Author's note/update:Chapter is a tad on the short side, but with exams not too far away I probably won't have the time to work on it next month, so I figured I'd put it up now. This chapter is mainly intended to develop some characters I introduced a little further. I've also tried to add a more philosophical tone to the chapter, maybe I'll do so more often. As always: Hope you enjoy the read!
A final destination?
Freedom. The means to chaos and insubordination, for such dangers there is no place in the military. Its purpose is to make us see choice, noble, but we aren't that noble. We are lazy, despicable creatures, we need someone to hold us tight or we will calmly let our society decay. That's why we believe in hierarchy, that's why we will not tolerate insubordinates, and that's why we have the largest and most feared military force in the entire galaxy! The foolish general once said, you'd only have to look at a ship like this to realise how wrong he is. Hard to believe it was co-engineered with Turians in the first place. An Asari doctor, who seems rather naïve, although she notices a lot more than you'd think. A Quarian, one of the nomads of the Galaxy, you'd expect her to have stolen something by now and yet she seems so loyal to a human. A goddamned Krogan, but nobody's been severely injured or eaten thus far. All that under the command of a Spectre because they chose to follow him themselves and the odd thing is … it works.
Vaern -still processing what he had seen from the very moment he set foot on the Normandy- looked at Shepard who was quietly sitting at his desk with his back turned to the Turian. He smirked. "Funny bunch you have Shepard."
"Funny?" He answered somewhat dryly, trying to read through some status reports.
"Funny. You bring aboard some of the least trustworthy types and yet…No one stabbed you in the back yet."
"I took you aboard Vaern. It should be obvious I give everyone a chance. Even those that don't deserve it."
"All you need now is a Salarian, a Hanar, a Volus and an Elcor and you've got yourself a regular Noah's ark."
Shepard turned around and looked at him seemingly intrigued. "You read Human mythology? And by the way you'd still need their male or female counterpart."
"You do? Well what do I care, it's not my mythology. I only read half of it. I was really intrigued with humans, they felt so…familiar to me. Thus I thought: let's read what had been the number one human book for a long time! Left me disappointed to be honest. A spiritual and moral guide to live your life? Your morals must've been just as twisted as ours then. " Vaern said, all the while scratching his chin.
"Undoubtedly they were, and sometimes, I get the feeling they still are."
"Oh yes, you're right there." He held his head at an angle "What about Chief Williams? She's religious yes? Sometimes you just have to scratch your head and wonder why."
"Ashley? She's very tolerant about it, trust me, she's no bible thumper. Besides, you can't disprove her, can you?"
"It's … I'll never understand people are willing to take such a leap of faith."
"Funny. So did I, until I let you come aboard." Shepard couldn't help but smirk at his remark.
"Funny? Are you always this facetious Shepard? What's the point you're so desperately trying to make exactly?"
"You were going to tell me how to find something I believe? Now would be a good time."
Vaern folded his arms and frowned. "Turning the tables on me, are we?"
"No we aren't. I am."
"Quite. You'll get your answer in due time."
"And when the hell is due time? Look it's not to late to kick you off this ship yet!" He pointed vaguely in the direction of the airlock.
"Spot on! It's not too late to kick me off this ship yet."
"So you're not gonna tell me until we left the dock? Is that the game we are playing now?"
"You're really quite good at this." Vaern held a pause, his eyes ran towards the picture standing on Shepard's desk. It showed a few other humans posing together and then one of Shepard and some kind of animal he couldn't recognise, he looked a lot younger still. Suddenly he noticed Shepard staring at him. "You're looking at me like that again. Trust me, I'll tell you, I'm an honest nuisance."
"Maybe I trust you just enough to believe you will tell me." Visibly annoyed he rubbed his hand over his neck, he sat there quiet for a moment to set his true emotions aside. "Alright we'll play by your rules for now, so until you're going to tell me, let me ask you something: Were you always like this?"
"You wanna know my life story? No. I've been lots of different persons, most of them left me shattered, tends to make you a bit cynical. There was really only one thing I had consistently been: Obedient. If I wasn't obedient to a soldier, it was to a mercenary or hell, an anarchist even. And every time, every damn time, they let me down. They'd always reveal there idiocy at some point. I lived in a world of lunatics Shepard, and I still do, but now I don't care about them anymore. I do what I desire. It's not always a particularly pretty philosophy maybe, but it's better than most that I've been part of." Vaern uttered these words with confidence, Shepard figured he must've had a rough life, but he believed he had finally found his place. He wasn't going to let the Turian get away with it that easily though, not without challenging him, it was the only way to get to know him, Shepard thought.
"You work for Turian military because you desire to do so? I thought you told me it was because you had to. Money."
"Yes, well, 'I do what I desire' is my motto if you will, an ideal. Doesn't work out so well when you haven't got a cred to lose. But you miss the point. You see this mission, I chose how I'd handle it. I could've turned to others if I wante-"
"You turned to me because you had no where else to turn. Face it, if you live in a world of lunatics, you won't have many friends. You either needed me, my ship, or my crew to ensure your mission will be a success. Even then, how you want to make it into a success I still have no idea off, since that Alliance prototype is returning to its rightful owner, unless you will be the first member of my crew to place a knife between my ribs."
"No, this is becoming repetitive, I won't betray you Shepard and don't worry I'll think of some way to get my creds…I always think ahead. And maybe you don't realise it, but what if I went aboard this ship because I simply wanted to work alongside the great Commander Shepard? Maybe I just saw the opportunity and jumped on it." There was a second game they had started to play, a much more personal one. Vaern was going to keep Shepard guessing about him, and if he was to truly understand Vaern, he'd have to figure it out all by himself.
"I don't believe that. I do believe you have a trick up your sleeve, but I don't know what, not yet at least."
"You'll figure me out Shepard."
"In due time, right?"
Vaern laughed, something that somehow made him sound strangely trustworthy and kind. "Charmingly put."
"Hey En." She'd been a pain to find, but in a place that looked like a cross between Flux and Chora's Den, called The Copper Garden -where everything was appropriately tinted in an orangy brown- Ashley finally saw her. "What are you doing here?"
Enya sat on a barstool, her hands firmly placed underneath her chin. "Not much, drowning myself in booze maybe."
"Oh lord, you'd be an awful alcoholic. Three glasses of that … green sludge you've got there and you'd be huddling under your stool."
"Says you! And I'll let you know that three glasses of this stuff would be the equivalent of downing half a bottle of Scotch!" Her head bobbed around a little, thus she made an effort to hold still. Instead of getting it to stop moving she noticed that tears stood in her eyes.
"You're making for a classic example of drinking ones sorrow away, you know." Ashley sat down next to her, her hand clamping on to Enya's shoulder. "Hey, look, I don't want to be demeaning, what happened is absolutely awful and I'm not gonna try to make you feel better about it, it'll take time. I'm sorry for you En, just not sure how to … react."
"Do you think he's up there, like, still around somewhere?" Her eyes looked upwards, she wondered whether the thought of a heaven would bring her any solace. On the one hand she'd never have to say goodbye, nor have to feeling she lost someone forever. On the other hand what reason was there to assume such a thing? Could she ever truly believe it, if not than there would be no comfort in the thought. And is it really pleasant to think someone could watch your every move? Enya blinked her eyes; she'd never found the time or interest to think about such questions and rather swept them aside with a smile and a joke when really there was little reason for a smile or to be witty. She had never liked the 'deep questions of life' and found more joy in the clearly visible moment.
"I'm pretty sure of it, just like that my dad's up there. That brings comfort." Her hand squeezed a little tighter.
"But how can you be so sure? Yeah maybe it brings comfort, but that doesn't make it true."
"Well, I'm not saying I have the truth. I just look at this universe and … It doesn't satisfy me the way it is, if I wanna make sense of it, there has to be more to it."
"Maybe it's not intended to be satisfying." She took a deep breath and sighed "I'm not sure Ash, I'm glad you've come to find me though."
Ashley nodded towards the drink standing in front of Enya, "So still gonna drown yourself in booze?", she looked a little concerned
"Neh, might skip that bit … I, I'm not sure I wanna talk about dad right now, it's too much…like, too soon, I got to process it first."
"Yeah, I get that. It took me quite while before I was willing to talk about it too. But you learn to live with it, eventually."
"Thanks." Enya looked down, she felt Ashley's hand caressing her shoulder. "So where have you been hanging out?"
"Me and Shepard had a meeting with that Turian detective fellow. Turns out we're taking him aboard, not sure how I feel about that, I mean, he's the least trustworthy one we've recruited yet." ,She frowned and let a small sigh go, "And after that we went to flux. I love that place."
Enya smiled mischievously, "You and Shepard eh?" She nudged Ashley, trying to get her mind of her dad's fate.
"Hey, it's all perfectly decent!" She couldn't help but chuckle. Her hand moved away from Enya's shoulder and she rested them on the bar instead. A vague dreamy glow sparkled in her eyes. "I know what you're thinking, but it's not like that. We're keeping the fire nice and controlled."
"So not the same kind of 'controlled' as it was with me and Adam?"
"No, not controlled as in driving a car without brakes and a brick placed on the gaspedal."
"Did you kiss?"
"No! Ofcourse not, I-"
"Can tell you're lying!" She pointed at her face, the smile that Ashley had tried to suppress; her eyes were completely focussed, showing the intent to get to the bottom of it. For a moment she completely forgot about her dad. "Do you remember what you used to tell me, Miss Hypocritical?"
"Stop it En! It was just one … accident, heat of the moment, you of all people should know the thing."
"Ah yes sure, I know all about it" She moved a little closer to Ash, still smirking. "In fact I'm a bit of a self-proclaimed expert, aren't I?" Deep down the thought hurt her, but she saw no real use in denying her past, it happened the way it happened, nothing was going to change that. What would be the point of wanting it different anyway?
"Well how are we going to end up then Miss Having-slutted-about-so-much-I-know-it-all?" Ash quickly regretted the remark, as she immediately reminded herself of the state Enya was in. She had to be gentle and yet this very moment she failed to do so.
"Hey, play nice you! And if you really wanna know, you're clearly gonna end up sharing you're love, or as you call it, sluttiness in the Captain's quarters."
Ashley laughed "Yeah sure and how did you come to that conclusion?"
"Why else is there a king sized bunk?"
"I think I do love him though En. He's quite sweet, you know?"
"Well, he has class, I'll give you that."
"Yeah, there's something in his look, it just…Damnit, It just sweeps me off my feet." She shook her head and smiled.
Enya smiled back at Ash, as she was genuinely happy for her. "What does he think about you? Do you know? I mean, he's a bit introvert."
"He feels the same way as I do, he said so himself. And I guess that's why we both want more than the regs and a good, rational pair of brains allow us to have. In Flux, when we were dancing, it all felt so right and yet ..."
"Yet you craved for more? So, I suppose, you are both dancing around that issue, huh?"
Ashley raised a brow when she saw the smirk on Enya's face. "You look way too proud of that pun, WAY too. But, talking about love, how about you? Still interested in Joker?"
"Kinda, but I don't know, sometimes it's like he's already in love with his damn ship. God forbid them to ever give it a voice, or it'll turn into all kinds of creepy." She suddenly looked away for a moment, Ash wasn't sure what she was checking but got an answer before she could ask. "Hey Ash, isn't it about time to get back to the Normandy?"
"Wha-" She paused for a second as she looked at the time, "Damn, better get our asses in gear!"
"Decontamination in progress" The airlock slowly closed, the Normandy was almost ready to leave the docks again and to move into the wonderous depths of the galaxy. Just a century ago mankind had doubted whether they'd ever be able to explore the universe thoroughly beyond the Solar system and now they had access to an entire galaxy. One that is more intriguing than they had imagined, one filled with life. Which was one of the greatest mysteries yet to understand. They had never considered that the galaxy offered so many different species, that shared such great similarities. For some this is a reason to believe we are all created by something that is mightier than any of us. Others suggest that we all share a common origin that spread throughout the galaxy, like a dandelion whose seeds spread as they are carried by the wind. Scientists often pleaded for better funding of research projects that tried to unveil this mystery, but they barely ever got it. Whether it was a lack of interest or a fear that the research might reveal unwanted knowledge was never clear. Many of them therefore turned to the Protheans, -a subject that did actually garner the interest of those with the money- for society was largely based on what is believed to be their technology. Investors often funded Prothean research in the hopes that an amazing piece of technology would be found or unravelled. The scientists on the other hand often turned to them to try to find out whether they had sound answers to our unanswered questions.
The clamps that held the ship in place were released and the ship moved backwards, very slowly turning. Joker calmly steered it away from the docks, heading towards the space that surrounded the Citadel and -more specifically- the Mass Relay. His eyes moved over the various screens, checking if everything was correct and then set off, wondering where Vaern was going to send them.
