"I hate doing this." Percy mumbled, mainly to himself as he placed a decoration on the tree and sighing defeatedly as it fell to the ground.
Annabeth knelt down and picked it up with an uncomfortable groan. Maybe if she could just lean forward one extra inch she'd be able to catch this knot in her back and she would feel so much better. Not that it would ever be able to happen - not yet that is; not when she looked round enough to be hung on the Christmas tree herself.
"I don't understand why. You love Christmas, right?"
He nodded. He had since he had met her. She made the air seem a little less heavy, at least.
"Yeah. Just... bad memories, you know? There were always arguments when we put the tree up and now I know what he was like, I mean, I know what must have happened now and I just..." He shook his head. He didn't like thinking about it. He hated talking about it.
Gabe was a long, long time ago now, but not long enough for Percy to have forgotten anything. It wasn't even like Percy to even mention him - it was a dark time in his past and Annabeth figured maybe some things were better left unsaid. She wasn't even entirely sure what happened, even now. She remembered the change in him after he had gone and that was enough for her to realise that he had completely ruined a large proportion of his life.
"He hit her, didn't he?" She murmured. This was the first time she had even questioned him about it, for a long time, at least.
"... How did you know?"
"Just a guess." She could feel the change in his mood, even after a couple of minutes and she decided for the sake of the plumbing to take a different spin on things. "What you did... I think it was the right thing, you know? He got what he deserved."
"It was for Mom." He said shortly. He sighed. "I mean, I'm just not cool with killing like, actual people, you know? No matter what they've done."
She sat down on the couch, scratching Dora's ear. She was so tired today and she kind of wished she hadn't suggested the Christmas Tree thing at all. It had made Percy edgy too which she never liked because it was so rare. He was one of those people who could see positivity in pretty much anything, hardly anything brought him down and it was horrible to know that something so far into his past was hurting him so much.
"I know you're not. But do you think he would have ever left you alone if he had just gone to prison? I mean, he would have to get out at some point, right? I didn't know him, obviously, but from the little I've heard he sounds like he'd do anything to get what he wanted. Do you think your Mom would be as happy as she is now if he wasn't ..?"
He visibly cringed, imagining what he would have been capable of, how much further he could have gone, how much more he could have ruined his Mother's life.
"Probably not." He sighed, half-heartedly placing the star on top of the tree.
"Good. You didn't do it because you're a malicious prick, you did it because you were protecting your Mom. You've done nothing wrong."
He sat on the floor opposite her, picking at the loose threads of their tatty cushions.
"She's completely scratched the shit out of this couch." He tickled under the cat's chin. He had been extra-spoiling her recently to try to soften the baby blow a little. "We need a new one."
"We'll get one after Christmas at some point." She promised. Not like the damn couch was the first thing on her mind. There was too much going on at the moment and couches weren't exactly a priority. She'd probably keep this one anyway - they bought it years and years ago second-hand from this old woman and it was some kind of stupid metaphorical representation of their life together. They had slept on it on their first night in their very first apartment so she was kind of attached to the thing. They ended up getting very, very drunk. She couldn't remember the rest but she could imagine what happened next. "...Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Did he ever do it to you?"
He sighed and fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. It has horribly uncomfortable to think about things like this. He was just a kid at the time, after all. He grew up with him. He didn't know what was normal and what wasn't. He didn't know what the boundaries were and that scared him. He was about to become a father and he had never really had a decent representation of one as a young kid so he didn't really know how he was going to be at the whole thing. Still, he trusted himself. He would never, ever hurt his baby and goddamn if he ever did he would never be able to forgive himself and would have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life. He wasn't sure he'd be able to live with himself.
"I guess so." He sighed. "Once or twice. Nothing too bad."
"...Percy." She whispered. She was unspeakably hurt - not that she hadn't known, that didn't matter - but hurt that someone could be so completely vile, completely disgusting that they would hurt her Seaweed Brain, when he was just a kid, no less.
He shook his head.
"It was a long time ago, Annabeth." He squeezed her hand. "Don't worry about it. I've been through worse."
"But you were just a kid."
He shrugged.
"Didn't know any different. It hardly ever happened anyway - only when I was dumb enough to wind him up."
"Did you honestly just sit there and try to justify it?"
"Absolutely not...I guess I mean I could have avoided it sometimes, that's all."
Annabeth sighed, leaning back into the cushions. She couldn't believe she had known him all this time, loved him all this time and been completely oblivious to the whole thing. She felt awful. She hated to think of anything like that happening to him, how mean she was when she first met him and he was dealing with that.
"Fucking hell, Percy. I'm so sorry. Gods if he were still alive I would actually kill him."
He laughed a little. If anything, he was glad that someone knew. It hardly bothered him anymore, really, but there were some things that ended up weighing him down when he didn't even realise.
"I can believe that." He pushed himself up onto the couch, dragging the cat onto his lap. "Don't tell my Mom."
"...She doesn't know?" She asked, her voice still an angry whisper.
"Of course not. She doesn't need to, either, please. She'd only feel guilty about it. It wasn't her fault. She was trying to protect me - you get that, right?"
She supposed. She loved Sally with all her heart, she was a Mother to her. It didn't mean she agreed with everything she did, though, particularly letting a dangerous man live with her young son. Obviously the world of monsters was much, much more dangerous, but maybe if she would have just took him to camp it would have been easier for the both of them. She understood why she didn't - Sally Jackson was a proud woman. She wanted to prove she could look after her son herself.
But would she introduce her child into that world so young? She wasn't sure. She didn't grow up very happy either, in camp or not. At least she and Percy would be equipped to protect their child if they should ever need to.
"I won't." She promised. Whether she was right or wrong, Sally Jackson did not deserve any more suffering. She rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her.
"Thanks." He kissed her forehead. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Its just not a nice thought."
Percy sighed. He knew that already.
"I know, but it was like, twenty odd years ago. And it was hardly ever, honestly."
"That makes no difference to me." She sighed, lacing her fingers through his and staring at the dryness of his hands. She had always loved them - they were the only part of him that looked and felt pretty much exactly the same since she had got with him. It was nice to have a little consistency in her life and she wasn't entirely sure what she'd do if they, as pathetic as it was, changed. "I just can't believe we have done this every year and I have been completely oblivious. I'm sorry."
He laughed a little and leant back into the warmth of the cushions, pulling the cat up onto his chest. She purred loudly into his shoulder and he figured that maybe bringing old memories back for himself every Christmas wasn't worth it. This time next year he would have a kid and he couldn't be like this around her. He would have to figure out a way to stop it.
"There's no reason for you to be."
"I know. Its just not fair, is it?"
He shook his head and tickled the cat's chin.
"Nah. But its pointless clinging on to bullshit like that. It just makes me miserable and there is no reason for me to be."
"True." She glared at him meaningfully and he laughed.
"Yes I know. How many times do I have to go on about how grateful I am that you're doing this before I get some kind of mercy?"
"At least twice a day until the thing gets her fat ass into gear."
"Lets hope its tomorrow for both our sakes." He replied, with a quick desperate prayer to Hera. He was going to go crazy if this carried on much longer.
