Insolence, That's What
Author Note: Am I Joanne Kathleen Rowling? Nope. It's not mine, then. Some moderate canon characters make appearances here, and personally I didn't think they'd cross my mind. Plus there are flashes of drama with a minor fight between Al and Rose, which looks serious at first when you read it, but never fear, those two have their usual fluffy scenes.
"Why I agreed to this, I don't know." Albus muttered, shivering in the January cold.
"Because you respect Hagrid?" James said. Albus nodded. "Oi!" James exclaimed, feeling something. Titters sounded, followed by giggling. The guys looked over.
"Girl power!" Lily exclaimed across the grounds - she'd just chucked a snowball.
"RIGHT!" James bellowed, thundering towards her. Al stayed by the pumpkin patch.
"Gaah!" Lily screamed, her eyes widening. She crouched with her tiny frame at the last second, so James' snowball ended up hitting Rose. Rose's face darkened. James gulped. Rose gathered up several snowballs and hurled them fast.
"HELP ME!" James shrieked in fear. Al was bent double in laughter, his eyes meeting Rose's. Rose nodded. Albus gathered up a snowball, and Rose levitated it with her wand. She magicked it towards James, then at the last second, changed its course - and hit Al in the stomach. James raised an eyebrow at Rose giggling.
"You are so dead." Al smiled, getting back up to a standing position. A flicker of uncertainity wavered in Rose's eyes before she ran away. James and Lily laughed. Quick as a flash, Rose was pinned down by Al, who was tickling her mercilessly.
"Merlin you're strong." Rose half-laughed - Al didn't play Quidditch, but he'd still inherited muscles from Harry and Ginny.
The middle Potter child flashed her a smile, then suddenly let her go. But as soon as Rose was standing again, her other half played another trick on her. He picked her up and twirled her around. "Albus Severus Potter! Put me down!" Rose squealed.
"Merlin I'm strong..." Al scoffed. He put Rose down and looked her in the eye. "Merlin, you're light." he smiled, not believing it. "I didn't realise how light you are."
"Hugo inherited my dad's eating habits." Rose chuckled.
"We all know that." Al grinned. "Your super-fast metabolism, however, works wonders for you, Roseflower. Have you ever thought about trying out for Seeker? You've got the petite build for it." he smiled sweetly. Rose turned a trace of pink.
"Awww." cooed Lily. "You two..." she continued.
"While I enjoy this..." James coughed - Al, Rose and Lily gave him slight glares - "...I think we should go to Hagrid's." he finished. Soon they were in the half-giant's cabin.
"So what brings yer four ter my neck o' the woods?" Hagrid pondered.
"Just wanted to visit." Al said. James snorted. Rose whacked the brown-eyed boy.
"What was that all abou'?" Hagrid asked. Rose shook her head imploringly.
"James is implying that I didn't want to come." Al said, glaring at his brother.
"Hello?! You wanted to fire frozen ammunition with Rose and Lily!" James pouted.
"Meaning?" Hagrid queried, quite befuddled. Rose and Lily chuckled.
"Meaning snowballs." the girls chorused. James looked close to throwing a hissy-fit.
"Rose- evil little- Lily- demon of the... gaaah!" he spluttered in anger. Al couldn't help himself. He exploded with laughter, very hard. After a minute, Rose's concern grew.
"Albie?" she asked with worry. "Are you OK?" Al's laughing subsided to hiccups.
"Fine - hic - Rosie. James' hissy-fit was - hic - hilarious! That's - hic - all!" he snickered. James gave him the evil eye.
"Lily, do yer intend on takin' Care of Magical Creatures next year?" Hagrid asked.
"I do indeed." Lily smiled warmly. "I plan on getting an O in the OWL exam as well."
"Not an 'O' in Herbology, then?" Rose snickered. "Flower expertise... lilies..."
"Oh shut up." Lily responded, cracking a grin. Hagrid chuckled too.
"Rose, I will bet yeh eight Sickles that Lily gets an 'O' in both Magical Creatures an' Herbology at the end of her fifth-year." he said in his gruff voice. Rose smiled.
"We'll see, Hagrid. We'll see." she said. She gave James and Albus secretive looks.
"What's with the looks? And more importantly-" Lily was cut off by Al chuckling and mouthing something to Rose "-do you doubt my intellegence?"
"N to the O." Rose replied. James snickered hugely. Lily huffed.
"How P to the A to the T to the R... oh sod it! How patronising!" she exclaimed. James and Al were on the floor, sobbing with laughter. Lily grabbed two of Hagrid's signature rock-cakes, and knew what she intended to do with them.
"May I?" she asked the grey-haired gamekeeper. He gave her a thumbs-up. The rock-cakes became missiles on impact, signature Lily Luna-style.
"MERLIN!" the Potter boys shrieked in pain, the one intended for James hitting him in the head, and the one intended for Al going for his pelvis.
"Those things are hard!" Al declared. "And it hit me near the jewels!"
"Lily..." Rose trailed, giving her younger cousin a hard look. Lily's face crumpled.
"Sowwy." she squeaked. Al glared at her.
"Be thankful James and Cynthia could've continued the Potter line." he hissed.
"Who says we won't?" James pondered. Hagrid's eyebrows raised.
"Is the rambunctious James Sirius thinkin' of settlin' down?" he asked.
"I've never wanted something rational, but knows?" James responded.
"I think we might have to talk about this, Jamie." Albus and Rose said together.
All James did was retaliate with a cocky smile. Lily suddenly had a light-bulb idea.
"The ball might stop rolling - Cynthia is a Ravenclaw, and it's your sixth-year. NEWT time, remember. Less time for mischief-making." she said with a straight face. Al and Rose had no idea in Merlin how she kept a straight face, but the youngest Potter did.
"Me? Turn down the opportunity for mischief-making? Never, Lils! Helloooo? This is me we're talking about!" James pouted. Lily shrugged in resignation.
"Yeh're just like yer grandfather an' his friends, James. And yer uncles the Weasley twins. Merlin help us, you're the spirits probab'y combined I 'spect." Hagrid chuckled. Rose clutched her hands to her face and mimed screaming.
"Rosie, you look like that famous Muggle painting." Al snickered.
"The Scream? Yes, my mum showed me it, and it's struck a chord with me. Being plagued within a family of horrors." Rose replied. James', Al's and Lily's faces were priceless. "I kid. I love you all, and you know it." the Weasley child smiled.
"Awww." her cousins grinned, enveloping her in a group hug. They would need the warmth from that, however, a few weeks later in Herbology on February 6th.
"Bubotuber pus. Honestly." Rose shuddered. Neville overheard her, though.
"Yes Rose. Bubotuber pus again, and as Professor Sprout said when I did this task in my fourth year, it's extremely valuable, so don't waste it. Wear your dragon-hide gloves - it can do funny things to your skin, Bubotuber pus." he explained.
"Oh joy." Megan Finch-Fletchley mumbled. Neville fought a grim smile.
"Al, don't be a senseless troublemaker and put your gloves on." Rose said. "I don't want to have to carry you to the Hospital Wing." she complained, doing her eye-trick.
"Yes ma'am." Al responded, giving in. Rose smiled. But there was an incident.
"Ahhh!" Annie shrieked, her body shivering in pain. Al had a questioning look.
"Oh, a slight puncture in your gloves. Nothing really to worry about. Episkey." Neville said, his eyes slightly tense when he did the spell. The rest of the day passed without much notable events. The next morning, however, was different as soon as the owls flew in with the mail. A happy shriek sounded from the Ravenclaw table.
"I can't believe it!" Cynthia Goldstein beamed. She was at the lion table in seconds.
"What's up, Cynth?" James pried, seeing the letter in her hand. She beamed wider, handing him it. "You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. George Goldstein and Miss Elizabeth Coote on April 20th, 2020." the eldest Potter read with a smile.
"George... black hair, shares your eyes, a couple of years older than you?" Rose asked. Cynthia nodded vigourously - her closest family member was getting hitched!
"Mm-hm. He and Elizabeth have always been a great couple anyway, but this is happy news I don't think anyone was expecting. Plus I have a gut feeling that Elizabeth will make me a bridesmaid - she's always liked me." she smiled.
"I feel an extra advantage coming on." James smirked. Al and Rose face-palmed.
"He means about how 'wonderful' you'll look in that bridesmaid dress no doubt, Cynthia." Al half-groaned amusedly. James gave him a glare. "What?"
"Rose, I hope you're good at protecting him."
"Why?" Rose asked, but then it dawned on her. "Oh James, don't do anything ra-"
"Langlock!" James exclaimed.
"Protego!" Rose fired. James ended up on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, Al saw Neville raise an eyebrow but stay silent. Although Al could have sworn he saw the Herbology expert mouth 'Weasleys and Potters... are better left alone'. And that set the middle Potter child off into uncontrollable hysterics. Lily gave him a look.
"What Neville mouthed at us when he saw James on the floor." Al explained.
"Which was? C'mon, out with it. What did he mouth?" James asked. Al smiled.
"Weasleys and Potters are better left alone. I think he was considering giving you a talking-to, Roseflower." he said, pulling Rose close to him. Katherine Macmillan happened to pass them at that moment, but didn't say anything. Rose perked up.
"Only a week until Valentine's Day!" she suddenly beamed. Lily beamed also.
"Blooming romantics." James mumbled. Al sighed - his brother had no soul.
"Blooming flowers, more like. Orchideous!" Al cast. Rose's smile split her face when her other half handed her the roses. Cliché though it seem, roses were Rose's favourite flower. But unfortunately for James, this sweet gesture made Cynthia mad.
"James Sirius Potter, how come I never get such affectionate trinkets? Hmmm?!"
"I'm not sure you ever told me your favourite flower." James said defensively.
"Unh! It's pot marigolds." Cynthia sighed, rolling her eyes. James rose his hands.
"Alright, I surrender. I'll make a mental note it's pot marigolds. Only 'cause Al's known Rose forever, he knows best." Lily snorted at that, then snorted some more.
"And before anyone says, my favourite flower is the forget-me-not." she quipped.
"Not the lily?" James said innocently. Lily lunged, determined to squash him.
"Miss Potter?" Neville's calming voice emerged. Lily froze. "No violence."
"Neville, my man! How are things in the greenhouse?!" James exclaimed, trying to give Neville the Muggle 'respect' gesture, something he'd learned from George.
"A well-efficient thirty points from Gryffindor for punching a member of staff, Mr. Potter." Neville said authoritively, but a smirk was threatening to break on his face. "For what?!" James exclaimed as his jaw dropped. Al could feel something big lurk.
"Insolence, that's what." Neville replied. James then dropped the big one.
"INSOLENCE?!" he barked, farting at that moment. McGonagall had arrived by then.
"Yes, Mr. Potter, insolence. Defined as contemptuously rude or impertinent behaviour or speech." McGonagall said, nostrils flaring. It dawned on James.
"Me? Rude? Is that the point you're trying to get into me? Sorry, Headmistress, but you must stop using such big words. It's bad for my poor ol' head. I'm so sorry."
"James Sirius, you're dating a Ravenclaw." Lily pointed out just before another blast.
"POTTER! DETENTION! YOUR CHEEK MUST END! NOW!" McGonagall shrieked.
"Another Walburga Black in the making." James muttered. Neville tapped his arm.
"Mr. Potter, I think it's better you come quietly, and I will repeat what the rather stern Headmistress is bound to say to you - your detention will begin this minute in her office." the Professor said, no shine in his eyes. McGonagall nodded mutely. James, knowing when he'd beaten, did indeed come quietly. Lily and Cynthia shrugged.
"It was bound to happen eventua- oh Merlin what's THAT?" Lily exclaimed.
"Oh Merlin indeed, I think James left the lingering smell of methane here." Al said.
"Lovely. Absolutely spiffing." Lily, Rose and Cynthia all chorused. Al chuckled.
"I know. He gets the award for being the most gross, disgusting, horrid, sickly-"
"That's my boyfriend you're criticising, you imbeciles!" Cynthia barked, a mix of admiration, anger and pure defensive streak shining in her fern-green eyes.
"Very nice insults. Your Ravenclaw brain never leaves you." Rose half-smiled.
"Says the girl whose mother was nearly sorted with the eagles." Cynthia retorted.
"I think your glorious mind skipped past Rosie's compliment." Al said.
"Hey, where's Lily?" Rose asked, noticing that the smaller redhead wasn't there.
"Ravenclaw table." Cynthia said, skimming the Hall. "I feel a win coming."
"You never know. Lysander might feel something first if Lily chickens out." Al said.
"They're twelve." Rose pointed out. "Puppy love at best. Then again..." she realised.
"You started getting feelings for me at thirteen." Al finished. Rose beamed at him.
"I will refrain from saying something." Cynthia muttered. Rose gave her a look.
"You just spoke." the Gryffindor girl smirked. Cynthia muttered something again.
"Touché." Al laughed. Cynthia nearly screamed, but settled for a dignified huff.
"You people are impossible!" she exclaimed, glaring at them.
"What a pretty picture." Al said ironically. He was hit by an exclaimation of 'Wha?' from Cynthia and a rather angry shout of 'Excuse me?' from Rose.
"Firstly, are you trying to hit on your brother's girlfriend, and secondly, and most important." Rose started to growl. "Are you implying that I'm not pretty?"
"Not at all Rosie, my dear Roseflower. I love you. And you're gorgeous, you know it." Al said lovingly. Rose's knees went weak at the following kiss on the forehead. "I have the power to solve everything." Al smirked. Rose socked him on the shoulder.
"I think I'm going to be physically sick." Cynthia muttered, just as Lily came back.
"Why?" Lily asked. Cynthia just looked in Rose's direction. Lily nodded. Rose glared.
"Anyway, I'm off. A perfect opportunity to switch tables, Lils." Cynthia grinned.
"Not until you apologise for the 'physically sick' remark!" Rose called. But her holler fell on deaf ears. "Hmph." she pouted, lower lip and all. Lily giggled and Al smiled.
"Stop pouting." Al laughed. Rose continued to pout. "I know how to make that go." he smiled with adoration as he stroked the right side of his cousin's face from her hairline to her chin. Rose let out a loving giggle. Lily pulled an obnoxious face.
"Now I'm going to be physically sick." she said. "Badly. What spell did Uncle Ron want to use on Scorpius' dad back in their second year? Seriously!" she demanded.
"Oh, for that, we have revenge planned." Rose said evilly, thinking something up quick as a flash. Al looked at her. She whispered something, and then Al had an equally evil look on his face, trying not to cackle dangerously. Oh Merlin Lily thought, racing off. "Cheeky coward!" Rose shouted. "Lily Luna Potter you will pay!"
"Are we really going to wreak the revenge you plotted?" Albus pondered.
"Of course. Jamie-dear will no doubt help us, will he not?" Rose queried.
"Chances are that he will. It's at his sister's expense. And much as we love Lily, we also love taking the light-hearted mickey out of her." Al replied. "But keep it quiet."
"Duh." Rose rolled her eyes and kissed him. "How did you become such a swell kisser? Answer me that, Albus Severus Potter, before I lock lips once more."
"Your lips are just too good, and I had to try to hit a great standard to please you."
"Albie..." Rose said, her brown eyes watering with happiness. "You sap."
"I couldn't be happier, you make me the lovable sap you adore." Al said sincerely. Four days later, Cynthia walked into the Great Hall, but it irked Al and Rose.
"What's that stench?" Rose pondered. James, next to her, grinned and laughed.
"Even though your pranking side came through, thank you." Cynthia said fondly, hugging and kissing James. "You kept the mental note." she chuckled sweetly.
"So that's the stench! Pot marigolds!" Rose said. "What did you do, James?"
"He triggered a load of them to rain on me as soon as I got up." Cynthia answered for him. "I'm guessing a little pre-Valentine surprise?" James nodded.
"Lo and behold, he has emotions!" Al cried, pointing at his brother.
"After just over nine months you'd think so." Rose grinned. James gave a dirty look.
"I care in my relationship with Cynth!" he pouted. Cynthia smiled.
"I know you do." she grinned lovingly. "I'll never forget that Tuesday. You bought me a tin of heart-shaped Honeydukes to show you definitely liked me."
"Oh BLEURGH!" Al and Rose pretended to vomit. Cynthia threw them a look.
"Unhhh..." the Ravenclaw moaned. It hit Rose over the head.
"You're right Cynthia. That was wrong of us, we're sorry." she apologised.
"Yeah, sorry you two." Al said guiltily, and he truly looked it.
"It's OK. Right, Cynth?" James asked, even though he was still a bit narked.
"I s'pose. But Al and Rose are now our slaves." Cynthia smirked evilly. This comment fuelled bursts of outrage from the aforementioned couple.
"You've been spending too much time with him." Rose growled, jerking her thumb in James' direction. Cynthia leaned into James and shook her head with a smile.
"You two are bad enough. Hypocrites." James said, his face caught between a grin at the feel of Cynthia on his shoulder and a scowl at Al and Rose being gits.
"What are our first... tasks as your minions, dare I ask?" Al pondered, ignoring Rose's cry of 'Al! You can't be serious! Us, slaves to them! We'll be screwed!'
"Well... first, Al, you have to feed Rose to the Acromantula in the Forbidden Forest-" James said with a completely serious face, not one muscle spasm betraying it.
"Eeeeehhhh?" Rose squeaked in horror - the poor girl was as white as a sheet, and took off like a rocket. Al stared for a second, then glared back at James.
"You unfeeling git. You know about Rose's fear." he glared, his eyes blazing with cold fury, turning an unsettling shade of bottle-green. James gulped. And wordlessly, Albus took off to find his other half. Luckily, he had a feeling where she'd be. The previous Easter at the Burrow, Harry had told Albus were all the infamous secret passages were, because, and he quoted 'your most mischievous uncles gave me the Marauder's Map in my third year'. George had given Harry and Al a smile afterwards. Al and Rose had memorised the passages immediately, and Rose's favourite was, ironically, the one-eyed witch passage on the third floor - Al had laughed, considering Hermione's whining in her first year about the third floor. As fast as his legs could take him, Al was sprinting to the one-eyed witch.
"Dissendium." he muttered, tapping the statue with his wand. "Rosie?" he asked. Rose responded with a sniff. "Roseflower?" Al asked tenderly, climbing in.
"Al..." she whispered. "A-ac-acromantula." she whispered again in a strangled tone.
"There's nothing to worry, my flower." Al said, pulling her onto his lap.
Rose buried her head in the crook of his neck, and Al hugged her. "There, there."
"I-I know, and you make m-me feel safe, b-but when it comes to..." Rose sputtered.
"I understand." Al smiled, loving the exquisite feel of Rose's head in his neck crook.
"J-James is an idiot. I-I hope Cynthia wh-whacks some sense into him." Rose said.
"No argument from me on that one. He crossed a line there." Al replied, stroking Rose's hair, and feeling her smile as he did so. "James knows about your fear-"
"-yet he disregarded it. Did you see the serious expression on his face?" Rose's muffled voice came. Al nodded, an uncharacteristically dark look on his own face.
"He'll pay for freaking my Roseflower out." he muttered in a low voice. "The one who matters the most to me, night and day, any situation. Rosie, you come first before anyone. You always did as a cousin and a best friend, and now, of course, as more than that. I love you Roseflower, forever and day." Al's face changed to a smile as Rose pulled away to give her other half a blushing grin. "Awww." Al crooned.
"Stoppit." Rose mumbled, rubbing his jaw. "Just promise me one thing."
"Anything for you." Al replied, his bright emeralds giving her his word.
"Give James a taste of his own medicine for scaring me." And with that, Al nodded.
AN: Life's been bogging me down with writer's block, but it was worth it because I ended up with this beaut. Oh, James is in for it now. Speaking of whom, I gave a little insight into his and Cynthia's relationship for those are curious, because a part of me was when I looked at this story as an outsider. The 'moderate canon characters' were McGonagall and Hagrid, because I don't write our favourite Transfiguration teacher very much at all, and I've never written Hagrid. Speaking of McGonagall, her definition of insolence when she's grilling James is copied word-for-word straight off of . Search it, I'm not joking.
