Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
The bakery was humming with life as I walked in after my failed meeting with Aro Volturi. I greeted customers with a soft smile as I passed by them to make my escape into the kitchen, but not before handing out cookies to the young children that played while their mom chatted with another mom over coffee and cake.
"How'd it go?" Seth called out to me as I breezed past him in order to wash my hands before returning to work. There was hopefulness in his tone that only added to the sick feeling that was threatening to swallow me whole.
"I don't know…" I trailed off as I thought about Aro's promise to win, but it would cost me. It would cost me a lot.
"I mean, he said the same thing that Jake did. It's never been done before, but he was willing to try," I explained as I turned to find Seth leaning against the door frame that separated the kitchen from behind the counter.
"That's a good thing, right?" he asked with a grin as if what was said was good news when it truly was anything but.
"A good thing for him. Not that it matters," I laughed through the bitterness of my words.
"What do you mean?" Seth shot back as I turned to grab my apron to get started on whatever treats that I would bake that day.
"I mean, while he thinks he can help me, which is awesome," I began with an irritated sigh as I turned to face my friend who watched me with a confused look.
"But I can't afford it so it doesn't matter."
I didn't wait for his everything-thing-will-be-alright response since I knew better. It wouldn't be.
"Oh, Bee," Seth whispered as he stepped forward to wrap in me in one of patented bear hugs. It was warm and welcoming, but it didn't erase the sick powerless feeling that came with the realization there was nothing more I could do.
"Maybe I can talk to Mike," Seth offered as he held me.
"The guy has to see that you just want to see the kids. What harm is there in that request?" Seth asked, speaking out the same questions that I had asked myself countless times before.
"Thanks," I mumbled as I broke free from his embrace. It was a sweet gesture, but I knew Mike well enough to know that it would be one he would refuse. He wanted to move on with his life as he has told me before and I have never begrudged him that, yet I never understood how moving on with his life meant that the girls were no longer had Jess's family. It was senseless to me.
"I'm going back out there," Seth said with a sigh as he motioned towards the front with a jerk of his thumb as I wiped at the tears that had started to form in my eyes.
"You take a breather," he encouraged before taking a step back to eye me with a worried look.
"Go on," I motioned him before watching him go.
I hated being weak, but more than that I hated not having a plan. I hated the unknown. It was always a problem of mine and this was no different.
I looked over the mixer and the silver metal counter tops until I focused on the phone that was silent as it rested upon its receiver. It sat there mocking me with its silence as the ghost of Edward's voice whispering in my ear from the countless messages he had left for me.
You can't avoid me forever.
He was right and that was just one more thing that I had come to hate.
AN:
Thanks for reading!
Xoxo
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