Okay well, today's the first sonogram at 8 weeks. I'm in the car with Antonio and I admit I'm nervous. What if some things wrong? What if it hasn't grown and just hasn't miscarried yet? Oh no, what if that happens? Antonio will be devastated.
Wait hold on, nothing has happened yet let's just wait until we get to the ob-gyn. Everything will be fine, right?No, relax Lovina, it's only a check up. Nothing is wrong. They only want to check the health and see if there's only one baby. But what if I'm having twins or triplets?
"Lovina, are you okay?"
Oh, it's just Antonio. No need to panic.
"Uh, yeah" I lie through my teeth.
"Lovi, it's okay. There's nothing to worry about just relax. I'm here with you."
He just holds my hand firmly and rubs circles on my palm. I let myself relax and lean against the window. I've got like 35 minutes until were there so I got a bit of time to rest. It'll be fine. Anyway, the car's rocking me asleep so I can't really help it. I'll be fine...
***
"Lovi, it's time to wake up now. Come on Lovina."
Huh? Oh, I must have fallen asleep. We're still moving but judging by the clock were almost there. I turn to Antonio who just has one of those big grins.
"Did you sleep well mi amor?"
I nod yes and yawn as we pull up to the clinic. I shake myself awake and stretch but by the time I finish my routine Antonio's at my door pulling me up.
We walk through the parking lot and make it there. Antonio signs me in and I wait for my name to be called. Seriously, these magazines suck. Who reads parenthood magazines anyway? That's only something I expect from potato bastard except he would read books instead of magazines.
"Are you okay Lovi? You haven't talked for a while. Is anything wrong?"
"Yeah, just nervous. Don't worry." I say leaning my head on his shoulder.
"Why are you nervous Lovi?"
"I just don't know what's going to come up. What if some thing's wrong or that there's more than one?"
"Well I don't think that will happen, but if they do I'll stick with you through everything." He chuckles lightly.
Fuck he always gets me right in the feelings. I'm kinda happy I'm stuck with him; I could be stuck with someone else.
"Lovina Vargas!" The nurse calls.
I follow her to a plain sonogram room where I am left with Antonio to wait. I go and lay on the flat chair bed thing while Toni sits next to me.
"Hello, I'm doctor matta. How are you two?" She says walking in.
"We're fine thank you."
She sits down by the monitor and asks me to roll up my shirt (which I do).
"Now this is going to be cold Ms. Vargas just to warn you."
I nod but that gel was hell. It was cold, slimy and disgusting but I couldn't complain. Both I and Antonio want to see the baby so I'll have to take one for the team. The screen lights up after and she starts sliding the wand thing in her hand over my abdomen as Antonio's eyes are glued to the screen.
After searching for some time a grayish white blob shows up amongst the black and Antonio squeezes onto my hand. The fact that the one tiny blob is me and Antonio's child is too much for me to fathom.
"So everything looks fine with your child and your about 8 weeks along." Still in shock, we just nod yes.
"Okay, I'll print off some pictures but I want to check your child's heart beat."
She messes around with machine and then we hear the heart beat come on. Yeah, I fucking lost it right there and cried my eyes out. She just prints the pictures and hands them to me with some paper towels. She leaves after shutting the monitor off and telling us when to schedule another appointment.
We leave the clinic and buckle back in to head home. I expected us to drive off but instead Antonio leans over and pulls me close. We (okay I) just cry for a while in such joy.
"Thank you, Lovina. Thank you so much!"
We part after a while and drive off still holding hands. I lay back and daydream the whole way home.
