The year 1894 brought change swiftly into my life once again. Snow still lay upon the ground when it occurred to me one day that I hadn't seen Mathilde about in a while.
"Nicholas has broken off their relationship," George told me. "Next month he travels to Coburg, Germany for the wedding of Ernst Ludwig of Hesse to Victoria Melita of Edinburgh. While there, he plans to propose to Alix once again." As George must someday put me aside to marry royalty himself. I suddenly felt very sad.
"What is it?" George gently lifted my chin to look into my eyes.
"It's simply that...I know that the close friendship you and I share must eventually come to an end as well, for the same reason. Oh, how I shall miss you, dearest George!"
As tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, George tenderly wiped them away with his thumbs. "I shan't let you go," he swore. "Right now I don't know how, but there has to be a way to keep you in my life, as I can't bear the thought of never seeing you again."
At that time, neither of us could have guessed how quickly the issue would be resolved.
Nicholas returned from Germany victorious, having finally succeeded in persuading Alix to accept his proposal.
"So true love does indeed conquer all," George remarked wryly.
"Patience does indeed have its rewards," Nicholas agreed. His eyes shone with happiness, and euphoria was written all over his face. Alix is the woman he truly loves. For a fleeting second I remembered Mathilde, the way her eyes had always sparkled when she spoke of 'her Nicky.'
"Alix of Hesse must truly be a remarkable woman," I said to George later, when we were alone.
"My parents found her cold and distant when she visited five years ago," George told me. I thought of the vibrant, ebullient Mathilde and was baffled that Nicholas preferred the cold, distant German, even if she was a Princess.
The following summer, less than a week after Nicholas had left for England to visit his fiancee and her grandmother, Queen Victoria, she came to see me. I was astonished, as I'd thought I'd never see her again.
"You must help me." Her eyes were wild with desperation. "I have no one else to turn to but you. You see," she placed her hand protectively on her abdomen. "I am carrying Nicholas' son."
Shocked, I could only stare.
"He doesn't know," she continued. "And he must never find out."
"But...why?" I'd found my voice at last.
"The future Tsarina, Alix of Hesse, carries a bleeding disorder in her blood." Mathilde's voice was low, conspiratorial. "It's passed through the mother's line but affects only baby boys. Any son Alix gives Nicky will likely be affected by it as well."
"And how do you know all of this?" I asked suspiciously.
"I have spies," she said simply.
Spies? "But what does all this have to do with me?" I asked.
"As Alix may never be able to give Nicky a healthy son, I fear that she may see any other son of his, even an illegitimate one, as a threat to her own sons."
I gasped. "So much so that...she would seek to have him eliminated?"
"I fear that that may indeed be the case. You and George must raise my son as your own, Bonnie. As merely the son of a Grand Duke, Alix won't see him as nearly as much of a threat."
"But George and I..."
"I know that you love one another. I've already spoken to George, and he's in full agreement with the plan."
"But you don't even know that the baby will be a boy..."
"It will be. Of that I am certain. His name shall be Vladimir, and he shall be called Vova."
Stunned beyond words, I immediately went in search of George. I found him in his father's study, talking with the Captain of the Imperial Navy. He glanced briefly at me and signaled for me to wait a moment. Shortly afterwards, he dismissed the Captain, took my hand, and led me to his bedroom, where he closed the door behind us as soon as I entered.
"Mathilde came to see me," I told him.
"Yes."
I took a deep breath. "She told me that she's carrying Nicky's child, and that she wants us to raise it as our own. She said that you're in agreement with that."
"Can't you see, Bonnie?" he asked. "It's the perfect solution! We'll travel together to France and elope. I'll have the servants explain to my parents that I've traveled to the Caucasus to complete more military training and you've been called home on a family emergency. A couple of years later, we'll return to Russia with Mathilde's son. No one will be the wiser."
"But your parents will never accept me as your wife..."
He silenced me with a kiss.
