One night in the Mushroom Kingdom, a lone Bandit was sneaking around in a neighborhood. It was a special night for him, as he was about to perform his first heist. But first, he had to decide which residence to rob.

After several minutes of prowling, Bandit came across a house with an extravagant appearance. With sparkling etes, Bandit approached a ground-floor window and pulled out a wooden hammer. He then opened the hammer and pulled out a tiny glass cutter. His plan was to cut a circle from the window, slip through the hole, steal whatever caught his eye, and slip out unnoticed. "This is gonna be a blast," he whispered.

Grinning uncontrollably, Bandit held the glass cutter to the window. The second it made contact, an alarm went off and a Chain Chomp came crashing through the front door. Bandit did a double-take and ran, the Chomp in hot pursuit. As they sprinted into the distance, an old Koopa woman came outside and yelled, "Get 'em, boy!"

The Chomp didn't stop chasing Bandit until they reached a roadway in the city. It was here that Bandit got an idea. In a swift motion, he somersaulted onto the street, pried a manhole cover off the ground, flipped it into the air, and jumped down the hole, complete with the cover landing back in its original spot. Shortly after, the Chain Chomp caught up and barked furiously at the manhole.

That is until he heard honks and saw the lights of an incoming truck.

"Get off the road!" shouted the Koopa driver.

The Chain Chomp scowled and tackled the truck head on, sending it flying. A chorus of vehicle collisions followed, eventually culminating in a 500 car pileup.


After Bandit escaped the sewers, he decided to change his game plan. Instead of burglarizing a big, fancy house, he settled on a smaller, more quaint house. And instead of breaking in through the window, he used the chimney. Normally, this would be extremely stupid and dangerous, but since Bandits are smaller than humans, it was only moderately stupid and dangerous for him. Once he reached the bottom, he pulled out his sack.

You're a mean one

Mr. Bandit

You're a nasty one

Mr. Bandit

Your brain is full of Scuttlebugs, you've got Wario's garlic in your soul

I wouldn't smash you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot hammer... meant for a Monty Mole

You're a vile one

Mr. Bandit

You're a sick one

Mr. Bandit

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick Boss Bass

Mr. Ban~dit

Given the choice between you and a mutated Goomba that's covered in throbbing boils, has a tongue coming out of its stomach, and flies with its eyelids...

...I'd probably just go with you

While this song played on a record player that Bandit pulled out of... somewhere, the thief was having trouble deciding what to steal. Nothing in the house struck him as valuable. All he saw were portraits, a coat hanger, and some ugly knick-knacks. Hoping he'd find something elsewhere in the house, Bandit tiptoed into the bedroom, where the owner of the house- a mustachioed Toad- was sleeping. Silently, Bandit crept up to his cabinet, opened it, and discovered a stash of coins. "Jackpot!" he thought.

Bandit hurriedly scooped the coins into his sack and made his exit out the chimney. Like a ninja, he flung his bag skyward, jumped off the roof, landed safely on the lawn, and caught the bag when it fell after him.

"Man, I can't believe how easy that was!" Bandit said, taking a coin from the bag. He then held it to the moonlight so he could admire its shine. But it didn't shine, nor sparkle, nor twinkle, nor gleam. Confused, Bandit scraped at the coin with his finger, and to his surprise, the surface ripped away to reveal chocolate. He had stolen chocolate coins.

Infuriated, Bandit walked back into the house- using the front door this time- and shook the owner awake.

"Why the heck is your cabinet filled with chocolate coins?!" Bandit snarled.

"Would you have preferred chocolate bills? Zing!"

Bandit threw a tomato at his face and went back outside. He then poured out the contents of his sack until a purple-spotted egg appeared.

"An egg? I must've shoved this in without noticing. It looks like a Yoshi egg." He held the egg in his hand and scratched his chin. "Maybe something good came out of this after all! With my own Yoshi, I can make speedy getaways!"

The egg twitched and cracked a little.

"It's hatching!"

The shell cracked more and more until it crumbled away, exposing the newborn hatchling. However, it was not a Yoshi, but a Rex.

And of course, the little Rex bit Bandit in the face.


Bandit's night hadn't gone as planned. It was past midnight and he hadn't stolen a single worthwhile thing, but he wasn't ready to give up. The upper class house had too much security, and the lower class house had nothing worth stealing, so his solution was to hit a middle class house. After wandering aimlessly for awhile, Bandit found a home that appeared to strike a middle ground, being smaller than the first house, but classier-looking than the second. For some reason, the building seemed oddly familiar to him, but he shrugged it off and entered through an ajar window.

Unlike the previous house, this one had several possessions that caught Bandit's eye. Like a pack rat, he scurried about and collected everything he could find. By the time he was finished, his sack carried a Mailbox SP, loose change, a watch, and two pairs of shoes, all of which mysteriously gave Bandit a sense of déjà vu. Ignoring the feeling, he left the house, satisfied.

"Finally, the quest is over! I had my first successful heist, and on my first night too! Wait until I tell the Bandettes at the club!"

As Bandit walked away, he spied a mailbox on the curb. A name was brandished on its side.

"Well, wouldn't ya know it? Whoever lives in that house has the same name as me! Go figure!"

He continued on his merry way, when suddenly...

"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!"