A/N: Hey, guys, I'm really sorry about this chapter being so late. I know that I've been updating every week, but I have been busy this week because I'm on spring break, so I didn't have as much time to work on my writing. This chapter is long, though, almost 9,000 words, and it's definitely an important one, so I hope that it was worth the wait! ;)
Clarke and Lexa entered the dropship alone, the blonde having known that it would be a nice place for her to help Lexa get back on her feet. Not many people came inside of it unless they were sick, or planning a war. There had been over a week of peace since Clarke had last seen Anya, and while she was surprised, she wasn't going to complain. Maybe, the Grounders had chosen a peaceful Commander, or maybe they were still holding out hope that their previous Commander would return. Clarke honestly had no idea how things worked with the Grounders, but she didn't really care, as long as they kept doing whatever it was they were doing and left Clarke's people alone.
After looking around for a moment, Clarke spotted the cane she had asked Raven to fashion for Lexa. Instead of grabbing it, though, she looked over Lexa, noticing how spent the other girl already seemed from the walk over to the dropship. She had taken Lexa's stitches out yesterday, and although the girl wanted to walk again right away, Clarke had made her wait another day just to be sure. Clarke wasn't even sure that she would be able to do this today.
"Lex, are you okay?" she asked. "Do you want to sit down?"
The Grounder gritted her teeth, looking like she wanted nothing more than to refuse, but she nodded anyway. Clarke helped to slowly lower her to the ground, and Lexa let out a sigh of relief. At least, the brunette could easily remain in a sitting position now. Clarke knew that walking was still going to be a whole lot harder.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Clarke asked gently. "You can spend another day resting, if you want to."
"No, I can't." Lexa shook her head. "The longer I wait to try this, the weaker I'll become."
Clarke had to admit that Lexa was right. This wasn't as much about Lexa being in pain as it was about her being so used to minimal movement throughout each day. She needed to work up the muscles in her legs again before she would be walking the way that she used to, and it was better for her to start working on it now. No matter how much Clarke wanted to tuck Lexa away and protect her from the world, she needed to accept that it was going to be difficult for Lexa to start walking again, and no amount of additional rest was going to change that.
After grabbing the cane from its position against the wall, Clarke helped Lexa to her feet and tried to hand it to her. Lexa didn't seem eager to take it, though, and the blonde gathered that this girl had never seen a cane before in her life. For a brief moment, she wondered what the Grounders might use instead before she realized that they more than likely used sticks. Lexa looked at the cane skeptically. "What is this?"
"We call it a cane," Clarke explained. "Raven made it for you. Soon, you'll be able to just lean on that for support so that you can make your way around by yourself, even though you still need a little help. The cane will provide that help for you."
Lexa nodded appreciatively, finally deciding that it would be alright for her to take it. She tested it out against the ground a few times, her lips curving up in a barely there smile when she saw how sturdy it was. "You said that I will be able to use this soon, but not yet. What am I expected to do with it now?"
"You can start using it right away, but you'll probably need more support than just that for a little while." Clarke didn't miss the way that Lexa scowled in distaste. "That doesn't mean you can't walk though. You can start out by using the cane with one hand and holding onto my arm with the other. That way, you can have support from both sides."
Lexa nodded in determination, and she immediately grabbed Clarke's arm, clearly eager to begin right away. She braced the cane against the ground, and blue eyes brightened when she saw Lexa taking a successful first few steps. Soon enough, though, Lexa lost her balance and slumped heavily into Clarke. Luckily, the blonde was prepared for something like this to happen, and she could steady Lexa and keep her upright before she fell to the ground. The brunette continued to take shaky steps, and Clarke walked slowly along beside her, murmuring words of encouragement when Lexa would stumble or scrunch her face up in frustration. They had almost made it to the other side of the small area when Lexa lost her balance again and toppled over to the other side. Clarke could admit that she should have been holding Lexa tighter, but she had let down her guard a little bit as Lexa continued to improve. She needed to remember that Lexa wasn't going to get better in two seconds. Clarke was a healer, not a magician. She winced when Lexa hit the ground before Clarke had the chance to catch her.
The warrior growled in frustration, the only thing bruised being her ego. A sorrowful look came over her eyes then, and Clarke could tell that she was put off by her inability to walk right away. It broke Clarke's heart. "I think I might have gotten too weak for this, Clarke."
Blue eyes pricked with the beginnings of tears, and Clarke wished more than anything that her mom was here or that she at least had some real physical therapy equipment. She wished that her people had never even wounded Lexa in the first place. However, Lexa had been coming to kill them, and it's not like Clarke had thought about the Grounders much differently than her people did at that point. She had seen them as savages, no different than the people on the Ark that she and the other delinquents were trying to escape from. But Lexa was different. She was more like Clarke's people than the blonde had ever imagined. She was beautiful and adorable, and she didn't deserve any of this. "I am so sorry, Lexa. I really wish my mom was here to help me with this."
The fire in Lexa's green eyes was immediately doused, replaced with something that looked suspiciously like caring. "No, Clarke, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong, and you don't need your mom to help you with this. You have been doing perfectly with me since you saved me, and you don't need anyone to help you because you're really good at what you do. It's frustrating for me to have to basically relearn how to walk, but I'll be fine the more that I work at it, just like you said."
Clarke tried her best to swallow down her sorrow, chiding herself for not being stronger for Lexa. This had to be extremely hard for the other girl, and here Clarke was, making it all about her. She didn't need to make Lexa feel worse than she already did. Still, Clarke was glad that she got to hear what Lexa had to say about her not needing her mom. It made her feel proud of herself, not only because it had been Lexa who had said it, but because it was true. No matter how much she doubted herself, she was proving to be a really good healer. She wondered if her mom ever doubted herself this way when she was performing a risky surgery or something of the like. If she did, it never showed.
"You ready to try again?" Clarke extended her hands down to Lexa.
"Yes," Lexa said simply, looking much more confident and relaxed than she had when she had first fallen.
She accepted Clarke's help to pull herself to her feet. Clarke kept a firm arm around Lexa's waist this time, allowing the brunette to grip her around her own waist for support. She didn't want Lexa to get hurt if she kept falling. Clarke was surprised when they made it all the way around the dropship before the next fall happened. She knew that this activity couldn't be easy on her patient, and she was kind of amazed that Lexa was so determined and driven. Lexa was strong; Clarke was certain of that.
This time, Clarke was sure to tighten her grip around Lexa when the other girl lost her balance, and while she couldn't hold Lexa up completely, she was able to significantly slow her fall. Lexa landed softly on her butt, and she giggled when Clarke was practically pulled onto her lap. Clarke smiled like a fool at the sound, and she squealed in surprise when she felt Lexa pull her all the way into her lap. At the proximity of her face to Lexa's, Clarke couldn't help but let out some shy giggles of her own. It would be so easy for her to lean forward the short distance and connect their lips. She knew she couldn't do it though. She needed to help Lexa get back on her feet again, and she didn't want to make it awkward when Lexa still needed her.
The brunette smiled at the sound of Clarke's own laugh and lightly tapped her nose, something that she had no doubt picked up from the girl in her lap. "You are cute, Clarke."
The Sky Girl couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks at the sweet words. She knew that Lexa probably didn't mean anything by them, but she couldn't keep herself from wishing that she did. Before she really had a chance to think about it, she blurted out, "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that you are cute, Clarke," Lexa repeated easily, letting out another small giggle, "and I like having you around. There's no one else I'd rather have help me walk again. I also really like holding you."
Clarke's cheeks grew redder, and she leaned her head against Lexa's chest, sighing as slender fingers came up to tangle in her hair. She didn't want to be held by anyone else for the rest of her life because of how good she felt in Lexa's arms. She could probably listen to the sound of the other girl's quiet giggles for the rest of her life. She knew that there was a good chance that Lexa's words had been meant in a nonplatonic way. She also knew that this was a perfect moment for her to admit to Lexa that she liked her, to say something that would show Lexa how much she had begun to feel for her in their time together. Instead, she said something stupid. "I like spending time with you, too, and I love it when you hold me."
She cursed herself the minute the words were out of her mouth for missing her opportunity, but at least they got her more minutes of being wrapped up in Lexa's arms. The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes, and Clarke closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of Lexa's fingers in her hair and the sound of the warrior's steady heartbeat. She was grateful that the heart beneath her was still beating because she knew that it had come frighteningly close to stopping. What if Lexa had died in that explosion? Clarke didn't even want to think about a world without this incredible girl in it. What if, instead of missing the shot, Jasper had hit the target on his first try, blowing up the bridge and leaving the Grounders relatively unharmed on the other side? Clarke knew that this should've been the best possible scenario. She should wish that this had happened, wish that Lexa had never been hurt at all, but she couldn't bring herself to. She knew that it was selfish, but she was glad that she had gotten the chance to meet Lexa, no matter what the circumstances, and she didn't like the thought of living her entire life on the same planet as this beautiful girl without ever getting to know her. She couldn't even remember what her life had been like without Lexa in it, and she hadn't even known her for three weeks. She only knew that this was the first time she'd been anywhere close to happy since she had landed on the ground.
"You ready to try again?" Lexa murmured into Clarke's hair after an amount of time that was unknown to Clarke.
The blonde pulled back to look her companion in the eye with a wide smile. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"
Lexa shrugged. "You seemed like you had something on your mind. Perhaps, something that wasn't entirely pleasant."
"I did, but you calmed me down. I feel much better now that you've been holding me."
Lexa only smiled at her, so Clarke climbed out of the warrior's lap and pulled the other girl back to her feet to begin the next couple of hours of walking around the dropship. Clarke was honestly surprised by how much progress Lexa was making. Whereas she had only been dragging her feet at the beginning of the day, she was moving them almost naturally by the end, and she had become much more balanced, able to stay on her feet without falling. Not surprisingly, Lexa was completely spent by the end of their session, and she sunk to the ground the minute Clarke urged her to call it quits. Clarke glanced worriedly at her patient, slightly afraid that the other girl wasn't going to be able to make it back to their tent. She didn't have anything against sleeping in the dropship. Her only problem with it was that anyone could walk in at any time to see the two of them all cuddled up together, and she didn't want rumors to get started around camp unless they were true. Clarke knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep tonight without the other girl's arms around her.
"Okay, I'm ready to go back to our tent," Lexa said after several long minutes had gone by.
Clarke tried to keep the smile off her face at the realization that Lexa had come to think of the tent as theirs instead of just Clarke's as well. It was nice to see the warrior coming to think of this place as home, and it was even nicer to see that Lexa most likely never wanted her own tent. Clarke never wanted the brunette to move out of the one they shared now either.
"You sure you can make it?" Clarke asked, a bit of teasing glint sneaking into her eyes.
Lexa simply rolled her green eyes in mock annoyance. "Of course I can make it, Clarke. I am a warrior."
Lexa sighed in relief when she finally returned to her and Clarke's tent after another grueling day of learning how to walk again. It was a particularly tiring and slightly painful experience, but Lexa didn't care. She was determined to get back on her feet. She needed to help out on hunting and border patrols to repay these people for allowing her to stay here and to earn her position among them. She might even be able to teach them how to fight. She was the best fighter amongst her people, and she could teach the Skaikru how to use every weapon with ease. Except guns, of course. She knew that the people in the mountain were long gone, but the old legend of what would happen if she picked up a gun still haunted her mind. Besides, she had no idea how to even go about using such a weapon, and one wrong move could kill her. All it would take was one bullet piercing her flesh. After her recent dance with death, she wanted to stay far away from these people's guns.
On a brighter note, Lexa knew that she was getting much better at walking. She hadn't fallen once today, although she still had had to take some breaks to rest, and her legs weren't feeling as wobbly. She still held onto Clarke's arm as well as the cane, but she knew she wasn't going to need to do that for much longer either. She had thought about letting go of Clarke's arm today to see how she would fare, but she decided to save that for tomorrow, wanting to keep up her record of not falling. Clarke was clearly impressed with Lexa's improvement, and the brunette was glad that she could make the other girl proud with her unrelenting drive to get strong again.
After a nice dinner that had Lexa feeling rejuvenated, Clarke told the brunette that she needed to go out on a border patrol. Lexa's face instantly fell, but she nodded in understanding all the same. Of course, she wasn't going to keep Clarke from doing her duties, but she really didn't like it when the blonde girl had to leave. She was still slightly frustrated with herself for not telling the other girl how she felt yesterday. Clarke had provided her with the perfect opportunity to elaborate on what she meant when she had called the Sky Girl cute, and she had blown it. There were times when she wanted nothing more than to be with the blonde and times when she was too afraid of having her heart broken again, and she knew that she really needed to decide what she wanted to do before it was too late. Lexa was not blind to the way Finn looked at Clarke, but Lexa couldn't decide whether she truly liked the blonde enough to open up her heart again. All she knew was that she didn't really like it when Clarke had to leave her.
"Do you want to go sit outside with Octavia and Raven while you wait for me to get back?" Clarke offered. "I'm sure they're still out there by the fire. My friends have made it their personal hangout at dinner. It really annoys the people who want to get warm."
Lexa's face immediately lit up at the prospect of not having to spend the next few hours by herself, and she nodded eagerly. Plus, she really did like Octavia and Raven. They had been the kindest to her since she'd arrived. The only con to going outside to sit with them was that Lexa would have to walk again. She found that she didn't really care, though, since she was getting the chance to spend time with her new friends.
Clarke helped Lexa to her feet and handed her cane to her before they set off to the fire at a comfortable pace. Lexa liked walking out in the fresh air rather than in the confinement of the dropship, but she knew why Clarke had chosen that as their starting point. She had known that Lexa wouldn't want anyone else to see her falling and struggling to walk. Now that Lexa was getting better, though, she wondered if they might be able to take their walks outside.
"Hey, guys," Raven greeted cheerfully as Lexa sank down on the log beside her, not nearly as out of breath as she had thought she might be. "What's up?"
Lexa looked up at the sky with a puzzled frown before realizing that this phrase must mean something different to the Sky People. Surely, Raven knew that the sky was in the upwards direction.
Raven caught Lexa staring up at the sky and chuckled. "It's just an expression. It means 'what's happening?' or maybe 'why are you out here when I know that you've already eaten?'"
"I have to go out on border patrol." Clarke scrunched her nose up in distaste as she laid Lexa's cane against the log beside her, facing away from the fire. "Will you make sure to take care of Lexa while I'm gone? Like, keep her company for a while, and if she wants to go back to the tent, will you help her walk there?"
"Sure," Raven said happily. "Lexa's in great hands with us."
"Okay, she walks with her cane in one hand, and with the other hand, she needs to grip your arm, so make sure to hold it out nice and sturdy for her," Clarke instructed, "and she'll probably need help getting up."
Raven just blinked at her. "I'm not blind, Clarke. I watched you two walk over here. Besides, Lexa can talk, you know. She could've easily told me everything that you just said if it was necessary. You're acting like you're leaving your child at school for the first time."
"I feel like it, too." Clarke sighed, running a hand through her blond hair.
Lexa bristled at that statement, not liking the way that she was being referred to as a child, like she couldn't take care of herself. She was perfectly capable of spending a few hours with Octavia and Raven, especially now that she could pretty much walk on her own. She knew that Clarke was only acting this way because she cared about Lexa, but the brunette found it unnecessary and a little annoying.
"Just get your ass out there." Raven made a shooing motion with her hand. "Lexa will have a great time with us. Right, O?"
Octavia nodded her head. "We're much better company than you are anyway, Clarke."
Clarke scoffed at the other girl, and Lexa worried that she had been upset by Octavia's statement until she stuck out her tongue. Octavia was happy to reciprocate it, and then Clarke was walking off in the direction of the gate, shaking her head. Lexa might not have wanted her to leave only moments ago, but she was slightly glad that the other girl was gone now. She wasn't a fan of being fussed over, and she couldn't deny that the blonde girl was embarrassing her in front of these people that she was coming to think of as her friends as well.
Raven seemed to easily pick up on Lexa's emotions. "Glad to have her out of your hair?"
"It is not that I do not like, Clarke," Lexa answered. "I love spending time with her. I just do not enjoy being treated as if I am a child. I can take care of myself."
"We know," Octavia said, a teasing glint developing in her eyes. "You are a warrior, after all."
Lexa wondered if maybe she shouldn't have used that defense to Clarke every time the blonde questioned her ability to do something. Clearly, the Sky Girl had told her friends, and for whatever reason, Octavia found it humorous. Lexa thought about asking, but she decided to let it slide in favor of getting to know Clarke's friends better. She hoped they would become her friends as well. "So, what do you two contribute to your people?"
"I'm a mechanic," Raven answered proudly.
Lexa assumed that this was a great accomplishment, but she had never heard the term before in her life. Her people didn't have mechanics, so she wondered how this could be such a great thing if not everyone needed them. Maybe her people had a different term for the position. She cocked her head to the side as she asked, "What is that?"
"I work on machines and stuff. I fix what needs to be fixed and build what needs to be built. I make ammo for my people, and I was the one who built the bomb that blew up the bridge."
Lexa appreciated the part about the ammo. She could see now why the Sky People needed mechanics while hers did not. However, she was still sort of confused about the first part of Raven's statement. "What are machines?"
"Technology," Raven tried, but Lexa shrugged at the other unfamiliar term. Raven thought for a moment before pulling something out of her jacket pocket and pointing to it. "This is a machine, a sort of radio. We call it a walkie talkie, and it's used to transmit our voices to people who aren't in the same area as us. For example, if Octavia took hers with her, I could talk to her with mine, no matter where she was."
Lexa's eyes widened in amazement and immense curiosity. She had never even heard of such a thing before, and she wondered, not for the first time, how the Sky People were able to do these things that seemed like magic to her. Octavia clearly caught onto Lexa's look because she was flipping out her own walkie talkie seconds later and gesturing in the direction of the food tent. "I'll go in there with mine, and you can use Raven's to talk to me, Lexa."
The warrior nodded eagerly, and Octavia smiled, making her way to the food tent. Once Octavia had disappeared inside, Lexa stared intently at Raven's device, only half expecting this magic act to work. It couldn't actually be possible, could it? Yet, after a few seconds, a crackling sound began to come through the device, and it was followed by a voice. "Hey, Lexa. It's Octavia. Can you hear me?"
Lexa let out a laugh of wonderment, taking the device from Raven so that she could respond. "How do I answer?"
"Just hold the button on the side while you're speaking," Raven explained, pointing to the button she was referring to.
Lexa did as she was told. "Yes, I can hear you. How is this even possible?"
She could hear Octavia laugh from the other end. "I'm not sure. That would be more of a Raven question, although you probably wouldn't understand her. No one can really follow the conversation when she starts speaking about tech stuff. Walkie talkies are pretty cool, though, when you think about it."
"It's amazing," Lexa said. She was about to let go of the button when she had a sudden thought. "Do you think you could bring me more food while you're in there?"
"I think I can snag a bit more meat for all of us," Octavia responded, and Lexa could somehow tell that the other girl was smirking. It pleased her to know that she was already getting used to being around these new people.
"Snag?" Lexa turned to Raven, unable to help herself from questioning this term being used in such an unfamiliar way.
"It's similar to grab, but it implies that she'll do it while no one is looking," Raven explained easily. "Soon, we'll have you speaking like us. I promise."
Lexa didn't know about that, but she didn't respond, instead waiting eagerly for her meat, as she was still feeling hungry, probably from all the walking she had done that day. Her eyes brightened when she saw the meat in Octavia's hands as the other girl exited the tent, and she grabbed her portion almost as fast as Raven did. The three of them munched on the meat while casually talking to one another, and Lexa found herself enjoying how relaxed these people were. If someone had asked for extra food with her people, they would more than likely be denied, and if they had taken it without permission, like Octavia just had, they would have been punished. Especially if they were feeding it to an outsider. No one even looked in Octavia's direction, though, and Lexa knew that taking extra food was not a big deal to these people. It almost seemed like nothing really was a big deal with these strange people from the sky.
Once Lexa's stomach felt uncomfortably full, she found herself in a bit of a food coma, and she wanted nothing more than to lie down. She slowly rubbed her belly to soothe it, contemplating on whether or not the others would want to hang out in Clarke's tent with her. She figured that they would be fine with it, and she was just about to ask when there was a commotion by the gate, catching her attention as well as the attention of many others.
A boy ran through the newly open gate, panting heavily and unable to form coherent sentences. Lexa couldn't understand a single word that he was saying from where she sat, but his wide eyes and gasping breaths made her think that he was more than likely being chased by something. She wondered for a moment if that something might have been her people, but she instantly knew that it was not when a black panther bounded through the gate. The boy let out a high-pitched shriek of fright and dove into the nearest tent. The big cat looked around for a moment, seemingly overcome by the amount of people in the camp and unsure of what to do. The Sky People seemed just as shocked, staring at the panther with wide eyes, and Lexa rolled her eyes at the fact that no one had even reached for their gun yet. These people might have been carefree, but it seemed as if they didn't even know how to defend themselves at all. Lexa thought that she would probably need to help them with that.
Yellow eyes seemed to zero in on the meat that Octavia still held in her hand, as she was the last of the small group to finish eating, and before anyone could even think, it was bounding towards her. She backed up in fright, but Lexa knew that the other girl wouldn't be able to outrun the animal. She hurriedly pushed herself to her feet with the help of her cane, grabbing her dagger from the cuff on her thigh. She was extremely grateful that she had decided to keep that with her at all times, even though she had discarded her old clothes.
As soon as the panther leapt, Lexa sent her dagger twirling through the air. Even though the force of the throw sent her falling hard onto her ass, she smiled in satisfaction when the weapon sank into the large cat's heart. The panther fell onto Octavia, knocking her to the ground, but other than that, it did no harm. It quickly rolled off of her in favor of writhing on the ground for a few seconds before dying. Lexa couldn't help but be proud of herself, and she didn't miss it when Octavia sent her a look full of gratitude.
"Are you okay, O?" Raven was the first to break the shocked silence that had settled over the camp the minute that the panther jumped through the gate.
"Fine." Octavia pushed to her feet, brushing the dirt off of her clothes, clearly not injured in any way.
People began to cheer at the fact that Octavia had not been injured, and Lexa thought that they might have also been cheering for her. Many of them gave her nods of appreciation and thanked her. Still, many more crowded around them all, trying to get a closer look at the panther.
"Are you okay, Lexa?" Raven asked when she noticed that Lexa hadn't moved from where she had fallen.
"Yes," Lexa said, although her entire body ached from the fall. However, she knew that she hadn't been seriously injured. "I think I need help getting up though."
Raven nodded and pulled Lexa up from the ground. The warrior immediately sat back on the log that she had previously occupied, knowing that Clarke would be proud of her, not only for accepting help from Raven but for asking for it. A few days ago, she knew that she would've wished it didn't matter so much to her what Clarke might think. Now, though, she didn't care. Having feelings for Clarke wasn't a weakness, and now, she only wished that it wasn't so hard to tell the blonde about them.
Suddenly, there was the sound of someone shouting, and the crowds began to part around the person who was emitting the sound. It only took Lexa a moment to recognize that someone as Bellamy, pushing his way through the throng of people so that he might be able to get to his sister. He immediately wrapped his arms around her when he saw her, pulling back to look her over afterwards. "O, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Bell." Octavia shook him off, but it was impossible to miss the slight shock that was still present in her hazel eyes. "The cat was pretty much dead when it fell on me. Lexa saved me."
Bellamy looked up at Lexa then with a mixture of amazement and surprise. He clearly hadn't been expecting her to help out one of the Sky People, as it was no secret that he still didn't trust her. She could see the warring thoughts in his head even now. He wanted to hate her, but he also knew that she could've just sat by, like the rest of his people, and watched his sister die. In the end, his relief at his sister's safety won out, and he nodded gratefully to Lexa. She easily nodded back, wanting him to see that she was serious about being a member of Skaikru. There was no reason for him not to trust her. She didn't know what that nod meant for their relationship, but she did know that he might not be looking so hard for reasons to kill her in the future. He might just let her live in peace.
After taking a short nap in her tent, Lexa awoke to see that Clarke still hadn't returned. She wondered if she should be worried that the blonde was taking so long, but she knew from experience that border patrols could be lengthy processes. It probably took even longer if you were out with people you knew, and come to think of it, Lexa hadn't seen Monty at all during her time at the fire. Clarke was probably taking her time to catch up with her friend. An idea suddenly popped into Lexa's head as she stared above her, and she found that she wasn't so content to lie there and wait anymore. She wanted to go somewhere all on her own.
Using her cane to help her, she slowly pulled herself up from the ground and smiled when she remained on her feet. Her balance was a little shaky as she took her first few steps forward, so she stuck her cane out in front of her, holding it with both hands to keep herself upright. It was a slow and awkward process, but she wasn't in any sort of pain, so she kept on going. She was pleased when the guard at the gate didn't even question her before opening up the doors, although he did look a little skeptical. It seemed that the people around the camp might finally be starting to trust her, now that they had seen her save Octavia's life.
"You're coming back, right?" the guard called after Lexa as she made her way out of the camp.
Lexa nodded. "Of course I am. When Clarke comes back, let her know that I have gone out, and she will know where to find me. Tell her I'll be waiting for her."
The guard nodded to her before closing the gates behind her, and she began her trek through the woods, hoping that she would not accidentally run into Clarke before she reached her destination. The walk seemed long, and it was hard for her to make it all by herself, but Lexa was nothing if not determined, and she was thankfully becoming much stronger again, too. She was gasping for breath by the time that she reached the clearing with the glowing flowers, but she had made it all on her own, and that was all that really mattered to her. She slumped against the tree that she and Clarke had slept against two weeks ago, resting her cane beside her. She wiped away the sheen of sweat that had settled on her brow, feeling pretty spent now that she was finally sitting. The walk had taken a lot out of her, but she was just glad that every step didn't send a blinding pain through her stomach anymore, as it had the last time.
As the minutes stretched on, Lexa's body practically begged her for sleep, her limbs feeling heavy with exhaustion and her eyelids beginning to droop. However, she forced them to stay open. She wanted to be awake when Clarke arrived. If the blonde actually did. It was silly to think that Clarke wouldn't know where Lexa had gone. This was really the only place that it could be. Lexa couldn't stop herself from having a short moment of worry though. If Clarke didn't come for her, she would most likely have to spend the rest of the night there or at least a few more hours. As much as she hated to admit it, she didn't think that she would be able to pull herself up from the ground anytime soon. So, she simply sat there, waiting for the girl that she spent most of her time with nowadays to show up. This was the place where she had first started to truly trust Clarke, and she hoped that this place meant as much to the blonde as it had come to mean to Lexa.
She realized that she must have dozed off a bit, despite her best efforts, when her eyes fluttered open to the sound of a slightly worried voice calling her name. Clarke. Lexa would recognize that voice anywhere, and, really, who else would know to look for her here? The blonde couldn't be far away, but Lexa knew that the other girl couldn't see her because the tree that she was leaning against was hiding her from view. This was more than likely the reason for the worry that she heard in Clarke's voice. Lexa wished that she could run out from behind the tree and envelope Clarke in a hug or something of the sort, but she didn't want to risk hurting herself since she had been doing so well in the last couple of days. She settled instead for simply announcing her presence. "I am here, Clarke."
The blonde appeared in front of her in record time, and Lexa couldn't help a small smile from appearing on her face at the sight of the Sky Girl. Clarke smiled as well, but she still looked a little bit uneasy. "I can't believe you walked all the way out here by yourself. Are you okay?"
Lexa rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, I'm okay, Clarke. Why wouldn't I be? Did you expect me to be attacked on my way here?"
The blonde let out a small chuckle. "No. It's just that this was a really long walk for you, and I'm proud of you for doing it all by yourself."
"There is no need to be proud, Clarke. You know I'm a warrior, right?" The brunette shot her a wink, something that she had seen Raven do quite a few times. She hoped she had done it right. The faint blush that spread across Clarke's cheeks in response told her that she had.
"Yes, Lexa, you're a warrior," Clarke said with a fond smile. "Why did you make it a point to trek all the way out here without me?"
"I wanted to surprise you. I have not forgotten the first time we came here, and I wanted to come here again."
"I guess it is like our special place, huh? What were you gonna do if I didn't show?" Clarke asked with a teasing smirk.
"I knew that you would know exactly where to go if I left that message with the guard," Lexa replied easily.
"It's good to see that you trust me." Clarke smiled warmly, extending her hands down to the brunette. "Do you want help getting up?"
"Yes, please." Lexa clasped Clarke's hands in hers.
She pulled herself to her feet with a loud grunt, glad for Clarke's support. She reached back for her cane, turning her head back to look behind her when she couldn't find it with her hand. She realized that it had fallen to the ground in the time that Lexa had spent waiting for Clarke. She must have knocked it over in her sleep or something. She was just about to try her best to bend down and grab it when Clarke squeezed her hands, shaking her head when green eyes rose back up to meet hers. She carefully placed Lexa's hands on her waist instead. "You can hold onto me to keep yourself steady."
Lexa blushed at the feel of Clarke's waist beneath her fingers, and she hoped that Clarke wouldn't notice the redness of her face in the darkness. She knew that she had probably touched Clarke's waist countless times before when they had cuddled, but this just felt more intimate somehow. They had established right off the bat that their cuddling didn't mean anything. They each just wanted someone to hold during the night. It truly had started out like that, but it wasn't just about holding someone anymore for Lexa. She wanted that someone to be Clarke and only Clarke. She wondered if Clarke allowing Lexa to hold her waist meant that the cuddling might have started to mean more to the blonde as well. Lexa wondered if she was ready for that. "Are you sure that you want me touching your waist?"
"Lexa, I've had my hands all over your waist when I've been helping you walk these past few days. I thought I'd return the favor." Clarke winked with a cheeky grin, and Lexa's blush deepened.
"Then, I suppose I shall return the favor as well." Lexa was surprised at how quickly she regained her composure, shooting Clarke a cheeky grin and wink of her own.
The blonde was confused for a moment, but Lexa watched that confusion disappear when she grabbed a flower from where it was growing beside her and slid it into Clarke's hair. The blonde smiled adorably, and Lexa lost her shyness, wrapping one arm fully around Clarke's waist as she used the other to pull flowers from the plant beside her and weave them into Clarke's hair. The blonde wrapped her arms around Lexa as well, and the brunette wished that the feel of the other girl pressed up against her wasn't having such a great effect on her. They were never this close together unless they were cuddling, and Lexa couldn't help but hope that this meant something more. Lexa pulled back slightly, albeit reluctantly, when she had finally finished constructing Clarke's glowing crown.
"Now, you can be queen." Lexa remembered the term that Clarke had used when the blonde had given Lexa her crown. Lexa still had a distaste for the word because the Ice Queen was her biggest rival, but she knew that the term had to mean something else to Clarke and her people. There was no way they could have possibly known about the Ice Nation and their terms before they came down here anyway.
Clarke stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, and Lexa was instantly confused. Did Clarke not like it? She was about to ask when the blonde explained herself. "I don't want to be queen without you. Can I give you a flower crown, too?"
Lexa pulled a face. She knew that Clarke had given her a flower crown before, but the blonde had done it without permission, and Lexa hadn't wanted to seem rude by arguing. Lexa thought that flower crowns were childish, though, and she didn't think that she should willingly accept one. She noticed Clarke's bright smile, the happiness in her eyes as she wore her own flower crown. Clarke was strong, practically the leader of her people, and she didn't think anything of wearing a crown of flowers atop her head. Maybe it was the Commander who thought that flower crowns were childish. But what did Lexa think? Lexa thought that Clarke looked very beautiful in her own crown of flowers. Lexa thought that she liked flowers, especially these, and that this had become her and Clarke's special place, where the outside world could not touch them. Lexa thought that she would very much like a flower crown.
She nodded in answer to Clarke's question, and a tiny smile played out on her lips as the other girl moved forward again to begin weaving flowers into the warrior's long brown hair. Lexa reveled in the feeling. She loved when Clarke played with her hair, and she loved the way in which Clarke's face was so close to her own. It would be so easy for her to lean forward and grab Clarke's lips with her own, get the taste of the Sky Girl that she had been desiring for quite some time now. She couldn't bring herself to do it though. She wasn't even sure if Clarke felt the same way, but even if she did, Lexa wanted Clarke to be able to make the move in her own time. She didn't want to pressure the blonde into doing anything before she was ready. Lexa let out a laugh once her crown was complete.
Clarke pulled back a bit in confusion. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing is funny, Clarke," Lexa said happily. "I just feel so carefree right now, so young. I would've never been able to do something like this with my people."
"It's a good thing you're not going back to them then. You don't have to worry about what they would think anymore, Lexa. You're one of us now, and they can't tell you what you can and can't do anymore."
Lexa smiled brightly at the other girl's gentle tone and true words, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss the beautiful girl in front of her. She felt like her hormones were on overdrive tonight, and she didn't know whether it was just the nighttime, the excitement of what had happened with the panther earlier, or how lovely Clarke looked in the blue glow. Maybe, it was the magic of their little clearing, the truly free feeling of being separated from every other human being on the planet. Lexa couldn't decide why she wanted to kiss Clarke so much more today than on any other day. All she knew was that she did. She only wished she had the courage to go through with it.
"What is a queen to your people?" Lexa asked instead, trying to divert her attention from Clarke's beauty. "To me, it means a female ruler of the Ice Nation, but I know that your people didn't even know of the Ice Nation's existence before coming down here. So what is it that you mean when you say that we are queens because of our flower crowns?"
Clarke shrugged. "We don't actually have queens, like your people do. They're just in old stories. Children's stories, mostly. The king and queen are the rulers of the land, and they wear crowns on their heads and live in castles. Maybe I could tell you a story about a queen one time, if I can remember any. I don't know if they actually had queens like that before the apocalypse or if they were just made up, but I've always wondered. It's strange to read old stories from before we went up into space because it's hard to tell what's real and what's not. I mean, any of it could've been real, and the only reason that certain things don't exist anymore is because they were wiped out in the apocalypse, you know? There could have been kings and queens. There could have been dogs. There could have been fairies, too. Who knows?"
Lexa was not sure what a dog or a fairy was, but she was still hung up on Clarke's explanation of a queen. "I suppose we'll never know, Clarke, but why must it be a king and a queen who rule the land? Why not two kings or two queens?"
"I guess the world didn't work that way back then," Clarke said with a shrug, and Lexa huffed. These stories that Clarke spoke of didn't seem very real if they thought that people could only like those of the opposite sex in a romantic manner. Her slight scowl only deepened when Clarke spoke in a teasing tone. "Are you afraid you won't find your king, Lexa?"
"I do not need anyone to rule beside me," Lexa said immediately. "I would be perfectly capable of ruling on my own."
"Of course," Clarke said with a chuckle. "You're an almighty warrior. How could I forget?"
"If I had to choose someone to rule with me, though, I would not want it to be a king. I think that I should like to have a queen beside me."
The words were out before Lexa could even think them through, and she didn't miss the way that Clarke's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She hoped that she hadn't said something wrong. Clarke hadn't acted as if her people were like those mythical people in her stories who were only attracted to the opposite gender. Therefore, it shouldn't come as such a surprise that Lexa liked girls. She wondered if Clarke was only surprised because it meant that Lexa might like her. The brunette did, and she suddenly wanted for Clarke to know it. Lexa wasn't going to steal a kiss or touch Clarke without her permission, but there was nothing wrong with letting the blonde know of her feelings. It was the only way that she was going to gain the knowledge that she so desperately sought: whether or not Clarke returned the feelings that Lexa was developing. "I would like it the most if you would be my queen."
Blue eyes widened, and Lexa simply waited. She wasn't going to retract her statement or play it off like she hadn't meant it in the way that the blonde had thought. She let it hang out in the open, knowing that she needed a confirmation that Clarke was in this as deep as she was before she let her feelings get out of hand. The Commander might have thought that love was weakness, but Lexa no longer bore that title, and she knew that it probably wouldn't be long before her people gave it to someone else. As for Lexa, it had been way too long since she had last opened her heart to somebody, and now that she was finally ready to do it again, now that she was finally starting to remember what having these feelings was like, she wasn't going to let this opportunity slide. It was the perfect time to tell Clarke, when they were nobody but Clarke and Lexa, and the brunette could only hope that Clarke liked Lexa as much as Lexa liked Clarke.
Clarke didn't respond to Lexa's statement verbally. After what felt like a decade, she crashed her lips to Lexa's, and the brunette didn't even have to think twice as she returned the kiss. She didn't bother with keeping it chaste or short, seeing as it was their first kiss. It felt like she had been waiting too damn long for this. She opened her mouth far too soon, tongue poking at Clarke's lips, and it seemed as if the blonde didn't even have to think about it before granting her access, allowing their tongues to twirl around each other as Lexa gripped tightly to Clarke's waist, pulling her impossibly closer. It seemed to Lexa as if Clarke might have been pining for her as long as she had been pining for the blonde, and that fact filled her with even more confidence.
It had been far too long since Lexa had last kissed anyone, and she had to admit that she had almost forgotten what it felt like. However, she remembered enough about it to know that it had never felt quite this good. Being with Clarke felt like finally being safe. Finally being free. Finally being Lexa.
She never wanted to be anyone else again.
When Clarke finally pulled away, it was like she had been reading Lexa's mind. "Forget being queens. I just want to be Clarke and Lexa."
"I have never wanted anything more," Lexa whispered against the other girl's lips. "I really like you, Clarke."
"I really like you, too, Lexa," Clarke said immediately, not even having to think about it, as if she had been waiting to say it for far too long.
When Lexa pressed her lips back to Clarke's, her smile wider than she had ever remembered it being, she felt as if all of her burdens flew away, as if she was finally getting the chance to be completely reborn, completely happy again. A small voice somewhere deep inside her warned her about opening her heart again, reminding her of what had happened last time. Lexa ignored it, though, because it was too late.
She knew that Clarke had already seen right into her soul.
