AN: Sexy time? Yes please…thank you all for waiting this long for me to write Joker getting some action. Thanks as always to my wonderful beta Alilypea. I don't own Mass Effect, but if I ever win the lottery I will.

Joker was acutely aware of something warm and wet on the side of his neck, but through the veil of sleep his mind couldn't place what exactly it was. The wet sensation was moving down his body now, Joker opened his eyes just in time to watch Shepard run her tongue across his nipple before blowing a stream of cold air over it, Joker heard himself groan.

"Kai…" Joker ran his hand through her hair, "what are you doing?"

"Playing," Shepard shifted her weight so she could repeat her action on his other nipple, "why, is there a problem?"

"I thought you agreed that we should wait…" Joker pulled gently under her arms to bring her back up to face level.

"You said you wanted to wait to have sex," Shepard kissed him on the nose affectionately, "there are a lot of things that we can do that won't break you." Shepard started to slide her hand down Joker's chest and his breath hitched, his eyes transfixed on hers.

"Like what?" Joker noticed how breathless he sounded and could feel his stomach muscles twitching as her hand continued to its intended destination.

"Like…" Shepard grabbed his cock and gave it a squeeze, "this."

Joker's hips bucked up at the contact, Shepard smiled shifting away from him to rest on her knees. Grabbing the waist band of his boxers Shepard tugged lightly, "can we lose these?"

Joker swallowed hard, "Kai, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea."

"Do you trust me?" Shepard raised an eyebrow and tried not to frown.

"You know I do, I'm just feeling a little out of my element here." Joker ran his hand up Shepard's toned arm and gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

"So I ask again, can we lose these?" Shepard pulled on his boxers again and this time Joker lifted his hips to help her pull the shorts down. Shepard purred in response, "Why Mr. Moreau, I do believe I just found out why you've always been so cocky."

Joker chuckled and pulled her down for a kiss, Shepard smiling against his mouth. Soon Shepard's hand was on the move again, teasing the sensitive nerves across the bottom of his stomach and running her nails up the inside of his thighs, touching everywhere but the place he wanted the attention the most.

"Kai…" Joker was feeling a little breathless and was now so hard he almost hurt.

Shepard glanced up from Joker's chest and saw desperation in his eyes, and decided that the teasing had gone on long enough she grabbed his hard dick and began to slowly move her hand up and down in a slow rhythm.

"Shit," Joker watch Shepard as she pumped his cock and had to struggle not to cum just at the sight of it, pressing his head back into the pillow he let out a moan, "feels so good."

Joker felt something warm brush against his inner thigh and looked down to find Shepard face level with his cock, her tongue running up the crease of his hip, hand still pumping, "is this ok?"

"Yeah…ah," Joker felt an electric shock go through his body as her mouth brushed past his dick to lick a line up to his belly button.

"Problem?" Shepard glanced up.

"No, it's just…no one's done…that…before," Joker blushed at the confession.

"Do you want me to stop?" Shepard hadn't stopped teasing him with her hand, Joker was finding it hard to think.

Joker met Shepard's eyes and took a deep breath, "no…" Shepard smiled and keeping her eyes locked with his ran her tongue slowly up his dick before taking him into her mouth. "Fuck." Joker's head dropped back onto the pillow and his nerves were on fire with the unfamiliar sensation, he could feel the slow building of tension in his core as she moved her mouth up and down on his cock, gradually increasing her speed.

Joker could feel his world coming undone when Shepard added her hands into the mix, one working her mouth and adding the odd squeeze at random intervals which left him guessing, the other gently lifting his balls and kneading them. "Kai…" Joker tangled his hand in her hair and pulled gently when she didn't stop trying to get her attention, "Kai, stop."

"Why? Something wrong?" Shepard kept pumping her hand, looking up at him with swollen lips and flushed cheeks.

"No, but I'm close…I wanted to warn you so you could stop." Joker's hips were moving with her hand now, increasing the speed.

"Oh Jeff," Shepard let out a sexy laugh, "I have no plans on stopping."

Joker groaned as Shepard swallowed him in a quick motion and resumed her prior motions with renewed vigor, her speed increasing and the pressure from her hand more firm, the pleasure quickly building to a breaking point Joker was panting, "Kai…shit…" Arching his back he spilled into her mouth all of his body alight with pleasure that he had never felt before. Shepard swallowed all he had to offer before releasing him from her mouth and stretching to lay next to him.

"Good?" Shepard ran her hand up his chest and rested against his pounding heart.

"That's a slight understatement I think, you're amazing." Joker felt the tug of sleep behind his eyes and yawned, "what about you though?"

"You're exhausted, we can talk about me in the morning, go to sleep." Shepard rolled and kissed him on his cheek before settling against his chest and closing her eyes, "I'll have you know though that your tab is getting to be quite impressive."

Joker laughed softly pulling her in closer, "I'll pay you back with interest."

"Damn right you will," Shepard felt Joker's breathing even out and slowly felt herself fall asleep.

"Good Morning Commander," Shepard opened her eyes and looked over at EDIs blue orb in the corner, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine thanks EDI," Shepard sat up and ran her hands over her face trying to get the sleep out of her eyes, Joker still had his eyes closed but reached out and took one of her hands and interlocked their fingers together.

"How's your leg?" Joker's voice was low with sleep but he still managed to sound concerned.

Shepard pulled the sheet back to take a look at the new scar, it had faded to a pale pink overnight but was still sore to the touch, "well it's going to show when I wear miniskirts," she laughed at the thought of herself in a skirt at all, "I've had worse, and I'm sure it will fade more with time."

Joker sat up and rested on his elbow to take a better look at the mark, "I can't believe how fast you heal."

"Yeah I know, it takes some getting used to," Shepard looked back at EDIs orb, "I'm sorry EDI, did you need me for something?"

"You have a lunch arrangement with Mr. Krios, Officer Chambers asked me to remind you."

"Oh that's right," Shepard carefully placed her feet on the ground and stood up slowly adjusting her weight to see if her muscles were still sore, taking a slow step she smiled. "Oh yeah, feeling so much better."

Joker tried to smile, "that's great Kai, I'm glad."

Shepard wasn't so easily fooled, "what's wrong?"

Joker pulled at a string coming from the blanket on the bed, "you've got a date with Krios?"

Shepard walked around to Joker's side of the bed and sat on the edge resting one hand on his thigh over the blanket. "No, I don't have a date with Thane. I'm going out to lunch with him so I can get to know him."

Joker raised an eyebrow, "so tell me if going out with someone to get to know them isn't a date what is?"

Shepard was getting frustrated, "oh, I don't know…having someone up to my personal quarters, having them spend the night and waking them up to give them a blow job at 3 a.m.? Jealousy doesn't suit you Joker."

Joker flushed, "what doesn't suit me is my girlfriend going out for a date with another man, how would you feel if I went out with Kelly?"

Shepard walked over to her dresser and started to pull out her clothes for the day, if Joker was going to be this childish over something this small she was defiantly going to get off of the ship for the afternoon.

"Well for one I trust you," Shepard pulled her jeans up before turning her back to joker to put on her bra, "so I'm not worried about you going out to lunch with Kelly." Shepard found her favorite black shirt and tugged it on before turning around to face Joker crossing her arms across her chest she frowned, "and for two when you say that you love me I believe you so I don't think you would do anything to hurt me, now you said you trusted me last night but right now I'm not sure that I believe that."

"I do trust you Kai but-"Joker was cut off.

"No you don't, because if you did me going out for lunch to welcome someone to the crew wouldn't be such a big deal. Now I'm going out with Thane, and I'll be back whenever I'm done. If you want to go out with Kelly I'm sure EDI can arrange that for you." Pulling her hair up in a ponytail she shrugged on her N7 jacket, pressing the button to the open the door she spoke over her shoulder not hiding the hurt in her voice, "have a good day Joker."

The door was shut behind her and he could hear the whir of the elevator before he got a chance to process what had happened.

"Shit, I just screwed up." Joker stood up to get dressed.

"Yes, Jeff, you did," EDIs voice sounded disappointed and Joker sighed.

"Where is she?" Joker pulled on his hat and headed into the elevator hoping to catch up with Shepard before she left.

"The Commander and Mr. Krios just left the ship Joker," EDIs voice filled the elevator and a sense of dread filled him.

"This is going to be a really long day," heading towards the cockpit he decided to use the time to double check the ship's maintenance reports and figure out how to apologize to Shepard when she got back.

Shepard was laughing as she stepped through the airlock back onto the Normandy, her earlier bad mood diminished after spending the past few hours making a new friend. Once Thane had opened up Shepard found that he had a wicked sense of humor, he was intelligent and had so many interesting stories that she found herself hanging off his every word.

Joker looked up from his reports when he heard the airlock open and heard Thane's growly voice as they walked down the hallway.

"I enjoyed lunch very much, Siha, perhaps if we have another shore leave we could do it again."

Joker temper flared and he struggled to stand to intercept their conversation.

"I'd like that Thane; I still think you need to join Garrus and I for cards though. You guys would have a blast comparing stories." Shepard smiled and patted Thane on the shoulder, hearing Joker's distinct walk behind them she turned.

"Siha? He's got a fucking pet name for you now?" Joker was furious, "you said it wasn't a date! You came back with a pet name! Who does that?"

"Oh I don't know, Joker," Shepard calmed her face and concentrated on her breathing so her temper didn't run away with her, "seems like the kind of things that friends do."

"The hell it is, I can't believe this." Joker crossed his arms and frowned, "I thought we were together!"

"We ARE," Shepard felt her control slip she turned to Thane, "I'm sorry Thane, and Joker's being an idiot."

"I am not! You-"

Shepard turned on Joker and stalked towards him closing the gap in three strides, startled Joker backed up until he hit the wall behind him. "Yes you are, you don't own me Joker. I don't know what the fuck your problem is but I don't appreciate my boyfriend second guessing my every move."

Thane quietly slipped into the elevator and out of sight, trying to avoid being part of the argument.

"How would you feel Kai? You left the bed with me this morning to go out with him, you expect me to believe that there's nothing going on? Actions speak louder than words." Joker could feel the flush to his face, his heart stopped in his chest when he saw tears fill Shepard's eyes.

"You're right, they do." Shepard nodded and took a step back; wrapping her arms around herself she assumed her protected stance but didn't drop his gaze. "When I met you on the first Normandy and you told me about your disability I could have requested another pilot, but I didn't. When we got attacked I could have left you behind and escaped, but I didn't. I could have elected not to be tested for your surgery because of the complications, but I decided to do it anyway even though I was scared. I'm not going to be second guessed by you, Jeff. I've given you everything since we met, even my life. You don't trust me enough to let me go out with a friend for lunch; you don't trust me enough to make love to me…" Shepard trailed off and wiped the tears that were now flowing freely down her face, she was grateful that the ship was mostly empty so the crew didn't see the display.

"If you don't trust me, Jeff, can you tell me what you're doing here?" Shepard gestured at the space between them, "What's the point?"

Joker sighed and felt his anger ebbing away, "you're right, I'm being stupid." He looked up and felt his heart break at how sad she looked, "come here…" he held his arms open but Shepard didn't move, "please, you look like you need a hug."

Shepard took a step forward and let Joker wrap his arms around her, "I'm sorry Kai, and I've just wanted you for so long the thought of losing you drives me crazy. Thane is strong, he's a soldier, he has way more in common with you," Joker paused and rested his chin on the top of her head, "he could make love to you when I can't. I guess my insecurities got away from me, I won't let it happen again."

Shepard pulled back to look Joker in the eye, "Joker, Thane's dying, he's scared and confused about what's happening with his body and I'm the only person that he knows that's been through it. He wants to talk to me so he knows what to expect. He knows we're together, and he never tried anything with me."

"Oh, I didn't know he was sick." Joker sighed, "I'm a dick."

"Yes, you are." Shepard took a step back from Joker pulling from his arms and walked over to the elevator.

"Can I come with you?" Joker took a step towards Shepard but stopped mid stride when he saw her shake her head.

"Not until you apologize to Thane, my cabin is off limits until you do." Shepard pressed the button and stepped in hitting the key for her floor, "you owe him that."

Joker nodded, "yeah, okay. I'll be up after?"

"Sure," Shepard nodded, "I'll see you then." The elevator doors slide shut taking Shepard from his view.

Joker waited a minute before pressing the button to bring the elevator back down from Shepard's floor, selecting the crew deck he tried to think of what he was going to say to Thane. Joker walked to the door for Thane's makeshift quarters and raised his hand to knock, "Thane? Do you have a minute?"

The door shifted open to show the Drell, "of course, Joker, come in." Stepping back to allow room for Joker to enter Thane walked over to a chair that had been pulled up to a small table and took a seat and gestured for Joker to join him. "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to say sorry about what I said," Joker rubbed the back of his neck and stared at his feet, "I was being stupid."

"Apology accepted, Joker," Thane smiled, "Shepard is an amazing woman, however I have no desire to overstep my bounds and cause issue between you two. She speaks very highly of you."

"She does?" Joker smiled and chocked his head to the side, "what does she say?"

Thane sat back and his eyes lost focus, "She leans forward, her eyes are animated. "You love him." I make it a statement, she looks down and a flush crosses her cheeks. She looks beautiful and she nods, meeting my eyes she smiles, "I do, very much." I smile back, her joy contagious." Thane glanced up at Joker, "I'm afraid that's all I'm willing to share, Joker, as a friend I would like to assure Shepard she can speak with me in confidence, I assure you however that she cares about you very much."

Joker stood up from the metal chair and extended his hand to Thane, "thanks, hopefully you'll forget about the mess I made of today and you'll consider me a friend too."

Thane shook Joker's hand and let out a low laugh, "I'm afraid Drell's have a perfect memory, however I would be happy to consider you a friend."

"Sounds good," Joker walked towards the door, "now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and get myself out of the dog house."

"I wish you luck Joker," Thane walked him to the door and nodded his goodbye as Joker made his way to the elevator.

Stepping in and pressing the button Joker sighed, this was going to be interesting.