Chapter Nine – The Ninth Letter, Age Ten

Dear Quil,

Well, I admit, I did have to take a ten minute break after writing that last one. Because every word I spoke was truthful… You were there for me, always.

My brother, as the baby, captured my mother's attention the most, and my sister was a daddy's girl, so I was kind of stuck awkwardly in the middle. I remember that instead of them having to scoot over and make room for me, I would go to you instead. I loved being with you, somehow subconsciously knowing that you loved me more than anyone else in the world.

It was a great feeling, having you there for me for every nightmare, every insult thrown my way. Bullies became nothing to me after talking with you, I could solve fights with friends after seeking your advice… you say I'm the special one, but in truth, it's you. It's you all the way.

So- I guess I'm just going to retrieve a memory, my most memorable one from when I was ten. It was a Saturday morning, and mom was bummed because Hanna was a senior now, and didn't want to go to anything in public with her anymore. So, she took me to Port Angeles for some shopping.

Mathew had then started his stretch of getting better, and she was in a happy mood, so she babbled the entire ride. I had sat there with my patience being tested, wishing I could have gone with you to see Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam… I loved visiting, because I also loved seeing Embry and Brady and the rest of the pack, who were like uncles to me.

Finally, we pulled up in front of a mall, and she smiled at me. "Now, remember Claire, to stay close to me." She warned. I rolled my eyes as I hopped out of the car, pursing my lips in annoyance.

"Yes, mother. I know." I remarked in a sassy tone. She sighed as she came up to walk by me, squeezing my shoulder quickly before dropping her hand. We walked into the mall, and she pointed to a store window filled with white and pink frill, not my kind of clothes.

"Mom, I'm actually going to go over there." I whispered to her. She nodded absentmindedly as she took off in the opposite direction. I headed to a music store, CD's lining the shelves. I scanned the pictures on the front, scrunching my nose when I figured I was looking at country music- ugh. I moved to another row, and saw only more country. I was getting annoyed as I walked through the store, and all they seemed to have was rap, country, R&B, and contemporary. Contemporary was okay, but not that interesting.

Finally, I turned away from the store with a disgusted look on my face, and set out to find the store my mother was in. I looked all around, and didn't find her. I shrugged my shoulders, I knew it wasn't a big deal. I just leaned against the window for a few minutes, waiting for her to stop by. She didn't.

I was a little worried as I traveled further down the mall, looking in every store I thought she might be interested in for her. I was a little scared when I turned around, and tried to find the exit we had used.

Later, I would find out that she had stopped into the bathroom quick, and had thought I was still safely in the music store. But then, I didn't know that. And later, I would find out that I used the wrong exit. But then, I didn't know that.

My panic had risen when I found there were only twenty-three cars in that parking lot, none of them my mothers.

And, because I was panicked, and because I was only ten, I had concluded stupidly that she had left without me. "I can't believe this!" I shouted to the sky. Then, I was in shock that my mom would leave me behind. I knew that I was her least favorite child, but I thought that she had still loved me!

I was still crying as I started to walk home. I didn't have a phone, and I was the only one in the sixth grade, too. My parents had said that they didn't have one when they were younger, so why should I need one? Well, I figured that they wanted me to get lost. So I started walking, setting my way for La Push.

As it got darker and darker, and my feet got more tired, and I started shivering, my sobs got louder. Truthfully, I had no idea where I was going. It was completely dark out, and I was scared as shit.

And then, quite suddenly, I heard the screeching of tires behind me. Glancing back, I saw a car coming full speed down the road, and my panic went into overdrive. My heart had started hammering inside my chest as I sprinted away.

I mean, I thought it was some sociopathic kidnapper or something! I thought for a second that the person was going to kill me or something.

But then, it pulled over to the side of the road, and you hopped out looking furious… Yet, I was so fricken relieved. I stopped in my tracks, and let you run to me, and scoop me into your arms. I was still sobbing as you squeezed me to your chest.

"What in hell's fucking name were you thinking?" you growled. It was the first time you ever said 'fuck' in front of me, and I was a little caught off guard.

"My mom left me at th-the mall, so I had to start walking home." I had cried to you. You had sighed, holding me tighter.

"Oh, Claire. You have to stay with your mom. You realize you scared me to death?" you had whispered. And then you had carried me to your car. On the drive home, you made me feel so much better, as you always do.

"Don't ever do that again, Claire. I almost died when I heard." You whispered painfully. I then placed my hand on your shoulder, and leaned in real close.

"I promise."

And I still do.

With love, Claire