one. But that's beside the point." Loki looked pensive, before admitting, his voice beginning to fill with emotion as he spoke of his epiphany even as he had it, "A child, abandoned by one father, to an uncertain future with another. Only…I realised…I was fortunate. Laufey was no father…but Odin…for all his faults…he never treated me in the same way Zouken Matou treated Sakura." Loki's hand clenched into a fist. "I will rescue Sakura Matou," he declared solemnly and quietly.

Not a promise. A statement of reality. Fitting, considering it came from a man mistaken for a god on another world. And Medea knew that woe would await anyone who dared to stand in his way…

CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:

So, there you have it. Loki's met the Kotomines. In case you're wondering why Risei spilled the beans, he is hoping that, with some truth mixed in with misdirection, he can have Loki going after their opponents. In fact, they were hoping he would go after Kariya Matou. That's backfired.

I had to wonder, why would Loki help out Kariya? Well, partly because of the whole Crest Worm thing, which would be reason enough to Loki, but, as mentioned in his last lines, he has an epiphany that his life was not dissimilar to Sakura's, only he had a decent life with his adoptive family by comparison.

We'll have more Loki/Medea in the next chapter.

Review-answering time! Kaiser Dragon: You raise a number of good points, and mea culpa, I should have looked at her abilities better. Rest assured, she will be using those abilities. That being said, I was under the impression that Casters lurked around until things were to their own advantage, before striking. That's going to be Medea's excuse in the next chapter. She wanted to gather information on the other Masters and Servants first, before striking. That is why she hasn't taken the stage yet. She's not going to rush in and start spamming Rain of Light at her foes. And she would also prefer to let other Masters and Servants try to kill each other first before swooping in, out of pragmatism. However, she and Loki will be making plans in the next chapter to obtain another Servant via Rule Breaker.

1. One of the reviewers asked about gods becoming Servants, where those like Medusa and so on. I looked it up on the Nasuverse wiki, and found the answer: demigods and gods who have 'fallen' like the Gorgons did can become Servants.