Chapter 9: Publication
Naruto's POV
Our hands are not entangled together lovingly. We are not walking to close to each other, and our eyes do not meet in a affectionate gaze. That doesn't stop people from glaring though. They're probably glaring at me more then Gaara; never mind that he sticks out alike a swore thumb, with his dark clothes. I can't help but smile, even though it's annoying and depressing, it's also funny. However my boyfriend is oblivious to all of this, or just doesn't care to pay attention to the people around him. We're in a small park filled with old willow trees, and an artificial lake. Bright flowers are scattered around every where.
"Are you uncomfortable?" Gaara's cold voice makes me freeze. His blank eyes gaze at me, and I chuckle. Yes I'm uncomfortable, no matter how hard I'm trying to shrug off the glares. "I've seen enough," Gaara say simply. He's giving me an excuse to go home, to hide away from my memories. Ironic, hasn't he always been the one who's told me to face them?
"I'm fine really Gaara," I say happily.
Gaara sighs slightly. His eyes look out at the far away clouds. I study his expression. I put my hands in my pocket.
"Do I annoy you?"
"You're recent insecurity does, yes," He says coldly. I glare at him, and fight the urge to stick out my tongue like a child. Instead I stay silent and walk in front of him, towards the park exit. My boyfriend walks quietly behind me, and I try to ignore him. However, those simple words irk me. Suddenly I turn around, but I have no chance to speak.
"It's just not like you to act this way. It is best if we leave. However I understand your change in character, think nothing of it," Gaara says plainly. And I am left with my mouth wide open.
"You know to much, stop reading my mind," I mumble. We walk back to my house, and I find myself thinking. I'm not blurting out my opinion like I usually do. I look around the town and feel like I'm caged, like if I speak someone will judge me. I feel a little depressed, but then a tingling sensation runs up my fingers.
I look to see Gaara holding my hand, he's not looking at me, but simply looking ahead. Like this is nothing…I guess it's not, but it's making me worry. I scold myself a little, because for that feeling.
"Why do you let these people scare you?" Gaara questions, without making eye contact.
"I don't know…I guess it's a defense mechanism," I justify. Gaara nods. If I where anywhere else I'd be loud and outgoing, but this town has pushed me down so many times, I don't even try to get up. Sometimes I want to, I just want to yell and scream; but I usually leave this hell whole before I do anything drastic.
I let a bright smile creep up my face, and try to just focus on Gaara. "I'm glad Iruka seems to like you," Gaara's finger twitches, and I laugh. Iruka is talkative, and he has questioned Gaara about some things, I'm sure he was uncomfortable with. Like this morning at breakfast, when Iruka ask if we use protection during sex. Gaara's eye wouldn't stop twitching for two minutes, and I just laughed my ass off.
I begin to talk like I usually do when I'm around Gaara. On going none sense and minimal input form my red head. I feel more secure, and I have the courage to hold on even tighter to Gaara's hand. I block out anyone who's passing us by, taking on Gaara's attitude towards the outside world.
"If you need anything just call," Iruka says, and I give my guardian a hug. He looks at Gaara, and they both exchange good-byes. It's not much, but I'm grateful for the peaceful interaction. I think Iruka really approves of Gaara, though he might still be stunned. If not by the fact that I'm gay, then because, of the fact that my boyfriend is my exact opposite.
Gaara and I get into the car. "I can't wait to get back to school," I say with a sigh of relief. Gaara doesn't respond, but he doesn't need too. We both buckle up and I pull out of the driveway. As I drive through the town, I feel like everyone is stopping to look at our car. It makes me uncomfortable, but maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Gaara's cell phone starts to ring. He pulls it out and looks at the screen, then he puts the phone away.
"You're not going to answer?" I question.
"I'm on holiday still," he says plainly. I chuckle a little. It must be his manager calling.
"How did you like the town?" I question.
"It has an old air about it. The peoples opinion is has old as the architecture."
I smile, " I wanted to show it to you anyway. Even if it's flawed, it has its nice spots."
"I suppose," Gaara trails off. I'm glad that I can get him to talk so easily, I really feel lucky to have found him again. Of course I never gave up, I don't think either of us did.
"Have you heard from you family?" I question softly. I know Gaara's attitude towards his family is negative, but still, I wonder.
"Why would I?"
"Just wondering. Kankuro seems like the type of guy that would come around once he found out you're famous." Gaara's lip twitches a little. I reach down to turn on the radio, but am only greeted with static. I turn it back off. I'll probably only get country music out here anyway.
Instead to produce some noise, I start to talk with Gaara about everything and nothing. All the while I'm avoiding the topic of my childhood, emotions, and most of all, the town that we're exiting. I want to be my happy go lucky self again. I want to be at peace, and smile brightly. It's not so bad. I guess that the town just got to me a little more then usually because I brought Gaara along. However, everything will be fine and back to normal, once I'm far away from here. I drive on, placing more distance between me and my memories.
It's dark, and it doesn't seem so long ago that the sun was out. I don't know exactly how long we've been driving, but my eyes are starting to get heavy.
"Let's try and find a hotel," I look at Gaara and give him a sleepy nod. A nice bed sounds good right about now. I turn on the next exit, and try to keep my eyes open for a hotel. We find a small Inn, and Gaara goes to the lobby and gets us a room, while I rest my head on the steering wheel.
"Naruto," I look up with sleepy eyes. "Turn off the car, the room is right here," he say softly. I nod, and do as I'm told.
"How late is it?" I question.
"It's only midnight," he says.
"Only?" I yawn. "Will you sleep?"
"I'll try," Gaara mutters out, and opens our hotel room. I quickly jump on the bed, and wiggle out of my shoes and jacket. Once I'm only in a shirt and jeans I plant my face into a pillow, and shut my eyes tight. I feel the bed sink next to me, and a warm comfort comes over me, once I feel Gaara's body heat.
Gaara's POV
My eyes are not heavy, though Naruto's fast asleep. I look at my cell phone. One missed call and one voice mail. In all honesty I don't want to listen to the voice mail. I enjoy painting, and photography, however even those joys can become too much if I am pressured into producing them. Reluctantly I listen to my voice mail.
"Gaara, we have a situation. Some rumors have been getting out. I need you to call me back as soon as you can. I need to set up an interview with 'Modern art and it's old touch' magazines."
The message ends, and I stare at my cell phone. I'm not going to worry or panic about this. However, I wonder what has gotten my manager so upset. It's probably some shallow hear say, that people are saying about me. Something that's probably not even worth defending.
I set my phone on the stand that holds a digital clock. It's four in the morning. I look down at my muse. I'm sure he'd want me to wake him up at six, so we can get back on the road. But for now he still has two hours to sleep.
I suppose I'll have to call my manger once I get home to see what's going on. Though, I did want to start on a new painting. I look at Naruto, he's snoring lightly. He's always been an inspiration, and his backward town has upset him, but also sparked something within me. Hate, repulsion, annoyance, I'm not sure which one of these emotions I felt when I was there. However, it's not very important.
Naruto rolls over, and mumbles something in his sleep. Slowly his eyes open, though he still looks very tired. His groggy blue eyes look up at me. "I can't sleep, this bed is the most uncomfortable bed ever. My back hurts," he complains.
"Do you want me to drive?' I question.
"No that's fine. We'll make it back home today, and It'll just be easier if I drop you off and then go give the car back to Kiba." I nod, and slowly Naruto gets out of bed. I follow him.
"Did you get any sleep?'
"No."
"Figures, well you didn't miss out. That sleep wasn't at all restful," Naruto shuffles into the bathroom, dragging alone the small bag that holds his clothes. I can hear his voice echo out from behind the door.
"I'm really glad you came with me to meet Iruka. It was kinda nice…for the most part." I hear water running.
"It was no problem," I mutter out.
"Is something wrong?" Naruto peeks out from behind the door. "You sound..more flat then usual."
"Work," I say plainly.
"Ooooh," Naruto creeps back into the bathroom and shuts the door. Then after a few minutes of silence my nymph reveals himself. "Well Christmas isn't that far away. So you'll have another break soon."
I nod absentmindedly, and go to freshen myself up as well.
"I'll come visit you tomorrow, before work," Naruto says sweetly. The car is still running, and I climb out.
"That would be pleasant," I say softly, and my muse graces me with a wide smile. I sling my bag over my shoulder, and watch Naruto pull out of the apartment parking lot. It's become so causal and pleasant between us. It's almost hard to believe that when we were in highschool, around this time, we were separated. I feel like I'm in an illusion, and I can't help but think that I've changed a little. Though Naruto is the only human I willingly communicate with, I just feel different. More at ease not so stressed out. Even though I have a call to make.
I walk up to my apartment, and see someone at my door. I tilt my head back in question, but do not call out to the man who's oblivious to the fact that I'm approaching him. It's not my manger, but he looks familiar.
Suddenly with an annoyed sigh the man turns around. When his dark eyes spot me, he grins a little. It's Sai, and I'm surprised he even knows where I live. I feel uneasy, and want to get away from the boy. He's one of the annoying people I hate to speak too. He has a magazine in his hand, and he hands it to me. I say nothing. I don't want to encourage him to speak.
"I believe you'll find the article about your recent help with a film very interesting." With that said he simply walks away. I ignore him, and take out my key.
I throw the magazine the boy gave me on my kitchen counter. I walk up to my room, and unpack my bag. However, the words Sai uttered nag at me. I get angry with myself, for my curiosity. I'm sure it's nothing. However, maybe this has something to do with the reason my manger called me. I put away the rest of my clothes into the laundry, and look longingly at my studio. My fingers itch to paint, but my mind is set on reading that article.
Slowly I make my way back down to my kitchen. I find myself staring at the cover of the magazine. It has the poster I made for that movie on the front along with big bold red letters reading:
"His muse revealed."
Naruto's POV
"How was the trip?" Kiba asks me. He's in our dorm reading a book on his bed. Next to him is Shino, doing some biology work.
I toss Kiba his keys and he catches them with ease. "Everything was fine, except the usual bull shit. How was yours."
"Kiba knocked over my dad's ant farm, and ruined dinner."
"Me!? As I remember it your dad wasn't too happy about your sexuality and was trying to run me out of the house! It just so happened the ants were in my way," Kiba huffs. I laugh a little.
"How'd Iruka take it?" Shino asks politely.
"Hopefully better then your dad," Kiba mutters under his breath.
"Yeah way better. There was some awkward questioning, you should have seen Gaara's face, but for the most part everything was great," I say happily. Being out of that town…I just feel a little bit lighter.
"So you two getting along well I see," I smile at the new couple.
"Yeah..it's amazing how different it feels," Kiba says in an uncharacteristically sweet voice. I can't help but laugh at my friend, who only scowls.
"To think you were so opposed the idea only a couple of months ago."
"Denial is a powerful thing," Shino mutters out.
"I don't need you two women ganging up on me!" Kiba snorts.
"Why are you two studying for anyway?" I question just to make some small talk.
" Exams are coming up soon!" Kiba says bluntly.
"Yeah like, what? Next month?"
"Well some people would like to pass," Kiba mutters out.
"Gaara?" I knock on the door again. Finally it opens. "What took so long?"
"Sorry I was working on something…" Gaara trails off.
"Are you busy today?" I question
Gaara's green eyes study me for a moment and he seems to be pondering about something. Then his tense shoulders relax a little and he closes the front door.
"It's nothing I can't handle." He says solemnly. I give Gaara look of pity and reach out for him. I can almost see the invisible weight that's perched on his shoulder.
"Something wrong?" I question with extreme worry. I remember how yesterday morning he had the same tone of voice. Is he keeping something from me?
Gaara looks at me, his eyes run over every inch of my body. Yet when he opens his mouth he doesn't speak, but simply shakes his head.
"I suppose my lack of sleep is catching up with me," he's lying, I can tell. My eyebrows tilt down in anger, and I want to ask him to tell me the truth, but at the same time I back off.
"I see, well try and get some sleep tonight, ok?" Gaara nods halfheartedly. His mind seems to be somewhere else. It's almost like he's weighting the good against the bad. Or, maybe I'm just acting paranoid.
I take in a deep breath and put on a smile. I trust that Gaara will tell me anything, if he finds it necessary. Maybe it's not that important…maybe he doesn't want me to worry about it. Even though by acting like this and not tell me what's wrong, he's just making me worry more.
However as his bright side, I have to be sunny. I'll try not to worry; I trust Gaara, really I do.
"So what are you working on now?"
"I started on a painting, but then I had to make a phone call," Gaara says in a monotone voice.
"Oh may I see it?"
"Actually, I'd rather show it to you once it's done," Gaara's tone of voice is really starting to worry me.
"Ok, that's fine," I say cheerfully. If it's one thing I'm good at, it's covering up my feelings. Gaara usually can do the same, but today it's just obvious something is on his mind.
"Let's just watch some TV," my red head offers, and we head to the living room. As we watch TV, I bring comfort to my boyfriend by talking and acting like I'm none the wiser. The conversations I coax out of him seem to have a soothing affect on Gaara. I'm glad, but at the same time I wish I knew exactly what's wrong.
A/N: I'm going on vacation on the 9th and won't be in the states again until the 23rd. So all my stores will be on hold until I get back!
