Sorry about the time it took for this one! Busy, busy... But I'm still so happy that I've been getting the responses I've been getting ahah :) Lots of love. This is where it'll start to pick up!
I tucked my knees underneath me, wrapping my arms around my body and took in the scene before me. It was a bit windy- the uncut grass was long enough to sway in the breeze, but not enough to obstruct my view of the town beneath me. The sky had that milky, blue-grey kind of colour, and that reflected down onto the world; providing a heavy, yet peaceful atmosphere. The same feeling in my gut. Pathetic fallacy. Reflection. Birds chirped in the air above, a flock fluttering out from the trees and into the sky. There was a certain kind of untouched serenity that surrounded my body, a warm blanket draped over my shoulders. Freedom.
"You just saw Hanna?" Aria repeated, craning her neck to get a better look over the crowd.
"What was she doing? Where is she?" Spencer questioned at the same time, eyes narrowed, "And why isn't she answering my texts?"
"Well," I jut a thumb towards the doorframe, my stomach tightening. What ever sexual tension was happening between those two, it's giving me all the wrong feelings, "I just caught a glimpse of her over there. And she seemed really drunk," I added that last part just to tweak Spencer's inner frustrated mother. It worked.
"How long have they been here?" The brunette groaned, pushing herself to her feet. Hastily, I followed, and Aria too, with a small, "Wait up!"
Swerving around Spencer, various booze-soaked college kids, and a couple (or maybe not) making out passionately against the wall, I follow the general direction that I saw Hanna stumble in. Scanning the sea of people was a little bit harder than I first assumed; there were a lot of bottle blondes in college. Blonde- not Hanna, blonde- not Hanna, blonde- not Hanna. This was a fresh reminder as to why I don't like parties. And where the hell is Ali?
Whirring around, I ask, "Still no word?"
"Nope." The girl replies, pulling it from her pocket in a very similar fashion as she had three minutes ago, "Yeah, no, she hasn't said anything."
"I just vote we leave," Spencer shrugs incredulously, the waves of annoyance washing off of her, "Let them get alcohol poisoning. If they aren't going to answer, what's the point? Obviously none of us want to be here."
Thoughtfully, Aria cocks her head to the side, nodding ever so slightly. However, I'm far too set on finding Hanna. Confronting her. And, not to mention letting her go make some regretful, stupid decisions. "No," I whisper, setting my eyes to the crowd again, "You guys check down here. I'll look upstairs."
The hesitant, tired look shared between the both of them convince me to turn heel and get the hell out of there before they can argue. We're a group and we save each other from doing stupid things, I think sorely, dodging around a few guys leaning against the railings of the staircase. The fleeting thought to ask them if they've seen a really drunk looking blonde girl and a creepy guy had past here, but again; the amount of blondes present in this house made that question a little more work than I had time to give. There's a mysterious dark spot on the carpet that could either be barf or spilt liquor; it was hard to say.
Upstairs was less crowded than the bottom floor, that's for sure, but there was also the impression that behind every closed door was a drunk pair having some private time. Gonna have to start opening doors and become 'that girl who opened doors on everyone having sex.'
"Hanna?" Apprehensively, I call out down the hallway, "Hanna, are you up here?"
There was no answer, although a few guys and girls in the lineup by the bathroom peeked at me curiously. Damn. I was hoping to get some luck and avoid the awkward situation about to unfold.
I slip towards the right hand side of the hall, where there seemed to be a burnt out light because it was a lot darker than the other side, which is probably why more people were crushed together, which served a great alibi once I started opening doors. I can't believe I'm doing this. Damn it, Hanna!
"Hey, Hanna are you back here?" I ask, although she clearly isn't. There's a murmur of no's. Taking a deep breath in through my nose, I reach out and place my hand on the doorknob, and twist it open. I'm kind of scared to look.
"Hanna?" I call quickly- but there's no Hanna, just some oral sex that didn't stop despite being walked in on. Gross. Slamming the door shut, I move on to the next one,
"Hanna?"
The fact that this room seemed empty makes my stomach turn incomprehensibly. The music didn't seem to reach here, and the only light in the room was from the bedside lamp. There was something undeniably... creepy about this room. "Hello?" I call out, feeling the little hairs stand up on my arms. "Hanna..?"
There's a lump in my throat, I swallow it down and leer around the room; open closet, no one in there, but there's some glass doors on the other side of the room that must lead to a back deck. Where is she? And why is no one in here?
Laughter makes me jump, and I whirl around trying to find the source- the room was just as empty as it was two seconds ago. But the doors...
Anxiously, I hurry over to the glass doors and slide them open, poking my head out and inspecting the area. Yup, a balcony; and yes, it was occupied by two suspiciously familiar blondes and a third male counterpart. They haven't noticed me yet. Must be the booze, cause that wasn't a very quiet door.
"Hanna?" I prompt, and all three of them turn- bingo, there she is. With Ali and the mystery man. The sight brought me an unusual tightness in the chest.
"Jesus," I breathe, "We've been looking all over for you guys!" A bit of an exaggeration. We texted Ali and started poking around for Hanna, but, I'm still irked.
Ali appears pretty collected, the guy, someone that I still don't recognize even up close, standing between the two of them, arms resting over the railing around either side of them- and Hanna swaying on spot. "How much has she had?" I point at her- I can't tell if she's glaring or so drunk that she's trying not to puke.
"She's fine, Em." Ali laughs, leaning into the guy- her cool, nonchalant attitude starts to make my frustration boil a little bit more. And the fact that she is- again!- coddling up to some stranger! He could be a murderer, a rapist, some kind of goat sacrificing creep- he could have genital warts! How can some people just... trust? But maybe, if I were to be painfully honest with myself- it was more of the dismissal from the most centric person in my life that twisted the knife in the gut. My opinions aren't anything to her. Her whole existence held significance precedence over my own life.
A reminder that I am just not as important to her as she is to me.
"She doesn't look fine." I insist stubbornly, habitually reaching out to grab ahold of the intoxicated girl, before remembering my current standing with her. Ridiculous.
"Em," Ali rolls her eyes, tossing a lock of her blonde tresses over her shoulder and turning away from me slightly. Another familiar scene. Why is she being like this? No, not this time...
"Can I talk to you?" I ask lowly, meeting the daggers her eyes were throwing at me with the same fire. Alison lets out a heavy sigh, and throws the boy an apologetic smile,"I'll be right back."
Bitch.
She follows me back into the eerie room, shutting the glass door behind her. Reluctantly, I take a seat on the bed and look her over for a moment- there was never any other explanation to her actions in more "superior" social settings than to throw everyone beneath her under the bus. And that game was getting really, really old.
"You dragged us here," I begin, "And then you don't even answer?"
Alison raises a singular, cavalier shoulder, "I didn't think I was babysitting. I invited you guys here to have fun, not follow me around like a bunch of brown-eyed Labrador puppies."
Translation: I don't want to party with you, but I'll invite you so you can't burn me for going without you.
"Well," I spit bitterly, clenching my jaw, "If you don't want to babysitting- what's with Hanna, huh?"
A haughty laugh escapes her lips, "Please, Hanna needs this."
"This whole thing," I emphasize, a small wave of nausea washing over me about Ali's mindset, "Is ridiculous."
"You're being ridiculous." She counters just as quickly, eyes not leaving me for even half a second. It kind of blindsides me; the blunt, absolute malevolence burning under those blue eyes. Harsher than she needed to be, she... is still pissed about the Noel thing?
"Ali?" Is she seriously still pissed about the Noel thing? Have I been in her spiderweb this whole time? "Is this still about Noel?"
The guy. Hanna. She knows what to do to make people hurt- it's like a talent. It was all too well laid out. Make me trust her. She hits when you feel safe. Classic. How did I not suspect? I knew it was too easy!
She quirks a brow, "Is it?"
How do I answer that?
With a whoosh, the glass door slides open in perfect cosmic time; Hanna leaning against the doorway, pouting. The guy follows behind, looking only vaguely interested but mostly bored.
"What're we doing?" Hanna manages to slur, and Ali is all smiles again.
"Back to the party!" She purrs, "And we're taking Em."
Are we now? My mind has a lovely coating of pissed off sarcasm- but what is Ali up to this time? The other girl's face falls in visible disappointment, "Oh. Why?"
"Yeah, Ali," I drawl, "Why?"
"Cause, Emmy," Captively, Alison snaked forward and wrapped a hand around my wrist, "Needs to learn how to have fun."
It's a trap. We both know it. Between the two of us, like the unsaid connection that rippled anger through her veins and pulsed into my own skin as she held onto me.
"No," My voice gets caught somewhere behind my larynx, "That's okay. I'm not in the mood."
"And you're never going to be in the mood," Her fingers tighten around my wrist, tugging me forwards, "If you don't get out of your bubble."
Damn it, Ali, no! The guy's staring at me questioningly, Hanna huffs audibly, and Ali is giving me that personalized predator look.
Before I can stop myself, nervous giggles pop out of my mouth, "No," I insist, "Ali, you were right; drinking isn't for me." I shouldn't even be here.
God why couldn't it have been Spencer and Aria to find them?
"Em," The blonde pointedly dismisses my comment, "You're too cute. Who said you need booze to have fun?"
Fuck there is no getting out of this is there. Pulling my lip into my mouth, I begin to gnaw it tediously- think, there has to be something you can do to give her the slip... "Uhhh..." I drawl- mind blanking.
Smugly, Ali gives another rough squeeze to my hand, "That settles it!" She announces, faux-excited, "Let's go, then." She began tugging towards the door, and my legs slowly began to drag in the same direction.
"I should text Aria and Spencer!" I declare- thrusting my free hand into my pocket to grasp for the phone-hoping the desperation wasn't shining through in my voice. Then again, she could probably feel my heartbeat with the vice grip she had on me. Alison scoffs, "Ah, don't worry about it. They can take care of themselves."
My hand freezes on the cell. Fuck. Do I do it anyway? Slowly, I pull it from the pocket and look down at it; allowing Ali to guide me wherever they were headed- at least it was downstairs. Unlocking the screen, I open up my past messages with Aria; thumbs flying over the keypad;
found ali and hanna, cant talk, dont know where theyre headed- SOS ali is -
"Em." Ali says sharply, and I jump- turning the phone over in my hand, "Don't text them. They're fine."
But am I?
I keep scanning the heads in the crowd for some kind of familiar face- as Ali lead her harem through the crowd, back into the kitchen, and outside through the back door. Back here- there were such festivities as a beer bong being chugged, and a game of what appeared to be some kind of poker. Since I don't know which kind of drunks could focus on simple poker- I decide that it must be strip poker. Otherwise why bother?
But we didn't stop here, she kept going confidently through the yard and around the house, arriving at what appeared to be a cellardoor. Alright- enough of this.
Wriggling my wrist, I try to escape the girl's unrelenting grasp. She glances at me over her shoulder, feigning concern, "What's wrong?"
"I'd really rather not go down there," I insist, still all but flailing my arm around trying to get her to let go.
"You're always so concerned." Ali laughs, "Loosen up!"
"I'm trying," Muttering, I give a final yank of the arm, but even that doesn't shake Ali.
This is when the guy piped in for the first time, "It's just an only pantry. We put a couple of old couches down there- use it for hotboxing."
Hotboxing... pot!
Ali shrugs playfully, "You said drinking wasn't your thing."
"What if pot isn't my thing either?" I counter, there's a squirming feeling in my gut. God, Ali, let me go!
"Then you can join Hanna," She states simply, "She won't be having any."
Hanna whined, "I wish!"
Letting out a chuckle, Ali began to descend the steps, "Tip, Em; if you ever drink, don't try smoking. Heavy risk of vomit."
"Noted." Glumly, I allow her to drag me forewards again. She'll let go of me down here, and eventually I can give her the slip.
She pushes the door open, and I am immediately engulfed in warmth and the smell of weed- it makes my eyes water at first. There's a short, dark hallway before it opens up into another half-lit room with a bunch of people lounging around- there's no room on any of the couches anymore, and people have resorted to sitting on the floor. Two bongs are being passed around, and a few others are peacefully puffing on their own joints.
"Heeey!" A guy greets- classic stoner looking guy, may I add. Shoulder length hair and I think he's wearing a floral shirt, "Welcome to mi casa!"
"What's up, Trevor?" The guy greets, giving the stoner a friendly fist bump, "What shit's yours?"
Ali and Hanna sit down on the floor- and I follow suit. Only then does the blonde let my wrist drop. I cradle it towards me like an infant- I hadn't noticed how sore it now was. Trevor points to the yellow bong someone was cradling between their knees, lighting. "That one. Nothing too crazy, just my home grown shit. Tame, but it works."
What the hell, Ali? I never pegged her as a pot kind of girl- in fact, she'd never even mentioned an interest in doing it before now. I wonder how fast I can get out of here.
"Right on, buddy." The guy who's name I realize I still don't know, takes a seat on the arm of the couch beside his friend. He casts an appreciative look over at my captor, and she flirtatiously bats her lashes back at him. Good thing I'm not drunk- this is Noel Kahn's all over again.
Someone pokes my shoulder, and I look; it's a girl, holding out the larger, more intimidating looking purple bong as an offering. Politely, I decline, and she shrugs. Not that I'd have any clue how to use it. I watch as she pokes around the bowl, and then brings the top of it to her mouth- lighting the bowl. Inside the base of it, thick smoke begins to build and be pulled upwards and into her mouth, down to her lungs- she strained to get as much as she could from it and then quickly pulled it away from her, exhaling at the same time as the person next to her grabbed ahold and pulled the remaining smoke into her own body. The stream of white seemed neverending, but it did eventually and the girl hacked in pain.
I have to get out of here.
Averting my eyes, I look down at the concrete and notice my hands are shaking. To distract myself, I begin picking at the worn purple bracelet Ali gave me- and swivelled around to check out the hallway where we entered, and then back at Ali. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw her in the middle of taking the yellow bong from the guy beside her. Temptation to tell her not to do it burned all the way through my mind- but I knew she would anyway; this was part of my punishment.
"Hold up," The guy said, letting go of the bong so Ali could hold it on her own- beaming ear to ear. The guy scraped out the ash from in the bowl and then crumbled a few more pieces from a plastic bag in, "Do you want me to light it?" He offered, and Ali nodded. I couldn't look. But I soon heard the sounds of the water bubbling as Ali pulled through the top, I took the opportunity to whip my phone out and covertly finish the text to Aria;
found ali and hanna, stuck in the cellar outside SOS- explain later
I sent it with a wind of relief, and when I looked back up, Ali was handing the bong back, a slow grin on her face. Hanna clapped in excitement, giggling, "Wow, Ali," She yawned, leaning into her, "I'm tired."
Opportunity! It may be Hanna but it would give me an excuse to escape, "I can take her." I pipe in quickly, curling a hand around Hanna's shoulder. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
Ali's eyes were already bloodshot, and she chirped in response, "Han, how're you feeling?"
Hanna shrugged, "Kinda tired."
"I think," Ali snickered lightly, "You need another drink." This time, she just grabbed Hanna and stood, "We'll be back," She announced to the crowd, but I jumped to my feet, hurried around the two of them and managed to escape the cellar before they did. The cool, night air felt great on my skin compared to the smoky, musky hotboxing room. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I unlocked my phone screen-
on our way. then we leave- this is a disaster.
You can say that again, I think, consoled by their lack of interest in the event.
Hanna and Ali emerge from the room- God, do I want to give Ali shit. But I can't right now. She must notice me glaring because her face contorts in amusement, "Oh, Emmybear, you're so cute."
Groaning, I turn away; crossing my arms over my chest. I don't even want to look at her.
"What is with you?" She laughs, giving me a light punch in the arm- more torture. She wants me to yell, to do something, so she can rub everything she has against me in my face.
"Nothing, Ali," I say through clenched teeth, still refusing to look at her- instead staring at the poker game that had been going on. Wasn't strip poker, after all. Seems like an opportunity missed, if you ask me. "You know I just don't like parties."
"One day," She prods me again, an uncoordinated hand reaching out and grabbing me by the chin. Begrudgingly, I allow myself to look at her, "I'm going to make you like a party, Em. One day you'll have fun."
"Not today." Grunting, I jerk my head away from her hand, "You know, Ali- this is all really stupid. Why don't you just pull your big move of getting payback at me and get it over with."
Her blue eyes narrowed into slits- sure, Ali was all about games, but she liked it best when everyone played along. Calling her out when she was playing was her biggest pet peeve. That'll get me hit twice as hard, if not now, then later; she'll make you laugh, she make you cry but only in time, and always on hers. Admirable, yes, but ultimately, pretty evil.
"Fine." She says the single, venomous word, and turns grabs Hanna by the wrist in a similar way as she did to me. Curiously, Hanna turned towards her, eyebrow quirked- but before she could ask a single question and before I could walk away; Ali had moved her hands to either side of the girl's face and crashed their faces together in a kiss.
What?
My hurt was only semi covered by the initial shock. This wasn't what I was expecting.
They pulled away, Hanna appearing rather violated and confused, but Ali was laughing hysterically, "I'm so sorry, Han," She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, "When in college, right?"
"Uhh." Hanna gaped, eyes darting around, "Sure?"
I was too busy trying to figure out whether or not I was more surprised or genuinely upset. That was a rather daring attack Ali pulled- and it didn't even really work...
"Is this a bad time?" Spencer deadpanned, arms crossed and eyes narrowed- seemingly emerging from the shadows. I've never been so glad. Aria wasn't far behind; standing with her mouth gaping in a shocked 'o' and her brows knitted together.
"Actually," I reply before Ali can respond, sweeping past her and joining the two brunettes, "It's the perfect time. Let's leave,"
"Wait," Aria chimes, pointing at the still very confused, very drunk Hanna, "Are you okay, Han?"
Alison scoffs, "Everyone needs to stop asking that. She's fine."
"I wasn't talking to you," The tiny girl spits with a surprising amount of fury, "Hanna, are you alright?"
Her blue eyes darted back and forth between the three of us, to the pouting, glaring, I-didn't-get-what-I-wanted Alison- unsurely trying to decide the correct answer. Which was, the truth- or face Ali's wrath. No one else needs to be on that fucking train, I think bitterly, and then pipe up, "Didn't you say you were tired?"
"Oh," Hanna says breaths, forcing a laugh, "uhm, kind of. I'm kind of tired, a little bit."
"You can come back to my place with us," Spencer says softly, looking Hanna over- her intensity wasn't directed at her- but at the other blonde, "You're starting to look green."
She wasn't really, but it seemed to be Spencer's concern trying to talk our friend out of making a bad decision and staying at this mess with Ali all Pineapple Express.
Quickly, Hanna's hand rises to her cheek- eyes widening, "I do?"
Instantly, Alison rolled her eyes and grumbled, "You guys suck at having fun."
"Maybe it's not fun for us, Ali!" I snap, "Maybe you're being a jackass!"
A small hand curles around my wrist, "Em," Aria whispers, "It's fine, we're out of here."
She's right, and thank God she is.
Inhaling slowly through my nose, I close my eyes and allow the oxygen into my body, "Okay. It's fine."
"So, are you coming, Han?" Spencer prods one last time, her body beginning to turn towards the exit. Whether we're fighting or not, I don't want Hanna here with Ali- not in that dank cellar with those creeps. With one last glance at Alison, Hanna reluctantly nods and wobbles over to us- reminding me unusually of a sick puppy with it's tail between it's legs. Alison says nothing, but turns on heel and stalks away from us, while we do the same. Out of the party. I check my watch; we hadn't even been here for an hour and a half.
"Well," Spencer hisses quietly as to not wake Hanna, whom had passed out on her bed the moment she hit the mattress. The three of us had to collectively undress her out of her jeans and blouse, and then hoist her onto her side, on the bed where she now snored. After the three of us had also exhaustingly changed into our pyjamas, I had proceeded to tell them about Ali (and Hanna) at the party- since I felt like that would've been a weird conversation to have while Hanna was still conscious, and also, it would be weird to talk about that in the cab. "I say we cut the cord, guys. Ali has officially gone frickin nuts. She's lost it. She's a sociopath."
It feels like air is being slowly released from my chest as the crushing reality of Ali's sadistic personality continues to show. There's nothing I could ever do about it and I know it. You can't change people who don't think there's anything wrong.
"Well," Aria shrugs, scratching her head in bewilderment, "What was that tonight? Kissing Hanna? Talk about weird."
"She was trying to make me feel bad." I mumble, suddenly feeling like the void forming in my chest was noticeable to everyone- and I hastily snatch a pillow from Spencer's bed and hug it against myself. Ali had always been a bit different to me than everyone else. I always wanted her approval. I always wanted to be good enough for her. She knows it- tonight was sure-fire of that, but no one else did. I'd never even confessed our kiss to anyone.
Aria furrows her brow, "So why kiss Hanna?"
My fingers clutch around the fabric of the pillow, "Maybe because- I don't know- Hanna and I are fighting?"
Spencer shakes her head, "That doesn't-"
Vibration that sounds like an earthquake makes us all jump- whirling around, I scan for the source of it. On Spencer's nightstand, lays Hanna phone- screen lit up. Lunging for it, I quickly turn it to silent before inspecting the name on the Caller ID;
"It's Mona." I announce, flustered. For some reason, that doesn't seem right. It was almost one in the morning, why would Mona be calling? "Should I answer it?"
Spencer pinches the bridge of her nose, "No. Let it go to voicemail and then send her a text asking if it's an emergency."
"Okay." I place the phone on the floor; everyone silently waiting until the screen goes dark. Lethargy pooled into the room like fog, as the adrenaline of the night sapped out of our systems and our eyelids began to droop. As Spencer suggested, I sent Mona a quick text on Hanna's phone, letting her know it was me, and asking if it was an emergency, and then put the phone back on the night stand. Spencer and Aria fell asleep in their makeshift bed on the floor, and I crawled under the covers next to Hanna; her body heat engulfing me- it made me tempted to reach out and curl around her, until I remembered how eccentric that would be, given the circumstances. Instead, I pulled my knees up to my stomach and tucked my arms into my chest. Do we really cut Ali loose? Tonight was strange- unnerving, even. Her behaviour too such a drastic turn that I still don't know how to react, it was a numb spot that I hadn't yet processed.
When I was half in a dream, I heard the phone go off, but couldn't find myself to care.
