Mike Logan sat alone at the bar, waiting. He didn't have too long to wait. He didn't look at his friend when he eased his large frame onto the bar stool beside him and ordered a scotch. Logan continued to look into his beer, still waiting. But the man beside him remained silent. "You look like shit. Rough week?" Logan finally asked.

"You could say that."

"I heard you have the flu."

"Whatever. I don't give a damn what they say."

He took a drink of his beer and sighed. "Yeah, I know. That's why I let 'em think whatever they want to. They just tell me to shut up anyway. I never know what I'm talking about."

"Has...Denise been in?"

"Do you care?"

Logan felt the tension without even looking at Goren. Finally, Goren answered, "I don't suppose I have any right to care. But, yes, I do."

"What the hell happened anyway?"

"She...fell in love."

That made Logan look at him, finally. "And that's a capital crime, huh?"

Goren sighed impatiently. "She needs to find herself a good man who can love her the way she deserves to be loved, and stop wasting her time and affection on me."

"Does she think that?"

He shrugged. "I didn't ask."

"Please don't tell me we're going back to one night stands. I don't think I can take that."

"Then don't."

"Come on, man. That's not your style and you know it. What the hell's wrong with Denise? She's a good woman."

"That's what's wrong."

"What? She's too good for you?"

"She deserves to be loved, and I don't have it in me to love her."

"Eames ruined you for other women?"

He had no idea what happened, but Logan found himself on the floor, bleeding from his lower lip. Above him, two men restrained Goren, but he wasn't struggling. Logan got to his feet and waved them off. "Let him go, guys. We're all right."

Logan got back on his barstool and wiped the blood from his chin with a cocktail napkin. "Asshole." He looked at the reticent man sitting beside him. "I have no idea what she sees in you. You're moody and difficult. Are you really that damn good in bed?"

Goren looked at him, eyebrows raised, and Logan cut him off. "If you offer to show me, I'll deck you. Look, man, I think you're an idiot. She can make you happy."

"No, she can't, and that's what's not fair."

"Are you afraid that Eames will keep Maggie away if you find someone else?"

A look of sudden panic touched Goren's face. "Do you think she would?"

"No, dumbass, I don't. No one makes that kid's face light up like you do. I thought you said Denise and Maggie like each other."

"They do."

"So...what? You don't like Denise?"

"I like her very much."

"Too much?"

He shook his head. "No. Not enough."

"In whose estimation? Did you even discuss it with her? Or do you just plan on making everyone miserable because you are? Seems to me she was content with the way things were."

"What do you know about it?"

"Only what she told me, pal."

"What she...? When did she talk to you?"

"Last night. She cares about you, man. She wants to be with you, even if you can't love her the way you think you should. You can't rape the willing, stupid. But you can hurt the hell out of 'em by being an ass."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I know all about being an ass, Goren. And I know I'm getting tired of being a sounding board for the women you fucking walk all over."

Goren stood up, dropped a five on the bar and said, "Fuck you, Logan."

He left the bar and Logan let him go, hoping he'd gotten through to him. Sometimes it took a gentle shove; other times it took a sledgehammer touch. He was getting pretty good at knowing which to use. He finished his drink, dropped a bill on the bar and, with a wave to the bartender, left the pub.


Logan wasn't surprised not to hear from Goren over the remainder of the weekend. And since Eames usually didn't make contact with her partner on the weekend, she didn't call him in a panic when she couldn't find him either. Sometimes, the guy needed time alone to get his head on straight, and that was what Logan surmised he was doing. If he didn't turn up Monday morning, then he'd worry, but he fully expected to see him at his desk when he got there Monday morning, looking like something the cat dragged in.

He really did enjoy hanging out with Goren, but he hated it when he got into a funk, which was where he was right now. Sometimes it took a hard line to shake him out of it, and Logan hoped that the line he'd used was hard enough. Come Monday morning, he'd know for certain.


Denise sat on her couch late Sunday night, her robe pulled tight around her, both hands wrapped around a cup of chamomile tea. It had not been a good weekend for her. After talking with Mike Logan Friday night, she'd felt no better. Bobby wasn't in a good place emotionally, and she wanted to help him, but he didn't seem to want help. She didn't know what to do, and Logan had no idea what to tell her. She knew that Mike and Bobby were close, and if Mike had no idea what she could do, how was she supposed to know how to reach him? The only thing she knew for certain was that she didn't want to give up on him.

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
More heaven than a heart could hold.
And if I tried to save him
My whole world could cave in
Just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?

When the doorbell rang, she was surprised. It was late, and she wasn't expecting any visitors. Setting her tea down, she muted the television and looked out the peephole. Surprised, she pulled the door open. "What are you doing here, Bobby?"

He had the decency to look ashamed. "I know it's late...but... Can we talk, Denise? Please?"

She nodded and stepped out of the doorway. "Come in. You look awful. Are you okay?"

"I, um, I haven't been sleeping."

Turning off the television, she watched him shift nervously in the center of the room. "Sit down. I'm not going to chase you around the room."

When he sat on the couch, she sat beside him, tucking her legs beneath her and pulling her robe around her. She waited patiently while he organized his thoughts and sought a way to put them into words.

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Finally, he looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I...The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you. I should have talked to you about this before I decided what was best for you."

She nodded in agreement. "That would probably have been a better way to approach this, yes."

"Denise, you...you deserve a good man who can love you in return. I...I can't do that."

"I know. And it doesn't matter to me. Maybe there is someone out there for me, but I haven't found him yet. I know we aren't exclusive, and I know...I know you are in love with someone else. I do love you, Bobby, but I shouldn't have said it. I am sorry for that, but I'm not sorry for how I feel."

He studied his hands. "I'm sorry that I can't be the man you're looking for. My emotions are all screwed up, and I don't have it in me right now...to love anyone else. I know how messed up I am, and I know you deserve better. I don't want you to stop looking because of me."

She gave him a sad smile. "I haven't stopped looking. But I won't settle for someone just because he's available. I want to find the right man. I realize that's not you, but I do enjoy spending time with you. I don't put any expectations on you regarding my feelings. And if the right man does come along, I'll let you know. You are just as free to be with the woman you love, if she ever becomes available. I told you a long time ago there are no strings attached, and I didn't change the rules on you."

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. "I...panicked, I guess."

"And I am sorry. It kind of slipped out. I knew better."

"How long...have you felt that way?"

"How long have we been dating?"

He turned his head to look at her, eyes pained. "No..."

She nodded. "It's easier than you want to believe to love you, Bobby."

That wasn't what he wanted to hear, and he shifted restlessly. "Denise..."

Reaching out, she rested her hand on his arm. "You don't have to protect my feelings. You have never been dishonest with me. I know what to expect and what not to expect. I'm a big girl, and I make up my own mind about things. I want to keep seeing you, if you're willing."

He was more than willing, but his conscience still held him back. "I don't want to use you..."

"You're not. If there was any duplicity at all on your part, then yes. But there's not. You have always been up front with me, as I have been with you. We both know where we stand with each other, and that makes it okay, at least as far as I'm concerned."

He scrubbed his hand over the two days' growth of whiskers on his face and sighed. "Can I take you to dinner, uh, Tuesday?"

She nodded. "Tuesday is fine."

"I should have talked to you," he muttered.

"I know. But we'll work it out."

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waiting so long
So long

He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the ends he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take

Oh, 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?

Getting to his feet, he offered another quiet apology and said good night. She got up and walked to the door with him. "Do you want to stay?" she asked softly, knowing if he did, he would sleep.

Hand on the doorknob, he answered, "Yes. But I'd better not."

As he pulled the door open, she reached out and touched his arm. He stopped. Her hand moved to touch a scruffy cheek, caressing the side of his face. His eyes slid closed. He shoved the door shut and turned into her arms.

He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster...


A/N: Beautiful Disaster is by Kelly Clarkson. Ever since I first heard that song, I thought it applied perfectly to Bobby. I've been looking for a place to use it, and I though it fit in nicely right here :-)