~Lizzy~
"Norma Halliway, right?" I glance up at Keith's sudden question but the look on his face makes it clear it wasn't his first time asking that question.
"Yeah. Dad's name was Jacob." I mumble from the floor as I lean back on the wall behind Keith's chair.
The clicking of whatever passes for the keyboard fills my ears and I fight the urge to cover my ears like a five-year. I want to tell Keith to stop. There's no point in finding the details. But the words stick in my throat when I see their faces pop up in the screen.
"That's them." I grip Keith's seat tightly-not realizing until now I've stood up.
Their smiling faces stare up at me and I see the mark of time on their faces.
So this is what they would have looked like when I would have grown up.
There they are. Stuck in a time where they were alive and well.
"Ehm...they are buried twenty miles from here." He tells me. "We can be there in three minutes."
No. Not yet.
Suddenly I'm desperate to find someone-anyone- still alive.
"Try Alejandra Garcia, my cousin. Or Becky Sanders. Please."
He types Alejandra's name and several faces pop up. I gasp when I recognize one of them.
"You look just like your mom." My not-so-little cousin looks back at me in a frozen smile. "Is she..."
"She's alive." He interrupts me quickly. "She's got five kids with her husband. It says here..."
I look at the screen and my heart twists painfully. I grip the seat so tightly I lose feeling in my fingers.
"She named her eldest Lizzette." I croak. "Lizzy for short."
I shut my eyes tightly.
"Becky. Try Becky." I manage.
A few more clicking later, he clears his throat. I open my eyes and am confronted with a picture that is so clearly my friend that my eyes blur. I blink rapidly to read what it says.
"She married a Henry." I mutter while I imprinting her face into my memory. Keith shifts so he can look at me straight on.
"Lizzy...we can visit these people." He begins. "You can live here if you want, see them after all this time. We'll set up everything you need. You can be a part of your friends and family's life again-"
"No... That's not fair-not to them. Just drop me off wherever. It doesn't matter."
"You can come with us." He says quietly. "To Arus. Start a new life."
What? I shake my head.
"You're kidding. Move a whole planet? That's insane."
"It's up to you. Sleep on it today, we'll talk about it in the morning." Keith says standing up.
"What? You can't just say something like that and then expect me to sleep!" He opens a container in the wall and pulls out several blankets.
"This is a big decision, Lizzy. You can't make it on the spur of the moment- not when you're like this." Anger burns a hole in the numbness and I glare at him.
"You have no idea how I feel, Keith. How long have you known me, two days? I am...functional enough."
"No, I may not know how you feel, but I know how you look. Right now, you look worse than how you did when we rescued you from the Galra ship." He speaks firmly with no room for a protest and hands me a blanket. "We'll speak tomorrow." He says not unkindly.
All at once, the anger floods out and I discover that I am beyond exhausted. He's right, I think grudgingly, I can't even think straight. I watch him set his blanket several feet away from mine and wish I was like him-nothing fazes him. How does he do it?
"Tomorrow." I tell him.
"Tomorrow." He agrees.
"Maybe tomorrow will be our new always." I mumble as I spread the blanket on the floor and lay on it.
"What?"
"Nothing. 'M guess you had to be there." My head hits the floor and I am out.
When I wake up, it's still dark outside. For a second, I forget where I am and then everything comes flooding back again.
` The lump on my throat is the size of a golf-ball but I hold it in. As quietly as I can, I step over Keith and make my way outside.
The stars, although not as bright as the ones I have grown use to, still look breathtaking in the clear night. Red lays vigilant overlooking the vast desert. We traveled deeper into the desert yesterday to avoid detection from the locals. Locals. Did I really just use such an alienated term to describe my previous fellow citizens? I feel the chasm between me and them expand even further.
"Hey Red." I whisper to the lion. "Mind if I sit here?"
As expected, there's no answer so I just sit next to her.
"My parents are gone." I tell her after a few minutes. "They...you probably don't even have parents. But they mean-meant...a lot to me. I loved them. I guess I'ma have to get used to speaking in past terms."
The damn breaks and I start crying. I cry for the friends and family I never got to grow up with. For the thirty-six damn years I lost. Thirty-six years that could have been filled with my loved ones. With my mom-my beloved mom- who was always proud of me, no matter what. My dad who pushed me to be the best version of me.
"What am I going to do?" I sniffle after what seems like forever.
If I stay, there's no one I know. Not anymore. I could start over. Alone.
If I leave, there will be no going back. This is my last chance to reconnect. I could start over. Live in a new world.
I stand back up and head inside, careful not to wake Keith as I lay back down.
Tomorrow, I think. I'll decide tomorrow.
