Chapter Nine: Let the Doubter Laugh

"No, you have to align the matrices before you can connect them," Naruto said, absently rubbing the chalk off of his face. "No- yeah, like that."

Sakura reached up, standing on her tiptoes to circle the connection point with chalk. "But it looks to me like whether it's aligned or not is all in your head," she pointed out. "Aren't you marking a false objectivity?"

"What? Of course-" Naruto frowned. "No. Wait, hang on."

"You marked the axis at the beginning," Sasuke pointed out. He had abandoned his window seat for one closer to the blackboard, where he could better see the messy diagram that his teammates had marked out. "With the foundation seal."

"Yeah, but then we added the stipulation here that reversed the effect," Sakura pointed out, too distracted to blush in Sasuke's presence. "That rendered the axis unreliable."

"No, no. Jeez, don't you listen?" Naruto snatched the chalk from here and scribbled something illegible to the left of the diagram. "You keep forgetting that we added this binding- so the axis isn't transient, like the ignition sequence."

Sasuke frowned. "I thought the fifth sequence negated the effects—oh, I see. The part at the end is a restrictive clause."

"But why?" Sakura asked impatiently

"That comes into effect with the seventh matrix," Naruto explained brightly. "We haven't gotten to that yet, but it'll all make sense in a second."

The door slid open quietly.

Engrossed in their debate, none of them heard Kakashi step into the classroom.

"Well, why didn't you explain that sooner?" Sakura was asking irritably. "We spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out that self-referential clause in the second sequence when you could have cleared it all up by telling us about the seventh."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows matrices build inwards."

That was when Sasuke glanced up and saw Kakashi.

If he was startled, he didn't show it. "Hey, he's here."

"Sensei!" Sakura dropped the chalk and spun around.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," Kakashi said dryly. "By all means, continue."

Naruto stretched lazily. "No- we won't get anywhere indoors," he decided. "I've gotta show you the full ignition sequence before we try analyzing the barrier seal."

Sakura elbowed him. "Naruto, be polite."

"But I-" He fell silent under her stern look. "Yes, ma'am."

"You are our jounin-sensei, right?" Sakura asked. "Kakashi Hatake?"

"Ah, yes. Sorry I'm late. It's a long and interesting story, but-"

"No, no, it's fine. Kurenai-sensei warned us you wouldn't be here for a while." She glanced at the clock. "Actually, you're here a good ten minutes before we guessed you would be."

"Right," Kakashi agreed without missing a beat. "Wonderful. Well, I'll see you on the roof in three minutes."

And then he vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Show-off," Naruto muttered.

"You're one to talk," Sakura retorted. "Come on, we've got to wipe down the blackboard before we go up or Iruka-sensei will have our heads, genin or not."


"And then he was all like, 'And don't bother eating, you'll only puke it up'!" Naruto said furiously. "I should have known he'd be a total jerk- he buys your books after all."

Jiraiya winced. "Low blow, kid."

"Well, it's true. He was reading Icha Icha Paradise while we were introducing ourselves. Who does that? I know exactly which page he was on, too, which just makes it worse." Naruto made a face. "Halfway through chapter nine. And he was giggling!"

"Not bad taste," Jiraiya noted. "It's not as good as chapter twelve, but I do seem to recall being quite inspired when I wrote chapter nine. Especially the part where the heroine visits the Land of Snow only to discover that her target was secretly her former teammate and they-"

"Ugh, Jiji, I'm eating," Naruto protested. "No talking about smut at dinner, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Jiraiya shrugged. Then he frowned. "Wait, why are you eating if he told you not to?"

Naruto looked offended. "Who do you think you're talking to? I have a stomach of iron."

"That you do," Jiraiya agreed. "But still, it doesn't look good if you eat when your commanding officer told you not to. He could have a reason he didn't tell you for wanting you to show up hungry."

"Like what?" Naruto asked sourly. "To make us miserable?"

"Quite possibly," his godfather agreed seriously. "It is one of the perks of being a jounin-sensei."

"You were my dad's sensei, weren't you?" Naruto asked through a mouthful of rice. "Did you ever torment him just for kicks?"

"Not really," Jiraiya confessed ruefully. "It was never any fun with Minato- he was always one of those infinitely patient types."

"Yeah?"

"It was like kicking a puppy," Jiraiya explained. "He'd take it with a smile and just keep coming back for more. After a while you just start feeling really guilty and give it up."

"I don't wanna be a kicked puppy," Naruto muttered mutinously. "If Kakashi-sensei wants to kick me, I'm gonna kick him back."

"You're welcome to try," Jiraiya said with a shrug. "But you should also keep in mind that he does hold all of the power in the student-teacher relationship and has a legacy of not being afraid to use it."

"You know him, right?" Naruto asked hopefully. "What're his weak points?"

"None you can use," Jiraiya said dryly.

Naruto glared. "This is important! What are you gonna do if I fail?"

"It doesn't matter whether you pass or fail. What matters is that there's a lesson to be learned."

"But he never tells anyone," Naruto grumbled. "That's what Kiba said."

"So maybe it's something you can't learn properly if he tells it to you," Jiraiya suggested innocently. "Maybe it only counts if you figure it out yourselves."

Naruto made a face. "You do know the test," he accused. "And I bet you know the answer, too."

"As it happens I do," Jiraiya said implacably. "Since my sensei had us do the very same exercise, and I had my genin team do it, and your father had his genin team do it, and I firmly expect that if you ever have a genin team, you'll make them do it. That's just how these things work."

"Well, if you passed it, it can't have been too hard," Naruto teased. "Any advice?"

"Just give it your best shot," Jiraiya said with a shrug. "Be yourself."

Naruto nodded- then hesitated.

"But," he said quietly. "What if I do fail?"

His godfather grinned and ruffled the boy's hair. "Who knows? We might visit your friends from the Hidden Grass, or maybe we'll head back to the Land of Iron. Maybe we'll sneak into the Land of Lightning- I've always wanted to try that."

"And then I just- try again?" Naruto made a face. "Like a kicked puppy?"

"You know, your mom took the genin exam four times," Jiraiya said in tones of great nostalgia. "The first time it was because no one could read her handwriting on the written test. The second time she broke four of her sparring partner's ribs before the instructors could intervene."

Naruto whistled, impressed.

"And the third time she cursed out one of the teachers- she really did have the most colorful vocabulary- but in any case, my point is that when she took it for the fourth time she passed."

His godson grinned. "So my mom was awesome."

"And? Does she sound like a kicked puppy to you?"

"Well, no," the blond boy agreed reluctantly. "But I don't want to retake the genin exam four times. That would suck."

"My point," Jiraiya said with a shrug, "Is that people who never give up have a power that's stronger than people who succeed on the first try. You can tell them no a thousand times, but they just keep getting back up- like a force of nature."

"Does that mean I have permission to curse out my teacher?" Naruto asked slyly. "You know, like mom?"

"Certainly not." Jiraiya gave him a mock-stern look. "I would never endorse such vulgarity."

"How did you pass, then?"

"Honestly?" Jiraiya shrugged. "It helped a lot that my sensei was way more forgiving than yours."

"Ugh, thanks for nothing." Naruto slumped, resting his face in his hands. "This sucks. I'm gonna fail and then even if I come back Kiba and Hinata and them are already gonna be ninjas and I'm gonna have to start all over again."

"If you go into it with that mindset, you shouldn't have much trouble," Jiraiya said firmly. "And if they're your friends, they aren't going to forget about you in a year."

Naruto sighed. "Fine."

"Now get some sleep," Jiraiya told him. "You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess." Naruto glanced up. "What about you?"

"I'll be out late. Don't wait up for me."

"All right."

Jiraiya grinned. "You're a good kid."

"Dumb tests," Naruto mumbled. "Stupid village is obsessed with 'em."

"At least you've got a couple of years before you have to take the chunin exams," Jiraiya told him cheerfully. "Look on the bright side."

"Ugh. Can't I just stay a genin forever?"

"Trust me- a few weeks of D-ranks and you'll be begging for a promotion."

"Mph." Naruto pushed himself up. He left his bowl in the kitchen sink and waved sleepily at his godfather. "G'night."

"Good night, brat," Jiraiya said fondly. "Good luck."


Kakashi arrived right on schedule- which was to say, approximately three hours late.

His genin were already there, naturally. He'd instructed them to show up at sunrise, and evidently they'd taken him at his word. Naruto was lying stretched out in the grass with his jacket over his eyes to shield the sun. Sakura was comfortably situated under a tree, with a book, and Sasuke was sharpening his kunai.

It almost seemed a pity that he had to trick them.

But tradition was tradition, even if he had to stand in front of the council and explain why he'd failed the three best graduates of the Academy in one fell swoop.

"Ready to begin?" he asked brightly.

Naruto sat up, yawning. "Morning, Sensei. Glad you're finally here- I think Sasuke was gonna explode if he got any more bored."

"Shut up, Uzumaki," said Sasuke, pocketing his kunai.

Sakura sighed and tucked her book into her bag. "Honestly, Naruto, do you always have to pick fights?"

Kakashi made a mental note of the team dynamic. It was unfortunate that they seemed to be reverting to stereotypes- in the classroom they'd seemed almost promising, working together to solve the problem of the explosive seal. Well, it was probably for the best he didn't get his hopes up. So far he'd only been disappointed.

"Well, playtime's over, kids. Last-minute panic isn't going to help you on this test."

"That's what I've been trying to tell them," Naruto said with a sigh.

Reluctantly, Sakura stood up and brushed the dirt from her knees, leaving her bag under the tree. Naruto rolled to his feet, yawning all the while. Sasuke turned to look at Kakashi, eyes dark.

"Now," Kakashi began. "I have two bells..."


Sakura was horrified.

"But if there are only two bells," she said haltingly, "That means one of us is going to be sent back to the Academy for certain!"

"I see Miss Haruno can count," Kakashi said dryly. "Like I said- this test has only a 66.6% pass rate- at best. Or none of you could get a bell and you'll all be sent back to the Academy in disgrace."

She swallowed, heart pounding.

Sasuke- it would be awful if he got sent back to the Academy- he was the best in the class, and he deserved a promotion more than anyone. If she passed and he failed, he wouldn't just be indifferent to her- he'd resent her. She couldn't take that from him. Not when he wanted it so desperately.

And she couldn't go back to the Academy alone- the bitter humiliation would be too much. After all Iruka-sensei had said about being proud, after all her parents had sacrificed to give her this chance at becoming a ninja, after passing at the top of the class and working so hard- to fail, alone of the entire team- she couldn't let that happen.

But the obvious solution- she and Sasuke, passing together- didn't work either.

Naruto was immature and kind a dork but he'd been her friend- not just when she was tutoring him for the exams, but afterwards too, and he'd tried to teach her how to draw an explosive seal. He'd been determined and he'd taken it seriously and he'd never once mocked her for being an overachiever.

"You can't," she said in horror. "You can't make us fight each other."

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at her in surprise.

Kakashi didn't blink. "Are you forfeiting your chance, then? Giving up doesn't guarantee that your friends will pass- they still have to get one of the bells."

"I- no," she backtracked hastily. "Not at all. It's just- I don't see why one of us has to lose."

"Because I say so," Kakashi said casually. "And I'm in charge."

"But you can't!"

"I can and I am." He glanced at her. "We don't have all day. If you don't have anything constructive to say, do kindly be quiet."

"But-" she hesitated, her stomach twisting. "Sensei, we- I can't just- isn't there another way?"

Kakashi tapped his fingers impatiently. "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You're going to participate in this exercise."

"Please, just- can't we, I don't know- I-"

"Are you disobeying a direct order, Sakura Haruno?"

No, of course not.

But-

Yes was the word that rose in her throat, but she couldn't say it, not to a teacher- She was a good student, an obedient student. That was what her mother always said- 'My good girl'- and she couldn't just argue with him.

Absently, some detached part of her realized her knees were shaking.

"Hey, leave her alone!" Naruto said, angry and defensive.

"Quiet, Uzumaki," Kakashi said coolly. "I'm asking a question. All she has to do is answer and we'll move on with the test."

"Of course she's going to take the test," Sasuke said, and his voice was angry too. "She earned her promotion, and she's got the right to defend it."

Sakura was trembling.

Her face was hot and there was a lump in her throat, and she hated, always hated that she cried at the drop of a hat, because it made her seem like a weakling when really she wasn't afraid, just...

"Sakura," Kakashi said impatiently. "I'm not going to make you take the test."

She blinked at him, bewildered. "Really?"

"You can quit, give up. Just leave your headband with me and go home."

He held out his hand.

Sakura thought she might vomit.

And somehow, still, her mouth wouldn't open. She couldn't make herself speak, even to say the easy, easy words that would save her and let her keep her hard-earned headband for even just a few more hours.

"This isn't the Academy. We don't have time to waste on weak-willed children, so make up your mind."

Naruto and Sasuke were looking at her, tense and worried. Worried for her, and she couldn't agree to fight them, no matter how stupid and ridiculous and weak a thought it was.

"Sakura," Kakashi said impatiently, fingers twitching. "Either take the test or give me your headband. Now."

Just say yes, Inner Sakura urged her. You earned this. Don't you dare give up.

She shook her head, and realized to her horror that she was crying.

"Stop it," Sasuke said, and for a moment she though he was talking to her, but no, he was glaring at Kakashi- "You don't know what she sacrificed to get here."

"She's just freaked out," Naruto agreed, but he was glancing at her worriedly. "Come on, Sakura-chan, we can handle this."

She let out a choked laugh.

"You can't cry your way out of this," the jounin said coldly. "You're just being a petulant child."

"Fine," she croaked. "Fine."

And she reached trembling hands up, past her shoulders, behind her neck. Numbly, she tugged at the knot that she had so carefully tied that morning, standing in front of the mirror and adjusting it until it was perfectly straight.

The knot came loose. Her arms fell to her her sides, and she clenched a trembling fist around the metal- so hard that it would mark her skin.

Kakashi watched her, inscrutable.

"Sakura, don't," Naruto begged her. "We can work something out, I promise."

She took a few stumbling steps forward, beyond any semblance of gracefulness- but it didn't matter now, did it, because she didn't have to try to impress Sasuke anymore.

And she pressed her headband into Kakashi's palm.

"I'm sorry," she said voice trembling. And let go.

She didn't want to turn and look at the others- not when Naruto shouted, not even when Sasuke called her name, low and urgent.

She grabbed her bag from where it lay to the side of the training ground. Pulled the strap over her shoulder.

Began, at last, the long, lonely walk home.


Naruto stared at Sakura in disbelief as she, blotchy-faced from crying, pressed her wadded-up headband into Kakashi's open palm. He willed her to turn around, to change her mind, to take her headband back from Kakashi.

Her thin shoulders hunched as she walked away from the training field.

And Naruto snapped. "Screw you, sensei."

"She made her choice," Kakashi said flatly. "I don't have time to teach genin who won't obey orders. Now, you'll have two hours to try to take the bell from me- and thanks to your teammate giving up, you both have a chance at passing-"

"No, seriously, screw you." Naruto didn't bother untying his headband, just tugged it off in one motion. "And screw this stupid village with its stupid secret tests, okay? Because you know what? You just sent away the smartest girl in the whole village."

He tossed his headband at the jounin's feet.

"I don't care what Jiji says," he spat. "If the Hidden Leaf is going to take a brilliant, talented, hard-working genin and turn her away because she won't hurt her friends, I'm leaving for Sand and never coming back."

Kakashi folded his arms.

"I agree." And that was Sasuke, calmly untying his own headband. "I could never learn anything from a fool like you."

"Both of you?"

They glared at him- united in fury and disgust.

Kakashi shrugged. "So much for your lofty ambitions. To be honest, I expected greater things from you two. But then, I imagine avenging the Uchiha clan can wait."

Sasuke stared the jounin down contemptuously. "Itachi betrayed the people who trusted him," he said coldly. "I don't intend to be like him."

Naruto tensed, waiting for anger or punishment or something.

Kakashi smiled.


Sakura was crying as she unlatched the gate to the training field.

What would she ever say to her parents? They wouldn't understand- they'd be furious she disobeyed her instructor. It was one thing if she'd tried and failed, but just refusing a direct order- and then there was another year of equipment they'd have to buy for her, when she could have been bringing home mission fees- even just the D-rank fee of 500 ryo a day would have lessened the burden. Iruka-sensei would understand, but he couldn't do anything to help her-

"Sakura- Sakura!"

A hand touched her shoulder, and she turned, startled.

"K-Kakashi-sensei?" she asked, wiping her face hurriedly. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her. "What are you doing here?"

"Sakura," he said, and his voice was calm and sincere. "I'm sorry for upsetting you-"

She shoved him away, suddenly furious. "I'm not sorry!" she snapped, not caring that her voice cracked. "And I don't want an apology- and- and I'd do it again, I don't care if I get sent back to the Academy-"

"I know," Kakashi said. "I'm proud of you."

She stared, gaping like a beached fish. "What?"

"You passed the test," he said. "In exemplary fashion, I should add."

She had to be dreaming. This was all too surreal. "But I-I didn't take the test," she said, shaking her head dumbly. "I gave you my headband. I gave up."

"You put your teammates before your orders," Kakashi corrected. "Even when it meant sacrificing your future and everything you worked for. Even when it meant looking your superior in the eye and saying no."

Sakura thought she might start crying again.

"I'm sorry I had to lie," Kakashi said sincerely. "I said things that hurt you and I'm sorry for that. I was cheering you on the whole time. And you didn't disappoint me."

"It was all a lie?" she whispered, bewildered. "But- why?"

"You know, I've had six genin teams assigned to me," Kakashi said slowly. "Some of them hated each other- they'd start fighting at the drop of a hat, no credit to me. Others- they honestly liked each other and trusted each other. But still, every single time I told them the rules, even if they complained or said it wasn't fair- not one of them had the courage to say no."

"That's horrible," she said, indignant. "They're kids. Of course they're going to do what you say."

The jounin shook his head. "It's a lesson they needed to learn."

"But-"

"Sakura," he said. "Do you know what your Academy files say about you?"

She shook her head cautiously.

"That you're always obedient and respectful, that you don't form strong bonds with others, that you've broken off friendships due to your competitiveness." He shook his head. "You are the last person I would expect to disobey- and yet here we are."

"I'm not brave," Sakura blurted out. "I was terrified. I think- I think I still am."

"But there was an easy way out," Kakashi reminded her. "And you didn't take it."

"Naruto and Sasuke-" she said in realization. "They pass too, right? They deserve it, both of them- you can't fail them-"

She paused- distantly, it seemed, she could hear the sound of a boy shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs.

"I don't think you have to worry," Kakashi's clone said, amused. "It sounds like your teammates are doing quite well."


"You dirty lying-" Naruto paused for breath. "You said all those horrible things to Sakura and you didn't even mean them? What kind of wackjob screws with kids just for kicks? I oughta-"

"Calm down," Sasuke told his teammate icily, not taking his eyes off of the jounin. "I'm sure Kakashi-sensei will apologize exhaustively. Won't you?"

"Of course." Kakashi told them, smiling cheerfully. "You know, I can safely say that I quite like you guys."

"I really can't say the same," Sasuke muttered through gritted teeth.

"Can I please punch him?" Naruto begged. "He is just begging to be punched, I can't be the only one who wants to punch him."

Sasuke scowled. "Don't tempt me."

"Ah," Kakashi said, standing. "And here is the injured party."

Sakura was approaching them, accompanied by another Kakashi- a clone. She wasn't crying anymore, but her eyes were still clearly red and her greeting smile was tentative and weak.

"Hi, guys," she said in a wobbly voice. "I guess we made it."


"So, it looks like you made it," Jiraiya congratulated him when he returned to the apartment. "How'd it go? You don't look like you got knocked around too badly. Did you do your old man proud?"

Naruto bared his teeth in a grin. "I cussed out my jounin-sensei."

Jiraiya didn't even blink. "And did he deserve it?"

"Oh, absolutely."

"That's my boy," Jiraiya said proudly. "You always did take after your mom."

"That's probably for the best," Naruto decided.

"Yeah. C'mon, let's get some ramen to celebrate. My treat."

"Awesome!" Naruto cheered. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around."


Chapter 10: Where the Whirlpool Goes: Team Seven's first days as genin are more than hectic. For Naruto, there's starting fuuinjutsu practice and going on less-than-impressive missions. For his teammates- what's this 'tree-climbing' exercise you keep going on about?

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