A/N: Wow. I finished this before I even posted the last chapter. I am so proud of myself. And this is the last chapter for October! Woo hoo! Only… eight… or nine… or ten… months to go. I'm not sure where I'm going to be ending it yet. (Oh my god, I've only done nine chapters and I'm already thinking about when it's going to end! Believe me, I don't want to end it! Honest!) Maybe the first day of her sixth year?
Anyway. Thanks to CatherineMcq for reviewing twice, and also a special thanks toshadow929, Banoffee, sarcastic spastic, snuffles101, MotherCrumpet, lucid-03-days, shayacatalystscifigirl, PrincessPotter16.
And yes, I read every single review. Also, someone (sorry, can't remember who it was) asked when the complication was going to happen. Well the truth is, I'm not sure, because if Katie has a complication in her life all the time, it would be so darn unrealistic (I mean, not that this story's realistic anyway, seeing as how there's magic and all involved :P). But yeah, there will be another one. Eventually. One day. In the not-so-distant future...
And for those of you who laugh easily; yeah, so do I. That's oneof the main reason why this story's funniness is so lame, because I love lame jokes (funny names, funny voices, funny sayings; you name it, I laugh at it). Lol.
And I guess most of you have gathered by now that I'm really random; I come up with the strangest, randomest things. So I guess you should learn to expect anything, right? Lol. So yeah, keep up the cool reviews! (And have you noticed how quickly I've updated?)
October 31st: How Do You Lose In An APPLE BOB?
I leap down to breakfast happily. After all, it's my second favourite day of the year- (after my birthday. Christmas doesn't count, 'cos that's EVERYONE'S favourite.) – Halloween!
I love Halloween because it's so exciting. You never know what will happen this year. Maybe a ghost will suddenly start stalking you, trying to avenge their long lost cousin whom your evil great uncle Morty killed, or bats will start to sleep in your dorm, or someone will carve a pumpkin that looks eerily like you. It's just so DIFFERENT.
And then there's the whole trick-or treat thing. I mean, even though I'm like, fifteen and a half, I still like collecting junk food off poor, unsuspecting victims because they assume I'm a small child who still believes in Santa. I did believe in Santa, too, right up until my first day at Hogwarts, when Fred and George told me he wasn't real. I cried and kicked them, and they've never forgotten it.
But that's another story. Right now, I glance adoringly up at the decorations surrounding the Great Hall. (Presumably) live bats hang from the ceiling, cool lit up pumpkins grin down at me and the tables have all creepy food on them, like carrots and peas, even though it's only breakfast.
"Hey!" I greet my friends (and other random people) cheerily.
The other random people looked scared. My friends just take it all in stride. "Halloween then, Katie?" Angelina observes, glancing at me.
"Yep," I reply energetically. I'm almost bouncing off the seat. I grab some waffles off a plate and then smear them in a funny orange paste and bite into it. George watches in a kind of horrified way, as I lick my lips and say how nice it was.
"Bell, that was triple hot chilli sauce," he smirks at Fred.
"What?"
"You know, hot stuff," Fred says seriously, then looks crestfallen. "You didn't taste it?"
"Nope," I say brightly. "My tastebuds burnt when you decided to give me an acid pop and dyed it purple in second year, remember?"
"Oh yeah," Fred says, the incident dawning on him.
"Classic," George says evilly, sighing as he remembers.
I had been going through a love of lollypops when Fred and George had brought me a huge purple one day. They had said that their brother Percy had brought it back for them, and so I shoved it in my gob straight away. Unfortunately, they had somehow managed to take an acid pop and dye it purple, and my tastebuds have never been the same since. But it makes me wonder: if they had to disguise it, just to get me to eat it, how had they made Ron eat one?
Needless to say, I've never accepted anything from them since.
"It's one of our new experiments," George explains. "We thought we'd try it on Katie, because we knew she'd eat anything orange."
Hmm. Was that a veiled insult? Before I can ponder it further, however, Lee interrupts.
"You should melt an acid pop and put it in there," he says.
Smooth, Lee. Just TELL them how to kill us! "No," I say quickly. "Why don't you try it on someone with feeling? After all, you wouldn't want to get sued by potential customers."
"It'll wear off after a few hours," Fred protests.
I give them a hard look. "Mine hasn't worn off, and it's been years," I say.
Fred holds up his hands. "Okay, okay," he says. But I can see the look he gives George. And I know they'll be experimenting with melted Acid Pops in the next few hours. Just for that, I give Lee a hard kick.
"Ow! What was that for?" he asks crossly.
I roll my eyes, then decide to ignore him. "Hey Oliver," I say to Oliver, who is sitting on the other side of me. "How's it going?"
"Bell," Oliver acknowledges me with a nod of his head. He's leaning over some sort of thick book. "Alright, actually. But you know Quidditch season starts next month. The first game is only a few weeks away. We're going to need to start practising more often."
"Wood!" I cry exasperatedly. "We're the only team that's been practising this month! Even though there's this little fact that Quidditch hasn't even started yet!"
"I know," Oliver informs me. "But we need to stay in top shape. We need to win this year. It's my last chance for the cup, you know. I've come up with a list of new plays, and a new training schedule. We're going to be training harder, faster and longer. And that's not all…"
I start to ignore him, too. Is nobody sane today?
It's Herbology. We file into the classroom. We were assigned pairs at the start of the year, but luckily she noticed who was friends with who and so I was paired with Fred. Alicia is with Lee and Angelina was paired off with George. It worked out pretty well, actually, except she put Lee and Alicia over on the other side of the Greenhouse, and George and Ange a few tables in front.
Today, we have to sit down at our tables while Professor Sprout explains what we are going to be doing.
"Today, we will be working with the Quince. It is a type of fig tree, and although many muggles use it, it has many magical healing properties. Today we will be extracting some of the root juice, but I must warn you not to damage them. It will shrivel up and die immediately, and we cannot grow them quickly. Please refrain from putting in any substance apart from water, as they will not take too kindly to it."
Wow. This sounds like a charming plant. 'Shrivel up and die immediately'? It sounds like a bit of mouldy cheese.
"Your Quinces are on the floor next to you. You may begin," she announces.
"Okay," I say blankly to Fred. "What are we doing?"
Fred shrugs. "Dunno," he says. But he picks up the plant and puts it on the table. It's really beautiful, too- brilliant green leaves and funny coloured little figs. It makes me almost feel bad that I have to practically squeeze the life out of its roots.
I put on my green dragon hide gloves and dig down into the soil and feel around for the roots. "Got them!" I say. "Now what do I do?"
"Squeeze them, I s'pose," Fred says, watching the plant intently.
"Cool," I say, a little grossed out. But I have too much pride to admit it, so I close my eyes and gently start to squeeze. It's really disgusting.
"Miss Bell," Professor Sprout says. "You are actually supposed to collect the sap."
"Right," I say, giving her a 'no worries' smile. "Thanks."
I've just shut my eyes again when I feel a funny sensation on my hand, and then it starts burning. "Augh!" I shriek, pulling my hand out and waving it around. Right before my very eyes, the liquid is dissolving through my dragon-hided gloves, reducing them to little more than charred ash. "It burns! It burns!" I'm almost hysterical.
Fred is standing beside me guiltily. I notice that he's swiftly hiding a vial behind his back (which I suspect used to hold a considerable amount of melted acid pop mixture), and I run to him furiously. "What did you do?" I screech, all the while waving my hand about in the air fervently.
To his credit, he looks a little guilty. But he still doesn't answer, so I whack him hard on the head. (Of course, to achieve this, I have to jump up almost as high as I can.)
The class is in pandemonium. People are shouting loudly, running around and looking towards me urgently. Nobody seems to know what to do, whilst in the middle I am screaming about my hand. Hey. It hurts.
Fred clutches his head dramatically. "My head!" he shrieks in a pretty damn accurate impersonation of me. I hit him again, even harder, and this time I think I really DO hurt him. Mostly because he's sort of standing around, dazed.
"Katie!" I hear a voice yell. I turn around but can't figure out who said it.
"I'll save you!" and then, without warning, someone shoots a jet of water directly at me, so hard that I fall onto my bum in the ground. My hand has stopped burning, and where I had a glove there is just pink flesh, and Fred looks over apologetically at me.
I'm soaking wet, but the most I can muster up is a glare, which I send Fred's way.
Then someone starts laughing, and I turn to see who it is. It's Lee; he has got to be the most unhelpful, meanest, annoying boyfriend EVER.
But then he comes and helps me up, then gives a hug despite the whole class watching; the teacher watching and the fact that I am sopping wet. So I guess he can be pretty sweet, too.
Halloween this year has so far proved to be very boring. I mean, where are the murderous ghosts, freaky bats and laughing Jack in the pumpkins?
"I'm bored," I say dispiritedly. We're all up in the Gryffindor common room; we have a study period. I mean, seriously. Who actually STUDIES in a study period?
"I have an idea," Ange says suddenly.
"Yeah?" Fred asks. He's been looking very down since the incident in the Greenhouse. I think he actually feels bad about it. I don't know why he can't feel bad about the whole disappearing tastebuds thing.
"Let's have an apple bob!" she says excitedly.
I look at her sceptically.
"Come on," she says. "It'll be fun. Besides, Bell," she says, looking sideways at me, "it's a Halloween tradition. We can't last the whole day without doing it."
"Fine," I agree, "but if the whole House wants to join in, I bags first go."
It turns out that the whole House does want to join in, because as soon as Fred and George come down from their dorm with a large tub (don't ask me WHERE they found it… who knows what they hide in that cupboard of theirs…) and then when Ange and Lee bring back a huge bag of apples, half the House wants to have a go, too. Well, all the people in the common room.
"Can I have a go?" Lachlan Turris comes up and asks me, scratching his matted blonde hair.
"Uh… yeah, I guess," I say. I mean, it would be too mean for me not to let him. I can only hope that I get to go before him, otherwise I will be getting a mouthful of Lachlan Turris' boogies, instead of apples.
Then a seventh year comes up and asks, and so I let her join in, too.
"I'm going first!" Lachlan Turris exclaims excitedly, waving an arm in the air.
Angelina meets my gaze and pretends to vomit. "Okay," she says instead. "Just pick an apple that you can reach."
It's painfully obvious when Lachlan Turris has to go under the water not once, but four times, that he cannot apple bob for the life of him. And the more flustered he gets, the more he snorts, and the more the slime in his nose hangs down.
"Got it!" he crows, holding a small green apple in his hand like a trophy. The rest of us clap politely, until I take a closer look and almost gasp in shock.
Lachlan Turris' snot trail is gone.
"Katie," Alicia chirps, not noticing anything. "You're up next."
Oh, god, no. I desperately try to back out of it. "Uh, you know what, guys?" I ask, stalling for time.
Angelina narrows her eyes at me suspiciously. "Hurry up," she says. "We don't have all day."
"Uh, no, I'm not feeling that well…" It's not a lie. I really DON'T feel well. Not any more.
"Come on, Bell," Lee smiles patronisingly at me. "Scared of losing?"
Just how, exactly, do you lose in an APPLE BOB? But I don't say that. "Of course not," I scoff. I take a step forward and gulp reluctantly, before spying my target and diving headfirst into the freezing cold water.
The apple hits me in the nose before floating back up to the top, and so I have to surface again. Everyone looks at me expectantly, and so just as I take a deep breath to go back in for the kill, I try and stop mid motion. Because floating calmly on top of the water, centimetres from my face, is a thin silver trail. But by the time I notice it, I can't stop and so my face goes straight through it. I shriek under the water, filling my lungs up with it, but I manage to grab the apple in between my teeth.
"Got it," I mumble, although no one can hear me because of the apple.
Angelina stares at me, then takes a step closer. "Katie," she whispers, "you've got snot all over your face."
I spit the apple out, hitting Lachlan Turris in the head. "Eww!" I exclaim, then remember that I've injured Lachlan, who everyone is crowding around. "Sorry, mate," I grin apologetically, although what I'm REALLY sorry about is how it didn't knock him out. Preferably for a few days.
Lachlan Turris smiles and waves it off. "Forget about it," he says cheerfully, like I didn't just almost crack his skull open with an apple. "I'm fine."
Then the bell rings for lunch, and everybody files down into the Great Hall. I stay for a moment, wiping all the snot off with my sleeve. Lee waits for me.
"You know," he says, "Turris' snot really suits you."
"Thanks," I say sarcastically, reaching up and kissing him, then wiping snot all over his face. "It suits you too."
As we are walking down the stairs, I remember something. "Lee," I say, "how do you lose in an apple bob?"
"You can't." Lee grins wickedly. "I just knew you'd dive headfirst into it, anyway."
A/N: Hey. Yeah, sorry about the Halloween chapter (especially if I missed any details. Would you believe that I've never once, in my entire life, celebrated Halloween?)
And I was just wondering... If I post this at 2:44pm (I can't remember what Time Zone I live in, so I'll just say it's Australia), on Saturday the 4th March 2006 , when does it get posted in other countries? I mean, some of the story alerts I have are emailed to me at like 1:00 in the morning or whatever, so I was just wondering when people got my story updates. That's all. Lol. That question has been bugging me for awhile now...
