The Butler, Preoccupied
"...Well, hello..."
It was a pleasant surprise to open his door and find Grell waiting; the reaper was lounging on his bed, the black cat that Sebastian adored napping on his stomach. He looked up from petting the bundle of fur as the door opened.
"What took you so long~? I've been waiting for half an hour..."
There was a half-smirk on his lips as he spoke, glancing the demon up and down.
"I apologize..." He sat on the bed as well, idly stroking the cat's fur. "You should have found a way to tell me, I would have finished up more quickly."
"Apparently, you still haven't."
His comment was accompanied by a pointed glance at the gloves still on Sebastian's hands. The demon picked up the cat, shifting it over.
"You're right," He mused, running one hand through his hair. "Hm..."
He almost wanted to see how long he could wait, prolonging the removal of his gloves, his obligations...but the other sat there, slouched lazily against the headboard, regarding him with eyes that were somehow both coolly patient and lit with a fiery passion.
"...Unlike you to be so patient."
"I know when I can push you and when I can't. You'll take them off when you want to."
There was a smugness in his voice that didn't quite contradict his words, but revealed the possibility of another agenda.
"Do you?"
A smile, a gaze that met his own quite steadily. He was being coy again. He wanted something and wasn't going to give up until he got it.
Sebastian had to wonder if he preferred this personality or the more outgoing version. At least in his more passionate fits Grell would tell him what he wanted, instead of making him guess.
He slipped one glove off, lying across Grell's legs as he reached to stroke the kitten again. The reaper didn't react whatsoever, not even uncrossing his ankles to get slightly more comfortable.
It seemed impossible that such an impulsive individual could act like this. He almost refused to believe that he couldn't get Grell to at least hint at what he wanted.
But no, he only continued to watch, waiting, it seemed, for the other glove to come off. Suddenly feeling a bit playful himself, Sebastian bit the tip of one of the fingers of his second glove, not yet pulling it off.
There was still no reaction from the reaper. None at all. Even as he tugged it off the rest of the way, all he did was finally shift his legs, his smile growing wider.
"...What?" Sebastian smirked to hide his uncertainty; ordinarily, once his gloves came off, Grell pounced like a kitten at play...but he just sat there, coolly regarding him with that Cheshire grin.
What the hell did he want? It was killing him to sit and wait, idly hoping he'd eventually act on his own. He shifted, running a hand up and down the reaper's leg.
"You're not acting like yourself today," He says teasingly. "What happened to that eager, impulsive personality of yours...?"
"Maybe you can bring it back..."
He managed to turn the simple statement into a challenge. Sebastian's thumb dug lightly into the tender flesh of Grell's inner thigh.
"'Maybe'?" His voice was a low, almost dangerous murmur. "Do you doubt that I can?"
Something hard and cruel flashed behind the green eyes for just a moment, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. He paused before speaking again, his smile appearing strained.
"...I'm sure you're capable of it..."
"That's not the same as 'I'm sure you will'..."
That hardness behind his eyes again. What was going on? Sebastian sat up properly, gazing at Grell for a moment and trying to decipher the emotion he'd seen flickering across his face.
"Grell...is something wrong?"
"Hm?" His attention was on the kitten again, nuzzling its head into his hand. He lifted the little bundle of fur, smiling and rubbing his cheek against it as it jumped from his hands to his shoulder. The reaper laughed softly as it batted at his hair.
Sebastian shook his head, snapping himself back into the present and forcing himself to focus on something other than the downright adorable scene playing out.
"You're not acting like yourself, Grell. ...What's wrong."
"I don't see what could be wrong." He picked up the kitten again, kissing one of its ears. "Nothing's changed, really."
The pointed way in which he spoke contradicted what he was saying, but before Sebastian could protest, Grell spoke again.
"I know demons typically aren't fond of the human diet..." He was leaning over the side of the bed, picking up a bag the demon hadn't noticed before. "But what are your opinions on alcohol?"
"...What?"
He pulled a bottle from the bag, carefully placing it on the bedside table as he withdrew the two glasses in the bag as well.
"I wasn't sure if you even drank wine," he says. "So I went ahead and brought my personal favorite."
"Let me guess. It's a sweet red?"
A little smile twisted the edges of the reaper's lips upwards.
"Close. Dry."
"Oh?"
"I used to love sweets," he says idly, pouring two glasses. "...Tastes change."
Sebastian took the glass offered to him, noting to himself the not-quite-offhandedness of Grell's statement.
"What's the occasion?" he asked, swilling the dark red liquid in his glass. Grell shrugged, sipping from his.
"I was in the mood."
The demon smiled, shifting and slipping a hand into the thick tresses of Grell's hair. He gently pulled him closer.
"Tell me what's bothering you..." He implored, nuzzling his nose to the other's. "I don't like it when you're upset..."
The reaper sighed, pulling reluctantly away and sipping from his glass again.
"I need to get a little tipsy before I do that," he says. Sebastian's brow furrowed slightly as he watched him drain the glass.
"...What is it...?"
The redhead didn't respond; didn't even meet his eye. It seemed the only solution was to go along with what he'd said, and just let him drink.
"Come here, first," he finally says. "I haven't even gotten a kiss from you yet..."
He breathed a sigh of relief as Grell happily obliged, pressing close and capturing his mouth with his own, nipping affectionately, as he always did, on his lower lip...
}~X~X~X~{
Half an hour later, the bottle was half empty; Sebastian was leaning against his headboard, Grell leaning against his chest. Once again, against expectations, he'd grown more introverted as he drank. He was almost to the point of brooding now, contemplating the half-full glass of wine in his hand. Sebastian gently took it from him, pressing a kiss to his neck.
"Will you talk to me now...?"
"I've been talking to you..."
"...About what's wrong. I can't fix anything if I don't know what the problem is..."
The reaper gave a derisive snort.
"What can you do without being ordered to..."
Sebastian blinked.
What does that have to do with...?
"Grell-"
"You can do everything the brat wants you to, just because he says so... you have to do everything that damn brat wants you to...!"
He stood, moodily crossing the room and sitting at the desk with his back to Sebastian. The demon shifted, tempted to go to him.
"...I'm sorry, Grell. I made my contract with Ciel before I met you. ...What do you expect me to do...?"
He shrugged irritably, beginning to twist his hair into a braid.
"I said it before. What can you do? Nothing's changed whatsoever since we met."
"From the first time we met? A lot has changed since then, don't you think?"
"Has it really? Have I moved above the scum on the bottom of your shoe by now?"
He's not thinking about what he's saying. Whatever minimal filter he ever had is completely gone now. Ignore it; get down to what he really wants.
"...You know you have. I'm sorry if you've been feeling-"
"You're not sorry for any of it."
...Don't...say...anything stupid...don't spit back an insult at him...
"I can't help it, Grell...but it's not because I want to-"
He stood and turned, eyes flashing.
"It's not like you don't have free will! You can choose to do certain things, but you don't!"
"...Like what, Grell."
The redhead turned away again, roughly undoing the braid.
"Like...even once..."
His words faded off into incoherent mumbles. Sebastian stood, moving closer.
"Grell..."
"...I'll never come first to you. I won't. I know it. That damn brat you're tied to-"
"Is the only reason we ever encountered each other."
"And even though you hate him, you do everything you can to-!"
"To follow his orders."
"You spend all your time thinking about him, even if we're alone-"
"If I'm with you, I'm not thinking about-"
"Shut up! You don't even act like I'm something impor-"
"I don't what?"
"Stop interrupting me!"
He drew his hand back, frustrated, angry, hurt in so many ways, and now he wouldn't even listen-
The demon caught the reaper's wrist as he made to bring his arm back down in an arc that would have connected solidly with his cheek. Grell let out a startled cry; Sebastian's grip was unnecessarily tight. The words he wanted to throw at the demon died on his lips as he saw that Sebastian's eyes had taken on the glowing, feline appearance that indicated his extreme anger.
"I've been very forgiving so far," He growled. "And I have disregarded much of the nonsense you've been spouting to degrade me. But I will not tolerate what you were about to say, drunk, sober, or otherwise."
Grell let out a pathetic whimper, trying to free his arm from Sebastian's grip. The demon sneered, grabbing his chin and forcing the smaller man to look at him.
"Is there anything you've said thus far...that you'd like to reconsider."
After a moment, the green eyes began to sparkle and fill with tears; Grell fell heavily against him, shaking as he began to cry. Sebastian sighed after a moment, wrapping his arms around his companion.
"Grell...!"
"I-I...I'm...sorry..." He wasn't so much standing as using the demon to keep him upright. "...It's...it's not fair...!"
"What isn't fair..."
"That-he gets everything and all I get is the leftover time..!"
"How do you expect to change that?" He murmured softly. "There's nothing I can do...my hands are tied, Grell. Try to understand..."
"...I just...want to know you're really mine..."
"You know I am."
"...No...I don't...I'm no different than that damn kid..."
"What are you talking about-?"
"The damn gloves...! You take them off when you're done with your obligation to him...how long before you start putting them on to cut your obligation to me...?"
"It isn't an obligation, Grell-"
"Doesn't matter." His voice was flat and exhausted. "He doesn't know or care about what you do while he's asleep. He doesn't give a damn about what happens. And if it weren't for his soul, you wouldn't give a damn about him." He pulled away, spreading his arms. "What about me? I don't have any collateral. ...I have nothing...nothing but the word of a demon."
"You think I won't keep it? I've kept to my contract, no matter how little you like it."
"A contract with a demon is different than a promise from one. Demons lie all the time. Hell-you lie when you say you don't!"
"...What else would you have me do, Grell. I've given you all I can offer."
"No. No, you haven't."
He was taken aback by the suddenness and surety of Grell's response-so much so that he actually took a step backward to steady himself.
"What else could you possibly want-? What else can I-?"
He stopped as he realized what the reaper was implying. Tired and raw, but focused, the glimmering green eyes met his own.
"...What's the one thing that boy has that I don't?"
"No. No, Grell. I won't-"
His head dropped to his chest and he gave a bitter laugh.
"Exactly. You don't want to be bound to me. Besides, what could I give you in return?" He shook his head, snatching up the bottle of wine. "Forget it. I never mentioned anything."
Sebastian took the bottle before he could swig straight from it, pressing a finger to the reaper's lips as he tried to protest.
"You've had enough. ...And I say no because I have no idea of how you'll react to it."
The redhead took a step back. Sebastian started to say something, but fell silent as the green eyes meet his, suddenly sober and solemn.
"...It wouldn't interfere with your contract with the Phantomhive boy. ...Just something...to say I'm yours, and you're mine."
Could it work? Would it take on a death god?
"...I don't even know if it's possible, Grell...demons and death gods aren't exactly known for getting along famously..."
"Neither are demons and humans! You prey on them, that's the simple truth-that's not exactly 'getting along'...!"
"Things...could go horribly wrong. I doubt your body would readily accept a demon's seal."
"Perhaps, but I highly doubt contracting with you would kill me...I can endure anything else."
"...We don't know that it won't."
Grell ran a hand irritably through his hair.
"It was a stupid idea that occurred to me. It doesn't matter."
"...It seems to matter very much." Sebastian wrapped his arms around Grell, pulling the redhead's back to his chest. "...I don't want to needlessly and pointlessly cause you pain...put such an ugly mark as my own on your flawless skin..."
Grell leaned back into the embrace, sighing again.
"...Think about it. Do that for me." He gave a wry smile, some of his usual energy returning. "I'd say 'sleep on it'...but..."
Sebastian couldn't help but smile.
"...I'll consider it...but I just can't see it ending well. What if the other reapers noticed the mark? I'd be sentenced to death or some such, for seducing one of you with my dark charms..."
Grell laughed softly, turning to face his lover.
"You've already done that..."
For the first time that night, his attentions were truly sweet as he pressed close and buried his face in the demon's shoulder. Contenting himself with the fact that he was here now, that Sebastian was holding him in his arms, he forced his mind into its usual, narrow scope, refusing to think about anything but the immediate future.
