Author's Note: The prompt for this one came from a random fact generator, which gives Chuck Norris-like quotes about the character of your choice...
Minerva kneaded her temples, glaring balefully over her glasses at the handful of battered first-years trembling in front of her desk.
"Well?" she snapped. "What happened?"
A small boy with a violently swollen lump on his forehead muttered something about Quidditch.
"First years are not allowed their own broomsticks." she snapped. "Next!"
"Someone jinxed the bludger..."
"Twenty points from Gryffindor. Next."
The plump, trembling child didn't say anything. He just dripped.
"Well?"
"Minerva," Poppy interjected in a motherly way. "They've just had their first potions lesson..."
Professor McGonagall groaned inwardly. Brooms and bludgers might break their bones, but Severus Snape's glares could liquefy kidneys.
