This is that long and sad story I mentioned in the last chapter. It's a story about what happens after Derek's death, but it is mostly from Zola's perspective. This is what I imagined happened, so it isn't all correct. Definitely AU and definitely very sad. Don't read if you don't like depressing or dead MerDer stories.
Zola sat in the back seat of the car next to her little brother, who had dozed off. She couldn't see her mother's face, only that her hands were clutching the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
She turned and looked out the window instead. She didn't know how long they had been driving for, but it felt like forever. She saw only emptiness when she looked at the road. It was just a very long, lonely cement strip.
If daddy were here, she thought, he would say something funny to make me laugh. Her dad always made her laugh. She forced herself to stop thinking about him. She didn't want it to hurt all over again.
Zola leaned her head against the cold window and closed her eyes. She hoped she would have a good dream if she could ever fall asleep. Deep down, she hoped she would dream of her Dad.
XxXxX
She woke up to the sound of a car door slamming. Through the window, she saw her mother, with tears staining her face and bags under her eyes, walking over to her brother's side of the car. Zola unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door, jumping down onto the damp pavement below her.
Bailey didn't wake up when his mom plucked him from his car seat. He sleepily wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. That was when Zola noticed her mother was still crying. She had millions of questions on her mind but chose not to ask any of them. She knew her Mom didn't like people talking to her when she cried. Unless it was Daddy. He always made her smile.
Zola looked around at the unfamiliar place as her mother grabbed the hastily packed bag from the front seat. The sign on the building they were parked in front of read 'MA's Finest Apartments'. What does MA stand for? And why are we going to an apartment building when we have a house? She really wanted to ask her mother questions, but she knew that she shouldn't.
They walked into the building, which had a really pretty lobby with lots of art and even a fountain. The entire room looked golden in the shimmering light. But it was cold. Zola wanted to go home.
Her mother approached the long counter to the side of the room. She started to talk to the man behind the counter, who was dressed in a suit. Zola wondered why he was dressed so fancily. Maybe it was part of his job.
She tuned out their conversation. It was boring anyway. Instead, her eyes landed on the bag slewn over her mother's shoulder. She remembered watching her mother pack it before they had started driving.
Their car made the familiar crunching noise that signified they were home as it drove up the driveway. Zola stayed silent as their pack of three unloaded from the car. It was just like any other night. Except, tonight was different. Other night, Zola had hope that her Daddy would come home from work soon and see her. But tonight, she didn't. Tonight, her Daddy was dead.
She followed her mother silently as they entered the house. Normally, Zola and her brother would both go straight to sleep after they got home. But she already knew that tonight was not a normal night. Her mother placed Bailey down gently on the couch and then rushed into her bedroom. Zola followed her as quietly as she could, peeking in through the doorway to see what she was doing.
A big bag was sitting on the bed. Her mother was throwing clothes at it in a hurry. She ran into the bathroom and grabbed all three of their toothbrushes, a brand new tube of toothpaste, Bailey's favorite rubber ducky, and something off of the counter that looked like a weird toothbrush with no bristles. She threw everything into the bag on top of the clothes. Zola shrunk back as her mother looked around the room a final time.
The little girl had to stop herself from gasping when her mother climbed up on the bed. She knew she wasn't supposed to stand on the bed. Why was Mommy doing it? Zola watched her mother gently remove the little frame above the bed from the wall and place it in the bag. She knew that frame was important and she wasn't supposed to touch it, but she never knew why. It was just a sticky note.
Then, her Mom grabbed her phone off of the nightstand. She held it up like she was taking a picture of the wall that Zola couldn't see. She knew what was on the wall, though. It was the scribbly picture on the wall. Zola never knew what the picture was supposed to be. She remembered one time her Daddy had told her it was someone's spine. She didn't understand why a picture of a spine was so important, but then again, she didn't understand a lot of things.
Zola jumped out of the way as her Mom grabbed the bag and rushed through the door and into her and Bailey's bedroom. She placed the bag on the floor and threw open the closet. The little girl watched her mother grab a few pairs of everything for each of them and stuff the clothes into the bag as well. She grabbed Zola's favorite dog stuffed animal from her bed and Bailey's favorite bunny from his crib. Then, she zipped the bag up and ran out of the room.
"Zola, we're going to go back out to the car now. We're playing Hide and Seek, okay?" Her mother said, scooping Bailey, who was still sleeping, up in one of her arms and slinging the bag over the other. Zola nodded and rushed over to the door. She knew they weren't actually playing Hide and Seek. In Hide and Seek, you're not allowed to leave the house. But, she listened anyway, because it seemed important to her Mom.
Zola opened the door and waited outside for her Mom, who held up the keys to her car and pressed a button. The car made a clicking noise and Zola knew it was unlocked, so she made her way towards it.
XxXxX
Meredith stood in the doorway for a moment before she closed the door. Was she making the right decision? Would she regret this later? Before she could begin to answer the questions, a wave of calmness washed over her. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. She felt him. All around her, he was there. She smelled his cologne.
"Derek..." Just as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. She felt lonelier than ever. And she closed the door. She didn't bother to lock it.
XxXxX
Her mother's hand on her back broke Zola from her trance. She looked up suddenly and saw that they were walking towards the elevator. Her mom pressed the button to go up and waited silently. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. But her mother didn't budge.
She stared at the elevator until the doors closed again. Her chest jumped up and down shakily and her eyes filled with tears. She steadied herself for a moment and then turned to the large and elegant spiral staircase beside the elevators.
"Stairs are good. We can take the stairs." Zola heard her mother whispering to herself. She wondered why they couldn't take the elevator. Was it dangerous? Maybe her Mommy was just trying to keep them safe.
They walked slowly and silently up the golden stairs until they reached the third floor. Zola walked behind her mother as they made their way down the dimly lit hallway. This was nothing like the extravagant lobby. Finally, they stopped in front of a door with the number 326 on it. Her mother stopped.
The hand that wasn't holding Bailey to her hip reached up and touched the golden numbers, which shined on the dark green door.
"Of course..." Zola heard her whisper. Then, she pulled out the key that the man in the lobby had given her and unlocked the door.
The apartment was a good size. It had a single king bed on one side, a full kitchen, a couch with a TV, and a table with four chairs. A door led into a bathroom with one sink and a bathtub with a showerhead. There was a small closet, which was the perfect size for the few clothes that they had packed.
Zola stepped into the apartment, looking around and taking everything in. The view from the window was of the parking lot, but she could see the stars in the sky clearly. The moon smiled down at her pitifully.
Her mother closed the door behind them and placed both the bag and her little brother down on the bed. He quickly curled into a ball on top of the covers and placed his thumb in his mouth. Zola offered to help her mother unpack.
She took both hers and Bailey's clothes out of the bag and hung them up in the closet neatly. Her mother did the same with her own clothes. She took the little bunny from the bag and wedged it tightly inside of Bailey's warm cocoon.
Zola was instructed to change into her pajamas. She nodded and grabbed the comfortable clothes from their hanger in the closet. She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
When she finished changing and walked back into the main room of the apartment, her mother had completely unpacked the bag. She was surprised to see that the frame with the post-it note had been hung up on the wall above the bed. She assumed there must have been a nail there already for it to hang on.
Her mother took her pajamas along with all of their toothbrushes and toothpaste, Bailey's rubber ducky, and the strange toothbrush into the bathroom and closed the door. Zola slowly and gently pulled the covers back on the bed and scooted her little brother so that he was curled up snugly under them. She moved to extract herself from the bed, but the little boy's fist clenched her shirt tightly.
She eased herself under the covers and wrapped her arms his warm body. He snuggled up against her sleepily and her fingers played with his blonde hair.
"We're going to be okay, Bay-bay. You and me and Mommy are going to be okay." She said softly to him. She was telling herself more than she was telling him.
XxXxX
Meredith sat in the bathroom, having changed into her pajamas long ago but unable to find the strength to face her confused children again. She closed the toilet seat and sat down, taking the long, slim piece of plastic off of the sink.
She held it in her shaking hand and let tears fall down her face. She heard her daughter's soft voice from the other side of the door. We're going to be okay, Bay-bay. You and me and Mommy are going to be okay. Her heart melted inside her chest and she rested her head in her hands, staring at the words written on the end of the stick with watery eyes.
Pregnant.
XxXxX
Zola felt the bed sag behind her as her Mom climbed under the covers, thinking she was asleep. The lights turned off and it was dark. Zola let everything sink in for a moment. Tears filled her eyes and she turned to face her mother, who was staring at her and her brother with watery eyes.
"You're awake." She said shakily. Zola nodded and scooted closer to her mother, who sighed and wrapped her arms around her daughter.
"I'm sorry." She choked suddenly, tears running down her face. Zola looked up at her with innocent eyes.
"For what, Mommy?" She asked softly.
"You and Bailey must be so confused. I haven't told you anything, I just dragged you out here and put you to sleep. I'm sorry." She cried. Zola shook her head.
"It's okay, Mommy. You're sad because Daddy's gone. I'm sad too. It's okay." She said. Her mother pulled her closer.
"I know you have a lot of questions. You're a smart girl. You can ask them now. It's okay." Her mom said. Zola nodded. She tried to think of a question but her mind was blank.
"Where are we?" She asked. Her mother sighed and she knew that was a question she didn't want to answer.
"Somewhere very very far away from home." Was all she said. Zola nodded.
"How long are we staying here?" She asked. Her mother sighed again.
"Zola, do you remember when I had baby Bailey?" She asked. Zola didn't know why she was asking that question. It had nothing to do with her question.
"Yes." She decides to trust that her mother had a point.
"Well, do you remember how my tummy got really big right before he came?" She asked. Zola nodded, rubbing her head against her mother's chest so that she could feel it in the dark.
"Well, I found out tonight that I'm going to have another baby." Zola could hear that her mom was smiling by the way she talked, yet she still felt the shaking of her hands and the unsteadiness in her chest when she breathed.
"Really?" She asked. She felt herself smiling as well. Another baby! Maybe this one would be a little sister for her to have tea parties with. Bailey never liked to have tea parties with her.
"Yes. And we're going to stay here until the baby comes, okay?" Her mother said. Zola nodded again.
"Why couldn't we go on the elevator?" Her curiosity took over her brain. She felt her mom laughing.
"Daddy and I had our first real kiss in an elevator. We had a lot of important moments in an elevator. He asked me to marry him in an elevator." She smiled. Zola was only more confused.
"So... shouldn't the elevator be good?" She asked. Her mother sighed.
"The elevator makes me think of Daddy. It makes me think of how much I miss him. And missing him makes me sad." She explained. Zola nodded.
"Is that why you were sad about the room number?" She asked. Her mom chuckled.
"You pick up on a lot, don't you?" She asked. Zola nodded.
"No, honey. I was sad about the room number because it was 3-2-6. Just like 3-26, like the date. March 26th. That was the day that Daddy died." She said softly. Zola's face fell.
"Oh." Was all she said. They were both silent for a while. Then, Zola asked her next question.
"Why the frame above the bed so important?" She asked.
"That post-it note was our wedding. We sat down and wrote what we wanted to promise each other on it. Then we both signed it, and we were married." Her mom explained.
"But... don't you have to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle and say 'I do' and kiss the bride?" Zola asked. Her mom laughed.
"Traditionally, Yes. But, you don't have to. You can get married just by going to the city hall and signing some papers. That's what we had to do before we could adopt you." She smiled. Zola was silent for a few seconds.
"A post-it is a good idea. You can do it quickly and keep it with you all the time, just like you." Zola said. Her mom nodded.
"It's time to go to sleep now, okay? We can talk more in the morning." She declared. Zola nodded, turning and wrapping her arms around her brother again as her mother took both of them into a bigger hug.
"Mommy?" Zola asked.
"Yes?" Her mother responded.
"I love you." She said, feeling sleep beckoning her.
"I love you too, Zo."
XxXxX
Alex pulled up in the driveway of Meredith's dream house. There were no cars parked outside, which worried him. His footsteps crunched loudly in the darkness as he made his way up the gravel path towards the dark house.
The door was unlocked, which was even more worrying. Someone must have left the house in a hurry to forget to lock the door. He flicked on the lights and immediately, something was different. He couldn't figure out what it was until he inhaled.
The smell.
It always smelled like lavender in their house.
It was gone.
He walked cautiously into the bedroom through the open door and flipped the lights on. The room looked different. Something was off. He noticed Meredith's phone had disappeared from the nightstand. Her closet looked different. He approached it and began to finger through the shirts. Many of them were missing, including her Dartmouth sleep shirt that he didn't understand why she kept. There was a hole in the back of the neck, after all.
On Derek's side, most of the shirts had been cleared out because he was in DC. But Alex noticed the absence of one shirt in particular. Derek's red shirt. Meredith had pulled it out on multiple occasions when she felt especially lonely. Apparently, he had worn it the night he met her.
Alex knew something was wrong. He looked in the bathroom. All of the toothbrushes were gone. The single rubber ducky had disappeared from the bathtub. Had Meredith run away? Had she taken her kids with her?
The kids' room was the same way. Clothes were missing from the closets and the stuffed animals were missing from their beds. He pulled out his phone and called Meredith the same way he had when she hadn't shown up to work the past five days. It rang, and rang, and rang, and then went to voicemail.
He stepped into the living room with anxiety coursing through him and called Derek. It went straight to voicemail without even ringing. Next, he called Maggie, who picked up after a few seconds.
"Karev, why are you calling me? It's 10:30, I was about to go sleep." Her voice asked over the phone.
"I'm at Meredith's house. Her car is gone, some of her clothes are gone, the kids are gone, their toys are gone, Meredith is gone!" He said quickly. Maggie was silent for a moment.
"She's still not answering her phone?" She asked.
"No, and neither is Derek. I want to believe she just went visit him and they've been busy having sex this whole time, but... she would check her phone at least once. And she would've had one of us watch the kids if she planned to do that. And... oh, no." He trailed off when something caught his eye in the bedroom.
"What? What happened, Alex?" Maggie asked.
"The post-it is gone." He said.
"Post-it?" She asked.
"Meredith and Derek got married on a post-it. They wrote their vows on it and signed it and called themselves married for like two years before they actually got married. They've had the post-it hanging above their bed for years and it's gone." He explained quickly. Maggie was silent.
"So... she's gone?" She asked softly. Alex sat down on the couch, stunned.
"She... she's gone."
XxXxX
Days passed. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned to months. Everyone slowly but surely adjusted to life without Meredith and her kids. Alex, Amelia, and Maggie all called her every day for the first few weeks. Slowly, they called less and less until eventually, they would only call her every once in a while when they had a free moment.
Zola and Bailey adjusted to the spontaneous change in their life surprisingly quickly. Bailey was too young to even think anything of it and Zola did her best to make herself as comfortable as possible for her mother's sake. She did miss her friends and her home sometimes. She missed Amelia and Maggie and Alex and Jo and Callie and Arizona and Sofia. She even missed Cristina from time to time. But most of all, she missed her Dad.
Her mother bought her crayons and pencils and markers and all kinds of supplies for her to play with. Every day, she would write her alphabet out on a piece of paper in a new color. Her mom even taught her how to write dates and numbers so that she would write what day she wrote the letters on the papers. They kept a large stack of the papers under the bed so that they could look back at them later.
When she wasn't writing or reading, Zola liked to draw. At first, she drew simple things. Her house, her friends, her family. Then, she decided to draw her Dad. She didn't want to forget what he looked like. Zola found that it was fun to draw him. She liked thinking of him smiling and remembering his face.
She wrote down memories she had with him as well. Stories of times she had spent with him. She didn't want to forget them either. It helped with her writing as well. So, every day, she would wake up before her mom and her brother and she would write down a memory. If she had time, she would draw a picture. She got pretty good at drawing, experimenting with colors and things to find out what worked and what didn't. She kept everything she did a secret, though. She thought her mom might get upset with her if she knew about her drawings.
She used the dates that her mother taught her and wrote them in the corner of each paper. Then she made a different pile under the bed where her mother wouldn't find it. It helped relieve her stress and it helped her cope with her loss. Instead of being angry at her Dad for leaving her, she remembered all of the happy times she had with him.
Her mother's phone rang all the time. Many times a day, the screen would light up and it would vibrate, playing a ringtone softly. Zola noticed it ringing and she knew her mom did too, but she never answered it. Mommy said they were playing Hide and Seek. She obviously didn't want them to be found.
There were some days when her Mom didn't get out of bed. Those days were the hardest. She wouldn't talk, she wouldn't eat, and she wouldn't stop crying. On those days, Zola took the responsibility in the apartment upon herself. She made sure Bailey had enough to eat, she made sure that he went to the bathroom, (luckily, her mom and dad had potty trained him recently) she tried to teach him something new and she made sure to write her alphabet and read a book even though her mother didn't tell her to.
Around two months after they had moved in, her Mom was having one of her days. Zola got up early and did her drawing and her story, realized when her brother woke up that her Mom wasn't going to get up, and began her day. The phone rang a lot more that day. Maybe it was a special day. Zola was lonely that day. She wanted to hear one of her mother's stories, she wanted to know why she was upset, but she knew better than to disturb her mom when she was crying.
The phone rang around the middle of the day. Zola stared at it. She watched it ring for a few seconds. Her eyes drifted to her Mom, who had turned away and curled into a ball on the bed. She couldn't resist the temptation anymore. She grabbed the phone and stepped into the bathroom as quietly as possible, closing the door behind her and answering the phone.
"Hello?" She asked softly.
"Meredith?!" Arizona's voice asked, sounding shocked.
"Arizona?" Zola asked. Arizona let out a stunned sigh of relief.
"Zola! Oh, my god, you're okay!" She cried.
"Yeah. We're okay. Mommy and Bailey are here too. I don't know where we are, Mommy said we're playing Hide and Seek. I miss you. I miss everyone." Zola said quietly.
"Is your Mommy there? Can I talk to her?" Arizona asked. Zola sighed.
"She doesn't know I'm on the phone. She's having one of her... days. She's sad today, and she can't talk. Sorry." Zola said. Arizona let out a sigh laced with understanding.
"Zola, do you know if you're coming back soon?" Arizona asked. Zola thought for a moment.
"I don't know. I don't think so. Mommy says we can't leave." She said. Suddenly, there were indistinct voices on the other end and Zola heard crackling.
"Zola! You're okay! Is Meredith okay? Is your Mommy alright?" Alex's voice asked suddenly. Zola smiled at the sound of his voice. She missed him.
"She's okay. She's really sad today, so she can't talk." Alex made the same sound Arizona had when she had told her that her Mom was sad. What had happened today that made everyone sad? She thought back to her writing that day. The date was May 17th. What happened on May 17th?
"Zola, do you know where Derek is? Can you tell me if he's okay?" Alex asked. Zola was silent for a moment. She tried to think of a way to dodge the question. Her mom had been very clear about this: she did not want anyone to know about her Dad's death. Suddenly, Zola heard footsteps approaching.
"I have to go. Goodbye, Uncle Karev." She said quickly, hanging up the phone and looking up just as the door to the bathroom opened. Her mom was standing in the doorway, looking sadly at the phone in Zola's hand with a hint of disappointment in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Mommy. I just wanted to talk to someone other than Bailey. I didn't tell them anything, I promise. Just that we're okay." Zola said quickly. Her Mom approached her slowly. Zola gulped, overcome with unreasonable fear. Her parents rarely yelled at her, but when they did, it made her feel worse than anything else.
Tears filled her mother's eyes and she reached out her arms, wrapping them around a very surprised Zola. She returned the embrace, feeling her Mother shaking with quiet sobs.
"You're brave, Zola. Braver than I am." She said softly. Zola furrowed her eyebrows.
"You're not mad?" She asked quietly.
"No. I'm not mad. I was just scared to answer the phone." Her mom said.
"Are we going home soon?" Zola asked.
"Soon. They know we're okay. We just have to stay here until the new baby is born, okay?" Her mom said. Zola nodded.
XxXxX
Arizona walked out of her surgery, sighing in relief as she sat down on a bed. Her leg was killing her. She felt lonelier than ever that day. I'm the only one left. Lexie and Mark are dead. Cristina's in Switzerland. Meredith and Derek are gone. I'm alone.
Meredith.
It had become routine for people to call Meredith in every spare moment they had. They all knew she would never answer. They called her anyway. They left messages, talking to her as if she were talking back. Every time something happened, the first thing they did was call Meredith. They had all realized how much they depended on her for everything. They all realized how much they missed her.
She had her number on speed dial.
It rang four times.
The line picked up.
Arizona froze for a moment in shock.
"Hello?" A soft, quiet voice asked.
"Meredith?!" Arizona almost shouted. She couldn't believe her ears.
"Arizona?" She realized it was Zola's voice. The sweet, innocent voice that she missed so much.
"Zola! Oh, my god, you're okay!" Arizona cried. Relief flushed over her.
"Yeah. We're okay. Mommy and Bailey are here too. I don't know where we are. Mommy said we're playing hide and seek. I miss you. I miss everyone." Zola said quietly. Arizona was filled with worry.
"Is your mommy there? Can I talk to her?" She asked. Zola sighed and Arizona heard the pain in the simple sound. Something had happened. Something was different about the normally cheerful little girl.
"She doesn't know I'm on the phone. She's having one of her... days. She's sad today, and she can't talk. Sorry." Zola explained. Arizona sighed. She knew exactly how Meredith felt. She wanted to talk to her. Maybe they could make each other feel better. But, from how Zola sounded, Arizona had a feeling it was something more than the anniversary of the Plane Crash that was making Meredith upset.
"Zola, do you know if you're coming back soon?" She asked. Everyone in the hospital worried about them. They all missed Meredith and her kids. They all missed having someone to talk to when they needed it. Meredith had been through so much that she could relate to almost everything they were going through.
"I don't know. I don't think so. Mommy says we can't leave." The quiet voice said. Arizona was filled with anxiety. Why couldn't they leave? Were they there against their will? Had they been kidnapped?!
"Who are you talking to?" Alex walked up suddenly, pulling her out of her trance.
"It's Zola." She could barely get the words out before he had snatched the phone from her hand.
"Zola! You're okay! Is Meredith okay? Is your Mommy alright?" He asked. He was flushed with relief and happiness as he heard Zola's voice. He had never known how much he missed her until that moment.
"She's okay. She's really sad today, so she can't talk." Zola said. Alex glanced up at Arizona and sighed understandingly.
"Zola, do you know where Derek is?" He asked. The line was silent and he wondered if the call had been cut off.
"I have to go. Goodbye, Uncle Karev!" She said quickly, and the call ended. Alex stared at Arizona, stunned.
"She hung up." He choked.
XxXxX
Zola's mom worked really hard to keep both her and her brother educated. She did her best to teach Bailey one new thing every day and helped Zola with her reading, writing, and even taught her some basic math. Some days, when the silence in the apartment was overwhelming, Zola would ask her mother to tell her about her surgeries.
Her mom didn't just talk about surgery, though. It started out that way, but after a while, it transformed to stories of her life and her friends. Her mother told her all about her old friends George and Izzie and how George died in a bus crash and Izzie got cancer and left. She sugarcoated it at first, but eventually, she told Zola the whole truth. Zola knew she could handle it. She may have been young, but she was smart and she was tough.
Her mother's stories became one of the highlights of her day. She was infatuated with the crazy scenarios and it almost felt like she was reading a book or watching a TV show. She got attached to the 'characters' and almost forgot they were real people. She heard about Cristina's old boyfriend, Burke, and how she almost had a baby, and how not-so-perfect her mom and dad's relationship started out.
Zola was shocked when her mom told her that her Dad was married before and didn't tell her. She couldn't imagine her Dad loving anyone but her Mom. When she learned about how his wife had cheated on him, she felt bad for her Dad. Then her Mom mentioned Mark Sloan.
"She cheated on Dad with Uncle Mark?!" Zola had cried in disbelief. Her mother had smiled at her as if she were surprised that she remembered who Mark was. How could she forget him? He was Sofia's dad and he always played with her when she went to their apartment.
Her mom had told her the story of when she first met Mark and he had flirted with her (there was a long and awkward attempt to explain the word flirt) and how her Dad had punched him in the face.
Then, one day, she told Zola the story of the bomb. The little girl was shocked to find out her mother had almost died when she stuck her hand inside of one of her patients with a bomb in his chest. She was even more shocked to hear that the bomb had exploded not long after she had taken it out and handed it off, killing the man that she had handed it to. Her mom told her that was just the beginning and her mouth fell open. She was excited to hear about everything her Mom had accomplished in her life.
The stories were almost never-ending. New people were introduced, like Zola's aunt Lexie, and other people disappeared, like Burke after he decided not to marry Cristina. Her mother never failed to amaze her with her near-death experiences. It was almost frightening, how many times she had almost died and how many people died around her.
By the time they reached her Dad's death, Zola's Mom's stomach had grown to the size it was when she had Bailey. Zola assumed it was almost time for them to go home.
Zola smiled as she finished the final touches of her picture for the day. She leaned back and admired her work. It was definitely the best drawing she had done in a while. It looked just like him. Her Daddy. From his sparkly eyes to his soft, fluffy hair, to the crooked part at the end of his nose. It was perfect.
The memory she had written down for the day was a foggy one. She only remembered a little bit. It was a long time ago when she had first met her Dad. She had been in daycare and he had been sitting, watching her with Uncle Mark. Suddenly, he had scooped her up in his arms and carried her around the room, making whooshing noises and smiling from ear to ear as she giggled uncontrollably.
He had placed her down on a bean bag and tickled her until she thought she might die. The smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes was an image she would never be able to forget.
Zola stood up and walked quietly over to the bed, placing the two papers on the top of the pile under the bed. A sudden voice made her jump.
"What are you doing?" Her mom asked softly, careful not to wake Bailey. Zola looked up at her with wide eyes and tried to think of an excuse.
"Um... I uh..." She stammered. Her Mom slowly got out of the bed, stepping around it to where Zola was standing. She fished the papers out from under the bed.
"What's this?" She asked curiously. Zola gulped as her Mom sat down at the table and looked over the top paper. The slight smile on her face faded as her eyes scanned further down the page. Zola stood against the wall, her face in her hands. Her mom was not supposed to ever find out about this. She would cry and it would be all Zola's fault.
"You drew this?" Her mom asked softly, holding up the drawing Zola had just finished. The little girl nodded, not daring to look up and see the tears in her Mother's eyes.
"Come here, baby." She said. Zola's eyes flicked up for a moment. Her Mom had both of her arms extended out to her, her eyes shining with tears. Zola walked slowly up to her. She felt shaky arms wrapping around her and returned her Mom's embrace, feeling tears in her own eyes.
She was lifted so that she was sitting on her mother's lap. They both sat for what felt like hours looking through the memories and the drawings. Zola's embarrassment slowly faded. Her Mom's arms around gave her comfort. She had become infinitely closer to her Mom in the past months. She loved her more than ever. Feeling her arms around her made her feel safe and loved.
"This is beautiful." She said, looking at one of the drawings. Zola smiled sheepishly.
"I miss him." She said almost too softly to be heard. Her mom nodded.
"I miss him, too."
They were both silent for a while. Sitting and staring at the picture of her Dad with watery eyes. Her mom finally spoke minutes later.
"What do you say we go home, Zo?" She asked. Zola looked up at her with wide eyes.
"I... I thought we were staying here until Baby Sister came?" She said. Her mom smiled.
"I think it'd be better if she were born at home, don't you?"
Zola nodded.
XxXxX
Alex handed Maggie the chart for their 7-year-old patient with Aortic Stenosis. He saw the elevator open behind her and froze. His breath caught in his throat and he stared in shock. Maggie furrowed her eyebrows at him and turned around. Her reaction was the same.
Meredith was standing in the middle of the hallway, her face was pale and covered in sweat and her eyes were scrunched up in pain. She looked to be at least 8 months pregnant. Her children were standing behind her looking terrified.
"Meredith?!" Alex screeched, running towards her. As he got closer, he heard her panting, but he didn't notice. His entire body had been overcome with joy.
"Oh, my god! You're alive, you're here!" He cried, throwing his arms around her as tears rushed to his eyes. He looked at Zola and Bailey behind her. They had grown so much since he had last seen them that it was shocking. Meredith clutched his arms tightly and pushed him off of her just slightly. He noticed her raspy panting.
"Meredith? Mer, what's wrong?" He asked as her grip tightened and she sunk slightly.
"I'm... in... labor..." She choked before she collapsed into his arms, much to her children's horror. Maggie rushed over and helped Alex carry her into a room and lay her down on a bed. He checked her pulse and she turned around to try to find a way to calm down Zola and Bailey, who had both burst into tears.
"Is she dead?! She can't die, you have to fix her! You have to save her and Little Sister!" Zola screeched. The little girl held her brother close to her and let him bury his head in her shirt so that only his blond hair was visible.
"Zola, let's go outside. Come on, we need to leave so Uncle Karev can fix her, okay? Let's go outside and talk for a little while." Maggie said in her calmest voice, trying to tame the infinite number of questions in her mind as she ushered the children through the door.
Meredith's eyes shot open and met Alex's almost immediately. He looked at her incredulously as tears flooded her eyes.
"Meredith... who's the father?" He asked. She looked at him like he was crazy.
"Derek! I would never-" She was cut off by a contraction as she groaned in pain and tensed her entire body up. Alex let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank god. It really looked like you cheated on him, got pregnant, ran away, and took your kids with you. What the hell happened?!" Alex almost shouted. She looked up at him, annoyed.
"I'M IN LABOR!" She shouted. He shook his head as if he had forgotten and pulled out his phone. She looked at him questioningly but he ignored her. The line picked up and he spoke without letting whoever answered even talk.
"I need to speak to Addison Montgomery now." He said urgently. Meredith's eyes went wide as she desperately gestured for Alex to stop but he didn't. Seconds later, Addison's voice entered his ears.
"Who is this, and what is so important?" She asked, annoyed. Meredith groaned in pain as she had another contraction. Alex checked his watch.
"Addison, it's Alex Karev. I need you to get to Seattle now. Its Meredith, she's been missing for months and she just showed up, she's in labor and we can't find Derek." He said. The line was silent for a moment before he heard crackling and indistinct voices.
"I'm getting a helicopter now, what's wrong with her?" Addison asked.
"Her contractions are seven minutes apart and she collapsed a few minutes ago, I don't know if the baby is healthy or not, I didn't even know she was pregnant. I heard Zola say something about a sister, so I think it's a girl and she must have been going to ultrasounds if she knows the gender." He said. Addison was silent for a moment.
"Why don't you just ask her?" She asked. Alex looked up at Meredith, who had tears coating her face and was looking at him with pain and guilt in her eyes. He quickly looked away and turned so that his back was facing her, whispering into the phone.
"She's been missing for nine months, Addison. She hasn't answered any of our calls and neither has Derek. She won't answer questions and I don't where she's been this entire time." He whispered. Addison sighed.
"Okay, Well, try to find out as much as you can. Tell her not to push until I get there, I'm getting in the helicopter now. I'll be there in an hour." She said loudly as the beating of helicopter blades played loudly over the speaker. The call ended. Alex put his phone back in his pocket and walked back over to Meredith.
"Mer... where have you been? What happened?"
XxXxX
Maggie stared silently at Zola, who refused to meet her gaze. Bailey sat in her lap in the waiting room chair.
"Zola..." She started, but the little girl shook her head.
"I can't tell you anything. I promised Mommy I wouldn't. I already broke the promise once. I'm not going to do it again." She said. Maggie sighed.
"Zola, you have to give me something here! You've been missing for nine months, we've had no idea where you were or if you were even alive until you answered the phone. Your mom's life is in danger here, I need you to tell me if the baby is okay." Maggie begged. Zola sighed.
"The doctor said that she's okay. She said it's a girl and that she's healthy. Mommy said she was ready to come back but she said something about breaking water before we got home and then we came here." Zola explained, careful not to give away too much.
"Why can't you tell me anything?" Maggie asked. Zola still wouldn't make eye contact with her. "Where's your Daddy?" Zola's eyes flooded with tears and she turned away so that Maggie wouldn't see. Her aunt grabbed her face gently and forced her to make eye contact. Zola kept her mouth shut, but Bailey was the one who spoke the two words that had shattered Zola's world nine months ago.
"Daddy died." The little boy said softly. Zola tried to cover his mouth, but it was too late. The words were out. They sliced into her like a knife and she let the tears fall from her eyes. Maggie sat, frozen, staring at the two children in shock.
"Wh...what?!" She cried. Zola let out a strangled sob and tried to explain what happened. There was no use in keeping the secret anymore.
"Daddy was in a car accident. Mommy went with the police officers and we stayed at home. She came back and told us that he died. Then she packed up a bag and we drove for a really long time. I don't know where we went. We got an apartment and Mommy told me she was having another baby. She said we were playing hide and seek and we would stay there until she had the baby. Her phone kept ringing and she never answered it, but she never turned it off. One day, I answered it and it was uncle Karev. I didn't tell him anything except that we were okay, but Mommy was still sad. We barely ever left the apartment. She would leave me with Bailey and go buy food and things every couple weeks. Then there were days that she didn't even get out of bed. She just sat and cried all day. She said she missed Daddy. I miss Daddy." Zola said slowly. Maggie was still frozen as grief washed over her like a tsunami.
"Derek is dead?" She still could barely wrap her mind around it. All this time, Meredith had been alone, and none of them knew it. Derek had been dead for nine months and they were just now finding out. They had been in pain for months and everyone had been busy hating Meredith for leaving.
"Oh, Zola." Maggie cried as the little girl wrapped her arms around her. They both let tears fall from their eyes and didn't notice when Alex stuck his head out of the room.
"Pierce! I've got help on the way, but it'll be an hour." He said, causing Maggie to jump and turn around. Alex furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the tears on her face.
"What's wrong? What happened?" He asked. She sighed and wiped the liquid from her face. She made eye contact with Zola.
"Oh, it's um... it's nothing. I just missed them so much, you know?" She smiled fakely. Alex scoffed.
"Women." He chuckled and stepped back into the hospital room.
XxXxX
An hour later and Meredith was screaming, her face bright red and soaked with sweat and tears. He sat next to her, her hand scooped up in his.
"Mer, its okay. You're going to be okay." He said. She stopped and caught her breath, looking at him with watery eyes filled with darkness and pain.
"You shouldn't... have called... Addison." She said weakly. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.
"If something's wrong with you, Mer, I want the best. You deserve the best." He said.
"You made the right call, Karev." Addison's voice behind him caused both of them to look up. Addison smiled as Alex jumped up to hug her. Meredith couldn't meet her gaze.
"What's the problem here?" Addison asked when Alex let go of her.
"She came in pale with shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, and she fainted a few minutes before I called you," Alex said as Addison put on a pair of gloves and sat down at the end of the table.
"Meredith, have you been going to regular checkups and ultrasounds?" Addison asked. Meredith leaned forward and groaned in pain.
"Y-yes. It- it's a girl, I wasn't scheduled until next week..." She interrupted herself with a strangled scream and clutched Alex's hand.
"Do you have any idea where Derek is?" Addison asked as she examined the baby.
"I... need to push..." Meredith choked, avoiding the question. She did not want to be the one to tell her husband's ex-wife that he was dead.
"Okay, Meredith, the baby looks fine. Go ahead and push." Addison said, exchanging a worried look with Alex. Meredith squeezed his hand until they were both white as she screamed in pain, her entire body tensing up. Tears streamed down her face and pain shot through her body.
"You're doing great, Mer, just keep pushing. You can do it, you're almost there!" Alex encouraged, his brain telling him to pull his hand away before it got crushed but his heart telling him not to.
"I can see the head! You're almost done, Meredith, just a few more pushes." Addison said, looking up at the mess of a mother in front of her.
Meredith stopped for a moment, desperately trying to catch her breath. Alex rubbed her back.
"I... I can't. I can't do this, I can't! He's supposed to be here! I can't do it without him!" She cried.
"Yes, you can! You can, Meredith, you're so close! Just a little bit more and you can hold your daughter!" Addison encouraged. Meredith let out a strangled sob and used all of her remaining energy to push the baby out, her screams echoing in the ears of the doctors in the room.
Addison sighed in relief as the tiny girl started crying immediately. She grabbed a pair of scissors from the instrument tray and looked up at Alex.
"You... you want me to do it?" He asked, looking at Meredith. She didn't even notice what was happening, only focusing on catching her breath as tears flooded from her eyes. Addison nodded and handed Alex the scissors.
"Derek's not here and... it would be weird for me to do it. Just cut the cord, Karev!" Addison held out the baby to him. He quickly cut the umbilical cord and stepped to the side, cleaning off the little girl swiftly and wrapping her in a blanket.
He smiled as he handed Meredith's daughter to her. His friend's eyes lit up and filled with tears all over again. A smile took over her face as she held the baby close to her body.
"Derek would be so happy..." She cried softly. Addison exchanged a distressed look with Alex as Meredith smiled at her baby. Amelia suddenly rushed into the room.
"Is it true?! Meredith's alive?! She's back?" Amelia cried, not noticing the mother in the room. Meredith looked up at her, a wave of grief crashing over her. Now she would have to tell both her husband's ex-wife and her sister in law that he was dead at the same time.
"Oh, my god," Amelia said when she noticed Meredith on the bed. Her eyes landed on the baby in her arms and Addison sitting at the end of the bed and went wide.
"Oh, my god!" She repeated, stumbling further into the room. Her mouth had fallen open as her eyes darted around the room. Everyone could tell she was looking for Derek.
"How... what... what happened?" She slurred. Meredith sighed. She couldn't keep it a secret anymore.
"Sit down." She said softly. Amelia obliged, looking worried.
"Meredith, where is Derek? Did he leave you? Tell me he didn't! That son of a-" Meredith cut Alex off.
"He didn't leave me! Not on purpose, anyway." She cried. Amelia's eyes went wide as anxieties ran through her head. Addison was frozen in her chair, staring at the woman she had wished the worst upon for years. Alex was confused.
"What do you mean? What happened?" He asked. Meredith stared directly at Amelia, whose eyes had filled with tears.
"Derek... is dead." She said the words everyone had hoped weren't true. Amelia crumbled into sobs. Addison and Alex stared at Meredith in shock.
"How... when... where?" Alex stuttered. Meredith looked down at the baby in her arms, unable to watch her sister in law crying any longer.
"The day that I left. When Derek missed his meeting and I worried all day, I went home and I waited until 5:00. Right before I called 9-1-1, police arrived at my house. They took me and the kids to some tiny hospital and told me there had been an accident. He was brain dead when I got there. The hospital wasn't equipped for trauma and didn't do a head CT when they should have. The on-call neurosurgeon took an hour to get there because he was at dinner. They had me sign forms for withdrawal of care and I sat with him until he..." She trailed off, knowing that no one was listening anymore. They were all off in their own thoughts.
Amelia held her chest and sobbed quietly. Addison let tears run down her face but stayed silent. Alex couldn't take his eyes off of Meredith. He didn't know how to feel. No one knew what to say.
"That night, I found out I was pregnant. I packed a bag and took the kids to Boston. At first, I didn't plan to stay there for very long. Just long enough to clear my head. But then, I spent five days driving and reliving every moment that I ever spent with him, and I just couldn't imagine myself ever coming back here. I couldn't bring myself to answer anyone's calls and I didn't stop driving the entire time. By the time we got to the apartment, I had convinced myself it was only right to stay until the baby was born. A few days ago, it dawned on me that Christmas is coming up. And I realized... I don't want to spend my first Christmas without him alone. I missed everyone." She explained.
"You never answered anyone's calls. We thought you were dead until Zola answered the phone. And then it was so long after that, we thought you were dead for sure." Alex said. Meredith looked up at him with watery eyes.
"I'm sorry. I just... I couldn't. I couldn't." She cried. Alex nodded.
"It's okay, You're here now. You're alive. And I'm still your person, whether you like it or not." He smirked. She chuckled despite the tears on her face as Maggie, Zola, and Bailey all stepped into the room. Maggie and Zola looked like they had been crying.
"Mommy! You're okay!" Zola cried, running over to her mother and climbing up on the bed. She didn't even notice the baby in her mother's arms. Maggie lifted Bailey silently so that he was sitting on the bed on the other side of Meredith. She noticed Amelia crying in the corner and the tears staining every face around the room and assumed Meredith had just broken the news.
"Meredith... I'm so, so sorry." She said softly. Her half-sister looked up at her confusedly.
"Bailey told her accidentally. I tried to stop him, but he doesn't know any better..." Zola said to her mother. She had guilt in her eyes.
"It's okay, Zo. People had to know eventually." Meredith said. Zola finally noticed her sister in her mother's arms and gasped.
"Baby Sister is here?" She cried, tears flooding to her eyes. Meredith smiled at her kids.
"Yes, she is. Baby Sister is here."
XxXxX
Derek, Mark, Lexie, George, and Ellis stood at the end of the bed. Mark squeezed Derek's shoulder comfortingly. They all perked up as Meredith spoke, her kids sitting on either side of her and her newborn daughter in her arms. Derek's daughter.
"Alexandra Margaret Shepherd." She said softly. George, Mark, and Ellis looked at Lexie, whose eyes had filled with tears. Her hands shook as she covered her mouth with them. Mark wrapped his arms around her.
Derek couldn't take his eyes off of Meredith. He had never been able to. He felt horrible as he was forced to watch her run away from the people who loved her and suffer alone. He wanted more than anything else to hold her again.
Instead, he watched, with pride in his eyes, as the love of his life held their three children in her arms and kissed each of their heads. There was only one word on his mind. It was the only word he could speak through his tears.
"Beautiful."
XxXxX
Weeks later, Meredith knocked five times on the door to a cozy-looking house, her other hand occupied by her son's pudgy one. Zola stood on her other side of her, staring around at all of the snow in amazement. They were all swaddled in coats to keep them at least somewhat warm in the below freezing weather. A figure appeared in the doorway and the door swung open.
"Meredith?!" Cristina practically shouted.
"Aunt Cristina!" Zola cried, running up and throwing her arms around the stunned surgeon.
"Zola! You're so big, my goodness!" Cristina laughed. Meredith smiled as they shared a long hug. Cristina hadn't noticed the extra baby yet.
"What are you doing here?" She asked. He eyes landed on the stroller with the young baby in it. She gasped.
"Who is this?!" She cried, crouching down to look at the tiny baby.
"This is little Lexie Shepherd." Meredith beamed, sticking her finger out for her daughter to wrap her fist around. Cristina looked up at her in amazement.
"You and Derek had another baby? And you didn't call me?" She asked. Meredith's face fell.
"It's a long story." She said.
"Well, come in! I'm uh... I'm actually having dinner with Burke right now, but I'm sure he won't mind if you join us!" She said. Meredith raised her eyebrows.
"We're like... friends now... I guess." She shrugged. Meredith stepped into the warm house and looked around.
"This is nice. It's clean. You must not spend a lot of time here." Meredith gathered. Cristina laughed as she walked through a door into the dining room.
"Preston, I hope you don't mind if we have a couple more guests," Cristina announced as she stepped into the room where Burke, his wife, and their two kids sat at the table. Burke shrugged.
"Well, sure. I didn't know that you had other friends here." He said. Cristina smirked as Meredith stepped through the doorway.
"I don't." She chuckled. Her former teacher jumped up from his chair and walked over to them in surprise.
"Meredith! I haven't seen you in, what, 7 years? 8?" He said, giving Meredith a hug. Zola hid behind her mother, her hand clutching her shirt nervously.
"Who is this you have with you?" Burke asked, crouching down so that he was at eye level with the little girl.
"This is my daughter, Zola. And my son, Bailey, and the newest addition to the family, Lexie." Meredith said proudly. Burke smiled and extended his hand to the shy little girl.
"I'm Preston Burke. I'm a friend of your Aunt Cristina." He said. Zola looked at him, confused.
"My Mommy told me you didn't want to marry Aunt Cristina. Why not? She's really nice." Zola said. Meredith locked panicked eyes with Cristina as Burke laughed.
"Sounds like your Mommy tells you a lot." He said, looking up at Meredith, who had covered her face in embarrassment.
"We talked a lot while we played Hide and Seek." She said. Meredith inhaled sharply and changed the subject.
"Okay, Zo-Zo, let's go sit down." She said, reaching out her hand for her older daughter to take. Burke and Cristina exchanged confused looks.
"Um, Edra, this is Meredith Grey. She's in town to visit Cristina, I assume." Burke said as Meredith led her three kids into the dining room. His wife smiled.
"Well, Cristina talks about you all the time. Nice to finally meet you in the flesh." She smiled. Meredith smiled back and settled her children into chairs. Cristina and Burke took their chairs back.
"So, Meredith, how's Derek? Is he still in DC?" Burke asked. Meredith shot a warning glance over to Zola, who grabbed Bailey's hand and shook her head at him. Cristina watched the silent exchange and immediately, alarms went off in her head.
"Uh... Derek's fine. He's working hard, you know, barely ever home." She said with fake enthusiasm.
"Well, that must be difficult. Being a surgeon with three kids at home." Edra commented. Meredith nodded, looking down at her lap to stop tears from falling from her eyes.
"Yeah... Yeah, it's hard... without him, you know." She said. She couldn't stop her voice from breaking and took a sharp and shaky breath. Cristina looked up at Burke worriedly.
"Um, Meredith, why don't I show you my room upstairs? It has a minifridge!" Cristina suggested. Meredith sniffled and nodded, blinking back her tears and looking up at Zola.
"Will you be okay if I leave?" She asked, hoping that her daughter got the hidden meaning behind her words. Zola nodded and Meredith saw the understanding in her eyes. She knew Zola got the message.
Cristina led Meredith to the stairwell but stopped as soon as they were out of hearing range of the dining room.
"What's wrong, Meredith? Why are you here?" She asked. Meredith sighed.
"Did something happen? With Derek? Did he cheat on you? Did he leave you?" Cristina probed. Meredith let out a long breath and finally spoke.
"Derek is dead." The words still hurt her every time she spoke them. Cristina was silent as she stared at her best friend in shock.
"He quit his job in DC and came back. He had to back up there for one more meeting and he was in a car accident. He saved four other people before his car was hit by a semi-truck. The hospital he was in wasn't equipped for trauma and by the time the neurosurgeon got there... it was too late. He was brain dead when I arrived and then I sat with him while they unplugged him." She explained. Cristina was still frozen. She felt as if her heart had stopped beating.
"I found out I was pregnant that night and I fled to Boston with the kids. I didn't tell anyone where we were or what had happened. Not even Alex. Right before I went into labor, I went home. Addison came and I had the baby, and then I told everyone that he was gone. I came here as soon as I got out of the hospital." She continued, not sure if Cristina was even listening anymore. Cristina pulled her into a tight hug.
"McDreamy is dead?" She asked weakly. Meredith felt tears rush to her own eyes.
"McDreamy is dead."
XxXxX
Meredith stayed with Cristina for a week. She made sure to call Alex every day so that he knew she was still alive and didn't run away again. She slept in Cristina's bed because she still wasn't used to sleeping alone. Cristina took off work some days and they just talked, and other days, Meredith was alone with her kids. She didn't mind those days as much as you would think. She had gotten pretty used to those days after 9 months straight of them.
Eventually, the time came for her to go home. She left with promises to call her friend more often and not to get too dark and twisty. They had a tearful goodbye and then Meredith went home. She went back to work immediately, despite Owen's very clear orders.
People tiptoed around her at first, afraid that one day she might shatter like a fragile glass vase. After a while, though, things got back to a somewhat normal pace. Zola started kindergarten and Meredith got used to sleeping with the other side of the bed empty. She could never get comfortable sleeping in the middle, though. And she wouldn't dream of sleeping on the other side.
XxXxX
Zola smiled as she finished her drawing. It was a little bit hard to concentrate in the noisy classroom, but she was still proud of her work. The teacher looked over her shoulder.
"Wow, Zola! That's a really pretty drawing. Who is it?" She asked. Zola looked up at her.
"It's my Daddy." She said. Her teacher smiled.
"Well, we should show it to him at the end of the day, what do you think?" She asked. Zola shook her head.
"He can already see it." She said. Her teacher furrowed her eyebrows.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"He can always see me. He's always watching." She said.
"From where?" The teacher asked.
"From Heaven!" Zola replied. The teacher's face fell. Her eyes filled with sadness.
"You must miss him." She said. Zola nodded.
"I do. All the time." She said. The teacher nodded and walked away.
XxXxX
Derek stood in the kindergarten classroom watching his daughter hard at work on a drawing. Lexie was by his side, smiling proudly.
"She's quite the artist, isn't she?" His sister-in-law chuckled. He nodded, a small smile on his face.
"She is." Lexie rubbed his back.
"She's beautiful."
XxXxX
Oh, my goodness.
I've been writing this story for over two weeks now. 11,000 words. I'm honestly amazed at myself. Now for the real author's note.
I knew this was coming. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was ready.
I was not.
Never have I been more heartbroken. Never have I cried so hard for so long. Never have I felt the pain that I felt in my heart when Derek Shepherd died. I cried for hours. I was shaking until the moment I fell asleep that night. I've had multiple emotional breakdowns in the past few days when everything came grinding to a halt and the reality of that episode was dumped on me like a pile of bricks.
I had the idea for this story two weeks ago when I was half asleep. I hadn't even watched the episode yet, but I had an idea of what would happen in the aftermath. Now, I've seen what actually happened, and I was surprised at how close I was. I guess I know this show pretty well.
Sorry that I haven't posted any new chapters on any of my stories. I've been working on multiple different chapters and this one was just the only one I could even think of writing the past few days. I've been in grief mode. Thank god for the extra-long weekend.
Kisses!
-E
