A/N: here's another chapter. Sorry for the extremely super late update. Please read & review. To those who did review, thanks so much!
Don't own any of these characters, though I really wish I did.
Enjoy!
This is a very long chapter hah.
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Chapter 9
'George Bernard Shaw once wrote, 'There are two tragedies in life: One is to lose your heart's desire and the other is to gain it…'
This was the quote that surfaced in Leia's head as she sat there in her little dingy cell pondering about…well, everything. Back in Paris, she had stumbled across this quote when she had been under the Opera, in Erik's underworld. He had a great array of books there and though she had not read much books at that time, she was curious to see what lay in the many pages that acquired dust over the years of not being used. And that was where she found George Bernard Shaw. She had never forgotten this quote. The quote clung to her. It's meaning defining her life.
Her heart constricted of pain and she wondered how long she could handle it, how long it would hurt.
Shaw once wrote, 'There are two tragedies in life: One is to lose your heart's desire and the other is to gain it…' She thought once again, repeating the quote in her mind. Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice. She sighed tiredly. That makes two of us.
Just then, the cell doors banged open to reveal a couple of Stormtroopers. They entered her cell and made her to stand up. They handcuffed her delicate hands and urged her out the door.
"We have arrived in Coruscant." Was the only clue the Stormtrooper gave her.
Great. At least Vader wasn't the one to see me to it. She thought so soon for as she rounded the corner, the first sight that she caught was that of Vader's back turned from her.
When he faced her, she really tried her best not to roll her eyes in annoyance. Instead, she huffed and scowled at him but did not utter a word.
"I will bring you to the Emperor as we have now arrived in Coruscant, Your Highness." The way he addressed was said sarcastically, of course. She would've done the same thing but she really did not want to speak to him at all.
Her face expressed how much she did not care whether he brought her to the slums or back to Jabba the Hutt or wherever he wanted.
"I do not understand why you are being so difficult, Princess. You must accept your fate."
Leia really wanted to smack him for saying that. And she wasn't even being difficult. It would be better if she didn't say anything at all because she knew she was bound to say something that would strike a chord.
She looked everywhere else other than him, her facial expression unreadable to the Sith Lord. After a few more moments of standing in silence, Vader gave up trying to read her and ordered his Stormtroopers to leave them.
"I will bring her to the Emperor myself."
Leia inwardly groaned. She really was not looking to spending anymore time with Vader. And now, she was going to be alone with him. She really hated him now more than ever.
Her father began walking ahead of her and after a moment's pause; she quickly walked alongside of him.
For almost half of the way of walking to the Emperor's chambers, neither uttered a single word. The only sound that could be heard was Vader's mechanical breathing. Leia refused to speak to her father and so she simply listened to his breathing, marveling at how it sounded so…loud and heavy. Not really the words she was looking for, but at that moment she couldn't think of anything else. Unlike the rest of the universe, she did not fear her father's breathing anymore. After all the meetings she's ever had with him, she was getting used to it.
Meanwhile, Vader's thoughts were a lot deeper than Leia's as he pondered over the little princess walking by his side. In the first place, she wasn't even suppose to be walking right next him but behind him to symbolize his authority. But she wasn't, and he briefly wondered how he let her get away with it. He sensed anger in her. Normally, he would've rejoiced seeing as how the Emperor's new pet would be doing a good job but right now, he was far from rejoicing. The anger and hatred he sensed in her was all directed towards him. And he didn't understand why. Neither did he understand why her anger in particular was concerning him the most. It was unnerving. He didn't like this feeling at all. It was as if she had power over him.
Vader halted. Leia, unconcerned, did not follow his actions. "I sense a great anger in you."
Leia finally did stop but she did not turn to face him.
"You are slowly fulfilling your destiny." Vader intoned. "Give into your anger and hate and then you will understand the full powers of the Dark Side."
Leia had had enough. She was really sick and tired of hearing about the Dark Side. To hear personally from him, it drove her to the brink of insanity. She really wished she had jumped over the bridge years ago.
"Ok. That's great. Wonderful." Leia spoke louder than she intended, her sarcasm echoing in the empty halls. "And believe me; I really get the powers of the Dark Side, trust me. You know how? Because it's been destroying my life for the past 20 years. Yeah I totally get it."
"That is not what I meant." Vader responded, his frustration increasing with her sarcasm and how it all seemed so familiar to him.
Leia sighed, extremely annoyed by now. She counted to ten just to calm herself, giving herself time to compose herself and bite back the harsh words that were already on the tip of her tongue.
"You ever heard of George Bernard Shaw?" She asked him in a much more civil manner, trying a different tactic this time.
"No. I believe not."
"He once wrote that 'There are two tragedies in life: One is to lose your heart's desire and the other is to gain it.'" She paused for a moment to give him time to digest the words.
"Do you even understand or begin to comprehend what those words mean, Lord Vader?" Though he did not answer, he could understand very clearly what those words meant to him. He had lost his heart's desire 20 years before and when he had gained his heart's desire to save her or to be more than he already was, he had lost everything that was dear to him. The Princess' next words startled Vader, "Because that quote has been the very definition of my life for the past 20 years or so."
Vader wondered briefly the history of this woman before him and her anger was deftly connected to him. Then he wondered why in the Force was he even concerned about this traitor to the Empire.
Leia continued, "As far as I'm concerned, Shaw was a punk." Her vulgar words disturbed Vader, though he didn't say anything about it for the meantime. "Coz you know what? Tragedies happen." Her realizations were just spilling out her non-stop. Freeing themselves from the dark cell they were put into. "What are you going to do? Give up? Quit? No." And now Vader's attention was fully focused on her. Somehow he knew he could relate to her in some way or another but this was something he secretly marveled at. He had never had this kind of resolve before, even when he was Anakin Skywalker all those years ago.
"I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive." And Leia would do just that. She would not succumb to her weaknesses; instead she will pick up the pieces and start over yet once again.
"Because you are," She continued. Her resolution becoming stronger than ever. "And that pain you feel…its life!" Vader stepped back, her words forever embedding in his mind, forever leaving a mark in his soul. He gazed at the strong woman before him, reminding him of someone else he knew in his past.
"The confusion and the fear…that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better." She paused, knowing that she had caused a great turmoil in her dark-minded father. "And that something is worth fighting for."
For what seemed to be forever, all that could now be heard was Vader's mechanical, systematic breathing. Father and daughter faced each other, one unsure of what to do next, the other absolute and sure of what will happen next.
"There is nothing worth fighting for in my life anymore, Princess." Vader finally spoke, quickly dismissing her words but failing amiably. "Sorry to disappoint you."
And Leia was disappointed but that didn't mean she would give up. "Maybe. But in every darkness, a spark of light will always flicker its way in it. For you, maybe that light is Luke and you know that too."
"I do not know what you are talking about." Vader denied.
"Yes you do." Leia forced. "Why else would you be so obsessed in finding him, your long lost son?"
"Because that is what my Master commands." He replied monotonous.
"That's just an excuse to ease yourself."
"Enough!" Vader barked through his respirator, not being able to handle it anymore. "I do not want to hear another word about this. We will have no more distractions. I am taking you to the Emperor now."
Leia did not feel appalled this time. Instead, she felt victory for she knew she had won this war. That she had gotten to him somehow. Even if her father would never admit that in a million years.
"See, I can be a bitch too when I open my mouth." Leia toned collectively, unabashed by her obscene language. "That's why I like to keep it silent, so that neither of us could say anything that would hurt one another." She shot him a cold, sarcastic stare. "It's a little something called 'Being Sensitive to Other's Feelings.'"
As much as he would like to hate the Princess of Alderaan, his insides refused to comply to his mind's commands. But pretending to hate her was attainable and certainly much more easier to do and so he did exactly that.
Vader, unsure of what to do for a minute, stood there dumbfounded, gathering in all his strength to hate the woman that stood before him. It became extremely difficult and so to ease his turmoil, he began walking as if nothing had ever taken place in between their journey from his ship to the Emperor's chambers.
She sighed as she watched him walk in frustration ahead of her. By now he would've probably hated her for opening up the old wounds from the past. But then what would he feel then if he discovered she was his daughter?
Leia knew Vader intended her to follow. There is no way out. Past the point of no return, remember, Christine?
She groaned. "What the heck." Leia muttered beneath her breath. And then she ran as she made to follow her father.
Meeting the Emperor was going to be quite interesting, she thought sarcastically. She should've definitely put it up on her 'To-Do list'.
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Unfortunately, the tensed silence between father and daughter only intensified with each step. And with each step, Leia was finally realizing what she had gotten herself into. She was beginning to become nervous and anxious. Truly, she wasn't ready to face the Emperor yet. Palpatine would definitely force her to become like her father and that was the very last thing she wanted.
Give in to the Dark Side blah blah blah… Leia rolled her eyes. How many times had she ever heard that in the past 4 years? Well she was sick of it and she didn't want to be like her father and she would not give into the Dark Side.
Anger, fear, aggression, they all lead to the Dark Side of the Force. But then, doesn't everybody feel all that at least once in their lives? Everybody in this damned galaxy has felt and experienced the trials, the hardships, the anger, the pain and suffering. So, did that mean that they were all qualified to become part of the Dark Side? If she was suffering from her life now, there's bound to be one other person out there who was suffering far greater than her.
Like Erik…and my mother… Leia thought sadly. Her mother had always been her idol ever since she dreamt of her life and her death. Even though her most beloved had chosen the wrong path, she decided that she couldn't follow because it was wrong and yet, she still believed that there was still good in the monster that walked before her.
Every darkness has its spark of light. She recalled her earlier words to her father. No matter how hopeless the situation may seem to be, as long as you have faith, everything will be alright. Faith is believing when there is nothing else to believe in. Very complicated, yes. But that's life. That's just the way it is.
To be able to get through life's harsh trials is something far greater than attaining fame or power or all the useless things in life that people choose to die for. Why? Because you've attained the highest possible way of living, of finding true happiness. Nothing is easy. But then, if things were easy, then where would all the fun be? People who chose the Dark Side are those who are cowards and easily swayed by false ideals and dreams and desires. They are the ones who chose the wrong path to make everything easier. Only to find out that everything just got a little bit harder.
Seriously, I should've just worked to become a philosopher instead of an Opera diva. Leia thought amusingly. Who would've thought that having a broken heart would make her thrice as strong as before? That she would be all philosophical now. She laughed in her mind. If Erik saw her now…
But I must say, seeing you again like this, as you are now, I am so proud of you Christine.
…he would be so proud of her.
Back in her days at the Opera, more than anything, she strived to make her Angel be proud of her and when she did, the feeling would be so amazing. As if she'd achieved something that was worth it. The hope that everything would turn out to be alright in the end was something she could see whenever she'd see Erik shine before her with proud eyes.
Remembering her most treasured feelings made her want to fight and resist against evil all the more. She had not been faithful, religious and God-fearing for nothing. She would not be afraid and she would take in all the pain and smile proudly, telling everyone that she did it, she survived and she made it.
It was something Anakin Skywalker had never done before.
They were in the elevators now, ascending to the top floor where the Emperor's chambers were located. The ride was taking forever to finish. And the knots in her stomach just kept forming and forming.
What did Luke teach me again? She thought to herself. 'Calm yourself. And just let go…' His words echoing through her head.
She closed her eyes and let the Force flow through her. Vader turned to her swiftly, realizing what she was doing. Instead of stopping it, he watched in fascination as she began to glow with light as she beckoned the Force to her. Vader instantly felt her ease and calmness, almost letting it in him as well. Almost. He was an expert in shutting out the Light Side of the Force; it meant nothing to him as of now. But the next thing he heard was something he was not prepared to shut out at all.
"It's October again…leaves are coming down. One more year's come and gone…" It was an angel singing, Vader thought at first. He had heard her voice before but hearing it in person was almost like being graced with the presence of an angel. Or maybe he was. He couldn't know for sure. But last time he checked he was escorting a Princess of a no-longer planet Alderaan at the Emperor's wishes. Vader secretly hoped the Emperor would spare the Princess' voice. It was a voice from heaven beckoning him as if he could really be there and not be struck down.
"…And nothing's changed at all…Wasn't I suppose to be someone who can face the things I've been running from…?" Was it her voice or her song? The tune was sad and melancholy, yet somehow Vader could understand every word of it. Probably because he experienced the very thing she was singing every day of his life. What was in this Princess that he seemed so familiar with? That soothed his soul much as he resisted it?
"Let me feel…I don't care if breakdown…Let me fall…even if I hit the ground. And if I…cry a little, die a little at least I know I lived…just a little…"
Her short, sweet and bitter excerpt ended there as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. If Vader did not have a mask, Leia would've seen a tear rolling down his right eye. There was something about the Princess, he didn't know what. Was it merely just her Force powers? Vader wasn't sure.
"Sorry."
The Dark Lord looked down at his somewhat, supposedly prisoner, clearly startled from his thoughts.
"I sing when I get nervous." She met his hidden gaze and blushed a bit, letting the color rush to her face. Vader's heart sped up twice its regular beating. He knew that look. He had seen it a million times. He had once memorized it so as to not forget it.
Padme…
The name flew in his mind with a start. The Princess resembled his departed wife so much. Except the singing part and the extremely vulgar language, she was the very epitome of Padme. That was why she had such a hold over him. That was why everything seemed so familiar to him. And then he wondered in confusion. Who exactly was Princess Leia Organa, if that was even her name at all?
But too late he couldn't confront her about it as the chamber doors leading to the Emperor's quarters were opened before them. Immediately, Vader lifted his mind shield and forced all his previous thoughts in the very back and very deep part of his mind.
Leia did the same thing. This is it. Christine, you can do it… She thought to herself.
"Past the point of no return." She muttered beneath her breath but Vader still caught her words. He silently agreed. He could only hope that the Princess who looked and acted almost like Padme would just comply and obediently agree to whatever the Emperor had to say. Knowing Padme though, it wouldn't be so.
They slowly approached the Emperor and his chair twirled mechanically so he could face them. Vader kneeled before him, much to Leia's disgust, and Leia merely stood there, trying to look as if really this was all nothing to her. She managed it but she was seriously revolting at the sight of the Emperor. If Erik wanted someone else who was much more deformed than he was, he should've just contacted Emperor Palpatine and see for himself. Because Erik's deformity was nothing compared to the sight before her.
At least the man had a soul. Leia thought, referring to Erik. Leia tried not to gag when the Emperor looked at her with a greedy interest.
"Well, if it isn't the Princess of Alderaan…" Palpatine drawled out slowly.
"Well, if it isn't Yellow Eyes." Leia retorted sarcastically. Palpatine cracked some sort of a laugh. She shuddered.
Palpatine turned to the kneeling Vader. "Rise, my apprentice." Vader did so. Leia rolled her eyes. If Palpatine asked Vader to throw Luke off a cliff, he would do so. It was really pathetic how her father turned out to be so… not how she expected him to be.
"Lord Vader, you have brought me the other disturbance in the Force. A fine job you did at that."
"Thank you, my Master." Vader responded monotonous, inclining his head in gratitude and respect.
Leia repeated the Emperor's words in her head. Her eyes widened at the revelation. Oh my God, he knows. 'He' referring to the Emperor. She was dead meat and in serious trouble now.
He turned to her. "I sense a great fear in you, Your Royal Highness." He addressed sarcastically. Of course to him, the only Royal Highness in the room at the moment was him. "You really thought I wouldn't figure it out did you?"
Leia's mouth dropped to the floor. For the first time since she was captured, she had nothing to say, completely lost for words.
"Your mother was as foolish and naïve as you were and look where she ended up."
Son of a bitch. Leia thought, the anger rising in her at the mention of her dear beloved mother. "What do you know of my mother?" And before Palpatine could answer, she interjected rudely and sarcastically. "Oh yeah! That's right! You were the cause of her death!"
"On the contrary, I had nothing to do with it." He glanced almost calmly at Vader and pointed at him. "My apprentice here, Lord Vader, was the primary reason on why your mother is not here with us in this world."
Something inside Vader clicked. So that was why she was so angry at him. Because he had killed her mother. How was he suppose to know who she was back then?
"I sense your growing anger." Palpatine continued, basking in Leia's anger. "Use it; let it take hold of you, for if you let that happen, your destiny will be fulfilled."
"You've obviously gotten the wrong person. The one you're looking for is Luke and unfortunately for you, he is unreachable." Leia bit back.
Palpatine cackled once again and Leia resisted the urge to cover her ears just to drown out the horrific sound. "Yes but as we wait for young Skywalker's arrival, we shall make use of the other disturbance in the Force. You know as well as I do that you are just as equal as him."
Leia shut her mouth immediately. He knew everything.
Oh God…
"Funny, now I wish to thank you dear mother…" Palpatine carried on, taunting her. "For if not for her, you would not be here and I wouldn't get another chance of strengthening my powers to you and Luke."
Leia laughed mockingly. She glanced at Vader. "He doesn't know, does he?"
"Yes, of course he doesn't. You kept it well hidden from him, I'm almost proud of you. But disappointed as well. You have not told him yet of your true existence…"
Vader was confused. What the hell was going on here?
"Go on, Princess." Palpatine taunted her. He motioned to his dark apprentice. "Tell him. Tell him the truth. You have been yearning for that, have you? Tell him now while you have the chance. Or do you wish for me to do the honours?"
Leia was very unprepared for this. No. She was going to fight this. She would not give Palpatine a moment's pleasure. She would not give in to her anger and pain. Not now. Especially not now.
When she remained frozen to the spot, Palpatine's eyes gleamed with delight even more.
"Alright then, I will do the honours." He turned to Vader and brought out his slimy hand, motioning it to Leia. "Vader, meet your daughter."
Vader whipped his head to face the woman who his master claimed to be his daughter. She bent her head down in defeat, refusing to meet his gaze.
"Impossible." Vader denied immediately. Leia felt like she was slapped on the face.
"Oh it is possible, my apprentice. Young Skywalker has a twin sister. Search your feelings Vader. You will know my words to be true."
A daughter. He had a daughter. Padme had given him two children. Padme… Now he understood everything now. The message that Padme was trying to tell him through his dreams, the voice singing in his head, his musings between Leia and Padme, Leia's anger towards him, everything.
Don't you recognize me?! Can't you see through me?! At all?! Leia's pleadings and despairing and desperate face flashed into his mind.
I really get the powers of the Dark Side, trust me. You know how? Because it's been destroying my life for the past 20 years. Yeah I totally get it.
She had given him so many hints. She had been right in front of him this whole time yet he couldn't see her, the real Leia. What had he done? Why couldn't he see before?
"Now you know the truth, my old friend." Palpatine spoke. He spoke as if he truly was concerned over Vader. Leia wanted to punch his face. Did her father seriously buy this?
"The Force is strong in her. It was only masked by Obi-Wan's protection and by the name of Christine Daae."
Leia snapped her head at Palpatine. Just how much did he know?
As if reading her thoughts, he spoke, "Oh, I know quite a lot. I have been wondering about you even since during your Opera days…"
Oh my God.
"…I should say, 'Brava', for your fine debut as Elissa in the opera of Hannibal…"
Oh my God…he had known her even then…
Palpatine clapped his hands in mock praise. "It was quite unfortunate I couldn't bring your father with me that time. He doesn't have much interest in operas and musicals."
Leia's widened with every word the Emperor spoke. Was it possible for her eyes to pop out? He knew her as Christine Daae…He knew everything…
"'Mystery after gala night. Mystery of soprano's flight…' You brought a lot of scandal back then as well, am I right? Your mother was never heard of being involved in such scandals…"
Why couldn't the ground just open and swallow her up right now? The Emperor got her. He knew more about her more than he could ever know about Luke. Luke was well-protected. She was now doomed.
"…Ah yes…" Palpatine chuckled menacingly. "And that final performance of yours. The first and last performance of Don Juan Triumphant. When your Phantom graced us with his presence…"
No. No. Not Erik… He couldn't touch her Angel. But he could. She knew he could. And she was now frightened for his life more than ever. Luke had to protect him. Luke had to…
"…I was there. Oh yes… When the chandelier fell, when Opera Populaire burned to the grounds…All because of one scandalous, Force-strong diva: Christine Daae, or shall I say, Princess Leia Organa Skywalker, daughter of Anakin Skywalker?"
Tears fell from her eyes as Palpatine laughed and laughed and laughed. Vader felt her defeat, sorrow and despair so much, it was overwhelming him. He wished it to stop but it wouldn't. All he could do was stand back and watch as his daughter suffered. His daughter who carried with her Padme's aura. His daughter…
"Now Princess, it is time you follow the footsteps of your father. Join us here at the Dark Side. Give into your anger and pain. Fulfill your destiny…if you don't want your Phantom to suffer as well…"
"What?" Leia trembled.
And then Palpatine knew he had hit the jackpot.
"Skywalker cannot always protect your Phantom. I will find them even if it takes hunting them in every single city in every single planet. I will not stop until I find your Phantom and your brother…And when I do find them, I will make sure they will never sing a single musical note for the rest of their lives."
"No! You can't! The music…it's all they have!" Leia protested feverishly.
"I know." Palpatine cackled louder. "So you will comply with my demands to turn to the Dark Side. Or watch them as I make your beloved friends and family suffer beyond your imagination."
Leia cried even more. She said she would fight this. How could she when her family's lives were in line? When their music was in the line? Could she really do that them? To never produce a single musical note at all was unbearable, especially to those who had loved and treasured the music for so long. Could she do that to her Angel of Music? To Luke?
This was the second time in her life she had to make such a difficult decision in such a short time.
Wishing you were somehow here again…
She glanced at her father but she knew he wouldn't help her. He was a coward after all. Obi-Wan couldn't save her now even if he wanted to. Her mother could only watch from the heavens as she fell. Raoul could only stand alongside her mother and do nothing. Not even give her comforting, light words or shouts and protestations.
I know I can't refuse and yet I wish I could…
Nobody was going to help her now. Nobody was going to set her free after she had made her decision to save others. All she had with her was her faith and her hope and her music…
Oh God, if I agree, what horrors wait for me, in this, the Phantom's opera?
What horrors wait for her indeed. There was no way out…No one…No return…
Little Lotte, Christine…Christine…Christine…
"Yes."
For a second, the mechanical breathing of Vader's had stopped.
From afar, she felt as if the heavens trembled and the skies roared. The Force wailed in despair along with her. Rain and thunder gathered in dark clouds and boomed over the planets. Angels began weeping, the one leading them was her mother.
I had no choice, Christine…
Palpatine laughed. He never stopped. He only did when she spoke again.
"I only have one condition."
"You dare to make such conditions?"
"I only have one simple request." She was going down to hell and she knew it. Down once more… "I want my father to train me. Not you. But my father, Vader."
If she was going to hell, she would bring her father along with her too.
For a moment, Palpatine didn't speak nor did he utter a single sound. He considered it. Who better train her than the one who helped create her? It would also get a load off his shoulders.
"Done."
And Leia Organa Skywalker flew out of the Emperor's chambers and ran.
Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair.
Down we plunge to the prison of my mind.
Down that path into darkness deep as hell.
Erik's words rang into her brain over and over again as she ran into a dark pit of nothingness.
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that little song Leia sang for Vader was "Let Me Fall" by Bethany Joy Lenz
