Thanks for your reviews. There's still a gaping chasm between the number of hits I've received, and the number of reviews, but I'm learning to deal with it.

This chapter, you'll start to get a better idea of where this fic is headed, emotionally and geographically. Still no shirtless Jack, but the possibility is raised, once you see where they're going. I've never been there myself, so I'll be relying on research, but if you have and have any ideas or information, let me know.

I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter, particularly the idea of Sawyer silently cheering them on -- I figure that he'd help Kate escape, so he'd be impressed that Jack had the guts to do it too.

And don't worry, there will be plenty of conflict -- as you can see, Kate thinks Jack is making a mistake, but he won't listen to her, so she's sort of waiting for him to realise it on his own. He wasn't exactly thinking rationally when he made the decision to run, so once the romance wears off, and he realises what Kate's lifestyle entails, he'll probably begin to understand why she was so opposed to the idea.

Anyway, let me know what you think. I know life jackets aren't sexy, but Jack's a responsible guy, and besides, it would kind of suck if they went to all that trouble to escape, then fell overboard and drowned.


Chapter 9. Second Thoughts

Since they hadn't agreed on a destination, they slowed down once they'd left the island, safer now that they were out of sight of the rescuers. Jack reduced the sails, and they just drifted along with the breeze for a while, letting their adrenaline levels return to normal.

Once the immediate threat was over, he made Kate put on a life jacket, slipping it gently over her head. He was so close to her as he adjusted the straps that he didn't seem to be able to resist more substantial contact, bringing his lips down to kiss her once he'd finished doing up the buckles. She decided that if she was going to have to wear one, so was he, so she helped him into his, drawing it out in a similar way, and then, checking the knots on the sails, he went to sit on the side of the deck.

All of the fight seemed to go out of him as he rolled up his jeans, dangling his legs over the side, his eyes travelling back in the direction of the island. Watching him closely, Kate saw his expression change from triumphant and relieved, to one she knew only too well. It was the same one she'd seen on his face when Joanna drowned, when Claire was kidnapped, when Boone died… he was beating himself up, criticising himself for the decisions he'd made, the way she knew his father had when he was alive.

Leaving the wheel, she sat down beside him, as close as she could without unbalancing the port side. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he agreed, avoiding her eyes, still staring back the way they'd come. There was nothing but water for miles around now; Kate wasn't even sure which direction they were travelling in.

"But you're having second thoughts," she supplied for him. He looked at her apologetically, so she added, "It's okay, I knew you would. That's why I tried to talk you out of it."

"I don't regret this – us," he corrected her, taking her hand, and lacing his fingers gently through hers, as he pulled it towards him. He stared down at their hands in his lap as he tried to add casually, "I just… I was their leader for so long. I feel like I should have been the one talking to the rescue crew, but at the time, all I could think of was you."

Kate didn't know what to say to that exactly, so she leaned over and kissed him softly, resting her forehead against his. "It's okay to be selfish sometimes," she told him, hating to see him so burdened by this, but at the same time, knowing that it was part of the reason she loved him. "You're only human – you did what you thought you had to." When he didn't look any less troubled, she added, "Don't worry about the others – Sayid will look after them."

He gave her a weak smile, and even though he didn't say anymore on the subject, she could tell it was still weighing on his mind. He'd brood on it for hours now, but he wouldn't talk about it, letting it fester until it kept him up at night. She wished he would just let her share in his troubles, the way she'd finally allowed him to share in hers. Their relationship was supposed to be give and take, but so far, she felt like she was the one who'd done all the taking, while he added the weight of her burdens onto his own.

She never got the chance to tell him any of this though, because he shifted away, turning back towards the ocean. When he looked at her again, he was grinning, trying to appear upbeat as he changed the subject to something more neutral. "So," he said, his voice oddly casual, not matching the guilt she could still see in his eyes, "if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?"

She didn't really want to play this game, hypothetically, or otherwise, but she couldn't make him open up to her, so she decided to drop it, at the risk of starting a fight. "I don't know," she said, considering the question. It was one she'd asked herself too many times before, each time she was forced to run. "I was going to go to Bali before the marshal caught up with me," she confessed.

"Bali," he repeated, looking thoughtful. "I've never been, but I've heard they have some great resorts."

"I wouldn't have taken you for a resort kind of guy, Jack," she said, amused, and a little turned on, by the image of him basking shirtless by the pool. Maybe Bali wasn't such a bad idea after all.

He looked embarrassed as he admitted, "I'm not really. I got married in Hawaii, but that was Sarah. She wanted the whole beach wedding."

Kate didn't know what to say to that, so she let it hang there, waiting for him to change the subject. While she'd accepted that he'd been with other women before her, it still wasn't something she wanted to dwell on.

"I bet Bali's not too far from here," he said, taking her silence as a cue to return to their previous topic. "We could find it if you want, take a look around, maybe even stay there over Christmas. Then, once we've seen everything there is to see, or we get sick of it, we can go someplace else. I never really got the chance to see Australia properly."

His mood had lightened considerably, so Kate decided to let his issues slide. For now. The subject of his second thoughts would come up again, and soon, she knew, but he seemed to be enjoying this moment of freedom, so she decided not to ruin it by reminding him of his doubts.

"Okay," she agreed, warming to the prospect of spending their first holiday together. She'd always thought it would be on the island, with the others, but as long as she was with him, it didn't really matter. Nothing did, except maybe the sense of foreboding she felt when she caught him unaware. His smile faded then, only returning when he realised she was looking at him. Knowing she'd seen him, he'd make some show of affection, or say something light-hearted to distract her, but she couldn't forget how unhappy he looked already.

He retrieved a pile of maps from the cabin, and they spent the next hour pouring over them, getting their bearings, until they were pretty sure they knew which direction they needed to head in.

Satisfied that, if the wind kept up, they would be in Bali by the next afternoon at the latest, they returned to their posts: Jack at the sails, and Kate at the tiller, working together to bring the boat on step closer to their destination.