Late update again, I know. This was supposed to be a Christmas present for you fellow readers.(and if you don't celebrate Christmas, a holiday gift) But I didn't finish the chunin exam chapter by then, so I extended the date to new years, but obviously, I didn't finish by then either. And, it's still in progress, so you'll hear back from me as soon as possible. But exams are coming up, so I'm not sure if I'll get it back too soon.

I'm really trying with this chapter though, because I have inspiration for it, just bear with me. These next two chapters aren't my best work.

-I Don't Own Naruto-


Chapter 9: Talks

I looked up at him with wide eyes. Tears streaked my cheeks, and I shook my head in reply. He looked at me for a few more seconds and sighed. I tightened my arms around my knees. My tears stopped, but I didn't want to move. The same thoughts ran though my head, but I was so used to them by now, I was immune. My mom was dead, and I couldn't do anything about it. I would never be able to bring her back. I was skinnier than more girls now. I never worried anymore. But I was still weak, even though I trained night and day. Even so, I was still happy that I was stronger.

"Sakura," Kakashi tried to get my attention, "Sakura, look at me." I brought my eyes up and became hypnotized by his swirling sharingan. Before I knew it, the world around me began fading, and I fell into the darkness.

I woke up looking at the plain white ceiling in my room. My head was pulsing as I started off to the kitchen for medicine. As I was walking out, I rubbed my eye and froze at what I saw. Sasuke was leaning on the counter, with his gaze on me.

"You're awake," he observed

"What are you doing here?" I went past him to the cabinet.

"I'm supposed to watch over you while Kakashi is out getting food," He said uninterested.

"I don't need a babysitter. The door is open, so you can leave," I popped a pill into my mouth.

"It's not that simple," he tensed.

"I don't see why it's hard. Just walk out the door," I spoke sarcastically.

"What happened to you, Sakura?" he closed his eyes.

"Nothing."

"You changed." He looked at the ground.

"Why should it matter to you?" I glared at him.

"I never said it did."

"Then I shouldn't have to answer your question."

We were both quiet for a while until Kakashi came in though the door.

"Leave, now." I stared at the two.

"Tch." Sasuke walked out the door and I stared at Kakashi.

"I'm waiting…" My foot tapped impatiently.

"I'm not leaving, Sakura." Kakashi said.

"Then I am," I made my way to the door before Kakashi grabbed me.

"From now on, I'm watching over you until you're healthy again," He said.

"I'm perfectly fine," I turned away from him, looking down at my arm. "Let go."

Kakashi ignored me, and closed the door, "I'm going to make lunch. You can do whatever you want, as long as you stay in the house."

"Enjoy you're lunch then. I'll be in my room training." I stalked off annoyed.

If I tried to sneak out of the house, he would know. And I was sure he wasn't going to let me skip meals. There had to be something I could do. I fell back on my bed with my arms spread out. The medicine didn't seem to be working. I eyed the mirror for a split second, and looked away. I didn't want to see what I looked like. I got a long blanket from my closet and draped it over the mirror. I smiled slightly to myself.

I came out to see what Kakashi was making, and there was a plate in the middle of the table.

"Lunch is ready." Kakashi announced.

I stared at him, and he ignored me. I felt the tears start coming into my eyes, and I held them back. I knew he was going to make me eat, but I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. And I knew Kakashi wouldn't let me leave until I ate.

I sat at the table glaring at the one rice ball in front of me. Kakashi watched me and ate quietly.

"You do know I'm not going to eat right?" I questioned, still looking at the rice ball.

"Sakura, you're not going anywhere until you eat."

"It's not like you're letting me go anywhere anyway," I shot back.

"If it comes to it, I'll force feed you," he looked at me.

"Then force feed me then!" I slammed my hands on the table. "Nothing will happen! You think that you can change me, but you can't! Only I can change myself, and guess what? I don't plan on changing!" Without a surprise, Kakashi stopped me when I walked toward the door.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?!" I screamed and he blocked my punch. "There's nothing wrong with me!"

"Sakura, calm down," he commanded.

"Why should I?" I spat.

"I'll take you out of the exam," he glared.

I widened my eyes. I wanted to hurt him. I wasn't going to win, and he knew it. He walked me back to the table and I sat down, still shocked.

'It's just one,' I thought to myself. 'What can it do?'

I pushed the plate away and laid my head down on the table. My work, all my hard work, ruined. I looked up at the plate and picked the rice ball up. What choice did I have? I had to eat. My hand pulled the rice ball to my mouth, and I nibbled the tip off of it. My eyes were closed and I tried not to cry. Kakashi nodded at me, and I took another bite. I put it back on the plate and laid down on the table again.

Tears fell from my eyes, and I glimpsed at the rice ball again. Kakashi looked at me, and I managed to take another bite.

"Do you mind telling me why you've been starving yourself?"

"You should be able to guess," I said quietly as I took a deep breath and ate.

"You're trying to impress Sasuke," he said it more like a statement.

"I'm not trying to impress him…" I started.

"So, if Sasuke wasn't here, you would still be starving yourself?" he continued.

"…probably," I said, "I just want to be…perfect."

"Sakura no one is perfect," he said, and he took the half eaten rice ball away from me. "You can eat the rest later. I want to show you something."

He took me to my covered mirror, and pulled the blanket off. I stood in front of it looking down at the floor.

"Tell me what you see," he told me.

Slowly, I pulled my face up, and saw myself. "I see me."

"And what are some things about you?"

"I'm skinny. I think it looks pretty," my eyes traced my figure. There was no excess fat in sight.

"Is there anything you don't like?" he questioned.

Something about me that wasn't there before was bothering me, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I was so different.

"Not really," I replied.

"Do you know what I see, Sakura?" I looked at him, and he began pointing at my reflection.

"I see a beautiful girl that doesn't see herself clearly. She has a soft face that has been ruined. Her hair has lost its lust, her eyes are sunken in, giving her a tired look, her bones show, and she easily bruises."

I looked at myself closer bringing the finer details to my attention. Kakashi was right. I did have sunken eyes, and bruises, but I liked the showing of my bones.

"Come, I have something else to show you," he led me to the scale in the bathroom. "Get on."

I stepped on reluctantly, and closed my eyes. I heard Kakashi mumble a quiet "69" and I looked down. I stepped off the scale, half proud, half ashamed.

"Sakura, do you know what the normal weight for you is?" he made eye contact with me, and wouldn't let me look away.

"Around the middle 90's…" I said.

"Right, so when you get to about 90, I won't bother you anymore."

"No," I said softly. "No, no, no, no no, NO!" I shook my head and screamed. "You can't do this to me! You don't know how long I've been working for this! You don't know how hard it's been! And now you expect me to throw everything away? Sasuke notices me now! I'm happier this way!"

"Stop lying to yourself Sakura. You very well know that this is wrong," He said firmly.

"So what if it's wrong to you? What if it's right for me?"

"It's not right for anyone. Look at what it's doing to you," he kept his voice controlled. "Do you still think it's right?"

"With every bad part, there's a good part, and I'm willing to sacrifice for that. I'm not going back. I refuse to go back. You don't know how things were for me back then. Imagine coming home, crying, everyday. Thinking that you weren't good enough. Feeling like you were hated. And finding out that the one person that actually accepted you was taken away from you!" Hot tears rolled down my face.

Kakashi stood looking at me while I was looking at the ground. I still missed her, but she was gone. I shouldn't be thinking too much about her, but I don't want to forget her either. If she didn't die, I wouldn't be like this, Kakashi wouldn't be bothering me all the time, and maybe I wouldn't care about Sasuke.

"I know what it's like to lose someone, Sakura. I've already lost everyone I had." He smiled at me. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't make new friends."

"She wasn't my friend," I said coldly. "She was my mother. The last person I had, lost, gone, vanished, forever."

"Sakura, I believe in you, too, and I'm going to help you get through this."

"No. No, you aren't," I wailed, eyeing my sensei with obvious distaste. "No one can help me."

Kakashi finally had no retort.

My head throbbed to the beat of my heart. I felt some of the food I ate coming back up into my throat. Yes, I thought sleepily. Making not-so-steady eye-contact with Kakashi, I added "You can't help the ones that don't need it."


Credits to LDstar for the ending. I really couldn't think of one, and she helped me. lots.

Thanks for reading. The next chapter is waiting for you.