A/N – Just a bit of pwp to see if I can write anything that isn't work related these days. The characters you know and love aren't mine – but you knew that.

Chapter 9

"I think I am ready for the main course now."

Logan groaned, he wanted nothing more than to sink into her, find that sweet oblivion that was only in her arms. He wrapped his arms around her, gently stroking her back. "Bobcat," he whispered, "I hate what I am about to say, but this is too fast."

He felt her stiffen in his arms, her emotional withdrawal coming just as suddenly, like a slap. He could see it in her eyes, the hard wariness, and the cold calculation. "No, Ronnie, don't do that." He continued the soft rubbing on her back, refusing to let herself physically push off him. Her body softened, but her eyes remained guarded.

"I want, more than anything, to be inside you right now." Logan continued in a soft and even voice, he was not going to rise to the age old bait, of one of them accidently pushing the others buttons and allowing the fight to escalate. "And, later, when we have talked about a few things, I hope you will still let me be right there." His hands dipped lower, caressing her firm ass, before going back up to the safer expanse of her back.

"You made me three promises tonight. I plan on collecting all of them. You just did a little of one, let's try a bit of two. Talk to me Ronnie. I need to know why all my dreams seem to be coming true tonight, before I wake up and this is up in smoke."

Veronica sighed. He saw the hardness leave her eyes, and let her push upwards. She merely settled herself more comfortably across his legs, almost riding him. It was torture on so many levels. He was sure she knew it, and that it was just her way of reminding him that they could be more pleasantly occupied.

"Ten-years ago, do you remember?" Her voice was a soft whisper, her face clouded in remembered sorrow.

Logan remembered. He remembered the morning he had saw her last. He had gotten up early, told her he was going surfing. Actually, he had went to the jewelry store, Logan had paid extra for them to open for him before dawn. He handed the blurry-eyed owner a cup of coffee from Java the Hut. The man had smiled gratefully at him, and brought a small velvet box out from the back safe. Opening it, Logan saw his mother's diamond, which had been his grandmother's set in a new platinum band. It had been in his mother's safety deposit box, safe from his father and the wrath of the PCHers alike. Soon he hoped it would be on Veronica's finger.

He went home, entering quietly to keep from waking her up. But he didn't have to worry, the doors to the back deck were open and Veronica was sitting on a lounge chair, in a hoodie and sleep shorts. She had never looked so beautiful to him, the sunrise glinting in her hair. He almost dropped to his knees right there. He would do anything for her. Then he saw her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy.

Logan did drop, his arms around her in an instant. "Ronnie, baby, what's wrong?"

"She's dead, Logan, dead." Veronica hiccupped as she tried to talk, "This damn town, I didn't even know she was back, and now she is dead. I told her I hated her, but I didn't. I never hated her. Now she is dead, how will she know?" Veronica's tears kept flowing. Logan didn't know what to say, so he just held her, until she stopped crying. Then she was mad, "Jake-Fucking-Kane, that's how I find out, Jake-I-Thought-I-Might-Be-Your-Daddy-Kane called me. She had liver cirrhosis, she had come home for treatment. She went to Jake Kane, he let her keep drinking. He let her drive back to some shitty apartment. She never got there, her car went off the Coronado Bridge."

Veronica was pacing now, "I have to leave this town Logan. I can't be here. I have to leave."

Logan felt the pain fresh in his heart thinking of those words. She had been so hurt, but those words, they tore at every insecurity he had. He didn't hear that it was Neptune she wanted to leave. All he had heard was that she wanted to leave him. He had done, what he did best back then, he lashed out. Using his words, he had driven her away, sent her running to Quantico, and the career that she had almost given up (just the day before she had been filling out law school applications, and consulting him on what towns they could move to together). He couldn't remember more, not without being overwhelmed by his own shame. It had taken him years before he got over his hurt, his anger. Somewhere after boot camp, and before scrubbing out of Seals training, he realized where he went wrong, but he thought it was too late. He knew she was a rising star at the FBI, heard she had a boyfriend. She had moved on, and he did his best to let her go, wanting to be happy for her, wanting her to be happy.

Veronica bent down and kissed him. "Caught up in your head, fly-boy?" She had been watching his eyes, and knew that he was wrapped up in his memories of that day. "I was so hurt that day. So broken. I had lost my mother. Jake Kane had been less than tactful, and then you." Veronica sighed, "Well you, love, were not being particularly helpful. You always knew just which buttons to press to hurt me the worse. I left your apartment, and went home, honestly, I wasn't sure what my plan was at that point. Sure, I was angry, I was devastated. But we had talked about it before, I was done running. I needed to not be in your face, needed not to escalate the situation. Dad had already gone to the office, so I grabbed Back-Up and went running on the beach." Logan reached out and took her hand at the use of the word love, tangling their fingers together.

She rocked back on her heels, her body rubbing softly across him. She kept talking though, "I ran for a few miles, until Back-Up let me know he wasn't going any further. Then I just sat there. Part of me wondered why you weren't there already. I kept thinking you had to know how much I needed you, how you were the best thing about my life. But you didn't come. I cried more. I fell asleep on the sand, Back-Up guarding over me. When I woke up, Clarence Weidman was sitting next to me, rubbing Back-Up's head. He offered his condolences for my loss. Then he offered his help. Before you could say, 'Bob's your uncle,' I was on the Kane's private plane to Virginia. My late admission into Quantico's spring training session arranged. For the next twenty weeks, I had no time to think. 850 hours of intensive training in academics, case exercises, weapons and other operational skills. You never called, you never came for me, so I let the job become my life."

Veronica laid her head down on his chest. Her breathing tickled his skin, he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He felt tears prick his eyes, he had been such a fool. "Veronica…"

"No don't say anything, not yet. Just hold me for a minute. The cuddling is a pretty good part too. I will keep going in a minute."