I don't want to hold your gaze

I'm scared what I might see there


Shikamaru was sprinting through the streets of Konoha on his way to the Hokage's office. Of course he had woken up late for his meeting. What else would he have done, set an alarm and wake up on time? Not a chance.

Shikamaru had assumed that this meeting was about one of two things: either a promotion or a new mission. He had been skipping out on missions the past few weeks to accommodate his new schedule as the head of his clan and aside from a few quick deliveries to neighboring inns and tea shops, Shikamaru hadn't stepped one foot out of the Leaf in quite a few weeks.

As he quickly bounded up to steps leading to the Rokudaime Hokage's office, the lazy shinobi heard a nonchalant voice say from behind him, "Hey."

Shikamaru turned around only to see Hatake Kakashi dressed in his Hokage robes, waving casually at him. And I thought I was late…

"What's up? What are you doing here?" the Rokudaime asked.

"Well, you called me here." Shikamaru said, awkwardly placing a hand behind his head.

The surprise registered onto Kakashi's expression. "Did I? Hm, well in that case, let's go inside and chat…"

After the two of them became situated across from each other, Kakashi immediately began impatiently flipping through his messy bundles of folders. He murmured a few curses underneath his breath as the thin pages kept slipping between his fingers. Eventually he grabbed a clump of pages in particular, creasing them with the bare force from his fist.

"Ah, yes, Shikamaru…" Kakashi mumbled, a small sense of triumph in his voice. "I guess I did ask you to come here."

"Well… yeah."

Kakashi's squinting black pupils scanned over the papers in front of him. "It looks like the Kazekage has requested for you to escort their ambassador from Suna to Konoha."

Shikamaru's narrow eyes widened comically. "So you mean... Sabaku no Temari?"

Kakashi leaned in closer towards the pages scattered across his desk. "Yes, that's her," he responded, "She's the Kazekage's sister, isn't she? The one who went missing during the war."

The Nara head nodded slightly in confirmation, unwilling to disclose any further information at Temari's expense.

"Are you two friends?" Kakashi asked offhandedly as he filled in some blank spaces on Gaara's request.

Shikamaru merely shrugged. Temari had become quite a hot topic for gossips in Konoha during the weeks following her departure and he definitely didn't want to do anything to reignite them. Though he severely doubted Kakashi would spread anything, it was better to keep his communications with her a secret for the time being.

He remembered when Choji had first confronted him with knowledge of the rumors one lazy afternoon over a cheap lunch eating out.

"Who did you hear that from?" Shikamaru had demanded, causing a bit of a stir inside the restaurant. Choji shielded his hands in front of him defensively, citing Ino as his source and leaving it at that as his friend marched outside the door with a purpose.

When Shikamaru arrived at the Yamanaka flower shop, the bell practically slid off the doorway with the force he exerted opening it.

"Hey, what's up?" Ino greeted him lethargically, her hand moving over her pink-stained mouth outstretching into a yawn.

"What the hell, Ino?"
She shot him an annoyed look, suddenly looking much more alert than she had just moments before. "What's your deal?"

Shikamaru's voice rose beyond his control. "Choji told me all the shit you were telling him about Temari. Why would you tell anyone that? That's private stuff, I thought that as a girl you would at least - ''

"I only told Choji." Ino interrupted, crossing her arms over her apron in with a sour look upon her face. "And my mom. And Tenten. Hinata already knows because Sakura told her, which is coincidentally who I heard it from! So if you really want to go spaz out on someone, find billboard brow and leave me alone!"

"Yeah? And who did Sakura hear it from?"

Ino was not pleased with his belligerence. "Sakura didn't need anyone to tell her, she's the one who figured everything out, dummy!"

"Yeah, well, I don't give a crap! You need to go visit all your friends and tell them to cut it out and keep their mouths shut." Shikamaru spat in anger. "Choji's like the fourth person I've heard talking about it. Temari doesn't need to deal with this when she comes back over here."

It was wishful thinking that Ino would actually go through with meeting his demands. Even if she had, the gossip had hatched and would continue to circulate for the weeks following. Though the rumors had simmered down considerably, Sakura's loose lips had still ensured that the majority of Konoha had Temari in the back of their minds on the day of Shikamaru's departure to Suna.

He didn't know how to feel about seeing his friend again. He missed her, of course, but he felt awkward knowing so much about her private life that she had surely not wanted anyone to be so aware of without her knowledge.

It was rather unusual for Gaara to request his sister an escort for a simple journey to the Leaf, but it wasn't impractical, considering… Shikamaru's face flushed, and he started walking a little faster.

He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Or like she was being babysat. He would treat this trip as a friendly outing, as if nothing ever happened. He wouldn't even mention it.

That didn't mean his jaw didn't clench every time he thought about it.


Temari was still munching meagerly at her breakfast when she received word that Gaara had summoned her presence at his office.

The past few days she had been taking on modest D-rank missions. She could be seen scurrying around Suna tracking down stray animals, delivering packages, pr helping the elderly navigate around the village. Gaara insisted that he would gradually increase her workload until it rose back up to her old jonin duties but Kankuro of course adored any excuse to tease his sister mercilessly.

She was still rather tired despite just waking up. The sleeping medication Gaara had gifted her wasn't working as well anymore. Perhaps it was from overuse. She had found that its effects became dwarfed the longer she used it nightly; it now took two pills per night for her to even get an hour of rest and that was in between nightmare after nightmare swaying her harshly out of sleep.

Temari never knocked before entering the Kazekage's office. She glided the door open in a fluid motion and stood in front of Gaara's form sitting straight up at his desk, a plethora of books stacked neatly at the edge.

"My dear sister," Gaara addressed her, his face devoid of the usual pleasure it possessed when greeting his family. He motioned for her to take a seat in front of him. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Fine, and yourself?" Temari set her things down underneath her chair.

"I'm okay," he responded, and without pause dove right in. "So I would like you to know that I have reinstated your status as ambassador to Konoha."

A weary smile stretched slowly across Temari's face. "Thank you, Gaara."

"Anything for your happiness," Gaara said. "But there are a few conditions that have to be met."

Her smile steadily dropped.

"I've requested an escort to accompany you to and from Konoha for your next trip." Gaara held up his hands defensively. "I know what you're thinking, but please bear with me. Your safety is my top priority."

In the misadventurous years of Temari's life, one thing she had learned was how to pick and choose her battles. She had fought Gaara on her title of ambassador and won - for this round, she had to fold.

"Okay." she nodded, allowing him to continue.

The Kazekage hesitated, a moment of surprise flickering across his features at her quick submission. "Well, Temari… do you ever feel… Lonely?"

"I have everything that I need, Gaara," Temari supplied, fully aware even in her exhausted state that marriage was surely on his mind.

"I'm sure Kankuro has already told you," Gaara said, letting out a hearty sigh. "I just want what's best for you. You look so unhappy these days... I have been corresponding with neighboring villages, political figures with the same status as yourself that desire the same things as well. They would love to meet you."

Temari started shaking her head without even thinking. No, that was the exact opposite of what she desired. But did her brother even care about her aspirations anymore?

To be offered up like a meal to some carnivorous monster that would only swallow what was left of her will… And the possibility of living the rest of her life like that? She would rather die.

"Please, my dear sister. At least entertain the idea. I have profiles on the suitors right here in this folder. You can flip through them while you're away and come back with an answer of who you would like me to arrange a meeting with. It's that simple." Gaara's voice had adopted an imploring tone.

Why is he so desperate? "I'm not pregnant, you know." Temari blurted out. "If that's what you're worried about." If that's why you're trying to get rid of me...

"Of course that is good to hear, but I..." Gaara swallowed. "I would have difficulties sending you away without knowing our issues would soon be resolved."

Temari immediately recognized Gaara's intentions: a thinly veiled threat. No date of diplomacy, no ambassador to Konoha. His head was turned to the side in shame of facing her after what he had said.

"Okay, Gaara, then I will do it." she said, a sense of defeat filtering through her body. She would amuse his wishes, select some self-righteous man to meet over a dinner meeting. It would be painfully awkward and uncomfortable, but at least then her little brothers would become better acquainted with the reality that she would die alone after she absolutely wrecked the date. This was simply a segue.


Shikamaru arrived at the entrance to Suna rather early on his third day of travelling. He presented his documentation to the guards and was easily granted access inside.

He had never been to Suna before, and could now understand why the civilians wore mesh nets over their head: to protect their eyes from the sand twirling in the wind all around him. The heat blazed down on his multiple layers of clothing and he suddenly regretted wearing his long-sleeved shirt on this sickeningly sunny morning.

One of the guards directed him to the Kazekage's office where he was supposed to meet Gaara and presumably Temari as well. It was a well-built, dome shaped building that Shikamaru assumed architecturally would stand its ground against the common sandstorms that frequented Suna. The flight of stairs was fortunately much shorter than those leading up to the Hokage's office.

The guard was silent the entire trip through and departed quietly just as Shikamaru began knocking upon Gaara's door, listening intently until he was offered a muffled, "Come in."

Shikamaru gently pushed the door open, revealing Gaara to be seated at his desk, alone in the room. Shikamaru lowered himself into a respectful bow before offering the wound binder of documents to the Kazekage, who accepted them with a nod of appreciation and started leisurely flipping through the stack of papers as he spoke, "Shikamaru Nara. Thank you for coming all this way."

"Of course." said Shikamaru.

"Usually I would not take such precaution before allowing Temari to go along her duties as ambassador, but with the recent events I have put her safety as my top priority. That is why I requested for you to escort her to and from Konoha." Gaara explained. "I would also like you two to take a different route than usual as extra insurance. It's slightly longer, but my sister has taken it before and there is no need for a map."

It's been… what, two months? Shikamaru thought to himself. Gaara is still pretty troubled over things…

"Temari will probably only stay in Konoha for two to three days," the Kazekage continued. "Please keep an eye on her even while you're in the village. She is in possession of the documents that need to be delivered to the Hokage and she should be waiting for you at the entrance in ten minutes or so. Again, thank you and please stay safe."

Temari was in fact standing at the front gates by the time Shikamaru arrived. He wondered if he had been late at all, but easily figured that she would have said something if he was.

She did look quite different from the last time he had seen her. She had gained some healthy weight back and the injuries coating her skin had seemingly vanished back into her smooth porcelain face, though the paleness of her complexion did contrast the dark bags hanging underneath her eyes, Shikamaru was pleased to see she looked much better. Fully recovered, in fact.

"Hey, Temari," he reached out a hand to wave at her as they approached each other. She lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she let out a yawn.

"Ready to go?" Shikamaru asked. Temari merely offered him a negligible nod before strolling out the front entrance.

Shikamaru couldn't help but notice that Kankuro was nowhere to be seen as they departed from Suna. He thought that was rather odd, most likely just because he had always assumed the Sand Siblings spent all their time together even when they were at home.

"It's good to see you again," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder in a friendly manner. Temari stopped walking, peering over at him cautiously as she shook his arm off like it was a disease.

"Oh, shit, sorry," Shikamaru murmured. "I forgot that… yeah, I'm sorry."

Temari ignored his apology, continuing their previous conversation. "It's nice to see you too. I'm sorry that Gaara made you come all this way."

He shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

Her gaze shifted downwards as she skillfully changed the topic. "How are things in Konoha?"


Shikamaru could see little beads of sweat billowing on the tip of Temari's hairline, probably the result of the ridiculous black sweater and pants she was wearing underneath her kimono. "Aren't you hot?"

"What?"

"Well, you're wearing like twenty layers of clothing," Shikamaru spoke carefully, well aware of her temperament and worried he would offend her. She was a woman, after all.

"It's very cold in my house. It's because we're rich."

"You're not in your house." Shikamaru argued despite begrudgingly laughing at her comment.

"I was." Temari responded playfully, stifling her giggles with her cloaked arm. "It's rude to comment on a woman's outfit."

"I didn't say anything bad about it," Shikamaru said. "But I am pretty sweaty in my own clothes. I didn't know Suna would be so hot."

"You should've asked me for the weather report," Temari clucked her tongue.

Shikamaru couldn't help but think about how glad he was that his friend had recovered so nicely. She was almost exactly same as before… The rumors must be just that, then, he thought to himself. Just rumors made up by Ino and them. If anything that awful had happened, she wouldn't be acting so normal with me now…

"I'm surprised that you found the time to come babysit me with your new clan responsibilities," said Temari.

He shrugged. "It isn't so difficult after I got used to scheduling things. My mom helps me out a lot."

"I'm sorry about your father," Temari said randomly, surprising the hell out of Shikamaru. He gave her a confused glance as she continued, "I guess no one thought I was important enough to be told of what happened. I know you two had a good friendship."

No, I'm pretty sure that everyone was too scared you were dying that no one thought to tell you, Shikamaru thought. "I don't know if I would call it a friendship. He was my dad, after all. He liked you, actually."

Temari laughed. "Are you lying? I don't even think he knew my name."

"That troublesome girl from Suna," he recalled thoughtfully. "He would always tell me that if I let you keep pushing me around I would end up like him."

"Well, that wouldn't be a bad thing, now would it?"

Shikamaru was surprised by how easily their conversation flowed as their journey progressed. Since they had taken a route following only the outskirts of neighboring tea houses and inns, there weren't any other people scattered about as they trekked along, instead their only company consisted of dehydrated trees and a trail of sand slowly transforming into a dirt path that they followed diligently. Temari of course led the way as she had taken this course before.

When the sun began to set the pair began their separate routines to wind down. Shikamaru used half of a water bottle to wash his face as he felt absolutely disgusting from sweating so severely. He untied the top knot from his scalp and let his hair fall to his shoulders, his shirt halfway removed when he realized that a grave error had been made.

Temari's going to kill me, Kankuro's going to kill me, Gaara's going to kill me…

"T-Temari…" he kept his head hung low as he approached his friend, crouched underneath a tree dutifully studying something on her lap. "I apologize, but I - ''

"Nothing! I'm not doing anything!" she barked, displaying a forced smile as she chuckled awkwardly. "Did you have something to tell me?"

Shikamaru was rather perplexed by her curious behavior, but chose not to push his luck. He let out a sigh. "I, uh… forgot to bring another tent."

Temari's cheeks took on a reddish tint as her mouth parted open slightly.

To Shikamaru's credit, he had never actually been on a mission where he was the supplier of tents. Back in Konoha on group missions everyone was randomly assigned to a specific necessity to bring, whether it was food, water, sleeping bags, or the damned tents. Shikamaru's own backpack was often packed with granola bars.

"Well, I did bring my own sleeping bag," Temari said. "So I'll just sleep outside."

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that." Shikamaru's voice was little more than a mumble as he himself was quite embarrassed. "The tent is pretty big, definitely big enough to share. I won't bother you."

"Uh, sure." She certainly didn't sound very convinced. "I'll probably sleep later than you, though, and I enjoy the fresh air so I'll move my stuff in there after you're already asleep."

"Are you sure?" Shikamaru asked, cautiously eyeing the gloomy bags underneath her eyes, a clear indication of exhaustion. "You look pretty tired."

"No, nope. I'm not tired at all." Temari forced a chuckle. "Wide awake, actually."

She was obviously acting strange, but Shikamaru didn't want to cause her any extra discomfort. He nodded, pointing over to the tent that he had finished setting up just minutes before. "Alright, then. Goodnight, Temari."

"Mmhmm."


Our favorite couple is finally reunited once more!

Thank you guys as always! The next chapter should be out soon!

Have a great day!