Cosmic Comedy - some things only a god can see the humour in.
Thirty year old Aiden - the husband, the father of two - is finding himself in a situation that every guy would laugh his ass off if he found someone else in it. Too bad he's the guy in it. Self insert, gender bender!
This is the Final Chapter before the time skip. No, the story isn't ending here, don't worry. As well, I would like to take the time to point out that no one even noticed the joke I put in chapter 7 that I got from a review. Shame on you all! :P Read the A/N at the end of this chapter for details.
Please Review, it helps me to put in more jokes I laugh at.
Chapter 9
8-8
Just as I got up, reaching for my towel (had to actually get out of the furo to grab it) when...
SHHHHT!
"... stupid, age denying, old wrinkly..." Oh. Hell! No. I turned, hoping that this was all just some weird ass dream. But the bug-eyed, oh shit, this can't be happening look in his eyes...
"... Ai... why is there blood running down your leg?" Had my brain been functioning, I might have realized that he was half asleep. However...
I lost control of my motor functions – I was on autopilot... All I know is that my knuckles were sore and I let out the most girliest... high-pitched... heaven's wrath called down on upon my foes... screech I had ever heard in my life.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Within seconds Ka-san and Nee-san were also in the bathroom with us. I heard shouting going back and forward – and I'm pretty sure I heard a body launch through one of the walls (I can't even tell who or by whom, but someone was hit... hard).
All I knew for sure was that I felt a line of warm, sticky liquid trickling down my leg. I didn't dare look. I refused to dab at it. I just wanted to pretend that I had peed a bit out of nervousness.
"Ai, baby, look at me." I heard Ka-san's voice trying to call me back to the land of the living. I heard her, but I was lost. Aiden, the man I was... was dead.
Such morbid thoughts could only summon torrential tears to wash away the last evidence of the man I used to be. "Imouto-chan, it's okay. It's okay. He's gone. It's just us girls, okay?" Shizune tried soothing me, but her choice in words...
Her choice in words made it real to me – I wasn't Aiden anymore. I couldn't be him anymore. Senju Ai... was no longer a persona... she was... no, I became Senju Ai. 'I am Senju Ai... a girl... I am Senju Ai...'
Ka-san tugged me to her, wrapping me in an oversized towel and hugging me to still my trembling. I didn't even know I was shaking until she held me so tight that my muscles started protesting against it.
I stumbled over my words, trying to tell her how it was all over – the old me was dead. Some bullshit like that.
I'm not really sure how long I just lay there, blubbering in her arms, but eventually she got me to get dressed. She had to end up applying the pad for me – my hands were trembling like a Parkinson patient. The interesting thing is... I wasn't even mad at Naruto. He was just the unlucky one who happened to be there and I just happened to need a vent. Just one more thing that I hated about this stupid body of mine.
"It's alright baby... Ka-san's here." I kinda just latched onto her again... and like the little girl I was... I cried some more.
8-8
Naruto-nii was waiting outside the bathroom door. He had several lumps on his skull and what looked like dried bloodstains near his nose and both corners of his mouth. I felt bad before for reacting the way I did... but now I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
"Nii-san I-" "Ai, I-" We started at the same time.
Well that was weird. Did he stutter or...? "Let me go first. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have checked if someone was in there. I guess I'm not used to all this."
"Maybe, but I shouldn't have over reacted like that. I-"
"Reacted the way any girl in your shoes would have reacted." He stood firm. I blushed, knowing he was right. "I'm sorry, Ai. I will be more careful from now on. Please forgive me." He bowed, the look on his face showing he was hoping that I wasn't mad at him anymore but he would understand fully if I was – kind of a pleading, hopeless look. When did he get so mature?
I hugged him. "There's nothing to forgive, Nii-san. I was more freaked out about... that other thing." He blanched, but nodded anyway. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Are you-" I was already bringing my hands to his face to check for any breaks or something.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." He swatted my hands away. He was already stepping towards the bathroom door. "I heal fast. Just need a good shower and I-"
I grabbed him by the ear. "You aren't going anywhere until I check to make sure you're okay!" He grumbled 'Itee!' a few times, sputtering some excuse why I shouldn't bother. Too bad I was already scanning him...
I sensed nothing out of the ordinary. No cuts, no scrapes, no tissue damage, no internal bleeding or signs of bruising. Nothing. "Cool! You really do heal that quickly."
He grumbled something along the lines of 'I told you so.' "Nii-san, get used to people caring about your health." I shoved him into the bathroom, telling him to hurry up. Still, the look on his face... it...
For some weird reason I found myself blushing at that smile in his eyes. That one had me going for a loop – was I developing a crush on Naruto? Nah, that couldn't be right. That goofball was cool as a big brother type... but definitely not my type. Wait! I have a type? When did...
My conversation with Hanabi came back to haunt me – when she was asking me if I liked Konohamaru... I remember saying that the nerdy type was the hottest to me. Or something like that. Was that my type? Why did I need to have a type? Couldn't I just be?
Why was being and falling in love suddenly such a big thing for me? It had to be because my friends were always talking about it. This was just a lame attempt at making even more girly than I already was. The only question was... who was behind it. Didn't I have enough to deal with today?
8-8
After getting dressed, I made my way downstairs. I decided to go with a turquoise Iromuji Kimono with a salmon and gold obi, to make it a bit fancy. The theory behind it being that the simpler design of the Iromuji made for a rather informal look, but the complex design on the obi made the overall outfit look fancier. As well, there was something of a colour trick with the salmon foiling the turquoise – I studied medicine and biology, not colours.
Anyway, on entering the sitting room, I noticed that guests had already arrived. Sarutobi Hiruzen and Asuma, Hyuuga Hiashi, Yuuhi Kurenai, Maito Gai, Hatake Kakashi, Ebisu (why the hell does no one ever mention his family name?), Shiranui Genma, Namiashi Raidou, Yamashiro Aoba, and some guy I didn't know – he vaguely looked like a Sarutobi though. As well, Konohamaru and Hanabi were off to one side waving me over.
"Good morning everyone." I bowed to them, trying to be on my best behaviour. I really wasn't in the mood for people though.
I exchanged some pleasantries with the ones I was more familiar with, Sandaime-sama getting the warmest greeting of the bunch. Then I sat next to Hanabi, earning a very curious gaze from her. She made a joke about Sekihan – which literally meant 'red rice', a dish served only on special occasions... which one's menarche fell under.
I blushed. There was no way I was admitting to anything in front of this many people – let alone g...uys... yup, gone, dead and buried. Maybe I should have worn my Mofuku Kimono? It's perfect to mourn the passing of my manhood.
"Thank you all for coming on such short notice." Ka-san entered the room, all business. "And Jiraiya, stop hiding behind my potted plants." He, wha...
The air around said potted planted shifted for a second – the colours mixed unnaturally. Slowly, everything went back to normal, revealing Konoha's very own super pervert with his hand forming the seal for a jutsu release. "Nice to see you too, Princess." He rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed.
"Ero-sennin! When did you get here?" Naruto pointed at the Toad Sage accusingly – almost as if he was expecting the old coot to do something that was going to get both of them in trouble. When did Naruto get here, by the way.
"Calm down, brat. I'm here to bear witness on your behalf." Jiraiya defended himself. Okaaaaaaaaay...
"Please sit down and be quite. We are still awaiting the final two." Ka-san pointed out. This was making less sense with each passing second. Soon, Sasuke and Sakura entered, taking their seats with us. Ummm... okaaaaaay...
"I'm sure you are all wondering why you're here." Ka-san was talking to the six of us. She got nothing but nods in return. "I will explain, but first I have asked each of you to select a sensei for a three week training mission. Who is that sensei?" A feeling of foreboding swept through the room. I already knew that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were considered the new Sannin – at least to me. But what did that have to do with me, Hanabi and Konohamaru?
"Jiraiya." Naruto said without any hesitation. I noticed a warm smile creeping onto the silver haired pervert's face – the respect, and dare I say love, was mutual.
"Shizune-san." Sakura said. She looked a little unsure, almost as if she wanted to choose Ka-san, but didn't think the legendary medic would agree. Well, taking the current reigning Hokage away from the village for three weeks would take a state emergency, so I could understand her reasoning.
"Kakashi." Sasuke went with the only other person he knew with the Sharingan – kinda made sense.
"Otou-sama." Hanabi announced. Again, this kinda made sense. He could train her much better than anyone else in Konoha, given their family style and doujutsu.
"Uncle Asuma!" Konohamaru just had to get overly excited about that. "That way I get aunty Kurenai for free!" Everyone got a good laugh off of that one – although Kurenai and Asuma both glared at the boy for it. I didn't get it, but I didn't have to – I thought they were only dating casually. It didn't help that I pointed that out though.
Once everyone settled down, and Konohamaru stopped complaining about the welt on his head (I blinked so I can't say for sure who gave it to him, although Kurenai looked quite pleased with herself), everyone turned to me expectantly. I hadn't given it much thought. I was still weighing the pros and cons with the six jounin I knew well enough to consider.
"Perhaps if I knew the intention of this I would be able to choose easier." I tapped my finger against my chin, hoping to get some sort of information out of someone. Everyone just smiled patiently at me – fish all you want, no one's biting. "Fine... Sandaime-sama?" I looked at him, hoping he would take me. He nodded and smiled. That kinda begged the question: why didn't anyone else try to take him?
"Very well. Each has chosen. You leave in four days." Ka-san announced. And the reason behind this is...? Everyone nodded, most looked exited... and no one was explaining shit.
"Um, Ka-san?" I ventured, a million questions running through my mind at once.
"All in due time, Ai." She smiled at me, meaning that she would keep her word and explain... but when she was good and ready to do so. Fucking wonderful. "Now, I believe we all came here for some breakfast."
8-8
After everyone left, it was time for a crash course in manners... and Naruto-nii wasn't going to like it. I drafted Inaho, Kosuke and Fuki to help me, with Kohada pretending to be the hostess of the Chaji. "Okay, Nii-san, what's the first thing you need to do?" I asked. It was a trick question of course.
"Dress appropriately and show up early." He answered.
"That's right..." (^-^)'' Shit, that's one bowl of ramen right there! Why did I agree to buy him a bowl ramen for each correctly answered question? Oh right, motivation. Shit. "Once everyone arrives they are expected to wait in a separate room. Sometimes there are snacks and tea, but most often there isn't. What does this depend on?" Get this wrong, get this wrong!
"The hostess of the ceremony. Each Chadou –or way of the Tea– school teaches different principles, and even then there are differences in the type of ceremony and the season it is held in." He was too sure of himself. That sneaky little prick! He studied to increase his chances at more ramen!
"Very good. Now, once everyone has arrived, they are shown to the area where the Chaji will be held. In what order are they to be called in and seated?" I asked, already knowing this was going downhill.
"In order of prestige, of course." He was smiling ear to ear, raising three fingers to taunt me. Yup, that's the third bowl of ramen right there.
"Once everyone is seating for the first round, a thick tea is handed around. What is the order in which they pass it around, and what is the proper way to drink from it?" Hopefully I can just make the questions hard enough to get him on a technicality.
"It starts with the guest of honour and moves around in order of most important to least important. And when you get the bowl with the tea you turn it half way around to drink from the far side then wipe that part with a towel that comes with the bowl." He raised another finger, knowing he was right. I just glared at him.
"I'm starting to think that ramen is the only way to motivate you." I intoned, getting a chuckle out of him. "Look, you obviously know the theory behind Chaji, so we will get down to table manners and mannerisms around high society." He smiled a little brighter. That couldn't be a good thing. "When placing your Hashi –or chopsticks– what do you have to pay attention to?"
I motioned for him and the others to sit down, this was going faster than I anticipated. I was originally going to just go over the theory as we went through the mock ceremony. "Always place used Hashi on top of the bowl most recently used and never point it towards anyone. Which is why no one is allowed to sit to the head or foot of a table – it allows everyone a neutral area to aim both ends at without worry of reprisal. And never stick your chopsticks into food or soup and leave it there, that is too much like a funeral. And never hand someone something from your bowl – anything that goes from chopstick to chopstick is too much like a cremation ritual of the family of the deceased. And never rub two Hashi together, it's a sign that the utensils are cheap." He raised two fingers for that one. Sadly he was right, he earned to correct answers with that. One for the answer to the question, the other for sitting in seiza which is the formal way for both genders to sit.
"I think I'm going to treat you to ramen more often. This just saved us a day." I pointed out. "Well, that's everything I thought important for today. Now we need to get you to the outfitters and after that is clothes shopping." His smiled died immediately. No guy ever kept a straight face when a female in his life says the time for shopping has rolled around. Well, most don't at least. "Don't worry though, it's just Hinata, Hanabi and I doing most of the selecting for you. Ka-san and Nee-san couldn't make it because of their meeting."
8-8
I still wasn't feeling any better than I was that morning – in fact I felt a good deal worse. At least I was getting used to the odd feelings. Feelings, because other than an emotional upheaval, the constant feel of something dripping out of me like I was peeing a little bit every other minute or so, and the feeling of wearing a diaper (it was a pad, but it was a bulky one that felt like a diaper) was wearing my patience thin. Still, I've heard of people having much worse – the bloating was tolerable, there was little to no pain and there were no bursts of desire to steal, break or kill something. Yes, I'd known some crazy ass females in my time. I'm pretty sure I was related to the majority of the basket cases, but I try not to remember that detail most of the time.
"Alright, Nii-san. This is our first stop. I already made a reservation with Sengo-san to have you properly outfitted, so Tenten and Yun will be here as well to make sure we miss nothing. You can have opinions on everything, but without a strong case you are adhere strictly to what we decide." I told him. I left no room for argument – and if need be I would use the emotional backlash of his walking in on me earlier to shut him up quickly. I was in no mood for bullshit.
We entered the outfitters, immediately being greeted by the familiar faces. Tenten and Yun had outdone themselves, already having selected a number of outfits for him to try – some even had marginal orange in them just in case.
"I'm still not entirely sure why I can't just buy my clothes at a regular store." Naruto complained, mostly in protest to the first outfit – a forest green jumpsuit to get him into the swing of things.
"Because the clothes we stock have more padding and are therefore much more resilient to sharp things like kunai and shuriken." Tenten explained, handing him a second outfit – this was pitch black and was somewhat more like Sasuke's outfit. I hated it immediately.
He 'ahh'ed and I left him to his fate. Hinata would be the decision maker in this little sojourn – and I had more important things to tend to. "Ji-chan! Good to see you!" I greeted the elderly Sengo. He smiled at me warmly, already waving me over to the counter.
"Ai-chan, I have the package you needed. Wasn't that hard to acquire really." He limped into the back room, coming back quickly with a straight sword in its sheath. "Standard issue ANBU sword, already polished and sharpened to my standards." He offered me the sword, holding it with both hands – palms facing the floor. This too was a page out of an etiquette book – more applicable for warriors, but still important. I accepted it with both hands, palms facing the ceiling, waiting for him to release it into my grip. I also had to be careful not to actually touch his hands – that was a major no-no.
Taking it out of its scabbard, I examined the blade from every angle. Logically I would never be able to find a fault if Ji-chan couldn't... but it was part of the process of truly accepting the sword from him. "It's perfect. Thank you." I bowed low – after sheathing the blade of course. We didn't want any oops moments.
He waved it off. "Think nothing of it. However, I did have a favour to ask you. You see, Tenten and Yun have been working on a project of sorts." He had my undivided attention almost immediately. "They wanted to design an umbrella with a sword hidden in the shaft of it, but we need someone to actually work with it to decide if it is worth marketing, or if it's more of a make only on demand kind of thing."
"Hinata-chan! You don't expect me to actually wear this do you?" Nii-san complained.
"Naruto-kun, you should at least try it before you knock it!" Yun countered, not even letting the shy Hyuuga put her two cents in. I just shook my head, getting back to the conversation at hand.
"Hmm, a hidden sword tactic won't work with the majority of the populace. Realistically speaking it would be more of a special order, unless you want to keep one or two in stock in case. I doubt it would sell all that well, especially if you advertise that you sell them." He hmm-ed at my analysis. "However if you alter the product slightly... like offering a sheath as well so that they can have the option of hiding a sword they are already used to... it might work. Especially if the sword is one that they like. It could be more of an extra service you could offer to anyone buying a sword from you."
He laughed. "I told them the same thing." I couldn't tell if he was just humouring me or not, but it didn't matter. "So will you try it?"
I saw no reason not to. "Alright. When can-" He reached under the counter and brought up a fancy looking umbrella. This wasn't a dance prop, but more of a practical one that could actually stand up against rain and perhaps even a slight storm.
"Yun made the umbrella, but Tenten made the sword. It's something of a pet project I thought up thirty years ago, but have never been able to actually create. She made one for her personal collection as well." He explained. I hmm-ed, wondering what the hidden motif was.
"I see." I accepted the umbrella in the same manner as the sword that was now resting on the counter top. "So what sets the sword apart then?" He didn't answer, instead he handed me a scroll with the kanji for 'Sengo Clan' scribbled over the front of it.
"The sword's name is Tenshi." He informed me gravely. I drew the sword, wondering why it would be named 'angel'. The blade was black. Pitch black.
"You-" Tears were streaming down my face before I could hope to help it. Tenten would never make a black sword at her age. Blacksmiths only made a blade black as a sign that it would be their last. Either they were retiring, or they were dying. "Please tell me you are planning on moving to a beach somewhere to live out you retirement in the sun."
"You gave me something no one else could, Ai-chan... you gave me time with no pain. I was able to run after my youngest great grandchild yesterday. Run!" He blinked away a few tears. "This is my final blade." His decision was set in stone.
"I won't complain if you retire, Ji-chan... I just want to know you'll be here for another few years at-"
"You and I both know I won't be." His eyes were dancing with mirth. "We both know I wasn't meant to survive that stroke. Besides, my wife is probably already complaining that I made her wait on me this long." His tone was so light, so carefree. He was at peace with himself and the death that awaited him. I didn't envy him for that, nor did I begrudge him his desires.
I sighed. "Does the family know?" A condition of making a black blade: if the smith proclaimed his choice was death... then death was imminent. Whether by his own hand or... it didn't matter – imminent was the point.
"Tenten walked in on me polishing it. I swore her to secrecy." I caught the hint.
"You know I can't-"
"It's already done." He smiled at me. The limp. He hadn't limp once since the invasion. A few new tears spilled out. "I took the painkillers Shizune-san prescribed, does wonders to make the last leg painless." His face was losing colour. I can't say for sure if it was only noticeable now that he brought it to my attention or not though.
"Ji-chan, I-" I was shaking my head from side to side, unsure what to say. I had given several dozen lethal injections, but none of them were to people I knew that well – professionally or otherwise. Yeah, euthanasia was no fun for any medically trained personnel to administer. It actually felt worse than meeting a patient in the ER with DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) tattooed to their chest. Still, this made me feel more guilty that any of that.
"Don't cry for me, Ai-chan. You've given me the greatest of gifts: time to say my farewells properly." He kept his voice low, to not cause ruckus.
"Ai-chan! Come take a look!" Yun called me over. Ji-chan nodded, wiping away my tears for me. Even though his hands were leathery and calloused, his touch was gentle.
"Go on." He nodded towards his granddaughters. I can't remember a time my chest burned quite so much.
8-8
On my way out the store, I whispered to Yun and Tenten that Ji-chan looked tired and that they should help get him to bed. It wasn't exactly breaching the agreement we made, and it granted him some private time with the girls before his final bow.
I left the Shinobi Outfitter Store in a totally different state of mind than I entered it. "Well, guys. The next stop is Ichiraku's." I announced, trying to sound as upbeat as I could.
No one was fooled. "Ai-chan what's-"
"Come on, that ramen isn't going to eat itself you know." I grabbed Hanabi by the hand, dragging her ahead. It wasn't to get her alone to talk, it was more of a convenient excuse to run away from that place.
Death was such a messy thing. Messy and... heartbreaking. I had long since let go of any notion of sorrow surrounding the act of dying itself, working in a hospital will do that to you. But a planned death... that still stung.
I understood his reasoning, I really did. But this? Naming his Kokuto, his black blade... Tenshi? Was this his way of thanking me? Had he given me his angel of death, so I could save lives? And he made it a hidden blade within an umbrella to boot! What did he want to say through it?
"Ai... he's dying isn't he." Damn her and her ability to read me so well. Another tear spilled out. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself in an alley. Her arms wrapped around me and she was whispering for me to let it out. How could I not oblige?
I didn't hold back a single tear. I didn't choke back a single sob. Though I was silent for the most part, I let myself grieve the kind man that had done so much for me – more than he would ever get the chance to know.
All the while the umbrella containing Tenshi was clutched to my chest. I... didn't know what else to do. Well, there was always cry some more. Yeah, that might just work.
8-8
Dearest Senju Ai,
Blooming trees, beauteous flowers and the lengthening of sunlit hours sing songs of spring. How have you been? Has your heart already deemed a young man worthy? Tis the season for it, after all.
Thanks to you, I'm in better health and spirits than I can remember being in the last twenty years. I have been chasing after all of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren like I was a teenager again! I can't remember the last time my arthritis allowed for such a simple act to be without pain.
Though these past weeks have been the most wonderful in recent memory, I long for the girl I fell in love with nearly a century ago. My heart aches with a pain no medic can hope to cure. As such I have chosen to give you a final gift. Tenshi is a sword like no other, and I trust she will serve you well.
The fuuin on the reverse side of this letter contain a scroll with instruction on how to use Tenshi, as well as the sheath she comes with. Should the umbrella be damaged, Tenten would be able to repair it, or make a new one – she is the one that made this one after all.
I'm certain that by the time you've had a chance to read this letter, I will have al-
I couldn't read any further than that. Tears blinded me. Memories of patients that had died on my watch came back to haunt me in full force – and one patient in particular. A man that arrived with no ID in the ER when I first started there. He appeared to be in his early twenties, but his hair was already turning gray.
He stuck out mostly because of the heartbroken look in his eyes. I remembered him telling me that he didn't need to be saved, because the woman of his dreams had been killed in a car accident not a week earlier. He looked right at me, begging me not to save him.
No idea what he died of, or even how he ended up in my ER in the first place. All I remember was that we managed to stabilize him, only for him to slip away in recovery. He had lost the will to live before even making it to us. He was also the exact reason I stopped working ER. After all, what good was a saving a patient that didn't want to be saved?
Love makes us do some crazy shit. A fool's wisdom and a wise man's folly... whoever said that knew what they were talking about.
My mind kept wandering to Yun and Tenten. How would they take it? Would they resent me for accepting Tenshi?
And what was Tenshi? A pet project from Ji-chan's past didn't say much to me. Part of me wanted to unseal the scroll with the instructions – the other part refused to do anything of the sort until I had read through Ji-chan's letter properly. Yet another part of me wanted to sneak out to go see Yun and Tenten. Even though I couldn't rightly comfort them, we could at least be miserable together.
Rolling up the scroll and tying it off properly, I placed it in my drawer right next to the Senju Suiton scrolls I was practicing with. I just needed to get something to drink and I could call it a night.
I had just barely touched my door to slide it open when, "Look, brat. I understand that this morning was a very unfortunate accident. I'll even grant that Ai hit you hard enough for me to not have to worry about this." Ka-san was in protector mode again. I smiled – she was never going to change, and I liked it that way.
"I give you my word, Ba... Tsunade-sama. I could never take advantage of Ai." I couldn't stop myself from blushing at the sincerity in his voice. What. The. Fuck. I practically had to slap myself to come back to my senses!
I was soooooo not developing a crush on Naruto-nii! "Your word means the world with others, brat. But when it comes to my baby... words won't cut it."
"Then don't take my word for it! Throw whatever you want at me, and I will show you again and again that Ai is too precious-" My eyes went wide, my brain stopped working entirely. Was he about to... "for any guy to ever do that to. So long as I can help it, no guy is ever going to take advantage of my Imouto-chan, 'ttebayo!"
My heart was throbbing in my chest, my breathing shallow. Somehow I felt lightheaded, so I leaned against the wall for support. But most notable of all... was this tingling in the pit of my stomach. It was hard to describe beyond a warm tingly sensation. But it made me feel... different.
It seemed so familiar somehow. Like spinning around really fast, then laying in the sun all afternoon.
Too. Fucking. Weird. "I'll believe it when I see it, brat. Why should I believe that you are any better than Sasuke? As far as I'm concerned no boy will ever be good enough for my baby girl."
"Sasuke-teme? What does he want with Ai?" His voice had an edge that matched Ka-san's. He was going to be just as protective, I could tell.
"He's been trying to play her against me, using any trick he comes up with to get her upset with me. I don't trust him." So that's what really happened. Or did she know that I could hear her and is therefore taking advantage of that? It was possible. It didn't matter, I didn't trust Sasuke anyway.
"Teme!" Nii-san sounded pissed. You know what... that drink could wait... this day needed to end. Good night.
8-8
Sunday. The day of the sun. You'd think that would mean that my day would either be illuminated, or at least not as morbid. Yun came by just after breakfast, her eyes puffy from crying. Ji-chan had passed on.
Not surprisingly he had already made all the arrangements for his own funeral – that was just the type of man he was. The wake would be held later that afternoon, with the cremation being held the following day.
"Yun-chan... I'm... I..." I tried not to cry. Audibly crying for the deceased went against the Buddhist teachings that everyone here tried to live by – nonviolence being the most obvious teaching most couldn't or wouldn't observe.
"Tenten informed the clan that you were given Tenshi, the final blade. Everyone wants you to bring it to the wake, but please not with the umbrella." She controlled her voice very carefully, but I heard it cracking in places. Her eyes were also shining from unshed tears.
I nodded, understanding why a bright and cheery umbrella would be unwelcome in a time of mourning. "Five o'clock?" Four o'clock was not a good time to plan anything – four was per definition not a number to use on purpose. Four was sometimes pronounced as 'shi', which could also be taken to mean 'death'. Superstitions, yes. But part of the thought process none the less. And the worst time to argue over the validity of any superstition was right after the passing of a loved one.
She nodded, already excusing herself. I knew it was a breach of etiquette, but I hugged her before she got out of reach. Normally you don't touch people, some people don't mind being touched by friends and touching a stranger was only tolerated from the very young and the very old. So hugging was even more of a taboo to most. I didn't understand why, hugs were the best medicine for a broken heart. "I'm going to miss him too." I whispered in her ear. She was crying before she had a hope of rebuilding the dam that held back her tears. She didn't make a single sound though – the theory being that the sound of crying distracts the departing soul, causing them to lose their way to the afterlife.
I didn't reprimand her, I didn't soothe her. I just dropped to my knees with her, letting her cry as long as she needed to.
Footsteps were coming up behind me, soft, but there. I turned slightly, trying not to disturb Yun in her grief. Sandaime-sama and Kosuke were looking at us – understanding and compassion radiating off them.
The message on Sandaime's face was clear: we need to talk. I mouthed five minutes to him, and they left – heading to the back porch. "Yun, are you alright?" Only start a dialog with the mourner if you need to hurry things along... I hated having to rush though.
8-8
I probably should change my top, but thankfully it was my training outfit so it was used to worse. Deciding 'to hell with it', I headed to the meeting that I really didn't want to attend. "Ai-chan, I just spoke with your mother." Yup, if he started off with that it'll be all downhill.
"Before you go any further, Sandaime-sama. I would like you to indulge a foreigner who has no clue what the fuck it going on with all this." Fuck this 'floating in the stream' bullshit. Too much is happening simply because I was allowing it. I crossed my arms showing I meant business.
He smiled at me, that same grandfatherly smile he usually wore. "Ai, there is little I can tell you, because there is little known about this... It's the first time we've done it."
"This is going to give me a migraine, isn't it." I intoned. There was a long complex explanation about altering the timeline coming – which no one thought to fucking ask me about in advance. I could just fucking feel it.
"A little birdie told us about the potential in four of the six that were chosen today." That would be Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Konohamaru without a doubt. I knew almost nothing about Hanabi before arriving here. Hell, I knew next to nothing about anyone else, but I knew the basics – sort of...
"Hiruzen, please just tell me what my presence fucked up so we can get to the part where I go wide eyed and swear in tongues you probably wouldn't understand." Kosuke's smile waned – either he didn't understand anything about me, or he simply didn't understand the switch that just took place. Or he wasn't used to people talking like that to Sandaime-sama without reprisal – which couldn't be entirely truthful, seeing that Naruto could do worse before having breakfast in the morning.
"Smash a rock, and the pebbles assemble elsewhere." There was guilt in his gaze. What did that mean? Smash a rock...
Something went wrong. The information I had was enough to find most if not all the Akatsuki main players. Things could have easily gone wrong with any one of those. Then there was 'Tobi', whoever the fuck he was. Surely they would have known his weaknesses through my memories, right?
Smash a rock, and the pebbles assemble elsewhere... "Solve one problem, and the following one will follow?" I wondered.
"Very good." Both smiled at me.
"That could mean anythin-"
"Suna never fought us in the invasion, the only one that took any real casualties was Oto." He offered. Fuck. That was not good!
"What the fuck is wrong with you! How many people got pissed off at that?" A strong alliance being formed with two of the great five villages! And the Chaji included dignitaries from the Land of Fire AND the Land of Wind. That is a political statement if nothing else... one that others would all too easily take as a threat!
"Just Iwa. They seem to hate Sand as much as they hate us." He explained.
"But they won't be dumb enough to start a war with us without backup..." As the words left my mouth... realization hit me like a fucking freight train. "They're starting to rally an army to make their move. And with Suna so heavily in our debt, that means possibly Kumo and Kiri. Kiri being far less likely due to their numbers still recovering from the Bloodline Purge..."
He nodded gravely. Kumo was currently the top dog of the great five. Their numbers weren't declining, and they churned out the same quality shinobi they always had.
"What's more, we have done our best to counter some of the more... pertinent matters brought to our attention." I glared at him.
"I didn't just hear that. Tell me I didn't just hear that." The look on his face was... not comforting. "And no one thought to cross reference plausible alternates?"
"Unfortunately, those that knew regarded it as a blessing from Kami-sama and didn't argue with plausibility." I rubbed the bridge of my nose. Was I the only one that ever thought about this shit? No, the Nara would too.
"Okay... look. Give it to me straight. Is a plausible future where the five great nations fight side by side, better than the now probable future of that same war breaking out with no common enemy?" He sighed. "You're fucking kidding me... you didn't even make the fucking call... Hiruzen, you just lost most of my respect, and doomed the world to another of those wars with your-"
"..." No... no... please, no...
"There's more?" I was right, I could feel that migraine coming in full force.
"We... need you to do... something..." I just glared at him. I knew from his hesitation that I wasn't going to like this. "..." He whispered something into my ear.
"..." I heard every word he said, but how the fuck do you react to that? I didn't have a fucking clue. "..." Silence wasn't the best option though.
"We don't need an answer right away, but please think about it."
"..." Real smooth, Ai. Real smooth. Now stop fucking blushing!
8-8
This... sucked. Right? I mean... I should've been be pissed. I had flipped out on Ka-san of all people over a date with Sasuke... so this should have upset me. Right? Right?
So why was I blushing like a fucking schoolgirl? What was wrong with me?
"The only way to prevent Kumo from going to war against us, which will ultimately lead to the Fourth Great Shinobi War, is an arranged marriage. It's the exact reason Kaminari Jei was sent here... to pick his bride."
Sandaime's words... they haunted me. Not so much that first part as-
"Jei-kun came to Tsunade yesterday, requesting the right to court you. Specifically saying that so far you were the most likely to be selected."
What was I supposed to feel? Honoured? Pissed? I just lay out my Mofuku Kimono, letting that thought simmer for a bit. I had lain out the three layers of the kimono separately, so that it could air out a little, then I headed down to the furo.
I eventually realized that I had washed up a little better than I usually did – more like I realized that I already washed certain spots several times. Too much on my plate at once. Sandaime-sama and Kosuke were accompanying me to the wake. Or was I accompanying them? Then there was a training that no one was explaining the reasoning of (yes I noticed that Sandaime dodged that bullet quite nicely). And now... Jei...?
I... had no idea how to react to that. Well, at least I was not being forced into a marriage directly. That was something. Still, I was under the impression that it could easily come to that. He was to select his bride after all.
One foot in front the other was the best way forward, so I decided to go with that. Luckily no one expected me to be a ray of sunshine, that helped. So I donned my attire, removed every trace of makeup and left my earrings out. I had a single pair of black tabi that went with the outfit, and a pair of zori. The reasoning behind it was that so much negative emotion was present at a wake and/or funeral that you must not wear the same clothing for any other reason – funeral clothes were used only at funerals. Still, I was requested to bring Tenshi in its sheath. So much to deal with...
Making my way downstairs, I found Sandaime-sama and Kosuke-san waiting on me – both already dressed for the occasion. To my surprise, Ka-san was there as well.
I hated wakes and funerals, my senses were on a continuous tilt while everyone tried to either put up a brave front, or simply fake their way through the entire event. Few ever felt true grief for the deceased –it was mostly a trained response to feel sad at funerals– but those that did... So much grief in once place. Too much. I wondered how people were at my funeral... at least I didn't have to sit through that one.
Ka-san chose to explain that she was attending because it was a former clan head's funeral. Don't know why, I didn't ask anything.
And unfortunately, Jei was coming along as well. Pregnant women were always encouraged to not attend such functions, so his mom had a bye and his sister was too young to be able to sit quietly though half of whatever this thing entailed...
The fact that Ka-san asked him to help keep an eye on me –something about how I was grieving worse than anticipated– wasn't helping things. Not in the least. I don't grieve, I just come close to the point of drowning in the grief surrounding me! And with the level of grief Yun was exuding... just Yun – not including her cousins, parents, aunts, uncles. This was going to have me messed up for weeks!
On arriving at the Sengo home, I came to realize that this was actually going to be much worse than anticipated. Unfortunately emotions are not barred off by silly things like walls and doors, so I felt the emotion before we even knocked to announce our arrival.
A middle aged woman opened the door, welcoming us silently. It was then that I realized that it was something of a clan quirk for the fairer sex to have their hair in twin buns like Tenten and Yun – not sure why that was so important to notice. Maybe it was my trying to ignore the metaphorical cloud hanging over her.
I hated being able to see... more than others. I dunno what to call it – chakra, auras, emotional plane disturbances... everyone hangs their own tags on things. And the further into that home I moved... the more I hated it.
The things I saw weren't pictures or colours, they were... impressions. It was almost like different temperatures in the air – I felt it radiating off people that were nearby. The more powerful or synchronized the emotion, the greater the affected area would be.
Each person present... their grief seemed greater than the last. Ji-chan was a man that was truly loved and respected.
We were called to witness the first part of the ceremony –or at least the first part we were present for– coffining the body. This was by far the most excruciating of the wake. I couldn't even see what was going on, because every time something happened a new waved of emotion washed over me. It was like being baked and frozen at the same time.
Sadly there are two different forms of grief, both of which are equally potent – though both radiate differently. One of them is passionate – people that cry, shout, scream or are otherwise inclined to react openly fall into this group. Though it is openly contagious –which causes others to feel more clearly and offer the freedom to react the same way– but uses up most of the energy in the physical aspect. As such they affect me little, or not at all.
The other group... they save the energy of motion and pour it into radiating that emotion. Think of it like a battery. If you use the battery for a flashlight (for example), the battery will eventually run out of energy. So when a 'battery tester' like me comes along, there is little for us to sense. But what happens when you just let the battery sit? Or when you collect a hoard of batteries and attach them all to the same tester at the same time?
One of the priests (?) placed a bowl of rice on the alter next to the coffin and 'stabbed' it with a pair of chopsticks, then lit a long stick of incense and placed it in a holder that kept it vertical while it burned. I did my best to focus on them, on the soothing emotion they projected somehow.
"Thank you all for coming. Please, join us outside for one final demonstration, as per the customs of our clan." I didn't know who spoke, but I didn't want to stop focusing on the oasis of calm in the desert of grief surrounding me.
I didn't even argue when someone gently grabbed my hand to lead me somewhere. "First up. Sengo Ichiro, with Hiryu."
Over the course of fifteen minutes, I felt a noticeable drop in the emotion surrounding me. There was still much grief, but it was tolerable. Perhaps people where distracted by the demonstrations done by the Sengo clansmen. I don't know, but I was most grateful.
"And last up: Senju Ai with the final blade, Tenshi." The hand that guided me there, nudged me forward to the centre of everyone's attention.
Tenten stood opposite me, already bowing. "Let's start simple. Can you handle the first katas of the Itou-ryu?" I nodded, mostly to show I heard her. I didn't know what I was capable of at that point, but my expectations were low.
We bowed and our dance began. Though I would later find out that I earned the nickname Kanashigetou – 'Mournful Blade' – that afternoon. Apparently I cried for the duration of the bout.
8-8
That night I found myself in the furo. I don't know how long I was in there, but I had more wrinkles than people would expect at ten times my age.
"So you finally noticed." I turned to find Ka-san gazing at me sadly. I looked at her, clueless as to what she meant. "That you stayed in that tub far longer than you should have."
I shrugged, no point in denying the obvious. I got up, got out the furo and dried myself off – in no mood to talk. "I already informed the Sengos that you will not be attending the funeral tomorrow. They weren't surprised really." I nodded, already pulling up my panties. I kinda liked this pair – it had the symbol for Konoha on the front. Then came my PJs, which was a set Ka-san picked out – way too fluffy and frilly for my tastes. At least it wasn't pink.
Ka-san sat me down in front of her so she could comb my hair for me. That was usually a sign that she wanted to talk. "Sweetie, talk to me." Or be talked to in this case.
I sighed. "I'm usually not very talkative after funerals and the like." Was all I said. I already decided to put off the whole 'Jei thing' for some time in the far future.
"Are you sure?" She stopped combing my hair, trying to gauge my reaction.
"Yeah." I could already tell she either didn't believe me, or didn't want to. She wasn't letting it go so easily. "I'm in no mood for this Jei thing right now. Maybe next week... or next year."
"Baby, there is something you need to know about the... Jei thing." Great. Don't listen. "Because of your status as clan heir, you-"
"It's going to rain tomorrow." I grabbed my bathroom slipper and tossed it in the air. As predicted, it landed on its head. Silly superstition, but it changed the subject.
"Ai th-"
"Ka-san, look. I spent all afternoon swimming in people's grief. I am in no mood to add complications to it." I announced, grabbing the comb out of her hand to do it my damn self. I sighed, feeling her guilt slam into me. I was always less guarded after a 'short circuit' like I had at the wake.
I sighed, feeling worn out. The guilt just went up a notch to an incredible shame. I could hardly blame her, most people were clueless how to deal with me when I got like that.
She mumbled something about my being a sensory type, then shook her head a few times. The emotions rolling off her settled down – they didn't go away entirely, but they were less obvious now.
I sighed again, more content this time. "Thank you... that was getting a bit much." There was a low buzz from her shock, but fairly well controlled. "I know, it's weird. I get that all the time. Sorry, but it is usually only this bad when I get overwhelmed."
"Why are you apologizing, baby? That is an incredible gift." There was a dash of suspicion (yes, that shows up on the emotional spectrum to some extent) and an undertone of anger about her.
I sighed, feeling even more tired. "It doesn't matter." I sighed again. "Can we-"
"Talk about this tomorrow? Yes. Did you want to cuddle up in my bed with me tonight?" She offered, her desire to protect me washing over me.
"Odds of me actually sleeping tonight are slim. I'm probably going to wake up at least once screaming for reasons I doubt I can explain. Why would you do that to yourself?" I spoke truthfully. With my shield down, I was far more susceptible to nightmares. I didn't understand why, but experience taught me well. She cocked an eyebrow at me. "Yes, I know I'm a freak. I've heard it all before."
"Baby, I was wondering why you would think not sleeping in my bed was a good idea if that was true. Why would I think you were a freak?" I was just gathering my energy to heave a sigh, but she stopped me. "You know what, forget I asked. We'll talk about this another day. Right now, I want to finish combing your hair for you, then we can tuck you into bed. No arguing with Ka-san." Wasn't gonna.
8-8
"Aaaaaaaaaiden." A familiar voice drawled. A voice I knew all too well. And one I hoped I would never hear again.
I looked around, seeing nothing but corn stalks. In every direction as far as the eye could see. Corn. And more corn. I didn't even have to look for that run down shack with chipped red paint to know I was on old man Conner's farm. "Aaaaaaaaiden... come home Aaaiden."
There were some crows to the north, and a single swan to the east. 'Home' was to the south, and the west... that was where I always went. West used to be the most romantic direction to me... because that was the setting sun – that stood for sunsets, which was the exact timeframe of my first kiss. I still remember her name too... Sharon.
I went west... I always went west to go meet Sharon. We played in her brother's tree house for a while – wedding, house and doctor were her favourites. "Ai, wanna play house?" Ai? Since when did she call me Ai? "We'll always be best friends, right Ai?" I smiled at her, and we hugged.
"Always." I used to be such a chatterbox, but she always stole the air out of my lungs. I was lucky if I said more than three words with her around.
"You've got to go now, Ai." She put her hand up, open palm facing me and fingers spread apart. This was our special greeting, and farewell. I placed my hand against hers, letting our fingers link together. "Your hand..." My eyes wander to our hands, seeing two girl hands together.
The next thing I knew I was walking up the slight incline in the road to... where I used to live. I barely got through the front door before I heard my father's pickup truck skidding off down the road. I looked through the window only to see a cloud of dust. I made my way into the kitchen. "Momma, what's going on? Where's daddy going?"
She looked at me, tears in her eyes. "You're father doesn't love us anymore." My heart shattered. "It's because Ai was such a rude girl. You drove him away!" She rushed me, grabbing me by the skin of my neck – essentially pinching my air pipe to get a better grip. Her nails dug deep into my skin, drawing blood.
"Momma! Stop it! I'll be good, I swear!" I cried –I think– but it fell on deaf ears. It always did. "I'll be a good girl! Anything you want!"
"You should've thought of that before." Her voice was so cold. So distant. I was dragged out into the hall, then through the back door. There was an old cistern that had too many holes to hold any water. The only thing visible was a circular hole surrounded by dirt. And literally, that was all I could see – inside the old cistern was pitch black.
"This is your punishment for being such a bad girl." I was shoved and fell through the hole, hitting the side of my head on the edge of the entrance.
And there I found myself... again. I was too short to reach the top no matter how high I jumped. My arms and legs were too short to try climbing out any other way. I sat in the dark. Sat and waited. What else could I do? I could hear the bugs around me crawling around, but I was too used to them to let that bother me.
"For being a bad girl?" Did I not catch enough birds the day before? I even remember gutting them, de-feathering them and putting the extras in the freezer in those plastic bags like she told me. Did that make me bad? Did I not close the bag properly? What did I do? Why am I a bad girl?
"Maybe I am bad..." Momma knows best, doesn't she? Maybe not waking up tomorrow would make her happy?
Just then something crawled up my leg. I didn't mind, it wasn't any worse than what I was used to down here. Maybe bad little girls deserved to be thrown into pits just like this one? Maybe-
"Owwwww!" Something bit me. At first it was just annoying. Then it itched. I scratched the spot over and over, but the itch only got worse. And worse. Then the pain started.
It was only a little at first. But every time I scratched, the pain spread a little more. It started just under my left knee, going down into my foot. Then into my toes. Then it started travelling back, feeling twice as bad in some places. Then it was in my thigh. Then it spread into my belly, in my chest. My lungs were on fire. I could barely breathe. Then it went into my arms in my elbows, my hands and my fingers.
Slowly, the fiery pain filled me up. Then it flowed further up, into my neck, into my face... even my hair was on fire with pain. Was this what I deserved for being a bad girl?
Did I deserve this? I didn't know. I just know it hurt. It hurt so bad. And it was only getting worse. And worse.
So I did what anyone would do... I screamed. "AAAAAAH! DAAAAAAAAAADDY!"
8-8
"AAAAAAAADDY!" I shot up, finding myself in the dark. My breathing was ragged, sweat dripping from every inch of my body.
"Ai...? What happened?" I heard someone near me. I didn't know where I was, I didn't know what was going on! All I knew was that I itched, and every inch of my body burned! "Ai, baby, are you okay?"
"It... burns!" I managed. It was a maddening pain – I didn't understand anything, I didn't know anything. That pain filled my world, crowding everything out. I honestly don't know how I felt so calm. There was just something in the air...
"Hold still." Something was changing in the air. I could feel my energies swirling. Slowly... every so slowly... the pain subsided. "Baby, are you alright?" Her voice was soothing, but at the same time I could sense her concern.
"Ka...san..." I latched onto her, refusing to let her go.
"It's alright, sweetie." She smoothed my hair, her hands still giving a faint green glow. "It's alright, Ka-san's here. Ka-san's right here."
With the pain gone, my ability to think returned. Things weren't adding up. I was never this calm when I got bad dreams like this. I certainly wasn't this collected. Sure I screamed, but that was because of the dream itself. This didn't make sense. "Shhhh, shhh, shhh, shhhh." Ka-san was rocking me back and forth, shushing my fears, humming a lullaby I didn't recognize. She kissed me over and over again, telling me not to worry.
But what stuck out most... was her smell. Spring flowers. Thinking back, I was smelling her throughout the entire dream. I must have snuggled up to her, seeking comfort. And what a comfort she was! I wasn't in a panic. I wasn't hyperventilating. I wasn't past freaking out, or trying to bash my head in a door to make the pain stop – which actually happened the last time I had a night like this.
Pain and fear do strange things to people. Hunger too, but not nearly as bad. Fuck those psychology classes, life has taught me more than a textbook ever could.
"What happened?" Ka-san eventually asked. "I know you had a bad dream, but why did you suddenly get a fever?"
I had a fever? "I dunno." I've been told I had a lot of different symptoms during these episodes... but a fever is new. I checked my leg. "I'm not bleeding this time at least..."
"Why would you..." The room was dark enough for me to not make out her expression, but I knew she was worried.
"A stigma that comes back to haunt me."
"Why would you-"
"Medically speaking a stigma is a place or point in the skin that bleeds during certain mental states. It is also quite common for this to happen internally, with ulcers for example." She's just gazing at me, probably already figuring out that this was just the way I coped with certain things. I spoke of my dream... and its real world counterpart. Which somehow made things less scary, especially these days. Eventually reaching to the end of the dream, I continued to the memories that I clearly recalled that were revealed after.
"... I was bitten by three different centipedes. One on my left leg, under my knee. Another bit my on my back right between my shoulder blades. The final one... got me between the eyebrows." That wasn't fun at all. "One of the neighbours found me unconscious a few hours later and rushed me to the hospital. Apparently I was still screaming long after I passed out."
She just listened. Neither interrupting, nor reacting much. She might have fallen asleep to be honest, but it somehow felt good to just get it all off my chest. Stupid female urge to talk about every fucking thing in the world. "When I came to I was in the fucking morgue. They'd pronounced me dead, saying that they gave up a half hour after my heart stopped beating." That was a lot of fun, especially since they asked me how I ended up in that damn cistern in the first place. "Since then every time I get really stressed out, I get a stigma episode and bleed from one of the locations I got bitten."
"What about irregular bowel movements, trouble breathing, or swelling during these... episodes." She asked, obviously letting her inner medic take the reins.
"Bowel movements are pretty common, but not the others." Somehow approaching these things like it was about a patient was a lot easier, something that Ka-san likes to take full advantage of.
"So we are actually talking about a recurring anaphylactic shock, with additional symptoms of spontaneous stigma in extreme cases. Emotional relation perhaps?" Anaphylactic shock? That makes sense. Basically that would mean swelling, a rash, diarrhoea, vomiting, dilation of veins in the brain which can cause headaches, feelings of anxiety or 'impending doom', problems breathing, an irregular heartbeat or lack of heartbeat altogether. Trouble breathing, muscles swelling, skin turning blue due to lack of oxygen, hives, flushing... usually there are two or more symptoms before anyone would actually be diagnose with anaphylactic shock. It doesn't mean it will kill you, mostly it is just a severe annoyance – but it can.
"Emotional, without a doubt. It seemed to be closely related to nervousness and certain facets of fear." I thought a little longer. "But what I don't understand is why I am so calm. I'm usually freaking out during and after these episodes."
She just smiled at me, obviously knowing the answer but she wanted me to figure it out for myself. "Don't worry about it baby. Let's just go back to sleep." She lay on her back, laying my head on her belly. I could hear her heartbeat, steady and strong. I was asleep before I could even hope to resist.
8-8
"So you think you're so important, huh?" My older brother asked. "Little cry-baby Ai thinks she's so big?" He was only a year older than me, but his attitude would make you think he was the oldest.
A few inches taller, but everything else about him was exactly identical with how I used to look. "I..."
"You should know that since papa left, I'm in charge now!" He declared. I was scared. How could I not be, I've been home from the hospital less than a day, but I was already back in his clutches. I knew that a hurricane was on the way, and that we had to get inside... the trouble was that I went inside the wrong house.
Our old house needed repairs from the previous hurricane, but there was no time with the busy hurricane season. So we moved into the guest house – technically the barn, but who keeps track. I was trying to find shelter in the basement of the house though, which is where I was found. Of course that isn't what they had agreed to, but I wasn't home to know that... now was I. All I knew was that there were bottles of water and a basket with food in the room I was laying down in...
"You know that I could beat you to death and no one would be able to hear you scream, right?" He was already loosening his belt, a weird glint in his eyes. "No, I guess you wouldn't. You never did know what was best for you." The first hit landed on my back.
"Ahhhhhh-wwwwwwwwww! Stop it! I'll be good!" All I felt was another two cracks of his belt landing on my back and legs. My world exploded into pain! I started panicking, not knowing what to do! The doctor made me promise to be good, but obviously I couldn't. I was simply no good, no matter what I did.
"Stop what? Stop telling you what you are?" Another crack resounded in the room, and I screamed louder! "You!" CRACK! "Un-" CRACK! "grate-" CRACK! "ful!" CRACK! "BITCH!"
He hit me, and hit me, so fast it took my brain a second to register all the pain... "YAAAAAA!"
8-8
"YAAAAA!" I jumped up, tears blurring my vision. I heard something moving nearby, but I didn't know what. It had to be my brother coming to hit me again! I didn't want him to hit me!
"Stop it! I'll be good. I swear!" I back peddled, falling off of the bed onto the cold, hard floor. I didn't care, the person was coming closer. And closer!
I could barely breathe. I couldn't see. My world became the sounds of footsteps coming closer... and closer! My heart throbbed in my chest, threatening to break something, I felt like I was going to throw up any second! Something warm was dripping down my face, and my back. I didn't even know what it was, but the smell of blood hung heavy in the air! I could almost taste the Grim Reaper's scythe hovering inches from my face!
"Stay away from me. I'll scream! I swear by all that is holy, I'll scream so loud I'll make us both deaf!" I warned, but that feeling persisted. I felt, more than heard another footstep coming closer.
I lost my fucking mind! "!" I kept moving away from whatever was coming at me, screaming louder every second! I kept calling for my daddy! Daddy was the only one that ever protected me! That's why they sent him away! It wasn't that he didn't love me! No, they made him leave!
Hands grabbed me, trying to take me. I fought back as hard as I could! I punched and kicked and bit, and... anything I could think of! They wouldn't take me! No, I just had to hold out until daddy came to get me! Daddy would save me, he always did...
"AI-SAMA, CALM. DOWN!" Someone shouted, but I wasn't buying it! No way, no how! No one was getting near me! NO ONE!
This time two pairs of hands grabbed both my hands and feet, pulling me straight painfully. "NOOOO! DON'T HIT ME AGAAAAAAAIN!" I tried to kick them off, I tried biting them, flailing my arms as wildly as I could!
"Kami-sama, she's bleeding! Go call Tsunade-sama! NOW!" One voice instructed. I didn't understand what was going on! Why were they hurting me? What did I do? Was I so bad that they were going to kill me this time?
Footsteps could be heard moving away from me. I tried fighting them off again, but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough. They were going to kill me because I was a bad girl! Why? What did I do? Why was I so bad? "Please, just don't hurt me anymore! I'll be good! I swear!" I pleaded. But they wouldn't listen! Their hands kept me where I was, refusing to let me go! They grabbed me so hard that I thought they would break me at any moment. I was so scared... I didn't know what to do...
Daddy... where are you?
"What's going on here?" A stern voice came.
"We don't know, we just-"
"Let her go. Now!" I flinched at the tone. This wasn't my daddy. He wouldn't shout at me like that. No, only momma would shout at me. And momma was never as kind as my brothers or sister...
The hands let me go, and I clambered back immediately. Instinctively I knew that if this person touched me, I was as good as dead. "It's alright, baby. Ka-san won't hurt you." The voice soothed. I didn't believe her. Momma always hurts me! Even when she didn't hit me, she would still hurt me with her words. She would rip my heart in two! Which was even more painful...
"Please... just stay back! I swear I'll be good! I'll be a good girl! I SWEAR!" The footsteps stopped.
"Sweetie, it's alright. You're already a good girl." Momma said that a lot too. Right before she told me to come to her, that she wasn't mad. Then she would hug me, only to tell me how she wished she had started the pill sooner – it would have prevented her last pregnancy.
Before I could even react, a pair of arms pulled me into a hug. My head was buried between two of the biggest tits the world had ever seen. I didn't even have the chance to fight back, before this feeling came over me.
It wasn't calming, simply because 'calm' wasn't strong enough a word. It literally robbed me of my pain. It took my fears out back and beat it to death!
The only thing that mattered was that scent... spring flowers. I knew that scent so well somehow. I didn't understand it, but I didn't question it either. Taking deep breaths for the first time, I let the fragrance swim around in my lungs... that soothed me.
"Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh." Tears started flowing again, but this time it wasn't from fear. "It's alright, baby. Ka-san's here. Ka-san's here." I was being rocked back and forth, and the soft shushing sound kept eroding what was left of my fear. Until finally there was nothing left. The pain was gone, the fear was gone. All that was left was that scent. I loved that scent above all else. Every time something tried pushing me back, I would snuggle deeper. I just wanted to lay there a little longer – where I was safe. I didn't know who this woman was... but she would protect me. I don't know why, I didn't know her from Adam... but I knew she would somehow make it alright.
8-8
"Ai-sama, are you alright now?" Inaho asked, concern evident in her voice. Everyone's been asking me that constantly – it was getting on my nerves.
"No. I'm not alright." I intoned. Hey, at least I was being honest. I snuggled a little deeper into Ka-san's hug, refusing to let her out of my grip.
"Don't forget, sweetie, you still have to go to school. I expect you back here by no later than four o'clock though – the Chaji is tonight and Shizune is going to be helping you get ready." Ka-san said. It was still weird for me – my brain was used to hearing the Japanese, but I still translated most of it into English to understand what the hell was going on. I still couldn't actually think in Japanese. A lot of it wasn't barely translatable, but most of it was simply interpreted.
It didn't matter, I could always just snuggle a little closer to Ka-san and forget it was a problem to begin with. And I intended to do just that.
Even though she was sitting seiza, she didn't complain about me sitting in her lap with my arms around her waist and my head snuggled in her cleavage. Hell, she was even feeding me like I was her baby (rice and curry tofu, not breast milk you perverts). And I loved her all the more for it! Anytime someone offered to take me so that Ka-san could relax and enjoy her breakfast, she would just smile and offer for them to try.
Needless to say, no one was successful. Nee-san and Nii-san came close a few times, but they only ever managed to feed me – no one calmed me down like Ka-san. I think Ka-san enjoyed that, by the way.
8-8
I made it home by three-forty. Which I personally find impressive since it's a twenty minute walk and we got out late. Don't ask me how the hell I managed. I don't know.
The second I entered the front door Inaho welcomed me, eying me wearily. "Welcome home, Ai-sama." She bowed reverently – damn near level with the floor.
"Inaho-san." I matched her bow. "I am deeply sorry for this morning." She smiled nervously at me, welcoming me once again. It kinda sounded like, 'Won't you please come in.', but maybe it was something else too.
Making my way up to my room, I noticed that Nii-san was already there waiting on me. He clearly had something to say. "Nii-san, how was your day?" I asked, closing the door behind me. If my guess was correct, then he had something private to talk about.
"I'm going to be leaving soon. With Jiraiya." His eyes were haunted, like there was so much he needed to do before leaving. "Tsunade-sama arranged for the six of us to go on separate training missions as a smoke screen for me to disappear with no one noticing."
Well, that made sense – especially since I didn't understand the reasoning beyond that. "For two years, more or less. Right?" He nodded gravely.
There was dark cloud hanging over him, something major going through his mind. "Yeah. I'm leaving right after the Chaji tonight." I figured he would. With every dignitary leaving at the same time, it would be nearly impossible to track where they were going. Somehow that just seemed like Jiraiya's style.
"Konoha's going to be boring without you here." I sat on my chair, seeing as he claimed the bed. Both of us sitting on the bed was inviting something I really didn't want to risk.
We were both silent for a bit. I decided it better to let him collect his thoughts – he obviously needed a few moments for that. "I'm going to be sending letters to you while I'm gone. I want to keep in contact with my little sister, you know."
"With Gamakichi or Gamatatsu?" I smiled when his eyes bugged out a bit. He didn't expect me to know about them. "Make sure you ask them about the other toads, you need to get familiar with all of them. And ask them about their battle styles and elemental affinities – everything is important."
He nodded, a little smile on his face. "You really are too smart for your own good, but thanks."
"We all have our own personal charms." I shrugged, smiling warmly at him. Who would have thought that I could have earned a place in his heart this quick, or him in mine...
He sobered up quickly though. "I have a favour to ask. I need you to keep an eye on someone while I'm gone." That hollow look in his eyes was back. Whoever it was... they were precious to him.
"Hinata and Konohamaru. Got it." I winked. He blushed, not denying either claim. "I was planning on doing just that anyway." I winked again, smiling from ear to ear.
Just then Shizune knocked and entered. That was Naruto's cue to poof out, showing that I was talking to a shadow clone the whole time. I laughed – mostly out of embarrassment, seeing as I hadn't expected anything like that. Nee-san tried to hide a knowing smile, but was only partly successful. My guess was that she was listening before she came in.
"Let's get this show on the road, Nee-san. Those important nobodies won't wait!" What? I'm only a gibbering mess when I wake up, not after a day of acting like nothing was wrong with me in the first place!
8-8
Suited up in my Furisode, Nidaime-sama's necklace and earrings (?) and Tenshi carefully tucked into my right sleeve –yes, my two belt pouches were hidden under my obi– I was ready to crash the party! A shame that none of the guests had arrived as yet.
Well, none of the 'important' ones at least. Kouji and Daichi were already the first to arrive in their finest kimonos, Jei and the Hyuugas hot on their heels. We were expecting more than five hundred guests in total – one hell of a party if you ask me.
Because it was far grander than Ka-san first imagined, she had arranged for the Chaji to be held in Kikyo Castle. Frankly, I think she was just saying that and had planned to hold it there the whole time. She's not one to 'overlook' details like that... usually.
Anyway, it didn't matter. Once the formal part of the Chaji was done, Ka-san promised that I could hold my own little after party in the courtyard with my friends. That way she could discuss all the boring shit I had no use in hearing – I like it better that way. Well over fifty loyal Konoha kunoichi were hired to play waitress, so that security would still be pretty damn tight and no one would notice much of it.
It was stifling, all of it. Properly observing every tradition, making sure to be as sweet as kilo of sugar added to an espresso, always being courteous to every guest, addressing everyone as 'sama' or 'dono'. It was tedious and fucking pointless.
Watching the Fire Daimyo, the Wind Daimyo, the Kazekage and Ka-san exchanging polite banter that was so neutral that they probably had never once in their lives been in the same room (on good terms). The only thing I can claim to say I was grateful for was Ka-san's announcement: "Alright, Ai-chan. You can take your friends into the courtyard now. Please entertain them like a proper young lady." I hugged her, thanking her over and over again. But something caught my eye: Gaara. He and his siblings were going to be stuck with all that polite bullshit while I had my way out.
"Okaa-sama, would it be alright if I asked Kazekage-dono for his children to join us?" I begged with my eyes, wondering if I could get away with it. I had already made an agreement with Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji for them to opt out with me, so why not extend the invitation to another trio?
"I see no problem with asking." She smiled warmly.
I took my time making my way over to the Yondaime Kazekage. "Kazekage-dono, might I beg your indulgence?"
He was wearing his Kage robes, with his face completely covered. "That depends on what you wish to ask." He replied neutrally. I actually expected that, so I didn't react.
"Okaa-sama has allowed for me to hold my own informal tea ceremony in the courtyard so that we won't become a bother to our guests. Would it be alright if Temari, Kankuro and Gaara joined us?" His cold, calculating eyes settled on me. I don't know what he was thinking, but he didn't exactly come off as a warm and friendly person. Then again, neither did Ka-san when she was in Hokage mode. "I would be most welcoming of any guards you wish to send with them, if you desire."
He took a long moment to ponder that. "Very well." He turned to the jounin with a turban like thing on his head, covering the left side of his face. "Baki will escort them. I shall send word when we are to leave."
That marked the beginning of a real party! The Konoha Twelve were all there, having snuck away from the other party, or just showing up on time for ours. As well, Hanabi, Konohamaru, Kouji, Daichi, Jei, Yun, Choco, Futaba, and quite a few others. Including Naho – the Fire Daimyo's niece. She seemed to be quite taken with Sasuke for some reason. And she can have him too! (^-^)
There were five geisha playing music and dancing for us, food galore –enough for Chouji to make it his personal mission to try each dish– and enough seating for everyone to be comfortable.
I got into an interesting talk with one of the geisha and Temari – they were already talking about fans as a weapon and wanted a third party opinion.
Everyone was conspiring to get Naruto and Hinata to sit together – and I actually had nothing to do with it this time! What I did have something to do with, was sneaking Nii-san a scroll telling him to give it to her.
Neither of them knew it, but I had a picture taken of the two of them during one of our lunches. That was sealed in a fuuin within the scroll, along with a letter from 'Naruto' about how he felt about her. And he trusted me blindly, giving it to her with a flourish. He was going to kill me when he found out what was in it! It'd be worth it though.
There was plenty of dancing going on – Hanabi found it the funniest thing in the world to see me trying to dance in my geta. There was plenty of laughter going around too. Like when Naruto whispered something into Jei's ear, making his blush. Do you know how hotly he had to blush for me to notice it in the dim lighting? With his dark complexion to boot! Well, everyone proclaimed it was Naruto telling the boy to keep an eye on me for him. I'm guessing he was getting me back in advance for whatever I had him give Hinata.
What can I say, we had fun. A shame it would be the last time for a LONG time that we would be able to do something like this... Still, I looked forward to it. I'll think of a way to get the Sand Trio to come up to Konoha when Naruto-nii gets back.
"By the way, Kankuro... Temari wouldn't happen to be the one that gave you the 'birds and the bees talk', would she?" I asked, Naruto and Hanabi already laughing.
"Yeah, why?" His eyebrow was slightly raised, not seeing what that had to do with anything.
Never answer a question I ask out of blind faith. "Nothing important. Something had to explain why you play with dolls and wear makeup in public."
8-8
End Chapter 9
A/N: Well, that was fun! Poor Kankuro. By the way, in case anyone missed it from last chapter, the joke about Ai getting Naruto hooked on Ninja Ramen Rangers was from a review. I not only get inspired by reviewers, but I get some really nice material from you too! Good going shirokuromokona, kudos to you!
As well, I am pretty sure I covered this already, but I will make a point of mentioning this here. One reviewer pointed out that this writing style is a bit angsty. I both understand and agree with that point, but it is real. Even if you only view this as a vague, made up character... if you consider what has been revealed of Ai thus far, I'm sure it makes perfect sense why she reacts the way she reacts.
Another fact pointed out to me is that this story started coming over as a manual for child rearing. Also at least partly true. Ai's thought pattern kinda demands that style of writing. If you are interested in the Psych Talk that underlines the reasoning in this... well, basically she is so used to defending and defining what she does and believes that she has her thoughts already plotted out for when (not if) someone asks. It's a defence mechanism, really. Don't believe me? That's fine. I'm not here to convince anyone that I'm right ;)
