A little while later, Spy and Medic both emerged from Pyros' room, looks of horror and shock on their faces.
"You did see it, right?"
"Ja."
"With the…..
"Uh huh"
Spy took a long drag of his cigarette, he would be stealing some of the demos' scrumpy tonight. "I never though Pyro would look like THAT, a robot maybe, but THAT?"
"Let us never speak of it again," Said Medic. It all made sense now, Pyro hadn't wanted to be given an ubervalve because then, well, Medic would have never looked at the firebug the same way, so they had someone else come in and do it.
Both of them didn't notice Chemist leaning against the wall until Spy walked into him.
"Oh, my apologies…." The Frenchman began.
The hazard-suited figure just chuckled, "Pyro showed you what was under the mask, huh?"
"Ja, how did you know?" Asked Medic.
"Look of horror, general shock, generally not acting like yourself, happened to me the first time Blaze showed me, just don't tell the others, alright?"
Medic nodded, "I understand."
Even Spy, master of revealing secrets and embarrassment to others, nodded, he had always lived in fear of Pyros, and his own teams' was no exception.
Chemist beckoned the two to come into his room. They both shrugged to each other and followed him.
Chemists room was much like Medics, there was alarge table in the center, covered with different tubes, bottles, Bunsen burners, powders and lord know what else. In the corner was a refridgerator, Spy could help but shudder when he saw it, he had seen some pretty odd things in refridgerators, and he had no clue what Chemist kept in his. There was a small cabinet next to the fridge, and, on a smaller table was a can of Bonk! which Chemist had obviously been trying to study. Large tanks marked with a skull and crossbones lay in the corner and in the back of the room sat a bed with a small nightstand next to it. On the nightstand was a picture of some old man in a business suit who was obviously suffering from some disease, and a young, well dressed woman, the photo was signed: "From Cave and Caroline, thanks for the two extra years Nick!"
Chemist cleared some room on the table and motioned for Spy and Medic to sit down. He reached into the fridge and brought out a small bottle, "Don't tell Demo I have this, he'd kill me for it." He took to small glasses from the cabinet and poured them both a drink, which they took greatfully. Chemist took out his own glass, filled it, but before drinking it, he emptied a small vial of golden liquid into the drink.
Medic paled, "Zat isn't….."
"Australium concentrate? Yup, it's the one thing keeping me from rotting away entirely."
"But zat is ze most radioactive and poisonous substance in ze world!" Cried the doctor. horrified.
Chemist just smirked and downed the concoction, "It also doubles your bodies' cell generation rate, why do you think everyone exposed to it grows so much chest hair? This helps my body fix what is dying. Sure, I'll probably turn into a solid australium statue eventually, but for now I'm alive and as health as I'll ever be!"
Medic stared in wonder at the man, "I have GOT to give you a physical someday, the scientific miracles your body holds…. it's unimaginable!"
Chemist just chuckled again, "You would be surprised what medical experimentation on your own body can give you."
Spy had been only half listening to the two scientists talk, then he though of something, "Chemist, when did you actually first meet Pyro?"
Chemist sighed, "About 18 years ago, when we were both still in college. We were in the same chemistry class, and, well, over time, Blaze just kind of grew on me. We dated for a little, though obviously some people didn't approve of it, we were kind of the school freaks even then. But anyway, one day I was working on a science paper and I just suddenly felt a horrible pain. Blaze, who was my room mate at the time, got me to a hospital. They did some X-rays and found out I had cancer. I stayed in the hospital for a year or two, Blaze came every day to check up on me, maybe slip me some smokes every now and again until we finally got the doctors to let me out. After that we kind of split up, I began to experiment on myself to find a cure for my cancer, and Blaze got a job as a special effects artist." He gestured to a newspaper clipping on the wall titled: "Pyrotechnics wizard goes mad, nearly kills movie star." "After that I guess Blaze came to join you guys. I had by that time given myself blood poisoning and my, ahem, unique hair and eye color. I made a living doing odd jobs for science labs, until I got a letter from Blaze a few weeks ago, the administrator must have tried to stop it from getting to me, because it was at least a year old, lord knows how it got through. So I signed up for RED, came here and you know the rest."
Spy nodded, then sighed, taking a long drag from his cigarette, "I still can't believe zat Pyro iz a-"
He was cut off when Heavy burst in the door, Doktor! Come quick! Leetle Scout tried to hide Demomans bottle and now he is beating him over head with dinning room chair!"
"Fes, again?" Groaned Medic, getting up.
"Ve better go break it up, last time Scout needed two whole days under a medigun to bring him back, I don't vant to have to repeat that."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THIS, AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PYRO IS! Anyway, feel free to ask for oneshot requests involving this version of the team and Chemist, I'm going to wrap this story up and should be working on a sequel/ collection of oneshots next.
